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looney_librarian
07-22-2010, 02:55 PM
I don't know if this has been posted or not, but from my years working retail long ago I figured this is how a SC treats an argument.

SC’s rules to an argument as modified from 'the rules of a gunfight'

1. Bring an attitude. Preferably, bring two completely different attitudes to throw off the CSR. Bring all of your friends who have attitudes. Bring four times the attitude you think you could ever need.

2. Anything worth yelling at is worth yelling at twice. Your words are cheap – your time is expensive.

3. Only threats count. The only thing worse than a logical argument is a very logical argument.

4. If your breathing and stance is good, you're probably not yelling loud enough or waving arms, or tapping feet correctly.

5. Move toward your target and be overt about it. Distance is your friend. (The closer the better.)

6. If you can choose what to bring to an argument, bring a rant and a loud voice and a friend with a loud voice.

7. In ten years nobody will remember the details of loudness, curse words, or tactics. They will only remember who lived and got what they wanted.

8. If you are not quiet, you should be screaming, huffing, and stomping. Yell "I’ll Sue!" Why "I’ll sue"? Managers will come with the owners, apologies often scare off the CSM, or at least cause then to lose concentration and will.... and who is going to summon help if you say "Please" "I’m sorry" or "Thank You?"

9. Logic is relative: most SC argument standards will be more dependent on "rage" than the inherent logic of the argument.

10. Someday someone may kill you with your own argument, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.

11. Stretch the rules. Always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

12. Have a plan.

13. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work. "No argument plan ever survives 10 seconds past first contact with the enemy."

14. Use overt motions or yelling as much as possible, but remember, logic and the like stop nothing but your pulse going higher when you’re yelling tear through them.

15. Flank your adversary when possible. Leave yours open to logic.

16. Don't stop yelling.

17. Decide NOW to always be more than aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.

18. The longer you take the finish the fight, the more free stuff you will get.
19. Be rude. Be holier-than-thou. Have a plan to argue with everyone you meet if necessary, because they may want to argue with you

20. Be mean to everyone. Overly friendly to the owner you ‘know’

21. Your number one option for personal self worth is a lifelong commitment to pursue, threaten, and escalation.

22. Do not attend an argument with a voice, the loudness of which does not start with anything smaller than “loud".

23. Demand a discount. Find whatever reasons you think you deserve a discount. It doesn’t matter if you actually deserve one or not. You’ll always get one.

24. Practice shouting in the dark, with someone shouting at you, when out of breath, etc.

25. Regardless of whether justified of not, you will feel good about shouting at another human being. It is better to be loud than to be right.

26. The only thing you EVER say afterwards are curse words. Lots of them in as many combinations as possible as loud as possible.

MoonCat
07-22-2010, 07:58 PM
I would add this one:

Demand free stuff for life. Preferably the most expensive stuff they have, delivered personally to your door by a groveling employee who will kiss your backside and apologize again for upsetting you in the first place.

Mytical
07-24-2010, 05:06 AM
I would add another.

Never actually let the other person finish a sentence. Ever. It doesn't matter what they are going to say anyhow, because you will hear only what you want to hear.

Kristev
07-24-2010, 11:21 PM
I think it's time employees start calling the police. Constantly.