Wish Corruption! (Game thread)

[Magpie]

Granted! You also get a corruption-free wish, because any way of corrupting this will just make you more anxious IRL, which isn't cool.

I wish I had remembered to soak the beans last night so we had something interesting for dinner tonight.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but you soaked them in rum. hope that's interesting enough for ya

i wish i find a job easily enough when i get back to idaho

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. But the company went out of business the day before you start.

I wish I could be relaxing on the beach watching the porpoises with a cool drink and some good music to listen to.

[Magpie]

Granted! Hope you aren't too traumatized by those porpoises mugging you. (Seriously, they're vicious).

I wish I was able to stand so I could go and volunteer to sort at the thrift store tonight.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but they have you sort through a pile of clothes that someone dropped of. and it smells...of wrongitude

i wish my wrist stops hurting

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You have CIPA (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Congenital_insensitivity_to_pain_with_anhidrosis)

I wish for an awesome summer and many adventures with my older brother and his ferret, Tao.

I know your school is small, but is there actually going to be anyone who still knows him that you know?

What's the Profs name?

[dalesys]

I wish for an awesome summer and many adventures with my older brother and his ferret, Tao...
Granted!
You discover that your brother & ferret are really Riff & Kiki (Sluggy Freelance (http://www.sluggy.com/)) and spend the summer in the Dimension of Pain!

I wish it doesn't snow here tonight.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Wish granted! Instead it rains and your house gets flooded.

I wish it wouldn't rain here. XD

[hinakiba777]

Granted! There is mass flooding caused by an underground lake exploding.

I wish I had an iPhone.

[Plaidman]

Granted! You have a phone in the shape of an eye. It has no features. Can't even call out of city. But it is an eyephone...


I wish I had someone that loved me. Outside family.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! Too bad she looks like Jabba Gardulla the Hutt (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hutt_%28Star_Wars%29#Gardulla_the_Hutt)! :p

I wish I could just rid myself of my emotions for good. They don't do me any good anymore. :blink:

[Magpie]

Granted! I think that is enough suffering in and of itself

I wish my apartment was clean, with all the dishes done.

What's the Profs name?

Collins, mech eng. Although I'm not worried that I've put you on the wrong coast.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! I think that is enough suffering in and of itselfIf by that, you mean that I've already been through enough suffering in my life, then yes, yes you are correct. I WANT my emotions gone, I WANT to be an emotionless bastard with a heart made of stone... that way I can't get hurt anymore. :(I wish my apartment was clean, with all the dishes done.CMiEpeKMNQI

:devil:

I wish I knew how to contact Cybus Industries, so I could volunteer to become a Cyberman. :blink:

[Magpie]

Granted! But they are charging 10% above what you can afford.

I wish I had a better internet connection, so I could see what happened to my last wish.

[hinakiba777]

GRANTED!!!! You have the best internet in the world. It is super fast and costs 1 million dollars a month. (in regards to Collins, he may have been at the school. Though the Engineering program is mostly at the other school, we do have first year engineering here.)

I wish that Jack and Plaid could both find love. ^-^

[Jack T. Chance]

I wish I had a better internet connection, so I could see what happened to my last wish.GRANTED! It's a YouTube clip that's only 5 seconds long, so you don't NEED a fast connection! You can watch it on ANY internet connection! :DI wish that Jack and Plaid could both find love. ^-^GRANTED! Plaidman finds love, but she looks like Gardulla the Hutt! We've already gone over this! :p

As for me... there isn't an available, age-appropriate, attractive (to me) female that is ABLE to be in love with me, to accept me as I am and share her life with me. IF such a woman exists (and I doubt that she does) someone else snatched her up long ago. :(

I wish I had Owlman's Doomsday Bomb and inter-dimensional portal-thingy from Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths. I want to destroy Earth Prime, thus destroying ALL versions of Earth throughout the entire multiverse. So long, human race! :wave: :devil:

[Plaidman]

Sure! You make it to earth prime, and with one second left, every single possible women from all the different earths and times that can love you for you come forth.

To bad you get to see their deaths over and over moments after stating their love for you.

Their powerful love binds you to be immortal. So now your stuck. In oblivion. Alone forever, with only the dust of the people that loved you to keep you company.


I wish I had more cherry pepsi.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I wish I had more cherry pepsi.

Granted! It's on its way to your house right now! You, uh, might want to have a boat ready.

I wish there was more time.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! there's now too much time and you're bored all the time

i wish i had a bigger bed

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! It also comes with a bigger dog.

I wish there was better stuff on TV at this time of night.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! And by this time of night, I assume you mean 4am Atlantic Time. Now all the good shows are only on at 4am atlantic time.

I wish I had my life more together.

[Magpie]

Granted! You organised yourself out of free time.

I wish my foot wasn't upset with me from being in the cast.

Edit: now, I know my dad once threw my mom's dishes off the balcony when they were dating, but I don't have a gun...

[hinakiba777]

Granted! It loved the cast and is upset you have separated them!

I wish I had my own vehicle.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! It loved the cast and is upset you have separated them!

I wish I had my own vehicle.Granted! You are now the proud owner of...

one of Mr. Garrett's special SEGWAY vehicles from that one South Park episode! :devil:

I wish I could make every woman that's ever broken my heart feel exactly what I felt when they dumped me, only magnified to the 10th power!

