View Full Version : Again? Really?

03-17-2011, 02:14 PM
This is the second time I've posted about this, and at least the fifth time it has happened.

Man rang up, asking me to send him a catalogue of our military titles. All good, happy to do so. He then asks if he gets a free book with it? I say no, obviously. Most of our titles are 25 RRP, so we don't hand them out like candy. He starts trying to flatter me. Clearly my voice makes me sound like an innocent little girl straight from her first dance. Denied. Eventually he pulls the inevitable line.

'With this recession, I'm surprised you're turning away potential business.'

Idiot. In this recession we don't give away merchandise for free.

03-17-2011, 03:53 PM
My first thought is, "Well sir, we're still IN business by not giving away things for free. If we did give things away, we would be losing money, and eventually no longer be in business. In turn that would eliminate the number of publishers for you to choose from. The competition, now aware of this, could simply raise their prices, thus taking more of your money. So, you see... "

03-17-2011, 04:13 PM
Why would he possibly get a free book for looking at a catalogue? My word.

03-17-2011, 04:26 PM
Of course you get a free book! It's called the catalogue, please feel free to read it as often as you'd like. I'm sure it will bring you much joy, if you'd like I can even autograph it for you, that is free too, maybe if you'd like I could put a note where to shove it if you don't like it. :devil:

Squeaks is tired and cranky today.

03-17-2011, 04:38 PM
Squeaks! :roll:

You reminded me of something. Way back when I owned a toy/hobby store, (And I need to get around posting the stories about that too...I got some doozies) Anyway, I was taking some survey, I don't remember why or where, but one of the questions was, what was the last 5 books you had read. Needless to say, the answers I put down were all toy catalogues. :lol:

In my defense the wooden toy catalogue was a real page turner!

03-17-2011, 04:53 PM
Your logic doesn't match our Earth logic, sir...

03-17-2011, 04:56 PM
"I'd be happy to send you a free book. All you need to pay is the 30lb s&h charges. We only accept cash and money orders for s&h on free books"

03-18-2011, 12:09 AM
'With this recession, I'm surprised you're turning away potential business.'

Because, of course, business is defined as "I send you some form of currency, you send me precious, precious books."

Not, "I ask for precious, precious books, and you send them because I'm me!"

Well, unfortunately sir, under our current system of capitalism in order for I, the merchant, to provide you, the customer, with goods and services I am forced to charge money. But one day, after the revolution and the means of production belong to the workers and peasants, ushering in a new age of socialism, I will be able to just give you whatever you want at no charge.

Best said with a bright smile and the perkiest, cheeriest voice you can muster.

03-18-2011, 02:16 AM
It's only potential business if there's potential return. Not the "because I say I may buy something later" type, but there's gotta be reason to believe it's worthwhile. Having a large, reputable store call? Possible freebie. Just any regular human? :roll:

Do what I do, tell him our catalogs are available online. Printing & mailing catalogs cost money too, after all.