Wish Corruption! (Game thread)

[dalesys]

Granted. Your computer lurves you so much it turns into a quivering gob of goo in your hands.

I wish for no emergencies while tending my daughter after her gall bladder removal today.

[Magpie]

Granted. Be very afraid of tomorrow though.

I wish it didn't feel so cold in my office right now.

[ZedOmega]

Okay. Just leave the office in a calm and expedient manner and wait for the fire department...

I wish I didn't have to go to work in a couple hours.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You are transported to a dimension of nothing but you and infinite white emptiness. There is no work in this dimension ^-^

I wish that I had a bad of Sour Cream and Onion Ruffles

[BookstoreEscapee]

I wish that I had a bad of Sour Cream and Onion Ruffles

Granted! Have fun getting your stomach pumped!

I wish it was 70 degrees and sunny instead of 88.

[ZedOmega]

Thanks to a series of freak weather incidents, it's sunny and 70... below zero. Dress warm.

I've got 1 lb. of ground beef in the fridge and I wish I knew what to make with it.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! any hills in the area? you can go iceblocking with it!

i wish i get the job i interview for last week

[hinakiba777]

Granted. You can have any job you go back in time to last week to interview for.

I wish the Thunder and Lightening would stop. :cry::cry:

[Green_Fairy]

granted! now it's hailing so bad, there are dents in every car and people are getting bludgeoned to death by the falling ice balls

i wish my sleep schedule wasn't so crazy

[hinakiba777]

Granted. Your sleep schedule is normal, but your eating schedule is now insane. You eat in your sleep!!!

I wish that i didn't have to go to Newfoundland to get my stuff.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! you have to go to japan instead

i wish i spoke japanese as well as i can speak english

[hinakiba777]

Granted. You now speak horrible English.

I wish I had a bowl of ice cream. Delicious ice cream that won't make me sick.

[Magpie]

Granted. Here's your ice cream, and here's a microscope so you can see it to eat.

I wish I knew what to make for dinner tonight.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! Too bad caviar and filet mignon are so damn expensive...

I wish for the weather to stay just like today.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You get Today's weather from Antartica!

I wish I didn't have to go to Newfoundland tomorrow night :cry:

[Magpie]

Granted! You need to go this morning instead. On the plane that just left.

I wish I had remembered to book the time I need off from my volunteering.

[hinakiba777]

Granted. But your boss denies you the time off.

I wish that getting all my stuff tomorrow will go smoothly, and I'll have a safe trip on the ferry, and I'll sleep well on the ferry.

[Magpie]

Granted! But you end up taking the infamous train... (Is that one still running?)

I wish I wasn't feeling dizzy.

[hinakiba777]

Granted now you are very nauseous.

I wish my room was clean and organized.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! But now you can't find anything.

I wish I hadn't wound up taking that detour...

[lobo94]

Granted-but the original route was so snarled up with a traffic jam that the detour would have saved time.

I wish I were Doctor Thaddeus Bodog Sivana, the rightful ruler of the universe! Heh heh heh!

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted-but the original route was so snarled up with a traffic jam that the detour would have saved time.

Actually, a traffic jam was the reason for the detour - I couldn't get over to my exit.

I wish I were Doctor Thaddeus Bodog Sivana, the rightful ruler of the universe! Heh heh heh!

Granted! But you've just been overthrown!

I wish I could play with the baby some more. :baby:

[hinakiba777]

Granted. The baby keeps waking you up to play and you get tons of time with him/her, but no sleep.

I wish my mother would just leave me alone about stuff.

[ZedOmega]

Okay. Now she's constantly calling you about every single bit of minutia ever conceived. Like, every five minutes during daylight hours. I'd skip out on Christmas this year...

I wish this thread on Fratching would just hurry up and be approved so I can edit my latest SC thread!

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but somehow a SC hacks both sites and deletes them

i wish i had a live-in masseuse i could pay with compliments

[Magpie]

Granted, but she's awful, and makes you feel worse than when she started.

I wish I knew that my assumptions were valid.

[NateTheChops]

Granted, but she's awful, and makes you feel worse than when she started.

I wish I knew that my assumptions were valid.

Granted. But it doesn't matter because no one cares whether you appreciate it or not. :p

I wish to become well known for my writing.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! You are that author that every school child dreads.

I wish it wasn't so humid.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! hope you like mars

i wish i knew why my dog's afraid of heater vents

[Magpie]

Granted! As the heating-duct-monster messily devours you you realise that this is what your dog was worried about.

I wish I had less of a twisted mind.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! But now you're no fun...

I wish my cat would stop sticking her feet in my face.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! But now you're no fun...