[Plaidman]

GRANTED! Every woman does feel exactly how you feel times ten. They get so depress that they kill everyone you ever known (except each other) in attempt to make you feel how they feel.


I wish both me and Jack could just get over our depressing and lonelyness.

[Magpie]

Granted, granted, granted! And we'll even forgive you guys for being too busy being extremely happy all the time and not posting here anymore.

Granted! It loved the cast and is upset you have separated them!

That's just it. It IS upset about that!

I wish I could go to the African potluck tonight :cry:.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! But it's being thrown by an obscure cannibal tribe and you're on the menu!

I wish my teeth didn't hurt.

[Magpie]

Granted! You have no teeth to hurt.

I wish I was more enthusiastic about getting to go back to work/school tomorrow.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You are so excited that you can't sleep. So you end up falling asleep in the middle of your second class and you miss work!

I wish I knew what I was going to do about the fall.

[Magpie]

Granted! You know! And spend the summer freaking out about it.

I wish I knew what the next step in my research was.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! But you realize you don't have the resources to complete that step.

I wish i could go on my trip to watch movies and buy books now.

[Magpie]

Granted! But you have no money to do either.

I wish that Discovery would ship Mythbusters boxed seasons to Canada. (Or sell them here. Not picky).

[hinakiba777]

Granted! But they don't mail to your province!

I wish Magpie would lose all her knitting ability.

[Magpie]

Not happening! Meanie! :P

But if it did I'd just take up crochet or tatting instead.

I wish I knew why hinakiba was being so mean.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! However, my many PMs telling you my theory on wishes, and discussing knitting pattern distracts you from important things.

I wish I didn't have to get a filling tomorrow afternoon. :(

[shankyknitter]

granted, instead you're getting all your wisdom teeth out at once. (if this has already happened then they regrew and you need them repulled)

I wish my typing didn't go downhill after drinking.

[BookstoreEscapee]

granted, instead you're getting all your wisdom teeth out at once. (if this has already happened then they regrew and you need them repulled)

I had to do that. It's certainly better than having to get them done separately. (They didn't regrow, though ;))

I wish my typing didn't go downhill after drinking.

Granted. The only time you type well is when you're completely smashed.

I wish I knew where my cat hid my ponytail holder.

[Plaidman]

Granted. It magically reappeared. Along with Kitty's last night dinner. It's alittle ...stinky....


I wish I knew how to protect my teacher from those students.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! However your only idea is to send your prof to another school.

I wish I had a PS3.

granted, instead you're getting all your wisdom teeth out at once. (if this has already happened then they regrew and you need them repulled)

IMPOSSIBLE! I don't have wisdom teeth. I also don't have adult eyeteeth on my lower jaw. So my baby eyeteeth on the bottom are the ones I will have forever. Though, I do have adult eyeteeth on the top. They were impacted. I had surgery to remove the baby teeth, then part of my gum was cut out, then wires were attached from the impacted adult teeth to my braces. Every month the wires would be twisted tighter so the adult teeth would be slowly pulled into place. When they came down, they weren't facing forward so I had to have them twisted until they faced the right way.

I honestly don't think that having wisdom teeth removed could be worse than that.

[Magpie]

Granted! But you have no games for it.

I wish that off-the rack clothes fit me.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! But they are all UGLY!

I wish I didn't have to get two fillings tomorrow afternoon. (Not a repeat. I had one today, and i have two tomorrow. A total of three cavities.)

[Magpie]

Granted! You have to live with the cavities instead.

I wish I had pecans for baking in the house.

[Lace Neil Singer]

You do... they fill your entire house and there's no room for anything else, even you.

I wish I was rich and famous.

[Cookie]

Granted! You are a big corporate CEO and have embezzled many millions of dollars from your company. Getting caught gets your face plastered all over TVs everywhere. You are now a household name. Unfortunately, you are also in jail now.


I wish the flood waters would go ahead and recede in Tennessee so recovery can really begin.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Granted; Tennessee is now a desert, devoid of any life save giant monitor lizards.

I wish I had some chocolate.

[Cookie]

Granted. You now have piles of cheap, clearance Easter chocolate from 1998.


I wish my stupid car hadn't died before we moved! GRRR!

[BookstoreEscapee]

I wish the flood waters would go ahead and recede in Tennessee so recovery can really begin.

B&N in Nashville will apparently be closed for "several months"...:(

I wish my stupid car hadn't died before we moved! GRRR!

Granted! It died a mile from the new place!

I wish I had stopped for dinner on my way home...

[Cookie]

Granted! But you got food poisoning.

I wish I would just get up the guts and get my hair colored like I want.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! But you got food poisoning.

I wish I would just get up the guts and get my hair colored like I want.


Granted! Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts give such a lovely shade.

I wish my cat was still purring in my ear...

[Cookie]

Granted! The cat purrs so loudly, that you go deaf from the noise.

I wish I was more organized. :p

[ShadowTiger]

You turn into a chest of drawers, each with conveniently labeled slots for body parts!

I wish for an additional day in the week with no adverse effects on Earth's orbit or the calendar.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Voila. We've now added Flursday between Thursday and Friday. But in return you have to work every Flursday. All 24 hours of it.

I wish the weather would stay warm so I can plant my strawberries already.

