brides that make my head hurt

[workerbee222]

My productivity was likely trashed yesterday by a bride who has to micro-manage everyone within earshot.

I pin the Mother-of-bride dress. There is great angst, because husband of said MOB doesn't like his wife's cleavage displayed. Bride has chosen for her mother a low-cut dress with tiny spaghetti straps. I shorten the straps, covering the cleavage by a couple millimeters.

I pin part of her hem, I ask if it's okay. MOB says yes. So I pin the rest of it. Then she looks at the bridesmaid, whose hem is 1/4" longer. She asks bride if hers should be longer, too. Bride says yes, so the whole dress is unpinned and re-pinned. Additional 30 minutes.

MOB takes the dress off, and the tiny straps have dug into her shoulders. Frankly, it does look painful. Bride and MOB berate me for twenty minutes about how I should fix this. Well, I can loosen the straps, but then her cleavage shows more. MOB can wear a bra, thus taking some of the work of supporting her cleavage off her shoulders, but she doesn't want to wear one. This takes another thirty minutes. They are not happy with my lack of magic.

Bride then berates me for making her life difficult because the appointments aren't convenient for her (she has decided that she must be present for every fitting of every member of her party, and present for the final, pick-up appointments as well) I make an exception for her, hoping to appease her. Another fifteen minutes.

Then she and her mother and sister gripe about how the alterations prices are outrageous. Quietly standing there, while they insult my profession, maybe seven minutes.

We have to record whatever tasks we did that day, and keep track of our productivity. A fitting that is supposed to take 30 minutes took me more than an hour and fifty minutes.

[Aethian]

See this is when I love that I can trust my Mother to find something tasteful. Now I just need to find a tasteful man, fall in love, and want to get married to said man.

[GingerBiscuit]

I am glad I am having a very unconventional wedding.

No-one will have to put up with any bridezillaness apart from me!

[MoxisPilot]

I'm glad I eloped. :p

[bainsidhe]

While they're griping about the cost of alterations, I hope you are paid hourly and not per fitting. That way you earn every darn cent. :devil:

[BookstoreEscapee]

MOB takes the dress off, and the tiny straps have dug into her shoulders. Frankly, it does look painful. Bride and MOB berate me for twenty minutes about how I should fix this. Well, I can loosen the straps, but then her cleavage shows more. MOB can wear a bra, thus taking some of the work of supporting her cleavage off her shoulders, but she doesn't want to wear one. This takes another thirty minutes. They are not happy with my lack of magic.


Or, you could add some more substantial straps so the dress can support her properly. Honestly, I couldn't imagine putting my mother in a spaghetti-strap dress. Actually, I couldn't imagine "putting" my mother in any dress. If/when I ever get married, I'll trust her to choose her own dress (though we'd probably go shopping together, anyway, but she'd get whatever she's comfortable in.)

When I was a bridesmaid for one of my college roommates, her mother emailed us all to get our dress sizes, then she ordered all the dresses and had them sent to us. She told us where the hem should hit (honestly, is 1/4 inch really that noticeable?), and I took it to a local tailor and had it altered to fit me. $120 for the dress, $45 for alterations, done. Oh, and our shoes were $7 from Payless. :D

[Tireana Dorcha]

There are many serious issues with this family. That poor husband to be... I mean, firstly, I would think the mother would be fully capable in dressing herself. I realize I'm a fairly non-traditional bride, but shouldn't the mother pick out her own outfit?? If you really are that concerned, just give her the color you'd prefer her in...oy. And the mother just feeds into it by asking her daughter's approval.

Secondly, what's the father's issue with clevage? I highly doubt that the said exposed cleavage was anything indecent. I understand being conservative, but like before, shouldn't it be up to the person wearing said item be allowed to make her own decision? And, if exposed clevage is so abhored, why is it okay she's flouncing around without a bra?

It's just...just....arrrrrghhhhblarglesparf

[BookstoreEscapee]

Secondly, what's the father's issue with clevage? I highly doubt that the said exposed cleavage was anything indecent. I understand being conservative, but like before, shouldn't it be up to the person wearing said item be allowed to make her own decision? And, if exposed clevage is so abhored, why is it okay she's flouncing around without a bra?

