should i be insulted by this?

[Ljt09863]

i really don't know how to feel about this. heres the deal. any and all jewelry i wear has to be real gold. i can't wear anything else. i break out. my watch has a leather band all around it, so nothing but leather is touching my skin. i make this clear to people. i cannot wear costume jewelry, or sterling silver, or anything else BUT gold. which, is a good thing cause i have a really good excuse to be expensive in jewelry. j/k

anyways. for Christmas of 2005, fiancees mother got me a beautiful sapphire and gold bracelet. it had a thin chain and broke. we haven't gotten it fixed yet. Christmas of 2006, i recieved a different one from her. well, snce then, my wrist has been breaking out. i gve it the benefit of the doubt. i heard that pregnancy can do really crazy things to your skin, and i figured maybe that was it. well, today, i took the bracelet off, and the back of it is now a silver color.....its not a gold bracelet. she told fiancee it was 14k gold. my engagement ring is 14k gold, and i have had it for over a year and its not turning silver. something else that kinda made me wonder about the bracelet, is a sapphire is chipped. also, i thought jewelry always said the whatever carat it is. the only thig on this bracelet is 925 R. China...whatever that means...i have no idea.

now, to get things straight before i start sounding greedy. if i could wear fake jewelry, this would not be a problem. i niether need nor want really expensive jewelry. if i could wear costume jewelry, i would! this bracelet is really nice, but i can't wear it.

now, to the part that makes me wonder if i should be insulted. fiancees mother knows i can't wear fake jewelry. she has made many many many comments about it over the year. if i see something fake that i like, she will mention that i can't wear it. she KNOWS i can't wear it. she knows what happens.

also, she has made comments before about how she NEVER buys cheap jewelry for those she cares about.....her example was how she made my fiancee buy an engagement from a particualr maker because of the quality, not cost.

so now im kinda wondering if she doesn't care aobut me period anymore. yeah, i have had my issues with her, but we have never had a confrontation, and i haven't been rude to her. im not purposely excluding her from anything in my life or fiancees life. i haven't done anything wrong to her! yes, i don't care for her, but because she is my fiancees mother, im going to do things to make her happy, just so hes happy with me. less stress.

Fiancee and i talked about it, and he said he is insulted she did it. he says he is really disappointed in her, because he has made sure she knew i can't wear jewelry like that. i told fiancee that while i appreciate any gift from his parents, i would rather receive NO jewelry rather than something i can't wear that is just going to sit in my jewelry box collecting dust.

Im not going to confront his mtoher about this. im not going to ask why she did it, or anything. im just going to let it go. i don't know what im going to say when she asks why im not wearing the bracelet though. i actually thought to tell her,"oh, the paint started coming off so i took it off." but i thought that would be mean, so i don't think so.

i really don't know how to feel about this. im not trying to sound greedy or anything like that, and i know it should be the thought that counts, but when she saw that bracelet, her second thought should have been,"but she can't wear it, no point in getting it."

[Rapscallion]

Maybe she made a mistake instead of acting malevolently?

Rapscallion

[Primer]

925 (or .925) is usually the stamp for sterling silver, it is possible she was under the assumption it was true solid 14kt but instead was sold vermeil, where it was gold over sterling.

Frequently 24k is plated on over the silver. I'm willing to bet she thought she was buying 24k and didn't know (or understand) that it was only a very thin plating over silver. Or she knew, but did not know how fast plating wears off.

[Ljt09863]

im not totally positive where she bought the bracelet, but i thought i had seen one like it at Kohls. it wasnt very much, but i don't remember the price. it is very likely she got it at Kohls, since she works there and buys almost all her stuff from there. im not 100% sure she bought it there though.


i just wasnt sure how to feel about it. im not going to make an issue out of it with her. it isn't worth it.

[Giggle Goose]

i just wasnt sure how to feel about it. im not going to make an issue out of it with her. it isn't worth it.

That's a good idea, for the sake of you and your baby! Just as long as she doesn't pull any more crap like that.

[Luna]

Well, first off the marking .925 means it is made of sterling silver. If it had a gold color - it was probably gold plated and rubbed off over time. She may have not known. How one professes to be really good at buying jewelry and not know this is beyond me, but who knows.

My mother-in-law does stupid things all the time.
I love purple. LOVE purple. Amethyst is my birthstone. I don't wear earrings. My ears hurt when I wear them, and one ear is slightly lower than the other and wearing earrings really makes that visible. I don't wear gold. Haven't in probably 11 years. Sterling silver is my thing. I hate gaudy jewelry and prefer small things.

Without a doubt - she will buy me something huge, fake and gaudy and preach about how much money it cost her. It will always be gold plated. Ewwww.. and it won't be my birthstone. It'll be blue or green or something else I'd never ever wear. I also LOVE marcasite jewelry. You can buy marcasite rings and things for 1/8 of the cost of gold anything. I got myself a beautiful ring for $7 at Kohl’s. She bought me a FAKE marcasite bracelet. It turned my wrist green.

