I'm A Loser Baby, So Why Don't You Kill Me?

[blas]

Or, how to alienate all of your friends and not even really give a shit.

I have posted on here and Fratch many times about how almost all of my friends and bf have only one true hobby: going to the bar.

I grew out of partying and always getting smashed a while ago, and then I grew really sick of the bar scene when it got tiring to have to wait ages for a drink, have people wall to wall and in your business, random people trying to talk to you or hit on you, all that jazz.

Plus, with getting a new car, I warned everyone that I simply would not have the income to blow on stupid things like booze anymore. I could still afford to do other things. Truly, drinking is an expensive habbit. I save tons of money (including cab fare, which is usually $10 minimum one way) not going anymore. And quite frankly, it feels better not going. Plus, all bars in Wi are smoke free now, what's the point in even going?

Does anyone meet me halfway? No. All I get invited to are stupid drinking events. No one is willing to drink at home or have a barbeque or campfire or anything. And the two friends who thought I'd just blow $75 to hang out with them at the country music festival....pardon my French but are you retarded?

I text/call friends and ask if they'd want to try going to the new lounge or going to the dog park or the zoo or bowling (there IS a bar at the bowling alley ya know) or a bunch of other stuff, and I either don't get an answer or "Oh, we're busy tonight" and then wow, wouldn't you know it, a Facebook status the next day about being hungover or pictures of them drunk.

Last night my bf and I got in a big fight because I was being somewhat of a bitch about having a bad week at work and I just wanted peace and quiet and to rest and do nothing. He whined that I never want to do anything (drama queen much?) and how he was going out with our friends and I really need to think about how I'm treating people who are supposed to be my friends and people I care about, because they keep inviting me places and I keep refusing. Oh, whatever.

So he stays out until 4 am just to spite me, and I get random bitchy texts from one of my friends about how I never go out and why can't I just tell her I don't want to go out anymore? Uh, because you guys don't fucking get it.

I am not some hermit freak who never wants to leave the house. No one thinks my ideas (including my bf nowadays) are very fun because they don't include crowded places or the bar. "How are you supposed to have fun eating or at the movies?" he says. "How are you supposed to have fun in a crowded bar with everyone spilling on you and the music so loud you have to scream to be heard?" I ask back.

I really don't feel bad at all about "alienating" everyone. I've been having a rough time at work and all I want is peace and quiet and to do stuff I enjoy. If no one wants to meet me halfway, then fine.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I'd do those things if I were close enough to hang :) I love bowling...can't remember the last time I went to the zoo...

Ex was kinda like that...spent practically every night he wasn't working at the bar; come home at 2am after they closed, etc. I'd hang out sometimes but I don't want to spend every night there. One night he stopped at 7-11 on his way home, picked up some snack food, put it in the oven, then fell asleep (or passed out) on the couch. I woke up at 3am to the smoke alarm. And maybe if he didn't blow all his money on beer he would've been able to pay his bills (and I wouldn't be dealing with all this court bullshit trying to get back the money I loaned him to bail him out). He stopped going after he moved (after we broke up, because he was evicted, for not paying his rent, again)...when it was no longer right down the street. Looking back, he was pretty much an alcoho;ic; of course I didn't see it then. He moved to Florida last year and got married in January. I hope he's grown up (for her sake). (Did I mention he's was in his late 30s when we were dating?)

I'm sorry, where was I going with this? Oh yeah, between this and another recent post, your boyfriend kinda sounds like a jerk. And I'd go bowling with you. If I wasn't in New Jersey...

[blas]

Couple of Fridays ago, before my little brother went out of the country for work, we went to the mall so I could exchange a shirt, we bummed around the mall making fun of clothes in certain stores, we went bowling and neither of us broke 100 either game, then we went to Sonic and caught up on stuff because I never get to see him anymore. It was the most fun I've had in a looong time.