I wish my cat would stop sticking her feet in my face.GRANTED! She decides to stick her smelly BUTT in your face, instead! You now have a very LITERAL case of Cat Butt Face! :p

I wish that every single one of the men, everywhere in the world, that ever forced themselves on an unwilling woman, would all wake up tomorrow morning, and they'd all have no dick and no balls! :mad:

[NateTheChops]

GRANTED! She decides to stick her smelly BUTT in your face, instead! You now have a very LITERAL case of Cat Butt Face! :p

I wish that every single one of the men, everywhere in the world, that ever forced themselves on an unwilling woman, would all wake up tomorrow morning, and they'd all have no dick and no balls! :mad:

Granted. Except now they're transgendered.

I wish non-stereotypical gay men were easier to identify.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but all the homophobes of the world descend upon them and...squish

i wish the dogs next door would stop being so annoying and aggressive

[Tsiyeria]

Wish granted. Your children now need therapy because of frequent dog humpings.

I wish that my paychecks were larger.

[NateTheChops]

Wish granted. Your children now need therapy because of frequent dog humpings.

I wish that my paychecks were larger.

Granted. You now have a larger piece of paper with much larger printing that tells you how little you are making.

I wish everyone I worked with would be on the same page as me.

[hinakiba777]

I wish my mother would just leave me alone about stuff.


Okay. Now she's constantly calling you about every single bit of minutia ever conceived. Like, every five minutes during daylight hours. I'd skip out on Christmas this year...

I'm confused about how this is supposed to be corrupting my wish. It looks like you didn't grant it at all.


I wish everyone I worked with would be on the same page as me.

Granted. You and your fellow employs are shrunken down and now live on page 62 of the company hand book.

I wish that it will be warm on my vacation next week. I don't want to get sick because I'm swimming in the cold.

[phantasy]

Granted! It's so sunny and warm that you get sun poisoning all over your skin.

I wish I could afford a ful-day spa treatment without missing work.

[Magpie]

Granted, but you have an allergic reaction to what they're using on you.

I wish I hadn't put my foot in my mouth today. (Discussing the plans of what I now know is his ex-girlfriend with a friend).

[Green_Fairy]

granted! you put your arm in there instead

i wish kuwait would answer their phones

[hinakiba777]

Granted! The line is busy because they answered the call right before yours and you don't get to talk to the Boy.

I wish that my brother was happy and safe while my parents and I are off on vacation this week. (he doesn't like living the house alone for too long so he decided not to come.)

[Green_Fairy]

granted! he's nice and safe in his white padded room

i wish i had a job

[Magpie]

Granted! You can deal with all of Dave's vacation rental customers while he goes and drinks heavily.

I wish the other TA wasn't such an idiot.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! s/he is smarter than you. and makes sure you know it. constantly.

i wish craisins were as healthy as they are tasty (so much sugar! :cry:)

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

As you wish, but do you wanna know why they're so healthy and tasty? Because they're people.

I wish I get July 4th weekend off. That would be sweet.

[Jack T. Chance]

As you wish, but do you wanna know why they're so healthy and tasty? Because they're people.

I wish I get July 4th weekend off. That would be sweet.CONGRATULATIONS! Your bosses will decide to extend to you the privilege of a permanent vacation just in time for the July 4th holiday weekend! :devil:

I wish I knew what to do and say to make things turn out the way I want them to. :(

[Sarlon]

GRANTED! now your so sauve you find all the backstabbers that you could EVER hope to meet!!!

I wish my publisher would read my story, love it SOOOOOOOOOOO much that he wants to publish it, and give me a MASSIVE bonus check, with a nice contract, AND said book sells millions in the US and worldwide!

[Magpie]

Granted! But you can never show your face in public (or at family gatherings) again for shame.

I wish the people we're supposed to go camping with had a clue about planning.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! they plan you right out of the trip

i wish there was better public transportation here

[Magpie]

Granted! It comes with all the idiots who don't get how to use it that we have here.

I wish computers made sense.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! it's so simple everyone understands them and we're soon overrun with robots. evil robots.

i wish i had more yarn

[Magpie]

Granted! But it's all red heart acrylic. (If you've never had the misfortune to use it, my husband describes it as something they spun using the sweepings from the mill floor).

I wish my fabric was washed and cut already.

[Green_Fairy]

Granted! But it's all red heart acrylic.
lol you just made my lip involuntarily twitch. i hate that stuff with every fiber of my being

I wish my fabric was washed and cut already.
granted! but it shrunk when you washed it and it didn't cut right

[BookstoreEscapee]

^^invisible wish^^


>>Invisible granted!!<<

I wish we got a thunderstorm.

[Sarlon]

GRANTED! but it caused MAJOR flooding and is now 20 degrees HOTTER then it was before the storm....and your power is out.

I wish sunday was here so I can get going on my trip to swim with dolphins!

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but the dolphins leave and the sharks come in. hope you have a metal cage

i wish i had red chucks

[BookstoreEscapee]

i wish i had red chucks

Granted! (http://ih1.redbubble.net/work.2439455.5.fc,550x550,black.v3.jpg)

I wish for cooler weather this weekend.