[ShadowTiger]

But the seeds are pure evil, and will grow tomatoes instead of strawberries! Mwahahaha! Your Strawberry milkshakes are RUINED. RUINED, I say!


I wish that in the morning, a single small fresh pickle would appear on a plate downstairs overnight, and would last until the afternoon, if not longer. (lol I'm such a spaz. XD )

[Magpie]

Granted! But once you do eat it, the world ends. Oh, and it's the best pickle EVER MADE. So good luck resisting it.

I wish I had fabric for my dress.

[hinakiba777]

Granted. The fabric is absolutely perfect. However, if you try putting it through a sewing machine it will disintegrate. Also you had to promise not the hand sew more then 25% of the dress in order to get the fabric.

I wish i could drink as many delicious chocolate milkshakes as I want without gaining weight, or having any health issues befall me.

[Plaidman]

I wish i could drink as many delicious chocolate milkshakes as I want without gaining weight, or having any health issues befall me.

Granted! All the chocolate and the milk disappear from the world. You were granted one last one. It is very good, depiste many attempts on your life for the last milkshake.

It was made into a movie by the way...

I wish I was stronger.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! All the chocolate and the milk disappear from the world. You were granted one last one. It is very good, depiste many attempts on your life for the last milkshake.

It was made into a movie by the way...

I wish I was stronger.Granted! A freak accident involving Gamma radiation has just transformed you into...

THE ABOMINATION!!! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_abomination)

The Hulk will be along shortly to smash you into oblivion! :p

I wish I didn't have to work today... I wanted to go see Iron Man 2 on opening day! :(

[Plaidman]

Granted! A freak accident involving Gamma radiation has just transformed you into...

THE ABOMINATION!!! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_abomination)

The Hulk will be along shortly to smash you into oblivion! :p

I wish I didn't have to work today... I wanted to go see Iron Man 2 on opening day! :(

GRANTED! As a surprise, the boss took everyone to see that movie. Paid for it. And snacks too.

After the movie he told everyone the place folded. Everyone got fired.

I wish I could beat Abomination for once.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

First order of business:

But the seeds are pure evil, and will grow tomatoes instead of strawberries! Mwahahaha! Your Strawberry milkshakes are RUINED. RUINED, I say!



So I'll just add vodka and have myself a Bloody Mary. :p

Next order of business:

I wish I could beat Abomination for once.

Granted, but it takes you 143 years to do so, so by the time you get to enjoy your victory celebration you are deceased.

I wish for an endless supply of Orange mint Life Savers.

[hinakiba777]

GRANTED! But they are the only food you are allowed to eat.

I wish my mother would respect the fact that I am an adult who lives on my own most of the time, and i'm only home for the summer because I lose my housing when school it out.

[Magpie]

Granted. She charges rent at market value.

I wish I hadn't screwed up my coffee cake.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I wish I hadn't screwed up my coffee cake.

Granted! You nailed it instead!

I wish I could resist the corny joke..

[Magpie]

Granted! But now you have an irresistible urge to pun.

I wish they'd put siding on the house they're building, so it was less reflective.

[TelephoneAngel]

Granted! But now you have an irresistible urge to pun.

I wish they'd put siding on the house they're building, so it was less reflective.


Granted!they put siding on it, but it has graffiti all over it and its an eyesore.

I wish someone would do all my tasks for me tonight.

[Plaidman]

GRANTED! However, they all got messed up in big ways. But they at least did them.


I wish my dream would come true by the end of the year.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! Sadly we understand dream to be WORST NIGHTMARE. Good luck with that it's coming for you September 16th.

I wish the TV tray hadn't wobbled, spilling my milkshake make of very expensive ice cream, all over my mothers good living room chair. :cry:

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! Sadly we understand dream to be WORST NIGHTMARE. Good luck with that it's coming for you September 16th.

I wish the TV tray hadn't wobbled, spilling my milkshake make of very expensive ice cream, all over my mothers good living room chair. :cry:GRANTED! You never made it to the TV tray, you instead tripped over your own feet, and spilled it all over your favorite outfit! :devil:

I wish I had a delicious, frosty, chocolate milkshake! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v148/JackTChance/Smilies/drool.gif

[Magpie]

Granted. It's contaminated with Listeria.

I wish the news wasn't so depressing.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! A law has passed so no one can announce depressing news. Too bad you now don't know about the serial Killer in your town.

I wish that guys who I have everything in common with wouldn't stop talking to me just because they don't think I'm hot. WHAT ABOUT FRIENDSHIP?!

[Magpie]

Granted! Now they hit on you no matter how they think you look.

I wish I wasn't getting stumped by problems for the class I'm TAing.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You know all the answers, but your responses only serve to further confuse the students.

I wish I had a boy to huggles.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! he just doesn't want to huggle you...

i wish i had a job

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! Now go look at yourself in the mirror and practice saying "You want fries with that." Just like that, as a statement of fact, not a question. It's called suggestive selling and it will make your new fast food employer more money! :devil:

I wish that just for once in my stinking life, a woman would want to be a PERMANENT part of my life as MORE than just a friend. I'm sick and goddamn tired of being consigned to the living hell known as the Friend Zone. :(

[Green_Fairy]

granted! meet bertha. she just hit the one ton mark, can't leave her house (so she's permanent, all right), and lives totally on delivery pizza. and she loooooooooves you so much!

i wish it would stop being cold

[hinakiba777]

granted! he just doesn't want to huggle you...
I do believe this was the situation I was wishing freedom from. Much like this unfortunate lad *points to unhappy guy i'm hugging* cannot escape my arms

granted! meet bertha. she just hit the one ton mark, can't leave her house (so she's permanent, all right), and lives totally on delivery pizza. and she loooooooooves you so much!

i wish it would stop being cold

Granted! A volcano erupts under your home. It's not cold at all now.