And I didn't even have to drink. Not that I'm against drinking. I had a drink after dinner last night. I am just sick and tired of wasting time and money in stupid bars. Really, I have so much more money now that I don't go. I was usually the DD anyway, and I tired of having to stay out all night to make my friends and bf happy, and deal with them screaming at me because I wanted to leave. I got tired of paying so much for cabs when I didn't even need one. It costed me a lot of money to drink even when I only had a few!

If anyone is a loser, they are. And God Forbid I want some damn peace and quiet after a week of being stalked at work, screamed at, watched like a hawk, and torn down into shreds because my best wasn't enough. I had enough noise all week, I wanted to just chill.

Edit to add: I love bowling, but no one ever wants to go. I suck at it and I don't care. I think it's fun. Plus, they have some of the best food and for my alcoholic friends and bf, they have a Bloody Mary the size of a giant flower vase.

[BookstoreEscapee]

My high game is 196. But that was years ago.

I'm not a big drinker anyway; when I did hang out at the bar I usually had one or two at the most; more often I drank ginger ale and they didn't charge me for it. I always drove home...and often back the next day so he could get his truck (but he could walk if our schedules didn't work; if you caught the green light it was about a 1 minute drive - on the up side he wasn't stupid enough to try to drive even that short distance home). Even on my 29th birthday when he promised he'd be able to drive home, his friend's girlfriend ended up driving us home, and he was almost as drunk as I was (the one and only time I've been drunk enough to throw up).

[protege]

Blas, I never understood the appeal of getting trashed all the time either. That's not to say that I don't enjoy some wine, or Crown Royal, etc. with dinner...but some people act like they can't have a good time *without* alcohol. In fact, when I was with my last girlfriend (many, many years ago :cry:) people actually said that we "couldn't have a good time on New Year's" unless we were trashed. Sorry, but I wasn't about to risk wrapping my new-ish car around a tree. Nor was I about to risk putting her in danger. If I'm going to get trashed, I'll stay home ;)

[AdminAssistant]

I have that problem with my friends sometimes. They want to do a weekly "Ladies" thing at night (we used to do lunch, but now one friend graduated and can't do that). They always want to go to this little, crappy, tiny bar with the grossest, least functioning potty in town. And it's usually really crowded and noisy. I am a claustrophobe, and I've told them repeatedly that I can't go there. I'm starting to watch my anxiety a little more seriously, and I'm not putting myself in that situation so I can hang out with smelly hipsters.

I usually want to just chat over dinner, but some of them insist on drinks. One (who is 34 damn years old) will literally whine, "But driiiinnnkiiiieeessss" Did I mention that she leaves her 10 year old at home by himself so that she can go out for drinkies? Gah. Anyway. I finally told one friend yesterday that if they were going to X place, I wasn't going out. I'd rather sit at home and play WoW with my fiance.

ETA: I also recently decided to just cut out booze for a while. I usually do that once a year - just not drink any alcohol for 2-3 months. It's nice to clean out the system.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

Good going, Blas. You deserve peace, and having your own head-space. They aren't friends enough to do even one thing you want to do that doesn't involve drinking. Do you have a hobby? I know you work your ass off, and I've read in other threads how exactly your job's going :eek:. I firmly believe that interesting times start in other ways than with alcohol or chemical means. I can be that strange all on my own. ... I need to post some "Drunk-Equivalent Teh" stories on here. Lord knows I remember every. single. moment. :shudder:
Also: that big?? o___o Can has? (nah, too much salt, prolly. urg.)

[chrislb]

some of my friends used to be like that too. i cant afford to drink like that anymore and personally dont want to. too many bad experiences with booze. they are asses for not respecting your wishes.

[JLG]

Blas, I know what you mean about drinking wasting your money. All of the alternatives you mentioned to your friends sounds like a lot of fun to me.

I have a friend that does not have a car right now and instead of saving she spends most of it on going out and drinking. There is nothing wrong with that but if you worry all week about how you are going to get to work then you need to start saving for a car.