It's just...just....arrrrrghhhhblarglesparf


Good point...if you're worried about showing too much, I would think a spaghetti-strap dress would not be your choice in the first place. And yeah, I don't think my dad would have much to say about what my mother could/should or could/should not wear. She'd buy the dress and then show it to him and say "Look what I'm wearing." And he'd go "Nice" and that would be the end of that. (My dad's not a big talker :p)

One of my friends had her dad perform the ceremony (he's a minister). Normally he would wear a white robe, but she said "I'm not having my dad walk me down the aisle in a white dress!" She also wanted both dads to wear a tux but the clerical collar doesn't work with a tuxedo shirt. She had an easier time dressing her mom.

[workerbee222]

Or, you could add some more substantial straps so the dress can support her properly.

MOB is wearing the same dress as BM, but in a different color. It has to be exactly the same.

I don't know why a woman who was knowledgeable enough to raise a child to marrying age is taking fashion advice from someone who believes "you can never wear too much metallic green eyeshadow."

[BookstoreEscapee]

MOB is wearing the same dress as BM, but in a different color. It has to be exactly the same.

Of course...anything else would ruin the entire day! Silly me. I'm one of those oddballs who would just pick a color and let each person choose the dress they feel most comfortable in.

My friend had her bridesmaids in long satin skirts in a dark periwinkle color, and simple v-neck cashmere sweaters in a lighter shade (perfect for an outdoor September wedding on the water in Rhode Island). The skirts were made by a seamstress (a friend or church member, I think, who did it cheap), the sweaters were part of their bridesmaid gift and something they can actually wear for a long time.

[ottid]

Yea, a tip for young brides. Do not assume that your bridesmaids know what they are going to have to spend money on. Give them time and an approximate cost (if clothing is being made for them) so that they can budget it into their spending.

I think my friends mum may have gone slightly crazy when organising my friends wedding. Engaged at the start of first year at Uni, married at the start of the 2nd year. 2 of the three bridesmaids are still in education, meaning VERY limited budgets. We were not told much about anything, we weren't allowed to do anything to help. The best we did was give the bride some down time away from her mum and her craziness. I do recall that her mum may have said something about not taking over her daughters wedding because that was what her mum had done to her, but that could just have been a figment of my imagination.

OP: Atleast the Bride knew what she wanted, but she could have come to an agreement/compromise to sort out what the MOB was going to wear...

[raw456]

It amazes me the level of anal retentivness brides go to when the day itself goes so quick and the only thing the bride is (or should be) focusing on is the groom.

I got married 4 months ago, my bridesmaid didnt have her outfit till 2 weeks before the wedding. Yes I admit I was slightly panicked, but it all turned out good. On the day, the only thing I noticed was my husband.

"Bridezillas" really annoy me, because they are only concerned with the superficial trappings of the wedding rather than what a marriage should be about. I always feel sorry for the grooms of these women

[Bright_Star]

I'm glad I eloped. :p



When you elope, that's when you get married by a JP, right?

[crashhelmet]

My wedding is going to be in wet suits with the formal accessories, standing out in the water of the Pacific Ocean. Now I just have to find a bride that will go along with that idea :p

getting back to the OP tho, I know brides can be real bitchy/whiny/uber-control freaks when it comes to their weddings, but this one is going a little bit too far.

CH

[Andara Bledin]

I am glad I am having a very unconventional wedding.
Huzzah for unconventional weddings!

Mine was a masquerade wedding. The only rule was that you had to have a mask (we even provided them for people who didn't bring their own). Oh, and one of the grooms was a woman. :D

Bridezillas annoy the hell out of me because the husband is usually completely irrelevant to their plans. They just want a huge fairy-tale wedding. I really feel sorry for some of those grooms.

^-.-^

[bammertheblue]

I'm one of those oddballs who would just pick a color and let each person choose the dress they feel most comfortable in.



That's what one of my friends did for her wedding. She had 5 bridesmaids, all very different heights, builds, coloring, etc. No one dress was going to flatter all of them. So they all wore dresses of a similar shade of dark blue, in whatever style they wanted. Everyone got to wear something that they looked and felt good in, while still matching and looking nice. :)

[auntiem]

My wedding is going to be in wet suits with the formal accessories, standing out in the water of the Pacific Ocean. Now I just have to find a bride that will go along with that idea :p



If my SO had his way we'd get married in wet suits under water with the bridal party snorkeling above I assume.

