Todays early bird SC!

[Lulu]

First phonecall of the day, always a good sign for the rest of the day eh!

Snooty Old Bint : Yes I'd like to order some books. (note the lack of please)

Me : Ok, no problem, what are you after?

S.O.B : *insert mad long rant of book titles, series, authors and relevant details with no pause for breath for at least a minute, then an expectant pause*

Me : Erm...ok, if I could just get you to go through them one at a time for me so I can look them up for you, that'd be great...

S.O.B : *heavy sigh* well honestly, I JUST told you them...but ok...

we go through this three more times before she slows down enough for me to be able to check things for her.

S.O.B : This is taking forever! Just order me those three! My name is *insert the same long pauseless rant of name and number*

Me : *hastily scribbling notes relevant to the books she wants so I can look them up when I get her off the phone* Ok ma'am, but I'm not sure if the last one has been released yet, if you'd just hold on a moment I can give you the date for it's release...

S.O.B : *cutting me off* OH FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE! Just order it! And while I've got you on the phone WHY is your phone number NOT on your receipts? :rant:

Me : *sighing cos this is something we loathe but have no power to fix* We have no control over what the till prints to the receipts beyond the totals we input ma'am.

S.O.B : Well it's just not good enough! I had to phone directory enquiries to get this number! WHY are you not in the phone book?

Me : *double sighing, again, loathe this, but not something we can fix* We opened after the deadline for the phonebook entries had passed, we weren't able to be included for that reason.

S.O.B : That's ridiculous! I want those books tomorrow! :rant:

Me : If you'd just give me a moment to look up the expected delivery dates I can...

S.O.B : *cutting me off again* FINE then, Thursday at the latest! *hangs up*


I looked up her books, all of them are kids books, 6 aren't released yet, two are still in hardback. So she got the hardbacks, why the hell should we go through that for a measly £6.99, she can cough up the 2x £12.99 since she gave me no time to check either prices or availability and didn't specify paperbacks only! Bodes well for the rest of my day eh! :headdesk:

[Brighid45]

Ah yes . . . the Bookstore Sucky Customer, a specialized SC that all bookstore clerks know and loathe!

I once had an old bat reel off her two page list to me over the phone, ignoring my repeated requests for her to stop so I could put her on hold, because I was the only clerk working the registers and a line was forming at the desk. I finally had to hang up on her. An hour later, in she comes, mad as hell, and proceeds to harangue not just me, but the other clerks and my manager, who was cowering in the office. THEN she asked me if I had submitted her order and it had better come in by that Friday or she would sue the company! :lol:

[dawnmaria]

I always enjoyed the customers that couldn't remember the name of the book or anything about it, but knows for sure the cover was "insert color here". If I had a nickel for everytime I heard that I could buy a hard cover book myself!

[Jester]

Okay, I know it's not books, but that reminds me of the other day at the tourist town hotel bar.....

G=Girl that may or may not be 21, can't really tell.
M=dashingly handsome bartender. Wait, he called in sick. In that case, it's me.

G: "Hi, I'd like a shot. The bartender who usually works night always makes me something, but I don't know the name of it."
M: [trying desperately not to smack her and say I AM THE BARTENDER WHO USUALLY WORKS NIGHTS YOU DUMMY!] "Okay.....do you know what's in it?"
G: "Um, no. It's kind of pinkish."
M: [standing in front of a backbar that literally has over 200 bottles of spirits displayed] "That could be anything. No idea what it's called?"
G" "No."
M: [staring at her expectantly]
G: "Um, maybe you could just make something up for me."
M: "Sure, no problem. May I see your ID please?"
G: "I work across the street, and the other bartender knows me."
M: "Okay...but I don't...so sorry, but I need to see your ID."
G: [snottily] "So I have to go across the street to get my ID?"
M: "Sorry, but the state of Florida is kind of strict about these things."
G: "Fine! I'll be right back!"

She never came back. Shocking, I know.

Sorry, folks, but if you look anywhere near 30, or worse, close to 21 or younger, and you order an alcoholic drink, be prepared to show ID. We are not doing this to mess with you, but because the bean counters who run the states require us to do so. If you don't like it, bitch at the state legislature, don't give me attitude.

Sorry, but I will NOT be fired and have a court date just to avoid inconveniencing your lazy ass!

:mad:

[Barefootgirl]

Sorry, folks, but if you look anywhere near 30, or worse, close to 21 or younger, and you order an alcoholic drink, be prepared to show ID.

Even better, try remembering the name of the drink you want !

[protege]

I always enjoyed the customers that couldn't remember the name of the book or anything about it, but knows for sure the cover was "insert color here". If I had a nickel for everytime I heard that I could buy a hard cover book myself!

I've done that, sort of. Several years ago, I wanted a copy of Stirling Moss' biography...but all I knew about it was that the cover was silver. For those who don't know, Stirling Moss is a famous British racing driver--he's raced for many of the big names--Mercedes, Vanwall, Maserati, et al. As such, there are many different books about him. At least I knew that the book was about :p

Why can't customers realize that if all they know is what color the cover is, it's going to be *very* difficult, if not impossible to help them?

