Idiotic questions or comments...

[FastFoodFlunky]

Have any of you had drunk or high customers that made absolutely senseless or stupid comments or questions?

I had this guy on July 4th.

A fellow female coworker of mine was taking orders in drive-thru and making the drinks for the orders while another coworker got the food ready. It was the late night rush and she had many drinks to catch up on. She said to a customer over the speaker "I'll be with you in just a second" and he said "Alrighhh." Seeing how backed up she was, I came over the speaker and said "Thank you for waiting. What can I get for you?"

His response?

"Woah...dude...you were like, totally a girl just a second ago."

:headdesk: :headdesk: :headdesk:

He ordered a combo with a sprite.

He pulls up to the window to get his food, and as I hand the Sprite over to him, he looks down at the cup and says "Dude, I never ordered a water!"

Hang on..I just need a few more bangs..:headdesk:

Anyone experience something similar?

[sarahj]

I think we're on the same wavelength... on overnight shifts, I serve heaps of drunk people. Most drunk guys just hit on me, though, usually in an attempt to get free food, which is never gonna happen!

[Broomjockey]

Probably the stupidest question is when people come late to their movie, I tell them it is 10 minutes into the movie, PAST the previews, and then they ask, "yeah, but that's just the previews right? It's not into the movie yet."
:rant:
And then there's the people who ask for change. We just got new tills that only open when we make a sale. Someone asks me for change, I inform them of that, and then they immediately get po'ed and stalk off, ignoring the fact that there are 5 people behind them waiting to purchase something. Out of the dozens of people who have asked, ONE was smart enough to realize that, and asked, "Then can I get change after they buy something?"
I told him yes, to reward his obviously above average customer IQ.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Me on phone: Kinko's, open 24 hours. How can I help you?
Idiot: What time do you open in the morning?
Me::rolleyes: We're open 24 hours.
Idiot:So, what time do you close?
Me::headscratch: We are open round the clock. We do not close.
Idiot: So, are you open on the weekends?

Kill me. Not only have I had this conversation, but I've had it MANY MANY times, and in many different incarnations. I'd say the most common thing people asked, upon hearing that particular greeting was "How late are you open" or some variation thereof.

Here's another common one:

Old Fart with crossword puzzle (I have quite a bit of respect for the elderly, but I calls it like I sees it. Sunday morning we had a lot of elderly that happened to be Old Farts.): I want you to blow this up so I can read it easier.

Me: Okay. How large would you like it?

Old Fart: Eh, I dunno. Just make the words bigger.

Me: Okay. I can put it onto a larger sheet for you.

Old Fart: No, I don't want larger paper, I want the same size paper.

Me: What part do you want to crop out?

Old Fart: None! I want to whole thing. I just want it bigger.

Me: Well, sir, you have to have bigger paper if you want it copied larger. Your puzzle fills the entire sheet here.

Old Fart: Get someone over here who knows what the hell they are doing!

Me: Okay. Which one of these trainees would you like to help you?

This phenomenon is not limited to old people. Young people do it, too. You'd be astounded. It's just that older folks used to bring in their crosswords and crosstitch patterns and then get crabby more often.

Heres' one from my waitress days:

"Can you get me some pasta fagioli with no beans?" (pasta fagioli means pasta and BEANS. )

Dumb lines/conversations that really used to piss me off at Kinko's:

"Can I get it right now or will I have to wait a second?" Arrgh.

Me: When do you need it?
SC: As soon as possible.
Me: When is that?
SC As soon as possible!
Me: Okay, next month okay?
SC: No! I need it sooner than that!
Me: That's what I thought. When do you need it?


"I need it on bond paper. " (It's ALL bond paper, okay? There's a hundred different types of it here. Idiots.)

"I need 7 copies of a 500 page paper on cotton paper. Can I get it now? I've got five minutes to get to turn in my thesis paper."

"Can you do it for me out in self-serve?"

[pbmods]

"Thank you for calling (company) on (first street) and (second street), my name is (your name), how can I help you today?"
"Yes, is this the (company) on (first street) and (second street)?"

[Becks]

This phone call will be played by a pretty girl (me) and some asshat who doesn't listen (basically, any one of a lot of customers).

Me: West Allis Goodwill Store and Donation Center, BeckySunshine speaking. How may I help you?

Asshat: Is this the Goodwill Store?

Me: Yes.

Asshat: Do you take donations?

Me: (long suffering mental sigh) Yes.

Asshat: And where are you located?

:hairpull:

[theredbaron47]

Me: West Allis Goodwill Store and Donation Center, BeckySunshine speaking. How may I help you?