As for the OP - it always amazes me how much non-sewers complain about the cost of alterations. I think it is because people who know what they are doing make it look easy. I can sew, but am lousy on putting in zippers - zippers are my downfall so if I'm making a nice garment I finish it up to zipper instalation then pay whatever the seamstress asks for them to put it in right.

Not knowing what cup size the lady is, but spagetti straps would be hard pressed to do the job of supporting my "girls" - I doubt they'd last thru the ceremony and I doubt any bride wants her Mother having a "wardrobe malfunction" at her wedding.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I'd just let my Mum wear what she liked; for one thing, my mother has her own style and I have mine. No way would she let me pick out a dress for her. :lol: I want a red dress that I can wear again; no white puffball for me, no way. o_O

[wagegoth]

When you elope, that's when you get married by a JP, right?

It just means that the bride and groom went off on their own and got married. They might take a friend or two along.

My husband and I eloped to Reno, Nevada, because what was supposed to be a tiny, backyard wedding was being taken over by his grandmother and mother. One night, as we were discussing some of the issues, he suddenly said, "Let's go to Reno." We got a hotel room with a discount when we told them we were coming up to get married, and they let us check in early. My sister drove over from Fallon and helped me fix my hair, then we had a little get-together in Fallon. My cousin bought a cake from the local bakery. We had a lot more fun than if we'd had the wedding that was being planned for us.

We were married by a minister at a chapel across the street from Reno City Hall.

[laundryhater]

Yeah 'cause nothing says "classy wedding" like a braless MOB - NOT!

[AriRashkae]

My husband and I eloped to Reno, Nevada, because what was supposed to be a tiny, backyard wedding was being taken over by his grandmother and mother. One night, as we were discussing some of the issues, he suddenly said, "Let's go to Reno."

We were married by a minister at a chapel across the street from Reno City Hall.

I gotta know: how'd MIL and GIL take this? :angel:

[MadMike]

Huzzah for unconventional weddings!



You would have loved my friends' wedding. They combined it with their Halloween party, and they and all the guests were in costumes. The guy who married them was a close friend of theirs who took an online course to become a minister, just so he could marry them, and dressed as a bright red demon. I'm not sure what the bride and groom were supposed to be, but they looked kind of like a vampire couple. If I ever become single, I'm never getting married again, but if I would I would probably do it like that. We had a blast!

My husband and I eloped to Reno, Nevada, because what was supposed to be a tiny, backyard wedding was being taken over by his grandmother and mother.

I can only imagine how stressful that must have been. My family was helpful but not at all pushy, we kept it simple and fairly small (invited roughly 100, about 50 came), and we were still stressed to the poinw here we (somewhat) jokingly kept saying "Fuck this! Let's just elope!"

[Cia]

I told my mom and MIL what my wedding colors were and they picked out their own outfits. My dad offered to wear his Navy dress whites but since my hubby, the best man and the groomsman were all wearing their Army Class Bs (green) and not their Class As (dark blue) I opted for dad to wear a black suit.

[Andara Bledin]

You would have loved my friends' wedding. They combined it with their Halloween party, and they and all the guests were in costumes. The guy who married them was a close friend of theirs who took an online course to become a minister, just so he could marry them, and dressed as a bright red demon. I'm not sure what the bride and groom were supposed to be, but they looked kind of like a vampire couple. If I ever become single, I'm never getting married again, but if I would I would probably do it like that. We had a blast!
Well, my first wedding was on Halloween. :D

The groom was in his full faire kit, as was our guild mistress, who also officiated. My brother and his girlfriend were both in matching faceless jester outfits, and my aunt was in a different sort of jester outfit, as she considered marriage a joke (hers went very sour at the end). The in-laws were in fancy old west duds, and my mother was all in black, with a really huge hat with a veil, as if in mourning.

^-.-^

[lordlundar]

When you elope, that's when you get married by a JP, right?

Not quite. It's basically you, your future SO, two witnesses and a licensed minister.:D

[tropicsgoddess]

I'm not gonna micromanage my bridal party let alone put out any bridezilla type behavior when I get married, I detest bridezillas. I don't care as long as the MOB outfits are tasteful (and I know that both mothers-mine and SO's we can trust to pick something out that's nice) and that my bridesmaids dresses are the same color and fits them. As for the men's outfits, I'll let SO deal with that. Thank GAWD he has good taste in clothes!!!

