Apparently, I'm in the Dog House tonight

[DesignFox]

I got back really late from work today. We had our holiday store meeting and then one of the managers invited us all to her house afterward. I called to tell him I would be late...
But, I got back and BF won't talk to me :(
I couldn't sleep so I'm browsing...Anyone else have a problem with significant others who just can't understand the retail life? Or when you actually have a GOOD job that you enjoy and just love hanging out with your co-workers?

[Luna]

DF! I told you I would go home and I didn't want you to get in trouble. We need to talk about your man. Just from what you've told me, he sounds like a nice guy - who just happens to want to control every aspect of your life and shape it into what he wants you to be with no accounting for what you want at all.

Truly, from the bottom of my heart - I'm only saying this b/c you're too good to be treated like this. You are a beautiful, young, extremely talented woman. Do what YOU want to do with your life. In all the conversations we've had about him - you've never talked to me about fun times or happy times you've had with him.

Think about it. Your happiness or his. I vote you. But then I'm biased b/c you're like my lil sister. :D

:hug:

[kerrisan]

I don't know the situation and I don't know you, but I will try to help. You must be feeling awful, but there is no reason to. It sounds like your man is insecure; you did nothing to deserve "the dog house." You told him that you were going to be late, which is more than alot of men even bother to do.

But again, to me it sounds like your man is insecure and you don't deserve that treatment. You are better than that; hold your head up proudly!

[DesignFox]

Thanks Kerrisan and Luna :D We did talk about it a lot last night (I was up til about 4!). Tonight we are having a movie and dinner night together. I hope to sort things out with him. It makes me feel awful and I wouldn't normally post about it online, but I was just so frustrated! I hope to pin him down tonight on what the underlying issue is, because he really is a good man; I'm just tired of arguing about my retail job, being out late...etc. Any advice I can take would be great... I'm not trying to make it out like he's a monster or anything, just wondering if anyone else deals with anything similar and how they've addressed the situation. ;)

I'll post again when the solution hits.

[The Gatekeeper]

If he really wants to make things better and truly understant what is motivating him, then councelling is what I would recommend. You are following the classic path to an abusive relationship.

I'll even give him the benefit of the doubt that he doesn't even realize he's going it. But whether it's an underlying insecurity or an attempt to isolate and control, or a genuine fear for your well being, he needs to address it. Go as a couple the councellor will know if it's a couple thing, or just his problem.

You both need to ask yourselves what the relationship is worth to you. You'll know what to do then.

Good luck.

[DesignFox]

Happy to report that we had a long talk last night and everything is fine! The cranky behavior? Because it's late at night. He explained that it's like my cranky behavior in the morning (I'm a super cranky bear in the morning, apparently this happens to him late at night). Nothing to do with my having gone out. Although, he was upset because we had not spent much time together on the weekend, and he would have liked to have seen me before he went to sleep. He said, "I'm not trying to control you honey, I just missed you this weekend. Don't be sorry for going out with your friends." I think he just wants me to come home on time a little more often (sometimes a few of us will chat after work for like 30 mins in the parking lot!) He doesn't mind if I get invited to go out. I think it helps that I explained that my friends would like to meet him, that I wasn't excluding him from anything- he and his friends do always invite me out when they go out- I think he was feeling like he wasn't welcome or something. Anyway- I think everything should be fine now. Just a HUGE misunderstanding. I can see these things happening since we've been together for a very long time and used to only see each other a couple days a week, where as now we are basically living together- you know...now you get the full picture sort of thing?
Anyway, Yay! Thanks for your help guys! :)