[Green_Fairy]

Granted! (http://ih1.redbubble.net/work.2439455.5.fc,550x550,black.v3.jpg)
:lol: you are fired

I wish for cooler weather this weekend.
granted! hope you like snow!

i wish mailing my brother's water glasses to him doesn't cost too much

[Sarlon]

GRANTED! they are garunteed to be there...tomorrow....for $5....hope he is REALLY good at puzzles.

I wish I could get all my money BEFORE I leave for my trip

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but your trip is canceled!

i wish it would cool down a bit in my room

[Tsiyeria]

i wish it would cool down a bit in my room

Granted! Your AC will not turn off for love nor money. Hope you've got some thick blankets.

I wish people at my job would stop getting injured.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! they start going upstairs and disappearing instead. then it turns out that there really is no second floor and it was all a perception filter and...i've been watching too much dr. who.

...i wish i had a TARDIS

[Sarlon]

GRANTED! welcome to your 2 inch blue box!

I wish my cat would be more accepting of the fact I'm leaving for vacation sunday and will be gone 2 weeks.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! He throws a party to celebrate and trashes the place!

I wish my court thing was done with.

[Sarlon]

GRANTED! but the ruling was NOT in your favor!

I wish I could get some sleep!

[Green_Fairy]

granted! you'll wake up in a few centuries...

i wish i had a pineapple

[BookstoreEscapee]

GRANTED! but the ruling was NOT in your favor!

There is a part of me that would be OK with that so I can just say Fuck him and be done with the whole thing.

i wish i had a pineapple

Granted! Must have hurt to sit on it like that!

I wish this bug flying around my apartment would leave.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! it leaves. but...then it comes back with about 200 of it's friends.

i wish my dad doesn't ask me to help sand the dresser mom bought as the electric sander makes my arms go numb/tingly/hurty

[hinakiba777]

Granted! He DEMANDS you help. But knowing the electric sander hurts you, he tell you to do it all by hand with sheets of sandpaper.

I wish that Lovable Manager would actually answer the phone when she tells me to call. I'm getting sick of leaving her messages.

also,

lol you just made my lip involuntarily twitch. i hate that stuff with every fiber of my being

BWHAHA!!!! It's funny because yarn is made of fibers! :P

[Sarlon]

GRANTED!!! except you never answer the phone now when she calls.

I wish it wasn't so hot.

[Whiskey]

GRANTED!!! except you never answer the phone now when she calls.

I wish it wasn't so hot.

Granted! You've been relocated to Antarctica on a 25-year employment contract.


I wish I was working in Psych Research already.l

[Sarlon]

GRANTED! except your the subject they are studying

I wish it would rain here in TN and give me REALLY nice weather in the bahamas

[hinakiba777]

Granted! Your house floods while you are on vacation killing your cat.

I wish my mother would stop pestering to try calling my manager again.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. However your manager is now pestering you on his own accord. And he only wants you for the hours you can't work.

I wish the weather wasn't quite so hot here.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! It is one degree cooler now.

I wish I was caught up on my magazine reading.

[hinakiba777]

GRANTED! You go blind from reading so much tiny print on glossy pages in a short time.

I wish that I was the most knowledgable anime fan in the world.

[Tsiyeria]

Granted. Now no-one will talk to you or spend time with you, as you being the most knowledgeable makes you a know-it-all. Insufferable.

I wish that my eyes didn't strain so easily.

[hinakiba777]

Granted you are blind. Not eye strain now.

I wish that my doctor's appointment was earlier that 7:30. I'm in a lot of pain.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! It's at 6:25:36 exactly. Don't be late!

I wish I had sent for this information sooner. :doh:

[Magpie]

Granted! And you put it somewhere safely away when it came. So safely that you can't find it now that you need it!

I wish I wasn't going camping this weekend.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! you are going camping every weekend after it.

I wish people would stop making my hotel seem like it's haunted.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! it longer seems haunted. it is haunted

i wish i had a set of these (http://inventorspot.com/articles/digital_bbq_tongs_thermometer_31520) or one of these (http://www.brookstone.com/always-perfect-digital-meat-thermometers-fork.html?bkeid=compare|channeladvisor|nextag|data feed)

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! You have both, but the BBQ blew up.

I wish to sleep well tonight.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! you sleep too well and you don't wake up til next year

i my dog would stop being afraid of thunder

[hinakiba777]

Granted! Your dog is now scared of all the ghosts that USED to be at my hotel. (did you really have to corrupt my wish to make this place haunted. Working night shift alone is hard enough without ghosts)

I wish my parents hadn't "Fixed" my sleep schedule. Since now working night shift is hard.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. Now you never sleep, so therefore no sleep problem.

Cancel both the Fourth of July weekend and the upcoming Inventory this coming Wednesday so I can go to the beach this weekend and stay gone all next week with my Dad and stepmom. :help:

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted. Now you never sleep, so therefore no sleep problem.