[iradney]

So glad I'm only going to have one bridesmaid :D
TTO and I have already discussed what we'd like our wedding to be like (no, he hasn't proposed yet), and we're surprisingly compatible!

I take my hat off to dressmakers everywhere. Not only do you have to deal with people with unreasonable demands, I'm sure you encounter people with...hygiene issues as well.... *blegh*

[Calie]

That's what one of my friends did for her wedding. She had 5 bridesmaids, all very different heights, builds, coloring, etc. No one dress was going to flatter all of them. So they all wore dresses of a similar shade of dark blue, in whatever style they wanted. Everyone got to wear something that they looked and felt good in, while still matching and looking nice. :)

I had the same - 5 bridesmaids of remarkably different heights and shape. I picked the color and length and told them to have fun.

As for the OP, I feel sorry for the mom. It sounds like she's controlled by everyone there. Though she could do herself a favor and wear a bra...
I let my mother and future mother-in-law choose their own clothes, so much easier that way. Though my mom kept calling and asking for advice and sending pics from her cellphone...I eventually told her to go ask my sister for help.

[Megg]

If I ever become single, I'm never getting married again, but if I would I would probably do it like that.

There's always a renewal of vows or something. :D

Bridezillas freak me out. I hate it that they are so focused on appearances and not on what is important. That poor mother. Well, she likely did it to herself, she's the one that taught the girl, after all. Double suck, how fun!

[wagegoth]

I gotta know: how'd MIL and GIL take this? :angel:

MIL keeps bringing up the fact that my husband's father attended with his wife, but they live in Reno. My husband called them just as we were heading to the chapel and they showed up in the clothes they had on. They left right after the ceremony to go to work.

GIL passed away about three years later, but she got to see her first great-grandchild, so I think that took care of the disappointment.

[FenigDurak]

I differed a bit. I've chosen colors based on what my Mother is going to wear. I asked her to wear the blue taffeta dress she got married to my Step Father in. So she's already squared away.

[BookstoreEscapee]

It amazes me the level of anal retentivness brides go to when the day itself goes so quick and the only thing the bride is (or should be) focusing on is the groom.

I gotta say, though I am currently single and have never been engaged or anything, I've never really pictured my wedding day when I've thought about getting married. I've picture myself married, but not really so much getting married. I have only a vague idea of what kind of dress I'd want, I don't know what colors I would have (probably blue, but who knows), where I want it, etc. I could give you a rough idea of my side of the guest list but that's about it.

One of my friends (she of the minister-father) chose separates for her bridesmaids. They all had the same skirt, and there were several styles of top to go with it, and each bridesmaid chose the one they liked best and felt most comfortable in. So everyone from the tiny sister-in-law to the well-endowed college roomie was happy.

[Red Hand of Ulster]

My friend had her bridesmaids in long satin skirts in a dark periwinkle color, and simple v-neck cashmere sweaters in a lighter shade (perfect for an outdoor September wedding on the water in Rhode Island). The skirts were made by a seamstress (a friend or church member, I think, who did it cheap), the sweaters were part of their bridesmaid gift and something they can actually wear for a long time.

A former friend of mine did something similar. The ceremony was at the end of December outside in southern New Mexico. The bodice of her dress was crushed white velvet. Our dresses were all crushed velvet, but in various jewel tones and styles. She wanted us to be able to get dresses that we could wear again. I still have mine and wear it.

When you elope, that's when you get married by a JP, right?

Not quite. It's basically you, your future SO, two witnesses and a licensed minister.:D

Or a judge. That's who my parents were married by.

I gotta say, though I am currently single and have never been engaged or anything, I've never really pictured my wedding day when I've thought about getting married. I've picture myself married, but not really so much getting married. I have only a vague idea of what kind of dress I'd want, I don't know what colors I would have (probably blue, but who knows), where I want it, etc. I could give you a rough idea of my side of the guest list but that's about it.