My friends go out about 3 times a week drinking and that is just not my thing or in my budget. But we do other things and I have drinking parties at my house when I can squeeze that in my budget. I make a bunch of snack foods and we listen to music and drink.

Too bad your friends don't like your ideas cause they sound like good times to me :D

[Plaidman]

I'd totally bowl with you if I could.

Think of this way, not that it helps now. You grew out of the drinking game. I'm not sure when you started, but my guess is possibly younger then they have.

They haven't grown all of it yet. Will they? Likely, likely not. I've known people that started drinking in their early teens, and still drinking now every night in their THIRTIES.

It sucks that your friends aren't even meeting you halfway or anything. It may be time to hang with other people. Not get rid of your current friends by any means, but your friendly enough to get anyone your friend. It's their lost they don't want to hang with you and only want to drink.

Sorry about your BF. Hope he thinks better before he dumps you for not being an drinker like everyone else.

BTW: If ya want a random text person to text randomy, my number open. I follow rules. I rarely call. But uh, ask anyone that has my number, (Big list here) I like to text.

[Mishi]

I'm not a big drinker either, have been barely tipsy all of once. I don't need alcohol to have fun, be clumsy or make an ass of myself, which is why it's hard to find friends my own age. Don't get me wrong though, I love having a drink or two with dinner or with friends. I'd just rather spend my time and money on my kids.

Damn it Blas! Now I want to go to the zoo!

[Whiskey]

serious question: why are you with your boyfriend

edit: also, can you take a community college cooking class? Itd be a good way to meet people who enjoy food. no-credit college classes are a really good way to meet up and its entirely less awkward.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I don't like the bars around here either. Generally the only ones friends want to go to are the really noisy ones where you have to scream to have a conversation.

My favorites are the "old people" bars where you can at least have a decent conversation. Plus the drinks aren't quite as expensive.

Also, county fair is coming up and I intend to continue my years-long streak of not going. It's so lame it's just like going to the bar, except there's no place to sit and you have to bathe in everybody's cigarette smoke. And also because it often results in me running into people I don't want to see, while under the influence of alcohol, so my lips are loosened more than they should be. :o

[telecom_goddess]

I agree with you Blas there is waaaaaaaaay more to life than alcohol. I spent time getting trashed when I was younger...who doesn't...but once I got done with school I quit doing all that. Like you said it's way more fun to go bowling or to the zoo or whatever and stone cold sober. I really do like life better sober.

Your friends have to wise up some day right?

[Cazzi]

Ah Blas, a gal after my own heart ;)

Between my ex hubby.. who's idea of fun was to go out boozing; and if I were with him, I had to stand there & get bored while he talked to HIS friends,, & glared over my shoulder if I dared talk to anyone I knew; and the people I used to know around here who also only seemed to go out to the same old pubs & clubs; are the reason I really don't have any friends in town. No one wanted to do anything different but also expected me to do all the running about in the "friendship".

Who needs booze anyway... I like the odd one, but on the whole not a lot of it agrees with me these days.. & with the hearing problems I have, get me in a noisy bar or club & I can't follow conversation at all.

The nearest friend to me is not that far, about 30 miles, but I don't drive, public transport isn't that good & she has a young family & a busy life with school & church committees etc, so we don't get together often.

Most of my friends are miles away, but aren't the go to the pub & get sloshed type at all. In fact, I've just got back from a few days staying with friends just outside London where as part of the trip I took was for all of us to go off to more friends for a BBQ & get together.
Unfortunately that didn't happen as I got struck with some ghastly tummy bug or other & my friends wouldn't go to the BBQ without me. bless em :)

So, instead we played 3 way LAN games & Mario & forza games instead :D Borderlands is waaay cool viewed on a 42 inch HD screen ;)

[Magpie]

I'd give your friends who wanted you go to the music festival some credit - they invited you to an event that didn't involve getting trashed. Yes, it would have been nice if they'd remembered that money is tight, but bear in mind that some people honestly don't get how to spend money wisely. You might be stuck though - if your boyfriend and your friends don't mature soon, and stop trying to commit slow suicide by liver failure, you're just going to grow apart.

