Recurring Twits

[Comp_geek]

Working at a place that sells and repairs computers (among many other things) I get to see a lot of people bring in their computers to be fixed (read: remove viruses, spyware, adware, etc.). We do have a few new customers each month, but then we also have the "dedicated customers" who bring in their computer monthly for us to rid of their latest "Hot Internet Girls will do you if you install this program."

I hereby dedicate this thread to the ones, the only, recurring twits. Be they customers or (as is mostly in my case) family/friends.


---------------------------------
My aunt is a steady source of income for me, every 3 months she brings me her computer to rid it of the latest spyware online. I don't know HOW she and my cousins find it but they do. It's the nasty kind too where you gotta follow like 20 steps. Luckily I've started charging :)

[Acolyte]

Yeah, we've got the people who don't mind shelling out $75 every month for us to run AVG, AdAware and CCleaner on their computers. And they always act really surprised when we tell them to stop visiting so many porn sites to reduce their spyware crap.

We've also got this guy who, without fail, will break a part in his computer every few months. First, he killed his modem by trying to ram a network cable into it. Then he rammed his new RAM into submission. Then he tried to jam a floppy cable into an IDE hard drive. And, worst of all, he killed a GeForce 7800 by putting in the power cable wrong. That one physically hurt me-$400 down the drain.
What's worse is, he refuses to let us do it, and keeps coming in!

[NightWolf]

he killed a GeForce 7800 by putting in the power cable wrong.

:cry:

NOOOO, that card could have done so much more for so many other people......

:cry:

I hate it when I see people with either:

A.) A machine better than mine, and know they will never ever have a need for all the bells and whistles.

B.) Someone who killed a good part in their computer because of their idiocy in either tinkering with it or carelessly installing something else near it.


Sigh....I still want to see a social services for computers.

"Sir, I'm sorry, but you've abused this computer for the last time! It's going to a good home where it will be well utilized and loved."

[RedHeadPhoneGirl]

Sigh....I still want to see a social services for computers.

"Sir, I'm sorry, but you've abused this computer for the last time! It's going to a good home where it will be well utilized and loved."

I totally agree. Example: My class has opened up a student support task force (don't ask, its the name my instructor gave us..... I dont even know why) with 6 students who will work on computers people bring us for free..... My boyfriend and I (partners in repair as well as crime :grin:) got a computer in that was, get this, TWO INCHES (no exaggeration here) thick in dust, over fan vents, over the motherboard, every component, and even had a rather thick layer UNDER the ZIF CPU on the socket itself, with a dust bunny in the center of the socket.... I almost cried as it was a newer computer, but you couldn't tell it.................. I didn't want to give it back. It took 3 people 4 hours to clean it and put it back together with only about four 5 minute breaks.

[Phone Jockey]

I had one guy the other night call & get me 4 x in a row over a 20 minute period. He wanted to know if his check had cleared each time. EACH TIME. It wasn't yet midnight & he didn't understand that nothing new would happen until AFTER midnight re: his check. Luckily, I leave at midnight & hopefully he didn't call to bother anyone else.

[Acolyte]

and even had a rather thick layer UNDER the ZIF CPU on the socket itself,

How the HELL do you get dirt there?!

[Comp_geek]

How the HELL do you get dirt there?!


It takes a special type of stupid. :D I had a computer a lady brought in once. I opened it up in front of her and the dust was caked on. A piece fell off and broke on the table so there was dust everywhere. It smelled like cigarettes too. Disgusting. Oh and this was a month after she had brought it in for a cleaning...I was thinking "What the hell lady? Do you use it outside in sandstorms?"

[NightWolf]

:headdesk:

It amazes me just how much dust some of the computers come into our office with. It's really a sad state. We've had to take so many of them outside just to blow them out they were soooo bad.

[HawaiianShirts]

I'm glad I'm not the only one with dust horror stories.

