weirdo magnet blas needs help! *very long*

[blas]

Ok, so everyone on here knows my inability to have relationships with boys, because they always end tragically (well, not literally...but you know).

It doesn't stop me from trying and trying and trying and trying over and over and over and over. Trust me, I'm getting tired of it, but I won't give up. Anywho....

I was on myspace and started messaging this guy. He seemed alright, has a nice profile....(I mean, doesn't everyone seem alright and "nice" at first glance?). We then started chatting on yahoo messenger. We exchanged phone #s.

He's really hell-bent on me taking more pics of myself. It really bothers me. I already have 5 on myspace, only 1 is old, the others are a week or two old (I take new ones every couple months and filter out old ones except good old ones). I told him that I have enough pictures, one body shot, a few face shots, and a tattoo picture. I said I would take new pics when I felt like it (yes, I'm rude sometimes). I told him to send me pics since he didn't have any of himself (just his vehicles). He did. He's not terrible looking.

Anyways, not only did he bug me nonstop the past few days on getting new pics (grrrrrrr), but he is just really starting to bug me in general. He text messages me (big pet peeve of mine, because I don't have free texts), and I'm beginning to think that he is extremely insecure.

Why do I think this? Well, I'm on here on and off almost all day everyday, and then right before I go to work at night, I flip flop between here and myspace every few minutes. Just the other night, he must have sent me a message while I was on here and typing a huge reply (or I could have been in the bathroom or kitchen, or maybe I was reading a long thread on here?), and when I got to myspace I had two messages...and the second one was "I guess you don't want to talk to me anymore". Just because I didn't answer in 10 fricken seconds. Then after a bit, I had to go to work, so I told him I was leaving for work, and we'd talk later. I shut off the computer and went to work. What did I find this morning on myspace? Two messages, and again, the second one saying "I guess you don't want to talk to me anymore". Hello, I said I had to GO TO WORK.

Everyone can be a bit insecure, some of us more than others. But my instincts are telling me that this guy is as insecure, if not more, than that kid that was stalking me. Now I'm not going to assume that he's like that, but people who are that insecure drive me absolutely crazy. He is really getting on my nerves. The way I feel right now, it's not that I have to go to work or leave somewhere, I really don't want to talk to him anymore.

My gut is telling me that this guy is an insecure basket case.

Luckily, he has no clue where I live or where I work or what I drive. Sure, if he came to my city and saw me, there may be a problem, but I pretty much think I'm safe.

But I'd like some advice as to how to go about telling him I really don't want to speak with him anymore, and maybe a nice way of saying that he's starting to scare me??

Any advice is appreciated, thanks guys :D

[Ringman]

i think you can block people on myspace. :)

Blas i have seen your pictures and think you are very pretty why you get the weirdo's is beyond me. :shrug: sounds like this guy can use a little salmon smacking :salmon:

[COMINATCHA]

Go with you gut instincts Blas, they are usually right. Just tell him basically what you told us, something like "I think you are a bit insecure, and I don't want to talk to you anymore, unless you can find a way to relax and not freak me out?"
Okay well maybe you could make that sound a tad nicer, since he seems a bit overly sensitive and may not take that well. He may not realise how he has been acting, and just needs a nudge in the right (less annoying) direction?

If you tell him exactly how you feel, and he has a tantrum about it and gets more annoying, then tell him you are blocking him (if you can do that?) and that its his loss (which it is).

And to me, a guy who is so adamant about getting pics of you just screams - 'PERV'

I know how you feel about always seeming to attract the weirdos, i'm starting to think I have that same disease as well! Good luck, let us know how it goes. Don't put up with any crap ok, you deserve good.

[Kiwi]

RUN as fast as you can away from this guy.

Send him a very clear messege (keep a copy) asking him not to contact you in any way shape or form. Block him from your myspace/msn and inform him that if he sends you any texts, you will be reporting him to the phone company.

Then cut off all contact. He is a basket case, plan and simple. Get right away from him before he hurts you.

[LadyMage]

Much as I hate saying this, there really is no way around other than blocking him off of EVERY contact medium. If he changes sns and messages you asking why you don't want to speak with him? Tell him the truth: he's creeping you out and is an insecure wannastalker. There are nicer ways of saying this, but when it comes to wannastalkers, I'm not one for pleasantry...wannastalkers are the worst kind of human.

BLOCK. Block consistently and permanently. AT ALL TIMES.

[blas]

Any myspace geniouses out there, do other members get a message when you block them, letting them know, or is it like yahoo messenger where you always appear offline to them?

I remember I blocked that mentally disabled guy because he was bugging me, and I told him my computer had crashed. I wasn't sure if he knew I'd blocked him or not...