[blas]

What irks me the most are the things I've been hearing lately. It really hurts my feelings. Alcohol aside, it's like I'm not allowed to want to be alone or just sit inside for a few days. I damn well know summer is flying by and almost over, but after being nearly reduced to tears (which hardly ever happens to me at work) last week, I needed some extra rest. And quite frankly, I deal with so much noise all week not to mention screaming and hysteria from shift leads and first shifters and management, that the last place I want to be is where the music is blaring and people are being loud and obnoxious. I'm not a damn hermit, I just wanted a little time to be quiet and mellow.

My bf has a drinking problem, it's no surprise. I've been with him for almost two years. He has, though, had the respect to never ask for a dime from me to support his habbit or asked for my sympathy when he'd get in trouble. I can at least respect that. For a long time, we were going great by trying other things, because I've been on the no-boat for quite a while. He was most upset of all that I was taking out my anger on work on him, which is fair, I hate when people do that to me, but when you know how to press my buttons, don't do it. I know what makes him tick and try not to do it, he should do the same. He should have understood I wanted some peace and quiet, and no, drinking wouldn't mellow me out.

My friend pushed me to the edge. I told her before I even bought my car that going out is NOT an option anymore, we'd have to stick to other things, besides I'm tired of bars anyway, and she didn't get it. So it was bitchy of me, I purposely fell asleep so I wouldn't have to go to the bar that night. Of course she was irate and screaming at me. Sure, I'm a partial hypocrite because I hate being ditched, but when you have been told NO over and over, when I refuse every bar invite.....this is the only way to guarantee she'll stop it. If I lose her forever, meh, I've lost better friends to worse things.

Some of my coworkers are my best of friends. Most of them are quite older than me, but at least they can have intelligent adult conversations and not always about getting trashed or being obsessed with alcohol being everywhere they go. In all honesty, they are worth keeping more. Even though we don't see one another that often outside of work because they have families and other committments, it's nice to know at least some people respect me.

I don't think I'm a snob or a bitch. When you get tired of being asked the same thing and your opinion disrespected over and over again, you lose it. I have offered time after time after time to do other things. Friends make up excuses as to no, they can't. But then turn it around "Oh hey let's go to the bar tonight!" NO GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!!!

Oh, must add: The country music festival is nothing but a drunk fest, aside from listening to live country music stars. You should see footage from the grounds when it's over. I don't like country music, 1, everyone I know knows that, and 2......being around several thousand drunk people.....no.

Maybe I'm just getting a little too mature too quickly, but once you realize stuff costs money and it's not fun to be hungover all the time....oh wait, they'll never learn.

[Becks]

Blas, come to GB. Bella and I will take you bowling.

Maybe we can convince Irv to come up here for it.

[blas]

It'd take me about 3 hours to get there, so we'd have to make a whole day out of it.

How about you guys come here so my tired butt can sleep while I wait for ya'll? There's a water park here. Nothing like Noah's Ark or anything but it's good enough for even a night's getaway.

[Becks]

Oooooh, tempting.

[blas]

Or maybe we can just plan on both :)

The zoo here is a lot of fun. I like to imitate the snorting noises of the buffallo and tease the monkeys.

And it's always fun to watch Bear the dog inadvertently piss off every type of water fowl there is.

[Becks]

Even more tempting.

Must see when we have a mutual day off.

Working retail, not always easy to schedule stuff...

[blas]

Understandable.

I have the same schedule every week, but there is always a chance every week that the manager will try to add in weekend overtime. It was every other weekend for quite a while, but now the cycle has been broken. I hate not knowing.