I saw a Gateway a few months ago that had more dust inside than computer parts. Forget dust bunnies--this thing had dust elephants. Little bits of dried ramen and dried crumbs from various foods were meshed in with the dog hair, and all of it embedded in thick clumps of dust. Canned air would have done nothing. We took it out back and used the air comressor in the car stereo installation bay to clean it out. And the owner wondered why his computer was overheating.

I shudder to think of the state his keyboard might be in. If it's anything like the tower, I'd consider it a miracle if half of the keys still worked properly.

I don't see many recurring twits. We try to educate them. But I have several recurring phone calls. More than once I've been accused of lying in telling the customer that the computers come with Windows XP (they confuse Windows with Office, of which there is only a 60-day trial). One guy last week just didn't get it and called me four times with the same accusation. And, no, I don't think he could have been senile at 22.

The ones that annoy me the most are those who make the same mistakes with a new computer that they did with the old. I can only hope to become immune to them before they cause me brain damage. These are the people who tell me they need a new computer because the old one got infected with viruses and they'd rather buy new than have it fixed. Then they tell me they're not going to bother getting security software (not just not get it from us but not get it at all) because it's too expensive and "too much hassle." Or those who come in for their third laptop in five years, replacing the old when a hard drive crashes instead of just getting the service contract that repairs crashed hard drives.

I like to learn from my mistakes so I don't make them more than once.

[Dreamstalker]

Besides my infamous twit, I've had:

--numerous people who didn't need my help because they had a friend who was really good with computers...we all know what comes of that.

--a classmate who wanted to install OfficeXP on a PII. How he even got WinXP on that thing was a miracle. Luckily, he was nice when I explained that to do that, he would need a newer computer (he needed a new one anyway).

--Jordan, every once in awhile. Last week, he tried to install Linux, would not listen to my directions (or RTFFAQ) and farked up everything that one can (how you can get a standard window manager to die horribly upon install is a mystery), and instead of trying to figure out what went wrong to fix it, he went back to XP because it was easy :banghead: Before that, he killed his CPU by using, instead of the expected thermal paste, scented candle wax and a piece of denim to make a ghetto phase-change pad. Let's see, a syringe of TIM is $5, new chip $200+...reason given for not buying real TIM was he couldn't afford it. he was told by dozens of people before he did this that it was a very, very bad idea.

[iridios]

At my last job, the computers often accumulated so much dust that it would start collecting on the outside of air vents, or any other opening in the case. We just started calling them "Bearded Ladies".

And the scary part? My last job was IT for a hospital!! Who would think that much dust is floating around in a hospital.

[Acolyte]

--a classmate who wanted to install OfficeXP on a PII. How he even got WinXP on that thing was a miracle. Luckily, he was nice when I explained that to do that, he would need a newer computer (he needed a new one anyway).

Well, in all technicallity, XP CAN run on a P233. In the same method that...I dunno, Paintbrush can create studio-quality animation.
Veeerrryyy slowly and painfully.

Anyways. One of the helpdesk guys has gotten the worst sort of recurring customer. He hooked him up with internet and, for the past two weeks, has gotten a call almost every day from him. He has NO concept of the internet-MSN is his homepage, and his 'usage' consists of him clicking links on said page. He'll call up every day and ramble on for 15 minutes about absolute crap-the internet wants me to pay more, the internet is wrong, the internet is too small, how do I make it bigger, ect, ect...
He left a 5-minute voicemail, too, along the same lines.
I'm SO glad I moved down to the service dept.

[protege]

Has anyone had to deal with someone who couldn't remove their computer's case? Not too long ago, I was helping my brother (who knows very little about the internals) install a new CD burner. As he was unbolting the case, I had to stop him before he unbolted the power supply (this particular case had the power supply bolted to the rear panel for some reason)....and it fell onto the motherboard :eek: Now *that* would have sucked--good thing I stopped him :rolleyes:

[Acolyte]

I've got worse-the people up here have issues getting inside their Dells.
(Which, if you didn't know, slide open when you push a two very clearly labeled tabs on the top and bottom)

Although I accidentally knocked a metal fan onto my video card when I packed up my computer to get shipped to my new house. Since I won't see it until August now, I hope it's still good...