I wish something unfortunate would happen to Greeny's Boy without any reprocussions to me.

[Magpie]

Granted. He has to be sent home early because a shaving nick got infected. And I choose to ignore the fact that guilt is a repercussion.

I wish my marking was done.

[Green_Fairy]

Granted. He has to be sent home early because a shaving nick got infected.
oh noes! gangrene! :lol:

I wish my marking was done.
done! only you marked the wrong thing

i wish i knew what kind of marking magpie was talking about

[Magpie]

Granted! Sit down, it's a third year course, the explanation will take a while... :devil:

I wish I didn't have all three interesting things for week happening tonight.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! They are all happening Sunday Morning before dawn!!!

I wish my boss would give me a schedule so I could start working already.

[Magpie]

Granted! You start Sunday Morning before dawn!

I wish it wasn't raining.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You start Sunday Morning before dawn!

Sadly there is one shift that does start around then. I have worked the night shift Wednesday night, the evening shift Thursday, and the morning shift on Friday before. IT's PAINFUL

I wish it wasn't raining.

Granted! There is massive droughts, you can no longer shower and everything is dying.

I wish my mother didn't vaccuum while I'm sleeping. It wakes me up

[Magpie]

Granted. Your carpet looks like mine did until recently (crutches and vacuuming don't go together). And if it's a hardwood floor, she sweeps instead, and you get "crash, clang, bang" all the time.

I wish I had more time to cook.

[Sarlon]

GRANTED!!! now all you do IS cook and not eat.

I wish my manager would switch the 8am meetings at noon.

[Magpie]

Granted! Noon YESTERDAY. And he didn't tell you!

I wish I didn't have to go to this conference.

[Sarlon]

GRANTED! now you have to look for a new job.

I wish I wasn't so tired all the time.

[Magpie]

Granted! Your friends see how hyped up you are, and convince you to try a Red Bull for their entertainment. Horrible things ensue. (Me, base this off of real life? Never!)

I wish I had lasagne I could eat.

[hinakiba777]

Granted. But we ate it before you could!!!

I wish everyone on Customer Suck was happy ^-^

[Sarlon]

GRANTED!!! now the forum dies cause no one has reason to post anymore.

I wish my headache would go away.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! But the medicine give you a stomach ache instead.

I wish my parents would let me take my car out for a bit.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but you get a flat tire 5 minutes out

i wish custody of The Child gets taken away from The Boy's ex

[hinakiba777]

Granted! But the Boy doesn't get custody either.

I wish I could visit my friend

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! But you can't get back home.

I wish my engine light would go off.

[Magpie]

Granted! The car breaks down so thoroughly that the engine light goes off.

I wish I had more time.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! you have time, but nothing to do so you sit around so bored you eventually go completely bonkers and you start running around wearing nothing but old newspaper and bits of string, yelling the ferrets are eating your toes.

i wish the grass would dry so i can mow the lawn

[Magpie]

Granted! But your lawnmower breaks.

I wish they made reel mowers with more adjustment, so you didn't have to cut the grass insanely short every time.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! next time you mow your lawn with one, it'll be all uneven and look bad

i wish "merlin series 2" would arrive on netflix already

[hinakiba777]

Granted! But you are banned from using Netflix for life!

I wish my dad's company would hire me as they pay better than the job I'm supposed to have but still don't,

[Magpie]

Granted! But everyone shuns you because they figure you only got the job from nepotism.

I wish my friends could have stayed longer tonight.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! You're ready for bed now and They. Won't. Leave.

I wish for no thunderstorms for my friend's brother's wedding tomorrow.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! They all lose their homes and have to live at your place from now on!

I wish that i could go to Venus Envy.

[Magpie]

Granted! You can go to it if you skip registering for next term's classes.

I wish I could walk again.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but walking has since become uncool and everyone runs you down in their motorized scooters

i wish i could afford to get another tattoo

[Magpie]

Granted! But the artist screws it up.

I wish someone else would make breakfast for me.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! But it was so good they couldn't resist eating it all. You get soggy cereal.

I wish my new camera instructions would beam themselves into my brain so I don't have to read the manual. (Gotta post wedding pics for my friend's sister (their brother's wedding last night). Don't know how to get them off the camera yet.)

[Magpie]

Granted! But they're in a language you don't speak.

I wish I had managed to get stuff done today.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but it's nothing you needed to get done

i wish i had a muffin

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! Here's one of the leftover muffins from our Wednesday muffin and bagel breakfast. Careful you don't break a tooth!

I wish I didn't have to do laundry tomorrow.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! Here's one of the leftover muffins from our Wednesday muffin and bagel breakfast. Careful you don't break a tooth!