Same here. All I can really tell you is that the men will be wearing kilts. Maybe Spirit of Scotland (since it's a purple and I love purple) and Black Isle (black on black) tartans? Maybe I'll use his clan? Maybe mine? Maybe we'll just take off for Grenta Green and hang it all. But first, I gotta find my Scotsman! :p

[PepperElf]

dayum. and when i get married i was just expecting Mom to pick out her own pants-suit outfit

hell after hearing about the girls and the prom dress story, i'm half tempted to have everyone just wear disney princess dresses ... :)

[Megg]

I've picture myself married, but not really so much getting married.

And this is why, when you find the right one, you will have a long, happy marriage. It's the most important thing, and all too many forget that.

[lordlundar]

Or a judge. That's who my parents were married by.

Judges are licensed ministers.:p

[Red Hand of Ulster]

Judges are licensed ministers.:p

Huh? Everything I can find about them says that they're judges, may or may not be lawyers, and are part of the court system. Nowhere does it say that they have to be ministers. In fact, that's why my parents wound up going to the JP. The Methodist minister wanted them to go to counseling for 6 months "to make sure". This after they had been dating for 6 years.

In fact, what I found for my city says that without a justice of the peace or minister officiating that the marriage isn't legal.

[workerbee222]

Karma came around and rewarded me for being polite to those people.

This evening, a young woman and her consort walked into the store and puchased a discontinued, discounted dress. It a\has a train. They are flying to Las Vegas tomorrow. Could we bustle the dress with safety pins? Not only that, but we could leave three pins attached to the lining, three to the dress, so all Hubby-to-be has to do is hook the safety pins together.

She was grateful. I felt fulfilled.

[Anriana]

Interesting that there is a general consensus that it is wrong for the husband to weigh in on the wife's cleavage but fine for people who have never met the wife to weigh in on what underwear she needs to wear.

Visible bras are tacky and strapless bras don't do much. Spaghetti straps without built-in bras suck.

[AlmightyALT]

I want to have a Ren Faire wedding at my home faire and my mother can purse her lips and glare and deal with it! I already have several friends to choose from who could make my dress.

My mom had two church weddings and both marriages ended badly. For her third marriage to my dad they eloped to Lake Tahoe and it's been nearly 30 years. I don't know if she was a bridezilla though. Technically we don't know about marriage number two. But one of her childhood friends got drunk one night and blabbed to my little sister.

[workerbee222]

Interesting that there is a general consensus that it is wrong for the husband to weigh in on the wife's cleavage but fine for people who have never met the wife to weigh in on what underwear she needs to wear.

Visible bras are tacky and strapless bras don't do much. Spaghetti straps without built-in bras suck.

I don't care if she wears a bra or not. A long line strapless bra would indeed hold her up. I didn't mean to imply that she "needs" one, but that a good foundation garment would hold up the girls, thus making the straps and dress more comfortable. It won't make the dress cover more of her, though.

[candyshopgirl]

God I would have never had my mom wear a spagetti strap dress to my wedding.Dad would be touching and rubbing her all day:puke:And probadly singing "my humps" again to her like he did on the way to the casino. Again:puke:
Old people sex...

Anyways I have never understood the bridezilla crap.The best and most memoriable parts of my wedding were the mistakes.Like dad stepping on my veil and knocking me down or when the best man threw the wedding rings in the garbage can with a used kleenex. Yes this is how my life is.

[Dasota]

My best friend with be in a Tux and standing on my side and my "Best Man" and the groom will be in a Kilt. ^_^ No idea what kinda dress I want, but it won't be traditional. Hell I might wear a kilt myself. :D

[AccountingDrone]

When you elope, that's when you get married by a JP, right?

pretty much - mrDrone and I used a JP that we picked out of the listing at town hall.

I agree, I pity the poor grooms of the bridezillas ... I play wedding enforcer for my friends when they get married [sort of my bridal gift to the couple, I make sure that all the details are followed and everything happens smoothly. Im good at it, and I can work with just about any professional wedding planner I have met so far - even the really annoying guy who insisted on keeping a teacup poodle in a 'manbag' with himself no matter what.]

It seems to me that the bridezillas end up divorced at a much higher rate than regular brides ... my brother married a bridezilla the first time around and she divorced him 9 months later.

[Andara Bledin]

It seems to me that the bridezillas end up divorced at a much higher rate than regular brides ... my brother married a bridezilla the first time around and she divorced him 9 months later.
That wouldn't surprise me in the least.