[Twotall]

A co-worker of mine recently got one of the worst stories!

Just yesterday, he had a customer on the phone, her cable services were not functioning. So he starts running he through the genreal troubleshooting, starting with having her check the wiring to see if anything has been dislocated/loosened/cut/abducted by aliens. He tells her:

Tech: "OK, so we've checked the TV. Now, can you see the wall outlet?"
Woman: "No, I don't know where it is".
Tech: "It's the black box on your wall where the TV is plugged in."
Woman: "No, I don't know where it is."
Tech: :confused: "OK, can you see where the cable is plugged into your TV? Just follow this, and you will get to the outlet"
Woman: "How do I do that?"

The poor guy just wandered over to my desk, with a stunned expression on his face and asked for help on how to dumb that down... I couldn't give him any.

[LostMyMind]

--a classmate who wanted to install OfficeXP on a PII. How he even got WinXP on that thing was a miracle. Luckily, he was nice when I explained that to do that, he would need a newer computer (he needed a new one anyway).
:lol: that brings back memories.

Back in the day, when I did stuff just to prove I could do it. I manage to get Win95 installed and running on a 286 with only 64K of memory (that is not a mistype K not M). Had to do a complete manual install since the install wouldn't run with that amount of memory. Of course after I pulled it off, I promptly removed it and put DOS 3.2 back on it. Couldn't quite pulled it off on an 8086.

That reminds me, I still got my PentII. :devil:

[Tejas]

one of my flatmates completely borked her system so bad i had to reinstall windows.. and than 24 hours later she had borked the system so bad i had to reinstall windows. she completely killed a windows installation within 24 hours.. than proceeded to laugh when i had to do the 2nd install. she didn't laugh when i gave her my bill. i don't normally charge but this was an exceptional circumstance.

[Cutenoob]

Tejas, I'd have charged her twice!

I had a guy call me up and say "Teh computers' sbeen in the closet for 2 years and I want to use it again, but I forgot the Admin password."

I told him ...Have you tried typing any pw's in?

"No no no I just want someone to do it."

Guy brings box over, I plug it in, starts up...
XP Pro w/ network login Administrator.

Guess what I did?

Typed *password* and hit enter.
Started right up.

Turned and looked @ the guy, and said, well, there you go. $75 for 5 min of work.

But while he was going to get the $ I updated his anti virus (2 years!) cleaned his spyware and killed about 6 trojans.

Damn, I wish the jobs I did were that easy.

Cute

[sbandliz]

Snake in computer
http://lios.apana.org.au/%7Ecraig/humour/snaketales.html

I first saw this in University of Queensland's website back in Feb 2003.

[Tria]

Snake in computer
http://lios.apana.org.au/%7Ecraig/humour/snaketales.html

I first saw this in University of Queensland's website back in Feb 2003.

Aw.... Poor snaky....

[Dreamstalker]

Poor little thing...

How did it get inside the PSU?!

[Mr. Rude]

OK. Time to play "identify that comp". :devil:

Looks like a P2 to me. :D

[HawaiianShirts]

I hate it when I see people with either:

A.) A machine better than mine, and know they will never ever have a need for all the bells and whistles.

B.) Someone who killed a good part in their computer because of their idiocy in either tinkering with it or carelessly installing something else near it.

Sigh....I still want to see a social services for computers.

"Sir, I'm sorry, but you've abused this computer for the last time! It's going to a good home where it will be well utilized and loved."

That was me yesterday. I, fortunately, was working with a back-to-school-laptop-shopping mother and daughter, so I only had to overhear and watch, but...