I wish I didn't have to do laundry tomorrow.Granted! You accidentally slept through THE ENTIRE DAY, so now it's Monday morning, time to go to work, and you have NO clean clothes! How embarrassing! :sorry:

I wish I didn't have to go to the stupid meeting tomorrow night. :banghead:

[Magpie]

Granted. You have to go to the stupid meeting all the rest of the day instead.

I wish I could eat normal food, instead of restaurant food, next week.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but it's normal for a troll. hope you like rotted fruit!

i wish i had a job that wasn't too horrible

[ZedOmega]

i wish i had a job that wasn't too horrible

Then I got some good news and bad news. The good news is that you'll be making $1.1 million annually. The bad news is that your only job duty is unclogging sewer lines with a pair of tweezers and nothing else.

I wish I had a taser.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but the battery's dead

i wish the nyquil i took half an hour ago would kick in so i could get some sleep already!


(edit, sidenote: omg post #1111 for this thread. weeeeeird! ^_^)

[ZedOmega]

i wish the nyquil i took half an hour ago would kick in so i could get some sleep already!

Okay, but keyboards don't really make good pillows-- hey, wake up, I'm talking!

I wish I knew what the person three posts from now would wish for.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! they're going to wish for something totally ridiculous

i wish i had chocolate

[ZedOmega]

i wish i had chocolate

Okay. Chocolate furniture, chocolate walls, chocolate plumbing, chocolate appliances... Have fun in the summertime.

I wish that every time someone opens up a can of soda, I earn one cent.

[Green_Fairy]

granted. your entire residence is filled with pennies. and you get crushed to death.

i wish for a fish with no gills, legs, feathers, and batwings

[ZedOmega]

i wish for a fish with no gills, legs, feathers, and batwings

Congratulations! Please wait about three days for your copy of 'Dr. Moreau's Guide to Raising Your New Sky Tuna!'

I wish I could shoot lightning from my eyes.

(And you were right, that IS a silly wish. :D)

[Magpie]

Granted. You can shoot it BACKWARDS - through your head.

I wish I could stay in town this week.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but then you loose your job and you can't afford your home anymore so you're homeless

i wish i had a bigger garden

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! But it's filled with carnivorous plants and they eat you.

I wish I could run farther.

[dalesys]

Granted! Your new pet/owner is a Jogging Dog: half wolf, half chainsaw. You will run!

I wish there weren't so many mice in this house (we've caught about 100 in the last 2 months!)

[Green_Fairy]

granted! they're alligators instead

i wish i had a pattern to crochet a sky tuna ^_^

[hinakiba777]

Granted! But I stole your crochet needles.

I wish that "How to Train your Dragon in Real 3D" will live up to it's hype.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! it's so 3d, you get slightly singed by the dragon. hope you're good at drawing on eyebrows

i wish the weather clears up

[Magpie]

Granted! Everything clears up, including the atmosphere. You can't breathe.

I wish I knew a good place to go for lunch.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but when you get there, they run out of food

i wish the job i'm interviewing today doesn't suck

[Magpie]

Granted! But they just filled the spot.

I wish I had a better idea how to use my cane.

[Jack T. Chance]

I wish I had a better idea how to use my cane.Granted! In the near future, your significant other will royally piss you off, and you'll shove it up his ass... SIDEWAYS! :devil:

I wish I had more money.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but you get thrown in jail for robbing a bank and you can't spend any of it

i wish i could stay home and crochet cute things all day and get paid for it

[ZedOmega]

i wish i could stay home and crochet cute things all day and get paid for it

But wouldn't getting paid in yarn and Skittles cancel out the fun factor?

I wish dogs could fly.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! Your car is their favorite target for "dive bombing"...might want to get a membership to the car wash..

I wish I knew what to do with my life.

[Magpie]

Granted! But you don't like it.

I wish I had fewer projects on the go right now.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! now you don't have any and you're bored silly

i wish i could have taken a better picture of the double rainbow we just had

[hinakiba777]

Granted! It's perfect, but you drop your camera and it gets destroyed.

I wish that my brother's birthday on Thursday is awesome for him.

[Magpie]

Granted! But now he won't shut up about how great it was.

I wish sunscreen wasn't such a bother to put on.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! But now he won't shut up about how great it was.

I wish sunscreen wasn't such a bother to put on.

(Yes he would do that. Not shut up about his b-day)

Granted. Here is a sunscreen that is not a hassle to put on, however it is not waterproof at all so if you go in the water or sweat it will cease to work. Good luck.

I wish I could get my new HTC without having to buy it outright at full price.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but it breaks and because you got it on sale, you can't get it fixed

i wish my toes stop blistering

[Magpie]

Granted! This then causes them to never develop calluses. So they're always just this side of blistering.

I wish my hotel had a pool.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but it's full of piranhas

i wish i was more motivated to do sit-ups

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted. But you can't sit back down. :p

I wish you were here.

[Jack T. Chance]

I wish you were here.Granted! But seeing as I'm now 3 hours away from home and have to work in the morning, you have to stay up all night to drive me home, and then drive yourself back to your place, so you get NO sleep before you have to go to work! :p

I wish I didn't have to work for a living. It's for the birds!

[hinakiba777]

GRANTED! You are now a billionaire for suggesting all our jobs could be done by budgys! We are ALL coming to get you.