She does the same thing with plants and flowers. I have cats. Cats climb. Cats die or suffer horribly if they consume most any plants or flowers. So I tell her all the time, no I can't have flowers. Then she gets pissed at me b/c she bought two poinsettia plants and now doesn't know what to do with 2. :rolleyes: I told her I'm not bringing home poison to kill my babies with, and she can be mad at me all she wants. If she'd LISTEN to me - she wouldn't have wasted her money.

Hubby does the same thing. Couple years ago he bought me an opal pendant. It was gold. I don't wear gold. He told me he knows I don't wear gold but he thought I'd like it anyway. WTF? I made him return it. It was over $200 and I almost beat him silly. I went to a place in my mall called Village Silver, and walked out with a gorgeous opal pendant with silver swirls encasing it for $35.

So, after my big long-winded sympathizing story...I don't think they mean it to be malicious. I think sometimes people just don't think and run on auto-pilot for most of their lives. Just try asking for gift receipts so you can get what you want. :D

[SongsOfDragons]

Try taking a closer look at its hallmarks. If the 925 is in a circle or an oval, it's silver. If it's gold it will be in a rectangle, though the number shouldn't really be 925 as I don't think that corresponds to a standard gold carat. The hallmarks should also tell you where the piece was stamped (i.e. if it's a leapord head it's from London) and the date and perhaps a few other things such as manufacturers mark. Try looking on the internet for hallmarking standards; I only really know the English ones. It might be rolled gold, which is a fancy way of gold-plating, in both cases it should say so.

If you can't wear this, tell her so and give reasons. She might be more ticked off that she's been sold crap than with you.

I can wear most jewellery, though I'm not too much a fan of silver because it tarnishes. Oh the people who couldn't understand that during my stint at F.Hinds... I usually only change jewellery when I'm goign out, so I look for things I can wear all the time without having to take them off. I wear a singapore white gold chain round my neck and a stainless steel Kahuna watch water-resistant to 10ATM. When I hit 21, mum's gonna follow her family's tradition and give me a signet ring to wear that will also probably not be taken off again. :D

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I personally believe you should NEVER criticize a gift.

Probably, she thought she was buying something solid, and got ripped off. Or maybe she wasn't thinking. It doesn't matter. She bought you a gift. If you can't wear it, don't wear it. If her money is wasted, it's hers to waste.

My friend's closet is full of clothing I've been given in wrong size, color, cut, whatever. I just smile, thank the giver, and pass it on to a friend who it will suit. My jewelry box is full of junk jewelry my extremely senile old granny has given me. I simply don't wear it. But I think of her when I look at it. :)

Be gracious. If she meant well, your graciousness will be appropriate. If she meant to turn your crank backwards, your graciousness will annoy the hell out of her.

[LostMyMind]

i really don't know how to feel about this. heres the deal. any and all jewelry i wear has to be real gold. i can't wear anything else. i break out. my watch has a leather band all around it, so nothing but leather is touching my skin.
I'm the same way, except I can't even wear gold. So it's leather or cloth :( So all my jewelry (watches, rings) are either on my keychain or locked up in a safe.
now, to get things straight before i start sounding greedy. if i could wear fake jewelry, this would not be a problem. i neither need nor want really expensive jewelry. if i could wear costume jewelry, i would! this bracelet is really nice, but i can't wear it.

now, to the part that makes me wonder if i should be insulted. fiancees mother knows i can't wear fake jewelry. she has made many many many comments about it over the year. if i see something fake that i like, she will mention that i can't wear it. she KNOWS i can't wear it. she knows what happens.
Don't call it "fake jewelry". It wasn't fake, just wasn't gold completely. I would guess she thought it was gold. Silver is commonly used in jewelry. Most fake jewelry don't even have silver in it, just gold plated tin.

So you shouldn't be insulted, but I would inform her that the gold "worn" off. Which should tell her two things, you did like it and you were wearing it. Let her decide if she wants to deal with where she got the jewelry or not.

[Cia]

My guess is that the bracelet is vermeil. Vermeil isn't fake it is real sterling silver plated with real 14k - 24k gold. Your MIL probably just saw that it was gold and didn't notice that it was vermeil or know that the plating will eventually wear off.

Black Hills Gold - the only way to go.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Hubby does the same thing. Couple years ago he bought me an opal pendant. It was gold. I don't wear gold. He told me he knows I don't wear gold but he thought I'd like it anyway. WTF? I made him return it. It was over $200 and I almost beat him silly. I went to a place in my mall called Village Silver, and walked out with a gorgeous opal pendant with silver swirls encasing it for $35.



I'll take opals off ya'...it's my birthstone :D I used to have a really pretty one in tiny pendant with a really delicate setting. It got wet one too many times and the stone broke apart :( . My mom got the stone replaced but the colors just weren't the same.