[taxguykarl]

Maybe I'm just getting a little too mature too quickly, but once you realize stuff costs money and it's not fun to be hungover all the time....oh wait, they'll never learn.Not only maturity but a sense of priorities. I agree that food, transportation, and a residence take president over fun.

I've seen 50 y.o.'s with gorgeous wardrobes, all the latest greatest electronics and are (along with their kids :eek:)well versed in the plot lines of television shows exclusive to premium channels--many of whom pulling down less than $40k.
I have a CW who has been in the hospital more than a week. He talked about little more than getting blasted and/or high. I can't recall seeing him put anything in his foul mouth that was not either over-processed or deep-fried. He is under 50 y.o. and we all doubt that he will live to 60.

Remember how they treated you when they start looking for a liver for transplant. Rember who'll be asking whom for a loan to go bar-hopping.

[blas]

I'll be asking for a lung transplant around the same time, so we'll be even.

My main concern is more of them all becoming like some of my relatives. One of my cousins (granted, he binges every day, not just weekends) is so bad that he can barely put together a coherent sentence.

As cruel as they've been to me lately, it would break my heart to think of them growing to be in their 30s, 40s, etc, drooling and barely able to put words together or have any of their soul left because it's all been poisoned and they are just robots with drinks in hand.

A lot of things you do when you're young can affect you when you're old. I don't want to see people I care about ending up like some of my relatives. The ones that are still able to function are just the meanest, cruelest, evil people alive that only live to drink and talk shit.

[Plaidman]

It's likely they may go down that path, as harsh as it sounds Blas.

You might want to attempt to talk to them about it.

[AdminAssistant]

A lot of things you do when you're young can affect you when you're old. I don't want to see people I care about ending up like some of my relatives. The ones that are still able to function are just the meanest, cruelest, evil people alive that only live to drink and talk shit.

How do you know my father? :p

You aren't too mature, you're just right for your age. I did all of my hard partying when I was 19-22. By the time 23 rolled around I thought, "Well, that's enough of that." I still have fun while doing things that don't involve spending $$$ to feel sick the next day.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Blas, come to GB. Bella and I will take you bowling.

Maybe we can convince Irv to come up here for it.

Hey, I bowl! Poorly.

[Seshat]

What irks me the most are the things I've been hearing lately. It really hurts my feelings. Alcohol aside, it's like I'm not allowed to want to be alone or just sit inside for a few days.

Been there, heard that.

Blas, you need new friends. Join a bowling league, or take a community college course, or do something that will regularly put you in touch with people with attitudes and interests that more closely match yours.

And, of course, stay in touch here. :devil:

[BookstoreEscapee]

Hey, I bowl! Poorly.

I'll kick all yer asses!

[Greenday]

Move to NJ. I'd love to hit up dog parks or zoos.

Not sure about bowling though. I'd feel kinda bad about whooping you!

I get sick of some of my friends (mainly the female ones) pretty fast. One just gets trashed and picks up losers then whines about how much of a loser they are and how bad they treat her. One won't go out except for special occasions ever since she got a boyfriend. Ones a total skank. You get the idea.

Last year one of my friends and I had to flip out on our group for being so ridiculous. I think the message reached a grand total of one of them.

[Cat]

I've got some friends that all they do is smoke and drink at their place.....which is fine. Its safer than driving after having fun......but I ain't driving 1.5 hrs just to drink, esp when they do not drive down to see me.

Zoos are fun....bowling is always good time...man, I need more cheap local fun things to do as well.

[Becks]

Hey, I bowl! Poorly.

We can have a contest to see who gets the most gutter balls! Everyone who bowls a strike has to pay money.

I'll kick all yer asses!

Sounds like fun to me!!

Now I want to go bowling, go to the zoo, and go back to NJ. Yay?

[blas]

Maybe if we're nice enough, they'll put the bumpers up for us so no one gets gutter balls hahaha.