I wish that my brother's birthday today will be the best 24th birthday anyone has ever had. I love my big brother ^-^

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but his 24th and 1 day is the worst day ever

i wish war didn't exist

[Magpie]

Granted.

I wish Green_Fairy would stop posting wishes that you can't in good conscience corrupt.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! All of greeny's wishes are corruptible. Even the ones not in this thread.

I wish for an HTC hero.

[ZedOmega]

I wish for an HTC hero.

Okay, but without the battery, cables, and service, you've got a pretty cool-looking paperweight.

I wish I had infinite wishes.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but none of them come true

I wish The Boy's ex would stop being an idiot already

[Magpie]

Granted. She thinks of very clever ways to make your lives hell.

I wish I could decide if I should go to the Forks or not.

[Green_Fairy]

forks? as in forks, washington? what, looking for sparkly vamps?

i wish those books had never been written

[Magpie]

Granted. But I recommend you stay out of bookstores, you really won't like what you find there.

And I've been torn about going and seeing tourist destinations (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Forks,_Winnipeg).

I wish Green Fairy had granted my previous wish.

[Green_Fairy]

lol sorry ^_^
granted! you go to forks and get attacked by teenyboppers because you say vamps shouldn't sparkle
(i know, different forks. but...oh well :D)

i wish i had booze

[hinakiba777]

Granted! But as she didn't know you meant "The Forks, Winnipeg" (awesome place BTW) she sends you on a six month, you can't leave, trip to Forks Washington with 50 Twilight fangirls.

I wish I could decide which of my many novels to read.

[Magpie]

Granted! But the alpaca gets to it first.

I wish I didn't have such a long trip home from the airport on Saturday.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! your flight is delayed until Monday!!!

I wish I understood this stupid poncho pattern.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but turns out it's not a poncho but a pair of slippers

i wish i had a pet cow

[Magpie]

Granted. But you don't have enough space for the necessary "compost" pile.

I wish I had more interesting hobbies.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but you don't have enough time for it

i wish i were the egg man

[Magpie]

Granted, but I am the Walrus!

I wish I didn't need sleep.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but you go crazy cuz your subconscious doesn't have an outlet anymore

i wish i had the stuff to make a fuzzy navel

[ArcticChicken]

i wish i had the stuff to make a fuzzy navel

Here's some lint, congratulations.

I wish to have a job I don't hate.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! YOU love it so much that you do it for free. You have no money!

I wish I had a puppy or a kitten.

[ZedOmega]

Granted! As an added bonus, your pit bull puppies comes free with a lifetime supply of prosthetic fingers!

I wish I could get drunk at work.

[Magpie]

Granted! Unfortunately, you're so drunk you let by some obvious fake IDs and the place gets shut down.

I wish the city hadn't banned keeping chickens.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! now everyone has chickens and there's too many eggs. they start going bad in the street and the whole city smells like sulfur

i wish i didn't feel like hiding under a blanket for most of the day

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! The blanket wants to hide under you!

I wish my shoulder didn't hurt.

[ZedOmega]

Granted! The blanket wants to hide under you!

I wish my shoulder didn't hurt.

Okay, little tweaking of the nerves here, shift of the posture there... okay, your shoulder pain is now your back pain. Enjoy!

I wish I could go back to sleep right now.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! and you never wake up

i wish it was warm rain instead of cold rain

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! It's so warm you start to cook if you stand in a puddle.

I wish I hadn't eaten that.

[Magpie]

Granted! You missed the best food ever.

I wish my grandmother would stop giving me so much stuff.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! she never gives you anything ever and she never wants to see you again

i wish my garden grows well this year

[dalesys]

Granted! It keeps saying "Feed me!"

I wish I could get to my son's wedding in Yosemite for free.

[Sarlon]

GRANTED! but its in the middle of december....in montana...

I wish that DB hadn't rear ended my car yesterday and hurt my back.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! he t-boned you instead and now you're paralyzed from the neck down

i wish i knew what time it was where The Boy is

[Sarlon]

GRANTED! except now hes moved and you have no clue where he is!

I wish dinner would cook itself and clean up after itself.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! But it eats itself, too.

I wish I could actually get up when my alarm goes off instead of hitting snooze twelve thousand times.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! But it eats itself, too.

I wish I could actually get up when my alarm goes off instead of hitting snooze twelve thousand times.Granted! But now your alarm clock goes off every 108 minutes, and won't stop making noise until you enter the right code numbers and press the button! :p

I wish I was a multi-millionaire... in U.S. dollars, not some weird foreign currency, and not in all fiddling small change, but actually had millions of U.S. dollars, TO KEEP and pay all my bills with! :p

[Magpie]

Granted, but your bills have grown to match. (You're the one who left "to pay the bills with" in :p).

I wish I wasn't having mold problems with my bay trees.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! you're having a bug problem instead

i wish my dog would stay this clean

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! He no longer plays with you because he doesn't want to get dirty.

I wish I was showered and dressed already.

[Magpie]

Granted! Orange plaid and pink camo is really you.

I wish someone would help my fit my shell.

[dalesys]

Granted! Procrustes at your service. Trim a little here, stretch a little there...

I wish I could see Four Bitchin' Babes this year.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! Procrustes at your service. Trim a little here, stretch a little there...