[Threesidedorchid]

My favorites are the customers that know one word of the title... only it's a word like 'life' or 'love'. Usually if they start to get huffy with me I just put the keyword 'life into the books in print program and show them the results list.

I haven't had anyone rattle off long lists, only two or three titles at a time, but I do tend to get older women on the phone who *s l o w l y * give me each book...
and then forget which books they've asked about already
or can't remember what I told them about each.

[Lulu]

Oh I know the ones...clearly we all share customers!! My personal fave ever on that subject : "Dunno the name...dunno who wrote it...dunno what it's about...dunno the publisher...it had THE in the title and the jacket was blue...you can search for it on your system from that right?" :rolleyes:

[amarisse]

i had a problem with a sucky customer behind me at barnes n nobles once. I was tryin to get some books for a project on Joan of Arc problem is most books about her have the title as just her name. I was nice and simply asked if i coudl be told what section and i'd look myself. That pissed the lady off behind me for some odd reason and she started screaming about how she needed the new janet evanovich book but didnt want to go get it herself. So the employee was able to use me as ascape goat and not have to deal with her.

[spirit]

I've done that, sort of. Several years ago, I wanted a copy of Stirling Moss' biography...but all I knew about it was that the cover was silver. For those who don't know, Stirling Moss is a famous British racing driver--he's raced for many of the big names--Mercedes, Vanwall, Maserati, et al. As such, there are many different books about him. At least I knew that the book was about :p

Why can't customers realize that if all they know is what color the cover is, it's going to be *very* difficult, if not impossible to help them?

Don't work retail anymore but used to, and I think I still remember Stirling Moss's book, large one, silver with his name going top to bottom rather than the normal across the front wasn't it?

But i've had that before as well
woman comes in saying I want a book I saw on GMTV this morning, did you see it? (I'd been working since 7, it starts at 7, no I havn't)

"Oh right then, I don't know who wrote it or what its about but its got a helicoptor on the cover and it was on TV this morning, do you have it?"
:banghead:

[ThePhoneGoddess]

Have I got one for you.

I worked in a bookstore one summer during college. This was the year Titanic came out with Winslet and DiCaprio.

A well-dressed middle aged lady comes in and comes up to me at the service desk...

'I'm looking for the book about the Titanic. Where can I find it?'

Me: *big smile* Ummm...which one?
SC: Oh you know, the original one!
Me: :confused: Ummm... You mean A Night To Remember?
SC: No! It's called Titanic! Oh, I know it doesn't have all the romantic stuff in it, that's made up, but it's a real book, the movie was based on it! I want to read the original novel.
Me: :headdesk::headdesk::headdesk: Let me show you the Titanic books we have over here...

This woman actually did not know it was a real event. She thought it was some famous novel from a long time ago.

[Kusanagi]

Story about a really stupid customer

You know, it's stories like this that make me wish that the ability to breed was not instinct but was instead a complicated process that required much education.

Be great to thin out the population of morons and wipe them from the gene pool.

[Lulu]

Ohhhhh how I LOVE it when they adapt books into films...imagine my joy after hearing the following every ten minutes last Christmas :

"Do you have the Narnia book?"
"Which one?"
"There's more than one?! :eek: "
:headdesk:

Rinse and repeat for Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Stormbreaker, Sahara...*trails off with dead eyes and faith in humanity vanishing by the second*

and, cos I just can't help myself...
Stirling Moss : The Authorised Biography HB ISBN : 1841882003
Stirling Moss : The Authorised Biography PB ISBN : 0752865625
:o

[theredbaron47]

Lulu.... please don't tell me you memorized the ISBN's for those two books :lol:

[Lulu]

:lol: no, I'm good, just not that good ;) I had the Neilsons database open in another window :lol:

[HYHYBT]

SC: No! It's called Titanic! Oh, I know it doesn't have all the romantic stuff in it, that's made up, but it's a real book, the movie was based on it! I want to read the original novel.Here ya go, Wreck of the Titan (http://www.msu.edu/~daggy/cop/effluvia/twott-t.htm). Written I-forget-when, but long before 1912.

[TYFSOK]

One time a woman demanded a copy of the book that George Lucas based Star Wars on. I showed her the novelizations, but no, those weren't good enough -- she wanted the ORIGINALS! And the originals for episodes 7, 8, and 9!:rolleyes:

[trunks2k]

I always enjoyed the customers that couldn't remember the name of the book or anything about it, but knows for sure the cover was "insert color here". If I had a nickel for everytime I heard that I could buy a hard cover book myself!

I think what I'm going to do is make a new database for books. Besides the normal categorization, part of the categorization would be by the color of cover, the color of the lettering on the cover, what picture may be on the cover, etc. It would also be categorized by thickness of the book, so the customer can hold up his/her fingers to the screen with the approximate width and the databse would filter out anything not within a certain range of that distance. On top of that, it would be searchable by "that author," by filtering by authors who have sold a certain amount of books, as well as filtering by "just came out" which would filter out any books that's older than 5 years.