Either way, it's getting done.

[LadyMage]

Not a myspace genius but I think it happens the same way, it's like that person is suddenly disappeared.

I haven't had to block anyone, yet.

[TruthHurts]

If they message you on Myspace I believe they will get a message that they are blocked when they try to send it (I asked a friend who had gotten blocked herself long story)
My ex whom I hadn't talked to in a year (had already blocked him from email and messenger) decided it would be prudent to put comments on my blog. I blocked him rather quickly.

As for the creepo I've been exactly where you are, guys like that usually have so little going for them that they latch onto the first person to show them a little kindness. Best bet is to send a cease and desist message and if he tries to message you under a different SN, report him for harrassment.

Just my two cents though hang in there

[One-Fang]

I don't know that 'accusing' him of sounding like a stalker will work in your favour. Just tell him honestly that you've decided that you no longer want to pursue a friendship here (or anything else!). Ask him to stop messaging you and wish him well with future acquaintances he makes.

Then, if he doesn't stop contacting you, you can go into the whole "you're a stalker" thing. :)

[blas]

I had never planned on saying anything about stalking.

I just remember that kid that stalked me, and just in general, people who are extremely insecure like that tend to cling, cling, and start to become obsessive. It's like they go hand in hand.

Like I said before, everyone is a bit insecure, I admit that I can be at times. But when people act extremely impatient with someone, extremely clingy, and exhibit passive/aggressive behavior (such as him trying to make me take more pics of myself and then switching gears and sending me text messages), that rings trouble for me.

Why me????

I got followed nearly every night by that one kid, I got sometimes 10 or more phone calls from that kid, including a voicemail that said he knew exactly what time I'd left work, exactly which store I went to after work, exactly which route I took home, and basically that he knew I was home and he probably knew what room I was in as well.

Then I had a borderline mentally disabled guy that had a major crush on me, who'd come to the gas station nearly every night and hold up the line whining that he didn't have a gf, and kept trying to get me to call him, gave me his # but I threw it away, and after I'd blocked him off myspace and lied (told him my computer crashed) he told me to buy the software (or whatever) it is that prevents viruses and blocks porn(?!?!!?) then out loud he goes "I may look like an average guy, but I love to watch porn". I was so embarassed, and some regular customers were teasing me about it. And since he was.....slow.......I couldn't tell him what I really felt, because I can't be mean to someone who is slow like that. Eventually, he got the hint and left me alone. It probably hurt, but he wasn't comprehending that I had a bf (shhh) and I was engaged (shhhhhh.....that part came later when he was still coming in and bugging me).

Gaaah....

Make them leave me alone.

[protege]

...and I thought I had it bad in college...

Freshman year, I was dating someone...who was a bit odd. After a few months, she started becoming a bit possessive. It wasn't helped that I was friends with quite a few ladies. I'm not sure why, but it maybe had to do with the fact that I wasn't hitting on them constantly ;) Anyway, she couldn't handle that, and would sometimes get upset if she saw me with them.

The last straw came shortly after Christmas vacation. I'd gone home, she called me multiple times. Here's the kicker...I *never* gave her my phone number! Apparently, rather than ask me, she waited until I had to "use the dorm facilities," and pulled the number off my roommate's phone bill...which was sitting on his desk :eek:

She would follow me around campus at night, or even during the day between classes. I knew something was up when I'd see her constantly in the business department (she was an education major), or even near the service fraternity office (she wasn't a member, and as such, wasn't supposed to be in there--we're a bit protective of our "secrets"). Avoiding her during the day was difficult, as the college campus was pretty open--in certain spots, you can see all the way across campus. Night time was another story--I could easily disappear into the shadows and lose her.

That wasn't it though. She spent nearly all day and some of the night sitting in the dorm parking lot waiting for me to show up, and was pissy when I showed up "late" :eek: Uh, never mind that it had snowed the night before I had car problems..

The next day, I'd had enough, and had to dump her. She was all :cry: when I told her, but oh well. Sorry if I sound like a jerk, but I couldn't take any more of her.

What I'm trying to say is, if someone continues to follow/harass you after you've told them you're not interested...you'll have to find a way to get rid of them.

[purplecat41877]

I would be honest with him. For example, you can tell him that he's making you uncomfortable and to stop.;)

[chryso]

When you first begin seeing someone you are generally on your best behavior and presenting yourself in the most positive way that you can. Anytime someone is making you this uncomfortable in the beginning of a relationship get out of it as fast as possible. Things are only going to get worse.

This guy sounds like cominatcha's trainer guy. :eek: