ThePhoneGoddess
12-24-2006, 01:43 PM
The family is just finding out, and it's all really sad.
So this summer Whitney graduated from high school and moved with a girlfriend to a nearby bigger city to go to college. Whitney didn't save her money from her job down there for rent, and so when rent time came, she stole a check from her roommate's (and good friend!) checkbook and wrote herself a check for the money. Well the roommate discovered this and got mad at her and told her she didn't want to live with her anymore. Very understandable! The roommate left for a while and when she got back Whitney was drinking and popping pills and acting hysterical so the girl called 911 and they came out and took her to the hospital. Her Mother Sandy had to come get her and move her back home.
So Sandy discovers this girl has, in her 2 months away from home, managed to get herself 4 charge cards. 4 of them! And she's got one maxed out and is juggling the other three, paying the maxed one's bill with them. Sandy took her to the bank and made her cancel three of them, and now all of her money from her job is going to the maxed out one. Well Sandy recognized that a lot of her problems must have come from her father Mark, who's a controlling SOB. What Sandy didnt know was how abusive he had been to Whitney when she stayed with him. Sandy tells her she wants her in therapy, and Whitney goes once or twice then stops. She doesn't want to deal with it. But apparently, this is the little that Sandy found out about what Mark did to her:
Apparently, whenever she was over there, she was not allowed to speak of her Mother or any of our family (there's a lot of us, and we're all really close and live near each other, so we see each other all the time and constantly talk about one another.) She wasn't even allowed to mention us. That's how mad he was that Sandy divorced him 15 years ago.
If she brought homework to do, and Mark found out Sandy had helped her with any of it, he would tear it up and tell her she had to do it all over again, by herself. She had her own wardrobe over there, stuff he bought, and it was all she was allowed to wear. When she was in junior high, he wanted to take her out of the country to a friend's wedding, and he picked out her dress for her, which she got mad about. She retaliated by telling him she'd tell her Mother not to sign the release form Sandy had to fill out to allow Mark to leave the country with her. Mark said to her 'Oh. You mean you've already told your Mother?' Apparently he wasn't even going to bother with the form.
The final straw came when she got into ninth grade, he came to pick her up from school one day, and apparently they got into a big fight in the school hallway because he refused to take Whitney to her Soccer practice and other lessons on his weekends.A counselor intervened, and told him he had to arrange his schedule around her, not the other way around. He got mad, and hte counselor took him into her office and shut the door. Mark came out a few minutes later absolutely enraged, told Whitney to call him when 'you're ready to be my daughter again' and stormed off. Sandy had to go get her.
We think now that the counselor had figured out some of what was going on and had threatened Mark with reporting him for child abuse, or something like that. Whitney hasn't seen him since. But obviously, the things he did to her messed her pretty bad. She apparently dealt with the visits to him by retreating into a fantasy world, and she's stuck there now. Whenever anything goes wrong, she retreats into her fantasy world, and wont deal with her problems. i feel bad for her but I don't know what to do.:(
So this summer Whitney graduated from high school and moved with a girlfriend to a nearby bigger city to go to college. Whitney didn't save her money from her job down there for rent, and so when rent time came, she stole a check from her roommate's (and good friend!) checkbook and wrote herself a check for the money. Well the roommate discovered this and got mad at her and told her she didn't want to live with her anymore. Very understandable! The roommate left for a while and when she got back Whitney was drinking and popping pills and acting hysterical so the girl called 911 and they came out and took her to the hospital. Her Mother Sandy had to come get her and move her back home.
So Sandy discovers this girl has, in her 2 months away from home, managed to get herself 4 charge cards. 4 of them! And she's got one maxed out and is juggling the other three, paying the maxed one's bill with them. Sandy took her to the bank and made her cancel three of them, and now all of her money from her job is going to the maxed out one. Well Sandy recognized that a lot of her problems must have come from her father Mark, who's a controlling SOB. What Sandy didnt know was how abusive he had been to Whitney when she stayed with him. Sandy tells her she wants her in therapy, and Whitney goes once or twice then stops. She doesn't want to deal with it. But apparently, this is the little that Sandy found out about what Mark did to her:
Apparently, whenever she was over there, she was not allowed to speak of her Mother or any of our family (there's a lot of us, and we're all really close and live near each other, so we see each other all the time and constantly talk about one another.) She wasn't even allowed to mention us. That's how mad he was that Sandy divorced him 15 years ago.
If she brought homework to do, and Mark found out Sandy had helped her with any of it, he would tear it up and tell her she had to do it all over again, by herself. She had her own wardrobe over there, stuff he bought, and it was all she was allowed to wear. When she was in junior high, he wanted to take her out of the country to a friend's wedding, and he picked out her dress for her, which she got mad about. She retaliated by telling him she'd tell her Mother not to sign the release form Sandy had to fill out to allow Mark to leave the country with her. Mark said to her 'Oh. You mean you've already told your Mother?' Apparently he wasn't even going to bother with the form.
The final straw came when she got into ninth grade, he came to pick her up from school one day, and apparently they got into a big fight in the school hallway because he refused to take Whitney to her Soccer practice and other lessons on his weekends.A counselor intervened, and told him he had to arrange his schedule around her, not the other way around. He got mad, and hte counselor took him into her office and shut the door. Mark came out a few minutes later absolutely enraged, told Whitney to call him when 'you're ready to be my daughter again' and stormed off. Sandy had to go get her.
We think now that the counselor had figured out some of what was going on and had threatened Mark with reporting him for child abuse, or something like that. Whitney hasn't seen him since. But obviously, the things he did to her messed her pretty bad. She apparently dealt with the visits to him by retreating into a fantasy world, and she's stuck there now. Whenever anything goes wrong, she retreats into her fantasy world, and wont deal with her problems. i feel bad for her but I don't know what to do.:(