Ramblin' Man came back. I posted about him before the last rebuild of this site. His conversational topics wander to all kinds of weird places, usually without much of a pattern or connecting thread. Much of his talk, however, has to do with how technologically smart he is when compared to others, especially his parents (whom he still lives with at age 40).

This time, Ramblin' Man brought his mom. Mom was going to pay for the new computer RM thought they needed. My co-worker, DD, helped them. I felt sympathy, but I'm glad it wasn't me. RM kept sending DD to the register for a price quote (mock transaction which generates a real-looking receipt but doesn't affect store sale records) EVERY SINGLE TIME he added something to or took something away from his cart. He wanted the most expensive desktop system, which, ironically, is not our best system, and he would not be disuaded. So DD added upgrades (graphic cards and the like) to get this computer up to RM's needs, having to explain all the while why each different feature and/or upgrade was necessary to make the computer do what RM wanted it to do. Of course, in the midst of this, RM has to tell DD all about his mom's new car, his ex-girlfriend, and his collection of Babylon-5 and Battlestar Gallactica DVDs.

He finally got rung out, blowing over $2000 when he could have spent around $1400 for something else that would work just as well, if not better. He claimed he did not need the service contract because he knew how to fix everything that could possibly go wrong with a computer. He declined security software because he claimed he could remove viruses on his own and that he was "immune to spyware," even though he has told us of his hobby of downloading videos and music off LimeWire. He insisted on installing the upgrades on his own. It's going to be a disaster. He knows just enough to be dangerous but doesn't yet know he's dangerous.

I pity the techs who will have to try to help him when problems arise.

At least he's friendly in his annoying sort of way.

[repsac]

guilty as charged. Well, not a recurring twit, but I have put some strange things in cases and not told the techs.

My most recent mistake, was failing to inform the tech that my system used a rather cool closed cooling circuit. Complete with liquid bath and radiator to keep it super cool. Now, the whole case isn't full of non conductive liquid, but around the mother board there's a series of pump hoses and what not which lead back into the radiator.

The problem was, when I took the system in for regular maintence, I had to use a new company and kinda forgot to tell the tech what was in there. Also, forgot to tell him that it's slippery, stains clothing, and really needs drained before getting into the inner workings of the system.

I think, they charged me extra for carpet cleaning.

[CrazedClerk]

It's sad that techs who are more trained and earn more money than a regular store clerk have to have their valuable time wasted by idiots.

When I was in college I worked at the campus computer store. Since I answered the main phone, I had the "privelege" of having to deal with all the twits before passing them on to the tech.

I had this one woman call and ask me if I might have any idea why she couldn't install this program she just bought on her computer. This was in fall 2004. So the conversation went like this:

Me: Ok, ma'am what operating system are you running?"

Twit: "Windows 95"

I put my hand against my head and roll my eyes...

Me: "Ok ma'am I think i may know what your problem is..."

[technical.angel]

Has anyone had to deal with someone who couldn't remove their computer's case?

No, but I had a case 3(??) years ago, that I could not figure out how to open. I could NOT get it open.

What I had to do was get the model and stuff from the PC, and pass it to another tech that had the time to look up how to open the case. Actually, I think he failed, and the HD manager had to go down and get it.

All to get a network card installed.

Jenni :angel:

[Dreamstalker]

I despise Dell cases. I had one last week where I could not get it open and had to have the user help...the side panel slid out and off, but you had to slide a latch on the back to one side while pressing down on the outer corners of the cover. Latch was in such a location that it was impossible to manipulate the latch and cover at the same moment...which of course you had to do to get the damn thing off.

Finally I had him assist with a flathead screwdriver in the opposite cover edge prying up while I held the latch and slid the panel out. That worked (go figure).

[RichS]

I despise Dell cases..

I know what you mean...especially if it's the first time the case has been opened. I usually have to hold down the lever with one hand while gently prying the side open with a screwdriver with the other. I like the clamshell ones a whole lot better.