Cancel both the Fourth of July weekend and the upcoming Inventory this coming Wednesday so I can go to the beach this weekend and stay gone all next week with my Dad and stepmom. :help:Granted! But the price you pay is that you're now on a PERMANENT vacation. Happy job hunting! :wave:

I wish I knew how to accomplish the impossible mission that's been given to me today. Really. I haven't a clue how to go about it. :blink:

[Green_Fairy]

granted! you do so well, they give you even more impossible missions! good luck ;)

i wish i knew what i ate that made my tummy all weird so i know not to eat it again

[hinakiba777]

Granted! It's an ingredient present in all your favorite foods.

I wish I had a pet of my own.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! you have your own pet tribble!
no wait 2
no wait 4
no wait...

i wish i had a pocket watch

[hinakiba777]

Granted! It's the wind up kind but you lost the one of a kind only key in existence for it.

I wish heroines in novels weren't so stupid ><

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. Now they're like my two heroines, Lynda and Brenda and they are taking over the world.:p

I wish I could be at the beach right now, sitting in a chair under an umbrella having a cold Yuengling and watching the porpoises

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but you drink too much beer and you pass out, not able to enjoy the beach

i wish all the CSs stay away from teh cookie store today

[hinakiba777]

Granted. But no other customers show up either.

I wish that my treatment was over so I could could stop being smelly.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! Your treatment is done and you discover...it wasn't the treatment...

I wish my friend hadn't sent me home with cookies...

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! Your treatment is done and you discover...it wasn't the treatment...

I wish my friend hadn't sent me home with cookies...Granted! They sent you home with Indian cuisine instead! Enjoy your disgusting curry! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v148/JackTChance/Smilies/puke.gif

I wish for the power to make people do my bidding! "I am the Master... and you will obey me!" :devil:

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but you're always hearing a beat of 4 in your head and it drives you insane!!!

i wish i knew how to surf

[hinakiba777]

Granted, You know how to surf the web.

I wish that painting my room goes smoothly and looks amazing.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! The end result is crappy, but you look amazingly smooth doing it!

I wish I had a/c in my room.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! There is now an Air Canada airport in your bedroom. ^-^

I wish that my brother would decide to go to the movies tomorrow with me.

[Magpie]

Granted, but he insists on going to the same movie as every giggling, texting, chattering tweenie.

I wish I had the right colour of thread.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted, but he insists on going to the same movie as every giggling, texting, chattering tweenie.

My roommate is at that movie right now...

I wish I had the right colour of thread.

Granted! But you have the wrong color fabric.

I wish I could wish for more wishes.

[dalesys]

Granted.

For each wish you make you receive two wishes you must make. Enjoy your recursion into Stack Overflow Land.

I wish I had had some fluorescent paisley BDUs to wear to my little brothers birding in ABQ.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but they're waaaaaaaaaaay too big

i wish i could find the right yarn to finish one of my crochetting projects

[Magpie]

Granted! But you can't find anything to do with it once it's done.

I wish my foot was better :cry:

[hinakiba777]

Granted but now your knee hurts!

I wish it wasn't so hot in my bedroom.

[Sarlon]

GRANTED! its now -20 C in your room!

I wish the laundry was done so I could go to bed.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but it's piled all over your bed so you still have to stay up late folding

i wish netflix had more superhero cartoons for streaming

[hinakiba777]

Granted! They have all the superhero cartoons you could want but there is a region ban where you are.

I wish my mom would let me bring home a kitten.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. But it grows up to become a tiger.

I wish I could get one of my fanfic stories turned into a movie.

[hinakiba777]

Granted. But it grows up to become a tiger.
I am Totally fine with this

I wish I could get one of my fanfic stories turned into a movie.
Granted! It's a really bad one you wrote when you were 12. It becomes the next Twilight and the studios are breathing down your neck to get SEQUELS.

I wish I knew what to do to kill my boredom

[Green_Fairy]

I wish I knew what to do to kill my boredom
write fanfics

i wish i had more flowers

[hinakiba777]

Go buy some! I'm not granting you wish if you don't grant mine!

I wish that everyone would play this game properly.

[Magpie]

Granted! But then you get traumatized by how your wishes get corrupted.

I wish my friend would stop asking me for advice on how to interact with the ladies.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! your friend instead starts following you around instead of just talking

i wish i knew a girl that has tried the PX90 workout

[hinakiba777]

Granted! It KILLED HER!

I wish I had a pizza.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! It KILLED HER!

I wish I had a pizza.GRANTED! I have arranged for Potomac Pizza (http://www.potomacpizza.com/) here in Maryland to deliver to you a large Nelson Eddie (http://www.potomacpizza.com/menu/pizza), or as I like to call it, THE MOST DISGUSTING PIZZA KNOWN TO MAN!!! Enjoy! :p

I wish I had the power to make every godsdamned speed trap camera in the state of Maryland spontaneously implode! :rant:

[hinakiba777]

GRANTED! I have arranged for Potomac Pizza (http://www.potomacpizza.com/) here in Maryland to deliver to you a large Nelson Eddie (http://www.potomacpizza.com/menu/pizza), or as I like to call it, THE MOST DISGUSTING PIZZA KNOWN TO MAN!!! Enjoy! :p

I wish I had the power to make every godsdamned speed trap camera in the state of Maryland spontaneously implode! :rant:

Granted! 1 thousand 5 year old children will die on Tuesday when they walk by the cameras as they explode.

