Trying to decide what to do (relationship)

[shankyknitter]

I've got a friend that I've known since high school. He is awesome and I've always had the 'he is an awesome friend' love for him. I haven't seen him in person in over three years. We've been talking a lot online, I finally broke down and got a facebook and he friended me there. So for the first time in over three years I could see what he looks like.

And holy crud muffins ladies and gentlemen the boy's grown up well. I will admit that I had a small crush on him before seeing the pictures, its been developing because of how much we talk and what not. Now he lives 5 hours away from me most of the year so this wouldn't be a problem. I'd ignore it, not bring it up ect.

Boy has decided he's coming to visit me on the 31st and staying the weekend. :runaway:

This leaves me in an interesting predicament: do I say anything to him before he comes and make the visit awkward?

OR

Do I try to ignore it and inevitably give myself away while he's here and make the visit impossibly awkward?

Help please?

[Plaidman]

Chances are he feels the same for you. Or maybe just an awesome friend love.

Look, it could be a crush, could be inflattion. Maybe make a side comment, like "Wow, how'd you get so cute so fast?" or something. See how he reacts.

Try by ear is all you can do. Ether way, this going to be fun. Have fun. Relax.


and jealous...

[AdminAssistant]

I had a similar thing happen on New Year's, when I went to visit an old friend that I hadn't seen in a while.

....He's moving in this summer. :D

I say, wait until he visits and just see what happens.

[MaggieTheCat]

That sounds about like how my husband and I got together. :lol: We've been friends since middle school, lost touch for a while when we were both in college, then we reconnected a few years ago and really hit it off. Apparently we each had a crush on the other back in HS, but we never acted on it, which was probably a good thing since we weren't ready for a relationship back then, and it's worked out great now. My husband really grew up nicely too...the first pic I saw of him in like 5 years, I was blown away. :o

Anyway, I agree with AA, let him come and see what happens.

[Evil Queen]

Yeah, I'd wait. Hell, there could be something about him that just turns OFF the crush. :lol:

[Jester]

This leaves me in an interesting predicament: do I say anything to him before he comes and make the visit awkward?

OR

Do I try to ignore it and inevitably give myself away while he's here and make the visit impossibly awkward?

There is a third option: wait till he gets there, see how you feel interacting with him in person, see if he seems to feel the same way, and then, if you still like him, even if you are not sure where he stands, broach the subject. How? Many ways: talking to him, going to the bars (if that's your thing) and seeing if anything develops, going to the bars (if that's your thing) and working towards something developing, planting one on him out of the blue....

I agree with the others here that you should wait till he gets there, but once he is there, if you are still interested, there is absolutely no reason why you should (A) hide it or (B) be a passive spectator to the whole thing.

"If you were waiting for the opportune moment....that was it." --Captain Jack Sparrow

[shankyknitter]

"If you were waiting for the opportune moment....that was it." --Captain Jack Sparrow

I don't think I've ever had someone quote Captain Jack at me as a good influence before. *ponders*

Since all the advice has been pretty consistent I'm taking that as a sign that I'm a dumbass and should do as I'm told for once. Though I do like the idea of randomly planting one on him (thanks Jester!).

Maybe after I teach the other girls belly dancing, as this is the plan for the fire Saturday night. Close as I can get to a 'proper' Beltane celebration while single. *ponders*

[Jester]

I don't think I've ever had someone quote Captain Jack at me as a good influence before. *ponders*

You're forgetting one important factor here: I'm brilliant. :D

Though I do like the idea of randomly planting one on him (thanks Jester!).

As a guy, I can tell you that this approach from a girl can be very effective. I can't take credit for the idea, though. I learned it from experience. Thank the Summer of '89. It was very instructive for Young Jester. :eyewaggle:


(Although to be fair, that girl didn't just plant one on me. She grabbed me by the arms, threw up against the side of the house, and THEN planted one on me. Made quite an impression. Not sure if I would recommend this approach, though....some guys might be freaked out by it.)

[shankyknitter]

He's kind of oblivious (he's a physics major, he's good at picking up mathematical hints, not hints from girls). If I were going to randomly plant one on him it'd have to be big and impressive.

Just afraid of making it awkward if he doesn't like me any more than a friend, since he's sleeping in my room for the weekend.

[Magpie]

(he's a physics major, he's good at picking up mathematical hints, not hints from girls).

Here. Can I offer you a clue-by-four? And here's the hod I use for "subtle like a brick" hints.

[shankyknitter]

why thank you Magpie! I'm sure this will come in handy

[Jester]

Just afraid of making it awkward if he doesn't like me any more than a friend, since he's sleeping in my room for the weekend.

No matter how you do it, if he does not reciprocate your romantic interest, things will be awkward.

With that in mind, if you're willing to risk that, you might as well go big, right? As they say....go big or go home!

[Bella_Vixen]

He's staying with you...in your room...for a weekend, and you're asking if there might be relationship potential?

I'd have to say...yeah.

:wave:

[Red_Dazes]

I believe the phrase is "Que Sera, Sera" Don't worry too much. Just enjoy getting to see your cute friend, be yourself, catch up... talk about hobbies, food, music.... relationships. "So! *plop on the couch* Tell me about your girlfriend. You MUST have a girlfriend by now!" ...."What? you don't! How could a good looking guy like you still be single. .....I am too you know...single that is." *Cough* maybe not quite like that... but you get the just.

When it comes right down to it though you may just have to take a deep breath and smack him with the Clue-by-four and be prepared to handle his reaction... whatever it may be.

"Don't worry about the future. Or worry...but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum."