I'm becoming a drunk

[blas]

As everyone on here knows, I do have my relationship problems, and they are a plenty.

I used to be able to just shrug them off and just be a proud man hater. I didn't even get disappointed after another 3 day relationship failed after I got cheated on or blown off or whatever.

But the past few failed relationships (or potential relationships) were so failed that I couldn't even get over it in a timely manner. I started becoming a Lindsay Lohan or a Paris Hilton. The second I got shot down or hurt again, I'd pay someone to buy me booze and I'd drink, or I'd find myself calling each and every single person in my phone asking where the party was. I even just did it a few hours ago on myspace because another relationship failed today (and this one was a whopping week and two days!). I got blown off 3 times in a row, I think that's fair enough to end it. I'm so disappointed that nothing ever works out for me, I instantly just want to go out, dance, get extremely drunk, and so on.

I don't drink on days I work (well, that only leaves me two days a week to drink, so that's a good thing). Every day after work, I do have a little bit of bubbly.....but it's not because I'm angry.

I'm scared I'm going to go down a destructive path and turn into an alcoholic like so many of the people on my mother's side of the family (my grampa, great aunt, great uncle, all my 2nd cousins, etc etc).

I don't want to do this but it's the only way I can escape reality. Not only that, but it makes the noises my neighbors make seem a little less........bad.

[Maevis]

Go to http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/meetings/a/blaa.htm find a meeting near you and go there instead of to a party.

Not saying you are an alcoholic, but if it runs in your family it's a very easy path to pour yourself down.

As I'm sure you know, drinking will do nothing to better your relationship skills.
However, hanging around at parties with drunks, will certainly give you plenty of opportunities to start multiple one-night "relationships".

And, honestly, I am not trying to be mean here, but a week or even two weeks does not a relationship make. Ease up on yourself. Ease up on the people you see as potential mates.

It sounds like what you need right now is to focus on taking care of yourself and not worrying about being in a relationship.

[Broomjockey]

I'm going to have to echo that sentiment. Things like alcoholism run in families, so you need to be careful. May I suggest a secondary hobby, like gaming, or maybe taking up a sport like bowling? You never know, find a hobby, you stop looking so hard, you might find someone you enjoy hanging around with.

[Der Cute]

I don't want to do this but it's the only way I can escape reality.

Right there. You are noticing in your behavior that you drink to escape problems.
You have noticed that you do not want to deal with Problem X Y or Z, and that you use alcohol to wait it out/ escape it.

Ok.

Are you at the point of REALLY truly wanting to stop this? Or are you just noticing it and making notes to yourself? The reason I ask is that people who are needing help MUST be in a form to WANT and RECIEVE the help.

What I can say is that the others are right about going to AA. What about finding a personal counselor for yourself? You've noticed Alc runs in your family, and that you're close to it yourself because of issues you have in your life. Well, one question to ask is Why dont you WANT to deal with those issues? What's underlying it?

All these things are hard: admitting you aren't perfect, admitting you need help, revealing current behavior patterns, showing bad "programming" etc.

Personally, I think counseling has a stigma attached to it in our society. It's a hush hush game, nobody knows you go but you do, and people think OOOH something's wrong with them ...if they find out.

Well, overcome that. I went to some serious behavior reprogramming for over 18 mos. I can look @ myself now and think HOLY Crap! I used to think THAT WAY?? Weird!!!

One thing I do often is ask my gut. Hello Gut. I have a question; should I do XYZ?
The first response is always your subconcious, always the one that's the closest to your real true core. Ask your gut if you're ready for counseling - if you're not, it wont stick.

Go to an AA meeting for the next month - once a week. After that month, ask the head person if they know of any counselors who are good dealing w/ substance abuse issues, and see if you can get in.

Another thing to remember: if you're starting to feel like you're drowning, set a goal. You'll have a reason to swim.

Cutenoob

[Plaidman]

*looks at blas photo* O_O ok, only freaking morons would cheat on you. I don't drink, never had a real girlfriend. I'll go out with you. :). Not sure how good it be on the net since I doubt you live in Portland. Hmm..


*takes Blas to Paris, shows her the sights and sounds, then goes to Italy, where we have incredible Italian food under the stars, then we go to Mexico, where we dance and have a a feista with wild dancing and fun*

See? Great first date! I'm a multibillionare apparently. And good with timing since we went to three different countries in one night.