I wish the internet would stop cutting out and just run smoothly.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! 1 thousand 5 year old children will die on Tuesday when they walk by the cameras as they explode.That's why I said IMplode! :pI wish the internet would stop cutting out and just run smoothly.GRANTED! It now runs at a smooth, steady, RELIABLE... 56 kbps! Have fun web surfing like it's 1999! :devil:

I wish for the Jack-booted thugs that run Montgomery County, Maryland to all die in a fire! :pissed:

[Magpie]

Granted! It's the same one that takes out the rest of North America.

I wish I had one of those Nelson Eddie pizzas, with cheese (or good vegan substitute thereof) that I can eat.

[Teysa]

Granted! Unfortunately, it's all you can eat. Ever.

I wish work would stop cutting my hours.

[Magpie]

Granted! You're working 161 hours next week.

I wish that people would stop serving hot dogs and hamburgers for the pot lucks and just put the effort into serving something nice.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! everyone shows up with Quiche Florentine and Cornish Game Hens. They mock you for the tray of squares you brought.

I wish that my back and tummy didn't hurt

[Green_Fairy]

granted! now your knees and elbows are killing you

i wish i had an even burning grill

[Plaidman]

Granted. However, the flames, while of equal tempature and equal diameater, it is completly around the grill and shoots a mile in the air. Have fun cooking.


I wish I had some decent food besides ramen.

[NateTheChops]

Granted. However, the flames, while of equal tempature and equal diameater, it is completly around the grill and shoots a mile in the air. Have fun cooking.


I wish I had some decent food besides ramen.

Granted. Chef Ramsay taught you how to cook a feast but went apeshit on you when you dropped a spoon so you wound up in prison for beating him senseless.

I wish for world peace.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Whirled peas (http://media.photobucket.com/image/whirled%20peas/SiegfriedVonFunk/WhirledPeas.jpg), you say?

I wish I knew what to do with my lfe.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You know exactly what to do, but now How to do it.

I wish I wasn't in pain. :(

[NateTheChops]

Granted! You know exactly what to do, but now How to do it.

I wish I wasn't in pain. :(

Granted. You're dead.

I wish Chinese buffet's weren't so expensive.

[Magpie]

Granted! They're 25 cents a head, and all the local homeless guys who are off their meds show up every meal.

I wish that being a girl didn't involve so much painful grooming.

[hinakiba777]

Granted. Grooming is now painless but you have to do ten times as many things.

I wish that i hadn't been sick on my two days off.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. Now you're sick for two days and have to work.

I wish I could finish up this fanfic tonght so I can start on another one. . .

[Green_Fairy]

granted! everyone dies and no one likes it ^_^

i wish i knew why it feels like i got punched in the shoulder

[taurinejunkie]

Because you just got punched in the shoulder. Let me find whoever did that and cause them great pain.

I wish I knew what the fck is wrong with me.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! you have cancer...of the pinky!
it must be amputated

i wish i was a water bender.

[Plaidman]

Granted! You have the magical power of bending water. As long as you use curved pipes to bend running water.

I wish just that something good would happen to me.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You are my friend. :D (It's funny because it's true. I am a good friend to have)

I wish that my Magsafe Adapter hadn't stopped working. (That's the cord that powers my laptop and charges the battery)

[Magpie]

Granted! Your laptop died instead.

I wish that I knew how to fix my dress back.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You know how to fix your dress back but have forgotten how to sew.

I wis hthe giant moth would go away. And all bugs would stay out of my hotel. :cry:

[Rantsylvania 6-5000]

Granted! It's been replaced with a rat infestation!

I wish I could take a trip to Ireland.

[Magpie]

Granted! But the volcano erupts again, cancelling all trans-Atlantic flights.

I wish my parents hadn't had their tour of Ireland cancelled.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! Their plane crashes into the ocean because the pilot flew through the volanic ash

I wish I wasn't so tired.,

[Mytical]

granted, but now you can never sleep, stop moving, or rest..ever.

I wish I had my own book deal.

[Magpie]

Granted. But you also have writer's block.

I wish that physio wasn't so bloody painful.

[C. Cecil Ivanish]

Granted. But now everything ELSE is.

I wish I had a window with a view in the office.

[Magpie]

Granted! You have a view of the petrochemical tank farm.

I wish computers weren't so random and confusing.

[C. Cecil Ivanish]

Granted. But now they are only pedal-powered.

I wish all customers were smart.

[Magpie]

Granted! But because only smart people can be customers, there aren't enough customers to keep your job open.