They're only interested in that fairy tale wedding; they don't actually want to be married.

^-.-^

[AccountingDrone]

That wouldn't surprise me in the least.

They're only interested in that fairy tale wedding; they don't actually want to be married.

^-.-^

Actually, that sounds like the perfect descriptions .... me? I love being married and hated the idea of arranging a wedding which is why we went to the justice of the peace.

[Jester]

I would be the groom, so my opinion doesn't really matter (:lol:), but I do have a few things I demand at my wedding.

1. The bride's hair will be DOWN, not up. (Yes, I am serious.)
2. The wedding should be outside.
3. She can't have a problem with my best man choice (see below).
4. She can't be a bridezilla!

I don't think that is too much to ask of any woman. Do you?

My wedding is going to be in wet suits with the formal accessories, standing out in the water of the Pacific Ocean. Now I just have to find a bride that will go along with that idea.

I once dated a dive instructor. I would not be surprised if someone like her WOULD go along with that idea, since she spends so much time in the water anyways!

Mine was a masquerade wedding. The only rule was that you had to have a mask (we even provided them for people who didn't bring their own).

All I can really tell you is that the men will be wearing kilts.

My friends' wedding back in 2005 did both of these. We all wore masks, and the groomsmen wore kilts. The bride and groom tried to convince me to wear a kilt as well, but I was having none of it. :lol:

Oh, and one of the grooms was a woman.

I do think you mean grooomsmen, as grooms are the guys getting married!

That being said, whoever and whenever I marry, I already know that my "best man" is going to be a woman, my best friend Neets. She said as long as she can wear a dress, she is fine with that! :lol:

Speaking of which, my little sister's husband's best man was also a woman, the friend that introduced my sister to him!

I want a red dress that I can wear again; no white puffball for me, no way.

My little sister that I mentioned above got married in a simple and elegant red dress.

My brother and his girlfriend were both in matching faceless jester outfits, and my aunt was in a different sort of jester outfit, as she considered marriage a joke (hers went very sour at the end).

I APPROVE OF THIS WARDROBE! http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy013.gif

[LadyAndreca]

My wedding dress could have been a fiasco, but I went into it with a "well, aren't I an idiot for waiting so long" attitude about it and had a lot of fun. The first dress I picked was beautiful, but I got a call a week later that was pretty much 'please don't be upset, we can't get your dress in time for your wedding, come in this week and we'll help you find another'. I was disappointed, but it was just a dress I was going to wear once.

I went in alone on a snowy Tuesday morning to a DEAD store and three bored saleswomen. I had their total attention for nearly two hours before a second woman came in, and I tried on dresses and shoes and jewelry (and compared the merits of my kender ranger to one girl's half-elven druid for half an hour) and had way more fun than I thought it would be. I wound up buying the jewelry there too just because I'd had so much fun.

For the other dresses I just bought the cloth patches from the store and sent them to people. Sis, this is the color you're wearing. You ARE allowed to wear a tux. (She didn't though.) Mom, this is what Sis is wearing. MIL, this is what my sis is wearing...uh... *calls Mom* Mom, MIL wants to know what color you're wearing...

Getting the mothers to just buy their dresses and stop insisting the other needed to go first so their dresses would coordinate was the hardest part. :lol:

[depechemodefan]

I want to play "Black Celebration" at my wedding.

[CaroPhoenix]

My wedding colors were purple and green. Men wore the purple, the bridesmaids wore the green. (One of my bridesmaids was pregnant & if she wore purple, she'd look like an eggplant).

My mother wore the same mauve dress she wore to my sister's wedding. I asked her specifically to keep it and wear it to my wedding. She did wear it, like I requested. I thought she looked beautiful!

[Sliceanddice]

if i ever get married i have a few ideas but nothing that can be altered, i only have polans because i was once engaged.
either simple dress (one my mother would like) someplace cool and green with like 20 people max or dressed as the beast from Rose and Thorn and have a fairytale theme wedding with people in costumes buecause its a gay wedding might as well have fun

[Andara Bledin]

Sis, this is the color you're wearing. You ARE allowed to wear a tux. (She didn't though.)
This reminds me; my one female cousin is going to be married in some sort of pants suit. I don't think she's had anything to do with a dress or skirt since she was a very young girl.

^-.-^