I'm Having CS Chat Withdrawels

[Greenday]

I need it back! Thanks to the stupid firewall on my campus's internet, I can't get into Java or IRC chats. I need to talk to someone, and the person who I normally talk to is the person I need to talk about. She really needs to stop talking about her boyfriend all the time. We can't go one converstion without her somehow mentioning her boyfriend. He's a waste of life and she needs to get rid of him for her own good. But like, he cheated on her twice that she knows of, and he's always doing things that piss her off, yet for some reason she still adores him. I guess that's where we get the phrase "Love is blind". Yesterday was my friend's birthday and he pretty much just ruined her day. She was all happy and then when she talked to him on the phone, he pissed her off and it was basically a huge downer. Yet despite all this pissing her off lately, she still let's him use her car to drive here and see her, and now they are in her room, doing God only wants to know. Actually, I doubt even God wants to know. It just kills me to see my friends get so screwed over. And it's even worse that they KNOW they are being screwed over, yet they are perfectly happy with it.

I really, REALLY need to stop becoming friends with women. I'd say nearly ever girl I've befriended while at college so far has in some way given me shit or has made my life that much more complicated. Le sigh. Why can't all girls be sane like the ones on here?

[BookstoreEscapee]

I'm glad you think I'm sane :lol:

[Arachne]

Some people are gifted with a special brand of messed up, and come to the conclusion that love (or friendship, or whatever) is letting someone take advantage of them, and/or abuse them.

I'm one of those people. I have an unerring tendancy to seek out best friends who treat me like crap. And conversely, if someone's nice to me, I'm wary of them. I guess that a part of me deep down doesn't feel worthy of people being nice to me, so I figure that if someone's nice, they have some ulterior motive. Whereas someone treats me like crap? Clearly, I can trust them! They're honest! :rolleyes:

I KNOW that I do this, but I can't control the instinct. I've gotten to where I run people by Mr. Fly (who has really good instincts about people) before befriending them, to avoid letting more horrible people into my life. It sucks knowing when you feel drawn to someone that either you're drawn to them because they're really cool OR because they're real jerks, and when you distrust someone, either it's because they're no good OR because they're really nice people.

It took me a long time and a lot of pain to realize this tendancy of mine, and I don't think I ever would have if I hadn't ended up dating someone who was really good to me, so I'd have a standard against which to compare the bad behavior. Some people never put two and two together.

[TNT]

To slightly paraphrase Nelson Algren: "Never eat at a place called 'Mom's', never play cards with a man named 'Doc' and never be friends with a person who has more problems than you do." (The actual quotation ends with "... never sleep with a woman who has more problems than you do," but same general principle.)

I say this not to be a smart-ass... it's based on experience. It's the emotional equivalent of watching from afar as someone spends all their money on trivial stuff and then comes to you for a loan. Once the money is in hand, they go out and spend it frivolously.

Random thought to keep in mind: my favorite psychiatrist had one basic question that he always asked... "What's the adaptive purpose?" His theory was that nobody ever does anything they don't want to do. It may not be readily apparent what they get out of it -- not to observers nor themselves -- but somewhere there's a reason why they do what they do.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I'm one of those people. I have an unerring tendancy to seek out best friends who treat me like crap. And conversely, if someone's nice to me, I'm wary of them. I guess that a part of me deep down doesn't feel worthy of people being nice to me, so I figure that if someone's nice, they have some ulterior motive. Whereas someone treats me like crap? Clearly, I can trust them! They're honest! :rolleyes:

Repeat after me:

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me! :D

and I'll work on believing it too :o



I say this not to be a smart-ass... it's based on experience. It's the emotional equivalent of watching from afar as someone spends all their money on trivial stuff and then comes to you for a loan. Once the money is in hand, they go out and spend it frivolously.

you know my ex???