Asshat: Is this the Goodwill Store?

Me: Yes.

Asshat: Do you take donations?

Me: (long suffering mental sigh) Yes.

Asshat: And where are you located?

See now, the way I prefer to look at it in order to retain my sanity is to tell myself that in situations such as these, this customer is filling the time gap where a truly sucky customer could have gone. A customer such as this, while obviously an idiot who doesn't listen or pay attention, is harmless.

But worth a few :headdesk: :headdesk: :headdesk: at the very least, anyway.

[South Texan]

From when I worked at Six Flags Over Texas, an amusement park in the Dallas/Fort Worth area:

Where is Sleeping Beauty’s Castle? Where is Pirates of the Caribbean? Where is It’s a Small World? Where is Space Mountain? Where can we meet Mickey Mouse?

Sometimes it took a while to convince them they were NOT in Disneyland in California or The Magic Kingdom in Florida. Then half the time they got mad and blamed me for their not knowing where they were. ("You mean we drove two hours to get here and you're not Disney? You have RUINED our vacation!")

Come on people. There were no Disney references or characters ANYWHERE in our advertisements or at the park entrance. If you are going to shell out the dough to go to an amusement park, you might check to make sure it is the one you want to visit before you make the trip or buy your ticket.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

"Can you get me some pasta fagioli with no beans?" (pasta fagioli means pasta and BEANS. )

Ha ha, that's like ordering a cheeseburger without cheese!:roll:

One time I had some kids come into the store and ask me seriously "Where's your porn?"

I said "In the backroom, and only people who work here get to look at it."

Then they were all like "Cool! I want to work here!"

[Yossarian]

"Thank you for calling (company) on (first street) and (second street), my name is (your name), how can I help you today?"
"Yes, is this the (company) on (first street) and (second street)?"

Now, to be fair, a lot of times the employee is so sick of saying the same thing over and over that they say it so fast as to be unintelligable.

My first job, we were supposed to answer the phone with something like "Thank you for calling Best Co. of Boulder, where we have our 90 day low price match guarantee. This is Yossarian speaking, how may I help you." Of course, no one really cared about our 90 day guarantee, so we just tried to get it over as soon as possible. But then some people would just say "What was that?" and we'd have to repeat the whole damn thing. :banghead:

[RecoveringKinkoid]

That Six Flags story has me just shaking my head. These people can vote. And drive. Which would explain a lot about the world.

Kinko's does close for short stints on major holidays. We are talking hours here, not days. We closed at 4pm on (I think it was) New Year Eve or something. Just as we locked the door, a lady started banging on it, saying (and this is my all time favorite stupid thing to say) "I just drove all the way up here from the Hampton street fountain."

That is within walking distance of the Kinko's. Seriously, driving from there would take something like 3 minutes, if that. You'll spend more time trying to find a place to park than it will take you to travel that distance in a car.

We didn't let her in, of course. And oddly, felt no guilt. :angel:

[Imogene]

Then they were all like "Cool! I want to work here!"

Where exactly do you work?

[Nick]

This phone call will be played by a pretty girl (me) and some asshat who doesn't listen (basically, any one of a lot of customers).

Me: West Allis Goodwill Store and Donation Center, BeckySunshine speaking. How may I help you?

Asshat: Is this the Goodwill Store?

Me: Yes.

Asshat: Do you take donations?

Me: (long suffering mental sigh) Yes.

Asshat: And where are you located?

:hairpull:
You are from West Allis, WI? I'm from Hartland, WI. Funny thing, I will be in West Allis all weekend at a buddy of mines house :)

[aqutalion]

Ha ha, that's like ordering a cheeseburger without cheese!:roll:

I actually had someone order a cheeseburger without cheese once while I was working at McD's. Then again, they had a reason. They had a coupon for a free cheeseburger, but only wanted a hamburger. I still had to ring it up as a cheeseburger for the coupon to go through.

[Titi]

Me on phone: Kinko's, open 24 hours. How can I help you?
Idiot: What time do you open in the morning?
Me::rolleyes: We're open 24 hours.
Idiot:So, what time do you close?
Me::headscratch: We are open round the clock. We do not close.
Idiot: So, are you open on the weekends?

Kill me. Not only have I had this conversation, but I've had it MANY MANY times, and in many different incarnations. I'd say the most common thing people asked, upon hearing that particular greeting was "How late are you open" or some variation thereof.



I feel you about that one. I even had people argue with me that the store was not opened 24 hours and I was lying to them.