I wish that it was going home time already.

[hinakiba777]

Granted but going back to work time is your driving time both ways plus 15 minutes

I wish that there were storesa and services that are open to coincide with my nocturnal schedule. (Night shift stops me from getting anythign done)

[C. Cecil Ivanish]

I wish that there were stores and services that are open to coincide with my nocturnal schedule. (Night shift stops me from getting anything done)
Granted. But immediately you get moved to day shift.

I wish that my boss gave me a major pay rise with no added responsibilities.

[Magpie]

Granted! You get a pay increase equal to 0.8 of your cost of living increase.

I wish my fridge had enough room for all my food.

[hinakiba777]

Granted. but the older stuff keeps getting pushed to the back and goes bad releasing mold spores into your house and KILLING you

I wish that my father's company would hire me to work 40 hours a wek for the year. Paying me the 21 dollars an hour it pays all it's new employees.

[Magpie]

Granted! But you get to work with Idiot from Lupo's store, Numbnuts from Irv's, and with a selection of vacation_rentals_suck's clients.

I wish dressing like a girl wasn't such a PITA.

[hinakiba777]

Granted. It's not longer a PITA. It's just a Major Headache.

I wish that the copy of the game I want will still be at the store when I go to pick up the game i ordered.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I wish that the copy of the game I want will still be at the store when I go to pick up the game i ordered.

Granted. But the person in front of you in line gets the last copy.

I wish it wasn't so hot for this party I'm going to tonight.

[Plaidman]

I wish it wasn't so hot for this party I'm going to tonight.

Granted. A freak flood makes it so no-one can go.


I wish I had the energy to do todays chores.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. Now you have no energy left for tonight's Pervfest activities.

I wish I didn't feel so sticky out here on the deck tonight.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! you're slimy instead

i wish i had an ein

[hinakiba777]

Granted! But because this super intelligent Corgie from the future is smarter than you, he runs away to live with Bounty Hunters. (Ein? (http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/io9/2009/06/ein03small.jpg))

I wish I didn't have to work Night shifts anymore.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. However there is sunlight 24/7 and there is no night anymore.

I wish my store manager didn't come back from vacation today . . .

[Nurian]

Granted! The manager came back yesterday and you already have 3 write-ups!

I wish I could make food appear out of thin air.

[hinakiba777]

Granted@ but it has no taste and no sustenance.

I wish people would stop calling my house when I'm sleeping.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! they call you when you aren't there instead. and don't leave messages.

i wish i lived in a nice house with no one around for at least 2 miles in any direction

[hinakiba777]

Granted! No one hears you screaming when the monsters come to get you on the fateful night.

I wish that my new awesome friend would go on a date with me. ^-^

[Dave1982]

Granted! However his ex shows up and causes an embarrassing scene, ruining the date. :p

I wish my car would stop coming up with new rattles every time I get the previous rattle fixed.

[Magpie]

Granted! It falls apart instead.

I wish my paper would write itself AND get accepted into a real journal.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! LiveJournal is happy to have it!

I wish I was a better cook.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! you're a fantastic cook, but no one likes what you make

i wish i had some yummy pizza

[hinakiba777]

Granted, but you are allergic to something on it so you get horribly sick.

I wish my game would come in tomorrow so I can go buy it

[ZedOmega]

Granted, but a traffic jam on the way to the store results in you missing out on the last copy.

I wish I had a bottle of cheap whiskey right now.

[Magpie]

Granted. One bottle of rot gut coming right up.

I wish I didn't hate drinking so much.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You're an alcoholic!

I wish that getting headaches didn't make me feel sick to my stomach.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! But getting sick to your stomach gives you a headache.

I wish Ex would stop being a lying a$$hole and just pay me.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! I'm not corrupting that because that your shitty ex should just pay you. >.<

I wish that I knew what to do with my hair.

[Dave1982]

Granted! You know you need to cut it all off.

I wish we had more payroll.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! I'm not corrupting that because that your shitty ex should just pay you. >.<

Thanks :) I appreciate that!

I wish we had more payroll.

Granted. You now get paid in rolls.


I wish the weather would stay like this.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. Now it's cloudy and raining nonstop.

I wish I could have a new store manager

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted. You get Store1's old manager who just got fired. I hear she's a real peach! Enjoy!

I wish I hadn't hit my elbow. Ow.

[Dave1982]

Granted, you banged your head instead.

I wish I had an orange slushie.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! It was thrown in your face like on Glee.

I wish I could run more.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You can run a lot, but only in one direction. It means you can never go home again.

I wish that there wasn't a hold put on ABM deposits so I could pay my bills.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. But it was deposited into someone else's account and all your bills bounced. Bummer.:(

I wish I could stay up all night and write. . . .

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! But the writer's cramp permanently disfigures your hands and it is the last night you ever spend writing.

I wish people with loud engines would stop driving past my building.