I wish I could see Four Bitchin' Babes this year.Granted! The four women that are most important in your life will ALL find reason this year to bitch at you... AT THE SAME TIME! Brace yourself, mate, you're gonna catch hell in 4-SPEAKER SURROUND SOUND!!! :devil:

I wish for a worthy ending to LOST (Don't tell me shit! I haven't watched the final episode yet!)

[lobo94]

Granted-Sherwood Schwartz wakes up, and refines the concept of "Lost" to create "Gilligan's Island,"

I wish I were the greatest criminal mind of our time!

[Green_Fairy]

granted! and you go to jail for the rest of your life

i wish i could go to france

[ZedOmega]

Thanks to a miscommunication with Greyhound, you get a ticket to Paris... Texas.

I wish I had a koi pond.

[Magpie]

Granted! The neighbourhood cats love the buffet.

I wish my laundry as done.

[lobo94]

Granted-the dryer caught fire and burned your clothes to ashes.

I wish it would cool down, temperaturewise.

[Magpie]

Granted! Shame about the frost killing most of the local crops.

I wish my friend's wandering jew (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tradescantia_zebrina) wasn't taking over the shelf we put it on.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! instead it parts the red curtains and leads all the other plants to freedom

i wish i had a bigger car

[BookstoreEscapee]

granted! instead it parts the red curtains and leads all the other plants to freedom

:lol:

i wish i had a bigger car

Granted! Here are the keys to your shiny new 18-wheeler.

I wish there was a way to magically receive the things that I want by just asking for them.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! But Wednesday you will be really frustrated and say "somebody kill me" and an axe wielding maniac will murder you.

I wish my teeth would stop hurting, but I do not want them to fall out or rot or anything.

[ZedOmega]

You wake up one day to find out that your teeth are no longer bothering you, but someone was nice enough to leave the syringe full of morphine in your arm.

I wish NASCAR had more crashes.

[lobo94]

Granted-all of NASCAR's computers go down!

I wish I had a case of Java Monster's Russian coffee drink.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but it's totally rancid and would kill you if you drank it

i wish i had a new belt

[ZedOmega]

Sure thing. But what're you gonna do with a conveyor belt?

I wish these updates would finish downloading so I can sleep.

[Magpie]

Granted. But tomorrow you discover that they were corrupted, and you have to spend two days downloading them again.

I wish my expense claim form was easier to understand.

[Dave1982]

Granted. But tomorrow you discover that they were corrupted, and you have to spend two days downloading them again.

I wish my expense claim form was easier to understand.

Granted. It now simply reads "All employees are responsible for their own expenses."

I wish I had a delicious hamburger.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! But the bun is gross.

I wish my parents would stop IMing me the second I turn on the computer every day. We are not in the same room, or even in the same town, you don't need to acknowledge my presence the second I appear.

[lobo94]

Granted-you have been replaced by your duplicate from a parallell universe...an evil duplicate.

I wish I had more tolerance for fools, jerks, and sucky customers.

[Magpie]

Granted. The lynch mob will be after you shortly for encouraging those people.

I wish I hadn't overdone my knee exercises. (Quite counter-productive that).

[Green_Fairy]

granted! you didn't do them at all and that causes its' own problems

i wish my dog would be less smelly

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! Somehow he bites his own nose off and now he can't smell anything.

I wish this show wasn't on so late.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! they cancel it and it never airs again

i wish i had a full set of chain-mail...and the body strength to wear it

[ZedOmega]

granted! they cancel it and it never airs again

i wish i had a full set of chain-mail...and the body strength to wear it

It arrives on the same day you see a news report of a rampant dragon not two blocks away. Good luck!

I wish I had $500 right now.

[Magpie]

Granted! You also have an extra $600 worth of bills.

I wish I didn't need to carry my tree up and down the stairs.

[BookstoreEscapee]

granted! they cancel it and it never airs again I wouldn't be devastated. It was the season finale of Dancing with the Stars and it was 2 hours long and ended at 11pm. I wanted to go to bed.

I wish I didn't need to carry my tree up and down the stairs.

Granted! You have to drag it up Mt. Everest, instead.

[Green_Fairy]

i wish BE had made a wish :P

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted!

I wish my AC worked better. 88 degrees out at 10:19 pm.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! Your house turns into a walk in freezer and your die of hypothermia.

I wish my dust allergies weren't so severe that they stopped me from cleaning my room. (Oh the irony.)

[ZedOmega]

Hmm... switch the dust allergy for an allergy to cleaning products... okay, there ya go.

I wish there was a store open within walking distance right now.

[Green_Fairy]

granted. hope you're in the market for giant rubber fists and stuffed sheep.

i wish The Boy could come home early

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! He comes home to surprise you on the day you decide to go visit him instead!

I wish for my car to not have any major problems brewing (engine stopped while I was stopped at a light on my way home. Luckily it started right up and didn't do it again...).

[Magpie]

Granted! The problems aren't brewing, they've fully developed.

I wish that I had enough yarn for this project, and was secure in that knowledge.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! you have too much yarn. you have so much yarn, it's filling all of your rooms floor to ceiling and you're stuck

i wish i had a new pair of shoes

[Sarlon]

GRANTED! they are BRIGHT pink with neon laces, and purple polka dots.

I wish they would approve my over time at the promised rate of $18/hour in USA currancy.