[toolbert]

I actually had someone order a cheeseburger without cheese once while I was working at McD's. Then again, they had a reason. They had a coupon for a free cheeseburger, but only wanted a hamburger. I still had to ring it up as a cheeseburger for the coupon to go through.

just like these hamburger stories, my friend had the best ones at in and out in San Jose. We were up pretty late, thought In and Out would be good to get and stroll into the store. I order mine, then he steps up and places his order. I almost died laughing after I heard it and saw the servers face. He ordered a Double Double, animal style and no onions. For those of you who know what that is...let it soak in.....ok, got it? For those who don't know, animal style is where they take the onions and grill them with a bit of mustard (or their thousand island secret sauce) and put them on the burger. So basically, he was asking them to just make the onions then toss em. I still get him with jokes of that everytime I see him.

[Mr. Rager!]

I don't think I've had to deal with any high or drunk people, but I do get my fair share of stupid questions. I just stopped pretending like it's ok to be dumb.

Me: Lawn and Garden, can I help you?
SC: Is this long and garden?
Me: That is what I said... what can I help you with?
SC: Are you open?
Me: We don't answer the phone when we're closed, so I'd say yes.
SC: Ok, I need...

Me: Now this is a four-cycle engine, so you won't have to mix the gas and oil. Just use straight 30 weight oil.
SC: So, what kind of oil mixture will I need to use?
Me: Like I said before, just straight 30 weight because it's a four-cycle engine.

At my other job

Me: I got those reports entered into the database, and I'm working on your dictations.
Dr: Did you get those reports into the database?
Me: I believe that's what I said.
Dr: Oh... you did say that. Sorry.

[Bella_Vixen]

I think I posted this on one of the old boards but...

Last summer, there was a bad thunderstorm that knocked out the power in some locals around here. One of the affected areas was the neighborhood up the hill behind my gas station. Anyways...I wander into work (our electricity was just fine, thank you), and everything was going just fine.

Keep in mind that ALL the lights (inside and out) were on.
I was ringing up customers as fast as I could.
The pumps were in use.
Our store radio was BLARING.
Etc.

This one guys comes in, looks around, and says...


Wait for it.


"Is your electricity on?"

:headdesk:

[werewolffan98]

At a Renaissance Faire,

SC1: is that sword real? Can i touch it?

ME: Yes. No you may not or you'll get cut and sue us.

SC2: Are you people like the Amish?

ME: no.:roll: :banghead:

Sc3: where are the privies?

ME: how bad do you have to go because there was a huge sign in back of me saying privies.:lol:

[theredbaron47]

*customer walks in the door, walks PAST the aisle full of nothing but light bulbs, and walks up to me at the service desk, BEYOND the light bulb aisle*

"Where are your light bulbs?"

:headdesk:

[stickycoins]

How much is this?(holding up a 2 liter of Coke while standing right in front of the display that says in HUGE numbers that it's $1.19):headdesk:

[FastFoodFlunky]

Today, I was taking orders in drive-thru. This lady ordered just a Frosty. She wanted me to make SURE it was chocolate because the last time she came here, "we gave her vanilla."

......Wendy's has only had chocolate Frostys since the first store opened 36 years ago :headdesk:

(OT: But for those who don't know, Wendy's is getting the vanilla Frosty starting next month!)

When she came to the window, she was a rather pleasant elderly lady, so I simply shrugged it off and thought she probably had us confused with Burger King across the street.

[CherryCokeKissez]

We do have one stoner that stands out in my memory...he didn't really say anything incoherent or senseless except for one thing...
He came in with his buddy, who did all the talking, and we sat them down in a booth (good thing too, Stoner was so wobbly he might have fallen out of a chair!). About ten minutes or so after they sat down, Stoner goes to the bathroom. His friend stays at the table as Stoner wanders to the bathroom (which we have to point out to him) by himself. When he gets back to the bathroom, he wobbles back over to us and asks, "Do you know where my boy is?"
I look over at his table, his friend hasn't moved.
Me: "He's over there, at your table."

Then he got up again, wandered around outside, someone (not any of the employees) called the cops on him, the cops showed up because of a report of "a drunk guy wandering around in the back of the lot", by this time his friend had gone out to get him, brought him back and Stoner has fallen asleep in the booth and is just about to fall over when the cops showed up! They escourt both of the guys out, though both cops and guys hang around outside for a bit, then eventually they all leave and the restaurant goes back to being very dead.

[Imogene]

Hmmm...
Old story, but still f*cking bizarre...

A hint to the clueless, I worked in a 'Movie Store', says so right in the name.