A difficult one for me was from an old Pentium - based Packard Bell - definitely, the company wanted to show that they were clearly meant not to be opened. :rolleyes:

[Tanasi]

I have a case that it took me about 30 minutes to get it open. You had to remove the from basel and the side panel screws were behind it. Ultimately I liked the case but at first I hated it.

[protege]

I don't know why some cases are difficult to open. It's like they don't want people upgrading their stuff :rolleyes:

The only Dell case I had a problem with, was the one on my first new 'puter, back in 1993. Apparently, someone at the factory misaligned one of the bolt holes...which caused the bolt to strip itself. Getting that off was a pain.

Another favorite was the (now-scrapped) Compaq case. This thing was a one-piece cover...that *never* fit properly after I'd removed it the first time. To get the case back on, you had to hold all 3 sides against the chassis, and slide it on. More often than not, the damn thing wouldn't fit!

My favorite (no sarcasm here) case is the one I have now. This one doesn't use any bolts. All of the panels attach with clips. It's a simple matter to remove the side panels--just push the clips in, and off it pops.

[Dreamstalker]

Of course the OEMs don't want that; when people find out that almost everything is standard they won't pay through the nose for parts.

I like the current Compaq cases; fairly easy to open (although not as easy as mine--just remove the thumbscrews, flip up the latch on the face and away you go).

The old 286 cases...now those are a pain (before I moved back here, I was halfway through gutting one for a project).

[LostMyMind]

ha ha, the 286/386 compaq cases. Woot what a memory, the only case that was permanently "unscrewed". But I will say this, those old compaq cases were almost indestructible. Steel frames, some even had steel sheets and not tin like most others did. Weight more than the monitors which was quite a feat considering in those days monitors weren't lightweight either.

[repsac]

I've got an HP case that's a royal pain to work in. Oh sure, it's easy to get off, but only one side of the thing comes off. There's two huge thumb screws in the back that you loosen, then grip a built in handle and pull back. The whole side just slides away in one big piece.

Sure, it sounds nice, but when you look in there and realise that there's no earthly way you're going to reach some of the inner workings of the thing you come to realise that HP engineers are sadists.

[LostMyMind]

.....HP engineers are sadists.
:lol: They learned from the best, Compaq.

[technical.angel]

I don't know. If you look inside a Pavilion.....

You have to dismantle the entire PC to add RAM, because the structural supports for the power supply lies directly above half of the stick slots.

Jenni :angel:

[LostMyMind]

I've had both Compaq and HP the same way. HP more often once they took over Compaq.

[Banrion]

I don't know. If you look inside a Pavilion.....

You have to dismantle the entire PC to add RAM, because the structural supports for the power supply lies directly above half of the stick slots.

Jenni :angel:

Must only be the newer pavillions. I got an HP Pavillion in 1999, and I can't count how many times the RAM has been switched in and out of that machine. We have 5 computers for the 4 people in the house, and the HP is the easiest, reliable machine to test RAM in.

[technical.angel]

Or maybe newer... my Pavilion was purchased in 2000.

Jenni :angel:

[protege]

Has anyone ever worked on a DEC (Digital Equipment Corp) machine? We had one at work, and it was a POS. The motherboard in that thing was 18" square...and was in two halvest that plugged into each other. I'm still trying to figure out why their engineers thought that was a good idea :rolleyes:

[LostMyMind]

Everything is a good idea to an engineer.

[Tanasi]

Has anyone ever worked on a DEC (Digital Equipment Corp) machine? We had one at work, and it was a POS. The motherboard in that thing was 18" square...and was in two halvest that plugged into each other. I'm still trying to figure out why their engineers thought that was a good idea :rolleyes:

It uses a serpentine back-plane. Considering those 11/73s had a max of 2 meg of memory and operated on about 10mhz they were great machine. We continued to use them until the late 90s and we only quit because we couldn't get replacement parts or repairs. Our ran on TSX and we used COBOL for a programming language. They weren't fast but it was hard to knock one down.