[Dave1982]

Granted! They drive to your building and stop, revving continuously right outside your window. :devil:

I wish to know how my friend really feels about me.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! Your friend hates you. They have just been pretending to like you so they can steal your TV.

I wish I wasn't so tired at work.

[Mytical]

Granted. You have all the energy you could ever want for 40 hours a week (but only when working). As soon as you are off work, or the 40 hours of work has passed, you have NO energy.

I wish I had more courage.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! you're so courageous, you try to stop and armed robbery and you end up getting shot

i wish they'd start the next season of torchwood already

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! But it's moved to a channel you don't get.

I wish my laundry was done.

[Green_Fairy]

Granted! But it's moved to a channel you don't get.
lol about that...i don't actually get any bbc channel, so i watch it all online


I wish my laundry was done.
granted! you accidentally threw in a red sock and now all your whites are pink and you're out of bleach

i wish i didn't have to go to work today

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. Your store went out of business so you don't have to go back ever.

I wish it weren't so hot so I could go outside on the deck.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! there's 7 feet of snow and more is falling

i wish The Boy could come home for a weekend so i can get some cuddle time in

[Dave1982]

Granted, but when he gets there, this happens:

zr9Pmc3YSAs


I wish I could skip tomorrow and go right to Tuesday.

[Mytical]

Granted, but now you will relive that same Tuesday for eternity.

I wish I had a teleporter.

[ZedOmega]

Sure thing. The second you use it, someone telefrags you. Good night.

I wish I had some beer right now.

[Magpie]

Granted, but it's gone skunky.

I wish my dress had turned out.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted. It turned out terrible.

I wish I had some dinner.

[Dave1982]

Granted. Tonight we're serving fresh gagh (http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Gagh). Enjoy! (for non Star Trek fans, be warned that the link is on the gross side).

I wish I could relive this day over and over (I had a very good day).

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but you're reliving it in the body of someone that had a really shitty day

i wish i knew what to do

[Magpie]

Granted! You know what to do, but it something you really don't want to do.

I wish I had the motivation to do my work.

[Dave1982]

Granted! You are now highly motivated to work, but this comes at the expense of your boss's motivation to pay you. :devil:

I wish I had a delicious slice of strawberry rhubarb pie. :D

[Magpie]

Granted. But it was made with no sugar (cookies for the reference)

And pay? What is this pay of which you speak (grad student, after tuition I make about half full-time minimum wage). Actually I make more than that. But my supervisor isn't paying me - I got a scholarship.

I wish I could get that scholarship again.

[hinakiba777]

Granted. But the criteria to keep it are so impossible you've been forced to give up sleep and food.

I wish I had a job lined up for the fall.

[chrislb]

granted. but you get paid in bison bucks and your boss flees the country.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. However it's already due . . . with interest. Sucks.

I wish I could be someone else for a week.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! You're Justin Bieber!

I wish my car didn't break down.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. It went out after you went to bed and totaled another car instead. Should have locked it in the garage.

I wish my acid reflux wouldn't give me such a fit.

[Dave1982]

Granted! Your acid reflux is cured, but you are now beset with migraines. :devil:

I wish I could think of a cool wish.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! You might want to grab a sweater...

I wish I had some black printer ink to give my roommate.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but it's the wrong type of cartridge

i wish everyone i worked with actually knew what they were doing instead of following me around

[Mytical]

Granted, but they then decide to go work elsewhere, and you get to train new employees that are all EWs.

I wish that I no longer feared crowds.

[BookstoreEscapee]

granted! but it's the wrong type of cartridge

Hehe, that's actually true. I have two black ink cartridges for my printer but they don't work with hers. ;)

I wish that I no longer feared crowds.

Granted. Crowds fear you.

I wish I had better eating habits.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. Now your habits are eating you.

I wish I could fire my store manager out of a cannon and into the sun strapped to a rocket.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! But you still get sent to jail for doing it.

I wish the girl at the Pizza place had remember to send the debit on delivery machine with my pizza.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! Your card is declined.

I wish the bugs would stop biting me.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! Now they just climb all over!

I wish I could go on a date with my friend Jesse.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! Now they just climb all over!

I wish I could go on a date with my friend Jesse.Granted! But he and his date don't appreciate having a "third wheel" tagging along! :p

I wish my feet would stop hurting so much. WTF is up with that this week? :confused:

[Teysa]

Granted. -*hits Jack over the head* Now you have a headache instead :devil:
I wish I didn't have to drive to work with the sun in my eyes everyday.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted. You have to drive home with the sun in your eyes every day.

I wish I had gotten more cleaning done today.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You got it all on, then your friend tracked mud all through your house.

I wish the freezer hadn't melted, and ruined my pizza.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. Now your pizza has melted and ruined the freezer.

I wish the weather would make up its mind whether it's going to rain all day or not.

[Magpie]

Granted. Better start on that ark.