[Magpie]

Granted! But you have to do 72 hours of overtime this weekend.

Green Fairy: and that's a bad thing how?

I wish I hadn't forgotten my water bottle.

[Sarlon]

Granted! But you have to do 72 hours of overtime this weekend.

Green Fairy: and that's a bad thing how?

I wish I hadn't forgotten my water bottle.

seriously? how is this a bad thing...almost $1800 paycheck for a week...

granted! but you now are stuck with stagnant water and nothing to refill it with!

I wish it would RAIN this afternoon to help cool it down.

[dalesys]

FSM: Sarlon!
S: Y-y-yes?
FSM: How long can you tread water?
(...and I'm not telling if the elephant is PG...)

I wish my #2 son was getting married closer than Yosemite.

[Magpie]

Granted! You are now hosting a 500 person reception in your backyard.

And Sarlon, lack of sleep can be (literally) fatal.

I wish my program would just @#$%@$# work already.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! The program begins to run smoothly right before all the computers blow up.

I wish my brother wouldn't go out all night with his friends on day he made plans with me.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! he breaks plans with you and hangs out with his friends instead

i wish the lawns would mow themselves

[hinakiba777]

Granted! The tiny blades make it impossible for you to enjoy your lawn.

I wish that my mother would let me get a kitten.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! it's the evilest kitty ever and eats all your socks

i wish i had a fish in a dish

[lobo94]

Granted. Unfortunately, it's improperly prepared fugu-poisonous Japanese blowfish-and you end up dying.

I wish I were a superhero.

[ZedOmega]

Done! Now go and fight crime with your newfound powers of intuitive snail ranching!

I wish I knew what tomorrow night was gonna be like.

[Green_Fairy]

it's gonna suck. seriously. a black hole is going to open up in the middle of your city and suck everything around it in

i wish my cat and dog would get along

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! They get along so well you now have a litter of baby catdogs to deal with.

I wish for the plants to live this time. (Roomie just came home with plants for the balcony. Again.)

[hinakiba777]

Granted! They take over your apartment!!!

I wish Greenie would go on Skype! :D

[Green_Fairy]

NEVAR!!eleventy!!
(actually, my skype's been acting weird lately. i need to get off my lazy duff and reinstall it)

i wish this week!

[Magpie]

Granted! I have no clue what exactly you wished for, so I'm fairly sure that what I'm giving you isn't actually what you wanted :p

I wish I hadn't thrown the little girls in the air quite so many times yesterday. (owie)

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You didn't throw them at all and they are cranky because you wouldn't play with them.

I wish I had new posters for my bedroom at home.

[Magpie]

Granted! Let's see... I post here, so does Rummy, Green Fairy, and Squeak!

I wish I had fabric for my dress.

[hinakiba777]

Granted, but it's itchy and an ugly color.

I wish that the plan to bring home a kitten will go smoothly.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! But once he's home...hoo boy, watch out!

I wish my laundry was dry and the rain was stopped so I could go home.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but the moment you step out the door, it starts raining again and your clothes get all wet

i wish i knew what my cat was dreaming about that makes her twitch so much

[ZedOmega]

Your cat's dreaming that it's Tweak from South Park.

I wish I knew what to make to eat right now.

[Magpie]

Granted! You know what to make. Unfortunately you don't have the ingredients to do so.

I wish I didn't have to take the bus to work.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! You have to hitch a ride on the back of some guy's motorcycle.

I wish for a thunderstorm.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! i lasts for a month and because it's so bad, you can't go out and you starve to death

i wish my poor dog didn't have allergies or whatever's making her sneeze, cough, and breath funny

[Magpie]

Granted. You have them, and cough, sneeze and breathe funny so much that your dog is terrified.

I wish that we didn't have so many important events this coming weekend.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! they're all moved to monday morning

i wish my brother has a safe flight in

[ZedOmega]

Thankfully he does, but unfortunately for everyone at the airport, so do half the children ever mentioned in a Sightings thread.

I wish it were possible to fix a laptop by just smacking the stupid thing.

[Racket_Man]

Granted but you smacked it with a ten pound sledgehammer and now all you have is little laptop flacky bits on the table

I wish my company would get smarter

[Magpie]

Granted! The company is so smart it can do the work without any employees!

I wish VIA hadn't changed the 6-pak rules :cry:

[Green_Fairy]

granted! they discontinued it instead!

i wish i know what these "rules" were and how they were changed.

[Magpie]

Granted (https://www.viarail.ca/en/fares/travel-passes/via-6-pak/)! But now you wish you were still in school.

I wish my textbook would stop trying to train American engineers and not make me do conversions.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! There are now no textbooks to train American Engineers.

I wish that going to pick up my stuff from school goes smoothly next week.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! There are now no textbooks to train American Engineers.

I wish that going to pick up my stuff from school goes smoothly next week.Granted! But the trip to get there will be quite an interesting... adventure, and you'll be glad and thankful when it's over! :devil:

I wish for the ability to always know the right thing to say to the woman I love... without it being the thing that drives her away for good! :p

[ZedOmega]

You got it! But don't practice it within earshot of... well, anyone, because then you'll have to explain the unwanted harem when you get home. I smell a sitcom!

I wish I didn't just think of that joke.

[Magpie]

Granted! So Jack's wish never got granted.

I wish my computer didn't hate me.