I think I'd make millions.

[Imogene]

One time a woman demanded a copy of the book that George Lucas based Star Wars on.
Didja take her into the movie section to hand her the movie "Hidden Fortress"? (I think that's what it's called... been too long since I thought about it... *goes to check on IMDB* Yup.)

[norrina]

woman comes in saying I want a book I saw on GMTV this morning, did you see it? (I'd been working since 7, it starts at 7, no I havn't)

"Oh right then, I don't know who wrote it or what its about but its got a helicoptor on the cover and it was on TV this morning, do you have it?"
:banghead:

When I worked at Books-A-Million (regional chain bookstore), our system had a section where employees could pull up all the books discussed on Oprah. Quite a handy tool.

[Pagan]

I had some old fart wondering why JRR Tolkien hadn't written anything new now that his books were these great, big movies. Kept ranting on and on about it. When he took a breath, I told him (with much amusement) that there weren't ever going to be any new books by Tolkien. He asked why not? Well, sir, he died 30 years ago. So, unless he's learned to write from beyond the grave....

Seriously, the books for Episodes 7, 8, & 9?!:eek: We had some dork insisting that the movies would be out soon since Mr. Lucas has them in a vault somewhere. Even tried to tell us that Episodes 1, 2, & 3 had been filmed years ago. Completely ignored the fact that Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman couldn't have been in them if they had been!

And here's a good books one: "Yeah, you had a book with a red cover over here 3 or 4 months ago. Where is it now?" :confused:

How could you not know about the Titanic being a real ship that really sank?????

[Seanette]

I had some old fart wondering why JRR Tolkien hadn't written anything new now that his books were these great, big movies. Kept ranting on and on about it. When he took a breath, I told him (with much amusement) that there weren't ever going to be any new books by Tolkien. He asked why not? Well, sir, he died 30 years ago. So, unless he's learned to write from beyond the grave....
Death doesn't seem to have stopped V.C. Andrews. :devil:

[skeptic53]

I think what I'm going to do is make a new database for books. Besides the normal categorization, part of the categorization would be by the color of cover, the color of the lettering on the cover, what picture may be on the cover, etc. It would also be categorized by thickness of the book, so the customer can hold up his/her fingers to the screen with the approximate width and the databse would filter out anything not within a certain range of that distance. On top of that, it would be searchable by "that author," by filtering by authors who have sold a certain amount of books, as well as filtering by "just came out" which would filter out any books that's older than 5 years.

I think I'd make millions.Ask any pharmacist, pharm tech, nurse, or doc how many times they've hear this: "You know the one... it's a little white pill..."

There is a database like you describe, for pills. You can search by color, shape, and imprinted letters/numbers.

http://www.drugs.com/xq/cfm/pageID_1151/pid_1/qx/index.htm

[JustADude]

When I worked at Books-A-Million (regional chain bookstore), our system had a section where employees could pull up all the books discussed on Oprah. Quite a handy tool.

Holy... :eek: :D WOW! Someone actually made a tool to deal with stuff like that. Shame they couldn't expand it to every major show.

[Lulu]

Tolkien writing from beyond the grave :lol: well hey, it's not stopped many other authors has it ;)

As for the databases all us booksellers should have, there's a very useful one run by The Bookseller magazine here in the UK, it lists all the titles used in the media that week by the name of the programme they were on :D That thing is a work of genius for those "It was radio 4's book of the week!" moments ;)

[Mixed Bag]

Ah yes, red books...memories of similar pre-hack queries:

'Someone asks about a certain song on a certain CD, but they don't know who the artist is, or what the song is called, but tell you it says something about "Love you baby".'

'They ask for "that one video game where you're a guy, and you run around shooting things, and you get points, and you go through levels."'

[varmintjane]

When I worked at Books-A-Million (regional chain bookstore), our system had a section where employees could pull up all the books discussed on Oprah. Quite a handy tool.

I used to work there too and that section was freaking awesome. They also had any book discussed on the Today show too.

I did have some annoying girl come in one day looking for something vague. I only found a few in the computer search but none of them were what she wanted. That wasn't good enough for her even after I took her over to the section where something possibly related could be found. I did find ONE book that had what she wanted but it was one of those coffee table art books that cost $50. I offered it, said I could order one of the ones we didn't have in stock, but she said no. I apologized and went back to my register. Then she went to the OTHER cust.service desk and asked for a manager (I heard the page).

She complained to my assistant manager that I wasn't good at customer service and blah, blah blah she works at a gym and she knows what good customer service is. My manager came over, told me what she said and told me not to worry about it and made fun of her. :lol: But yeah, what did she want me to do, pull it out of my butt? I never thought so many stupid people would come into a bookstore.

Oh AND our store was connected to a mall. What fun that was.