One day, I was standing toward the back of the store, talking to the old SM about something (forget what), as it's stone dead. In walks a middle aged, balding guy, and he walks through the store, right past the homophobic AM, who was standing behind the counter, just kind of existing (and only 'kind of'). Guy walks right up to me, having walked through the entirety of the store, minus a few feet, and asked:
"Do you guys sell furniture?"

Shall I remove the blinders for you, sir? You just walked between the racks of MOvies we sell here...?

Guy waits a moment before continuing with something vaguely resembling:
"I mean, like, director's chairs? Or popcorn machines?"

*blink, blink* Okay, director's chairs I can see, but popcorn machines are NOT furniture. But at least he did kind of have a reasonin behind his mind killer question.

[JustAGirl]

Probably the stupidest question is when people come late to their movie, I tell them it is 10 minutes into the movie, PAST the previews, and then they ask, "yeah, but that's just the previews right? It's not into the movie yet."

I could see why they said that though, I mean, if you said "you won't miss the movie, you'll just miss the previews" I don't think they would say that. When you say its "10 minutes into the movie" that makes ME think that I've just missed 10 minutes of the movie...

[Dips]

This question was asked of a American Revolution re-enactor at the soldiers' encampment:

[Pointing] Is that a real fire?

Nope. It's just an incredibly realistic audio-animatronic of a fire. It was expensive and quite tricky to program (not to mention the logistics for getting Boston Edison to run an underground electric cable to the middle of this corn field to power the thing; the electric meter is hidden under the seat in the outhouse; you can see it if you stick your head in the hole).

We're very proud of how realistic it came out. It even smells like the real thing. It doesn't give off any heat, though. You can stick you hand in and not even feel it. :devil:

[Tikki]

When I worked at a large arcade at the local amusement park, I was always getting asked where our change machines were. I'd point to the one at the end of a bank of video games, not 20 feet from my station, in direct line of sight and tell them, "There." Nine times out of ten, they wandered right on past it.

[AFpheonix]

My favorite from this last week was a lady who managed to get past the automated greeting, "Thank you for calling your 24 hour Walgreens, located at blah blah, with convenient drive through service....", managed to get to me, with my standard greeting, "Walgreens pharmacy, this is Phe, how can I help you?"
To which she asked "Who did I call? Oh! I think I have the wrong number!" and hung up. :confused:

Plus the countless hordes that call to ask our hours, or the people that walk under the huge "24 hours" sign and ask us when we close, blah blah
(Although, in there defence, there are groceries that are 24 hours in which the pharmacies close sooner)

[batmoody]

*customer walks in the door, walks PAST the aisle full of nothing but light bulbs, and walks up to me at the service desk, BEYOND the light bulb aisle*

"Where are your light bulbs?"

:headdesk:
When a customer asks us where something is, we are required to ask if they would like us to show them. I love it when they ask about something that is like a foot away. I get to say, "It's right here (pointing). Would you like me to show you?" They have to think I am being a smart ass, but it is required that I make that "offer".
They wouldn't want the employees to actually paractice any discretion.

[Primer]

This question was asked of a American Revolution re-enactor at the soldiers' encampment:

[Pointing] Is that a real fire?

We do a lot of Civil War era stuff and have a working replica of an 1841 Napoleonic 6-lb smooth bore cannon.

We get, "Is it real?" all the time.

Yes, it's a real replica.

Yes, it shoots.

No, we will not be shooting live rounds today, just blanks.

Yes, we have shot live rounds.

No, we are not going to shoot it while we are IN the parade.

No you may NOT stand in front of the barrel when we do shoot it, even if we are shooting only blanks (although, I may really, really want to let you :flame:).

Yes, we are hot wearing wool in Texas in the summer. Wool does not burn, it smoulders, and is easily extinguished.

No, you may not play with the black powder or the friction primers.

Any other (SC) questions?

[Imogene]

How about all the people who would come into the Chesterfield store, and ask us if we had 'this game' or 'that game'?
M: "No... we're a movie store..."
Them: "GameStop told me to come down here..."
M: *thinking* "Really? GameStop told you to leave their video game store, and go check out a video store to see if they have the game that isn't out yet, or they don't have any copies of? Why don't I believe that? I'd say, more likely, you didn't get what you wanted at GameStop, and figured you would check our store to see if we had any, but we don't sell video games..." *said* "No, we've never sold video games."

[AmericanZero8503]

My favorite CS response is "Are You Kidding me?"

Me: Sorry we don't cash personal checks?
CS: Are you kidding me?

Me: Sorry I cannot give you a cash refund without a reciept
CS: Are you kidding me?

Sometimes I wonder if I come off as a practical jokester. Like I'm going to change my mind and be like, "Yeah I was just messing around. Here let me cash your check that you bounced last week!"