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View Full Version : The relationship is officially over


Knightmare
12-08-2006, 05:53 AM
Isn't that always fun? For a while now, my ex-girlfriend and I have been trying to make things work. It was working for some time, and then it all the work seem to be coming from one side; mine.

I think it all started going down hill when a coworker of hers started hanging out with her. A guy, of course, whom I'll call "Jeff." At first she told me not to worry; he was going through a divorce with his wife (they have kids, and she suddenly found out she is actually a lesbian! :wtf: ) Anyway, there were 3 of them that would hang out; the gf, the guy and another woman from work. I thought nothing of it. Just friends going out, relieving some stress from a very stressful job.
Then Jeff started coming over. They'd watch movies (my daughter and her son from a previous marriage [but I think of him as mine] live with her). Again, no big whoop.

Then the ex and my kids would go out with Jeff and his kids. Ok, a play date. Jeff has some daughters a few years older than my daughter, and it gave my daughter some actual interaction with kids her age group. I was cool with that. Then it started happening almost every weekend. If I didn't have the kids, they would all go out and do something together.

One time I came over after work, and who was she on the Nextel with? Jeff. The whole time I was there. Talking about nothing, really. Just comparing the people on "Dancing with the Stars"... silly crap like that. But what irked me is that she only said about 5 words to me the whole time.

So this went on for a while, and I finally brought it up. She told me not to worry; she and Jeff are only friends, nothing more. I was starting to get jealous, and let her know how I felt. She said "Sorry you feel that way."

I don't recall exactly when, but it got to the point where she wouldn't answer her phone when I called. Always voice mail. Sometimes she'd call back, most of the time not. And when I did get her on the phone, and if I mentioned ANYTHING about Jeff, she would (and still does) get defensive.

One night he came over, upset and distraught about his divorce. She comforted him, talked to him. Ok, again, no big deal. The big deal was when he stayed the night and slept next to her in her bed! My "son" told me about that. I didn't say anything, and still haven't. I was way too upset. No, PISSED about it. But he now gives me regular updates if I want them. But what worries me is what happens on the weekends when he is with his dad?

I was over there the other night, and she was talking about Jeff. I made a very vague comment about them sleeping together, and she said that what happens in her sex life is none of my business. Ok, your sex life is supposed to be with ME!

Like I said, I knew for awhile that this wasn't working. She knows I'm still in love with her. Her parents love me to death, and her son considers me like another father (Remember the show "My Two Dads?"). We have been together for almost 7 years, and this is how it ends; her dating an alcoholic divorced guy on the rebound.

Yeah, I'm hurt. Depressed, angry, upset.. all of those. And my kids are in the middle of it. Especially my daughter. That's what upsets me the most. She sees Jeff more than she sees me!

Sorry for the depressed rant.

Mighty Girl
12-08-2006, 06:07 AM
I have no words of wisdom that will make you feel better, all I can offer is sympathy.

blas
12-10-2006, 02:47 AM
You know I'm the official Dr. Heartbreak here, if there's anything you want to talk about, feel free to PM me. I have never been married and don't have children, but I know what it's like to be head over heels for someone who has a "friend" and all of a sudden that friend becomes their whole world and la la la la la........and then it ends.

This is a horrible situation. I wonder this every single day of my life.......why are all the kind hearted people unlucky in love and always get the shaft, and all the backstabbing, cheating, horrible people always end up getting the lemonade in life????

TNT
12-10-2006, 07:59 AM
why are all the kind hearted people unlucky in love and always get the shaft, and all the backstabbing, cheating, horrible people always end up getting the lemonade in life????


You hit the nail with the phrase "kind hearted people." Some people have a great deal of emotional depth. Others are so shallow that diving in is bound to lead to troubles. Unfortunately, the deep and the shallow tend to find each other.

It's at moments like these that hefty doses of Frank Sinatra are in order... but repeated listening to Lou Reed's "Coney Island Baby" will do in a pinch.

ditchdj
12-10-2006, 06:09 PM
Kids need a stable family environment, if anything. Sounds like your ex needs to grow up and mentally get out age 16. I'd see about getting custody of your daughter from her and find a good level-headed woman (if you can) to settle down with.