I wish my eyelets would sew themselves (including the ones that I've already done, they should be prettier)

[hinakiba777]

Granted! They place themselves Willy Nilly on your project,

I wish I didn't have to write cover letters to apply for jobs

[Magpie]

Granted! You are stuck in a dead-end job that is resume death. Ergo you never need to apply for jobs.

I wish my waist was bigger. (I hate women's clothing).

[hinakiba777]

GRANTED! All my excess weight is transferred to your tummy. So you waist is MUCH bigger, and i"m in shape. (self-serving corruption)

I wish that my new dress fit. :( (it's too small)

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. Now you've lost so much weight that NOTHING fits on you.:p

I wish I didn't have to cook dinner tonight . . .:(

[Dave1982]

Granted! You go out to eat instead but end up with a horrible case of food poisoning. :devil:

I wish my flat tire would fix itself.

[hinakiba777]

Granted. Now you've lost so much weight that NOTHING fits on you.:p
Technically, I wished the dress would fit, not that I'd lose weight.

I wish my flat tire would fix itself.

Granted. It overfills itself and screws up your wheel alignment.

I wish I was done with Working NIght shift forever.

[Dave1982]

Granted. You are abruptly switched to day shift with no time to adjust your sleeping schedule. In fact, your first day shift starts right after your last night shift.

I wish I had an orange icee.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Technically, I wished the dress would fit, not that I'd lose weight.

Fine, it fits, bit the color is just terrible on you...

I wish I had an orange icee.

Granted! That seagull flying above decided he wants it too.

I wish my eyes weren't bugging me so much.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! Your eyes aren't bugging you, they are BUGS!

I wish that my birthday celebrations will be awesome

[Sarlon]

GRANTED!!! 90 people show up....none of whom you remotely know....get drunk....and kick you from your own awsome party.

I wish it didn't feel like saturday

[Dave1982]

Well, ok, if you insist.....GRANTED! It's MONDAY! EVERYDAY!!

("Way to go, Al....")

I wish I hadn't had to wait 3 hours at Sears for a simple flat repair today.

[NateTheChops]

Well, ok, if you insist.....GRANTED! It's MONDAY! EVERYDAY!!

("Way to go, Al....")

I wish I hadn't had to wait 3 hours at Sears for a simple flat repair today.

Granted. You now have to wait about four weeks.

I wish I didn't have to wait a full year to get Salem's fortune telling lisence.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but you can only pick up the license after you foresee it

i wish i had more energy to do stuff

[Whiskey]

granted! but you can only pick up the license after you foresee it

i wish i had more energy to do stuff

Granted! You're now addicted to amphetamines.


I wish I had a dvd burner :(

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

As you wish. Just stick your DVD in the slot and in a few seconds, you'll receive a nice handful of ash in return.

I wish Moon Unit was no longer in charge of making my schedule.

[NateTheChops]

Granted. Numbuts is your boss now and he's in charge of every aspect of your job, indcluding but not limited to, your schedule.

I wish to find an affordable place to live somewhere in the Salem area.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. But it's already occupied. . .might want to start collecting cardboard.

I wish I could get the energy to get this deck swept off . . .

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but then the deck ninjas come down and an epic fight ensues because you're sweeping off their sacred dust

i wish tomorrow doesn't suck

[Dave1982]

Granted. It blows

(that was too easy)

I wish BTS was over.

[ParkingWitch]

I wish BTS was over.

Granted, and Happy Christmas


I wish for a quiet day.

[NateTheChops]

Granted, and Happy Christmas


I wish for a quiet day.

Granted. Everyone around you has disappeared and now you're alone...with your books...and your perscription glasses just broke so you can no longer read them.

I wish Chef Ramsey would open a restaraunt in Salem.

[Dave1982]

I wish Chef Ramsey would open a restaraunt in Salem.

Granted, but there's not a thing on the menu that you like and it's all hideously overpriced.

In a similar vein, I wish I could do an F-Word Recipe Challenge against Gordon to see if my Original Famous cookies really are the best. :D

[NateTheChops]

Granted. But a customer is deathly allergic to a ingredient within your cookies and the restaraunt winds up being sued, thus leading to you being sued. Ramsay's lawyer has a bigger potty mouth than he does.

I wish there was an art supply store around here.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! But everything is insanely expensive.

I wish I hadn't drunk dialed my male friend last night and left a message.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. You're six feet under so it's quiet FOREVER.

I wish I could have been a fly on the wall yesterday at work to see Snoopy running his ass off back and forth to the back door to check in the rest of the deliveries after I had to leave early.:wave:

[hinakiba777]

Granted! But you're stuck as a fly forever.

I wish I knew what DC's response has to do with my earlier wish

[Sarlon]

GRANTED!!!!! its cookies!

I wish my last load of laundry was in the dryer and started already so I can go to bed.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted. All your bedding is in that load.

I wish this thing would be done already!

[Magpie]

Granted, but the next two things start up immediately, and they're worse.

I wish my calls were over and done with.