[Becks]

Or I can haul some of the younger nieces and nephews along...

[blas]

Yeah, they really only do that for kids.

I better get some more practice in with my pink 8 pound ball.

[blas]

Oh back on topic now.

Want to know what else is nice about not going to the bar anymore? No more worrying about stuff being stolen. I have more cigarettes. I have more money. I don't lose anything. I don't come home with stains on my clothes or awful smells. No unexplainable bruises or cuts from falling. No more broken-off heels.

And for my bf, if he'd quit going out, he'd find his car not getting vandalized anymore.

The way people are around here, I can't see how I even allowed my piece of crap Neon to be subjected to garbage thrown around or on it, people just walking past and using it to stand by and talk or to lean on my bumper to tie their shoes.

[Whiskey]

Want to know what else is nice about not going to the bar anymore? No more worrying about stuff being stolen. I have more cigarettes. I have more money. I don't lose anything. I don't come home with stains on my clothes or awful smells. No unexplainable bruises or cuts from falling. No more broken-off heels.

the hale do you do in a bar? Ive never had any of this happen.

Canadialand is dangerous.

[AdminAssistant]

Canadialand is dangerous.

Blas is in Wisconsinlandia, and I've had similar happen to me in bars in KC.

[blas]

Most of the time I'm a freak about not leaving my purse even anywhere near detached from my arm or my grasp. But if I settle down and stay at the same chair for a long time, I'd leave my smokes and lighter and a few bucks by me at all times. It'd help keep the bartender coming right to me.

I can't recall a person blindly stealing from me, other than a drunk chick trying to make off with several winter jackets one winter (and my bf chased her down, picked her up and shook her so she lost her grasp of all of them, but she looked so out of it, when he put her down, she walked away without a word or even half an expression). He normally doesn't get physical with girls, but she was trying to take off with several Colombia coats.

Bf has had people steal ciggs from him, though he's not the smartest and his ADHD keeps him from remembering to keep them with him.

The bars we used to frequent were nearby campus and college housing, and people there think nothing of throwing their refuse all over the roads and vehicles parked nearby.

[Whiskey]

did you answer my question, i didnt see it. or are you not going to

either works, just wondering.

[Mytical]

I would love to have somebody to hang out with that wasn't into drinking (and knew fun things to do). Usually stuck as the DD (fun fun), because I prefer not to chance drinking (I CAN drink but there is better odds it will make me really sick then not). So you ever find yourself in Ohio, I'll bowl with you, or whatever. Don't think I've ever topped 100 bowling, but I bowl for fun..not competition.

[blas]

You'll have to pardon me, Whiskey. I generally avoid answering that question because it's been asked before, and on Fratch there was a thread or two where several members just hopped on the "dump him!" band-wagon.

I see this place (or Fratch if more suited) as a safe haven to vent. I never over-share or risk my security, but I see it as a place to vent about people or things I just can't talk about to anyone else or I tire of talking to myself about. If I complain about my job to my parents, I get "You should be happy you have a job! Blargle!" or if I vent to friends it's "He's such a loser why don't you dump him?!!!" (meanwhile they are three sheets to the wind drunk and trying to go home with some random idiot who is giving them the oogle eyes). I realize that making threads like these open for advice and it's up to the member to take them. In the past I have given some shitty advice or hopped on the "You need to get a new job!" bandwagon or "You need to move!" before, and realized it's not always that realistic and not everything is always as it seems.

I mainly post negative things, mostly because I can't say them elsewhere or it lifts a giant weight off of my shoulder after typing it out. I felt the world better after making this thread because it was like "Yes finally it's out! Whew!" I wish I had more positive things to say about work or my relationships or friends.

He's not a bad person, he just has his own problems. He's overcame a lot. I'm very proud of him for getting off of probation and being able to drive again. Unlike a typical loser, he doesn't leech off of me. Has never asked me for anything. Anything I've ever bought for him was my own choice. Not like I don't have my own problems. I'm one of the most anxious/panicky people you'll ever meet. This guy is the only one in years (ask some of the older members here, they've been through my relationships with me!) and he is the ONLY one that I haven't scared away or hasn't become so scary in a flash that I need to run away. I scared away many a guy before him. It still puzzles me to this day how he's still there, when others would have bailed months or even a year or more ago.

Maybe I'm a hypocrite, one page defending him, another bashing him, but it felt good to vent.

[BlaqueKatt]

Edit to add: I love bowling, but no one ever wants to go. I suck at it and I don't care. I think it's fun.

I love bowling!-too bad you don't live closer....I even have a pink hello kitty bowling ball and shiny purple bowling shoes- :D

[McGoddess09]

I love bowling!-too bad you don't live closer....I even have a pink hello kitty bowling ball and shiny purple bowling shoes- :D

You're only an hour away from me when I am at school. I would love to see that!

Big Sis, you have my number, feel free to text or call me if you need to vent. I will mainly listen.

[Thuringwethyl]

I see this place (or Fratch if more suited) as a safe haven to vent... I realize that making threads like these open for advice and it's up to the member to take them. In the past I have given some shitty advice or hopped on the "You need to get a new job!" bandwagon or "You need to move!" before, and realized it's not always that realistic and not everything is always as it seems.

I mainly post negative things, mostly because I can't say them elsewhere or it lifts a giant weight off of my shoulder after typing it out. I felt the world better after making this thread because it was like "Yes finally it's out! Whew!" I wish I had more positive things to say about work or my relationships or friends.

Maybe I'm a hypocrite, one page defending him, another bashing him, but it felt good to vent.

I understand completely, it's what I do. I'm so detail-oriented that by the time I finishing exhaustively explaining everything the issue has become a multi-page saga. I end up deleting most of the positive stuff because it's already so long! Plus, it's hard to present objectively without any sort of spin.

I also don't like to talk to people I know about other mutual aquaintances because I've realized I don't see things the same way as "normal" people and I don't want to negatively influence my aquaintances with some poorly-thought-out observation. This means I go to strangers online for advice. ;)

[blas]

Yeah, it may be hard for some to understand, but that's why I feel the way I do about this place and Fratch.

I did go out on Friday night for bf's birthday. Mind you, I did not get drunk or even buzzed, just had a few, and I shoved a few creepy guys who thought they could just walk up and try to hump me or start dancing with me. I'm not a violent person or an advocate of fighting (sounds conflicted, but part of the reason I hate going out so much is because I have to stop myself from wanting to punch every single guy who approaches me or all the idiots who can't handle themselves properly and go running into everyone or spilling everywhere).

Yes, blas the creeper buster. Call me if there's ever a guy who won't leave you alone. I'll throw him against a wall.

[Flying Grype]

Ugh, random party-animal extroverts.

I was fortunate to be introverted enough that I had no problem not being friends with people whose idea of 'fun' was getting so drunk that they started risking their personal safety. I did go to clubs with a few friends because they did what I liked sometimes as well. Eventually they grew out of it and we're still friends. We still like to have a few drinks, but in the safety of their homes or mine.

The best thing I ever did was (don't laugh) join an astronomy club. There were a lot of geeks there who had similar experiences to mine, and who had other things they did for fun rather than killing their brain cells. Seriously, I think most of the hard-partying clubbers out there just never learned that anything other than drinking could actually be fun or worth spending time on.

I don't know how big a town you live in, blas, but go looking for stuff like that and people who are interested in things you're interested in. Chances are you'll find people you can have fun with who are not exhausting to be around and who won't feel betrayed if you aren't there on any given night.

Also, it sounds like you really care about your man, and if he cares for you too he'll respect your needs. It might take some time for him to figure it out. Don't let it take too long.