Female Anatomy Lesson (some TMI!)

[Laund-o-rama Mama]

Two girls, sisters, were arguing loudly in the laundromat the other night. Thank goodness no other customers were there!

Girl: Ugh, for the LAST TIME! It's not called a "bean"!
Sister: Yes it is! That's what it's called!
G: It's a CLITORIS!
S: Well what difference does it make?! Everyone calls it a bean, that's what it's called!
G: So if you went to a doctor, and he called it a "bean", you'd take him seriously?
S: Yeah, Whatever!
G: I would walk the fuck out! That doctor doesn't know shit, it's called a CLIT, and if he doesn't even know that then what the fuck's he doing being a doctor?
S: What, you think I'm stupid? That I don't know anything about vaginas? What do YOU know?
G: HELLO!? I'm GAY! A LESBIAN! I KNOW ABOUT VAGINAS.

Then, they started arguing about what the various labia were called. :no:

Their brother was with them. So was their mother. :jawdrop:

The girl who called it a bean looked about 15 and VERY pregnant. :cry:

[XCashier]

:wtf:

Oh-kaayyy...a wee bit TMI...time for a round of :brainbleach:

[42_42_42]

I have never, ever heard the clitorus referred to as a "bean."

[Bright_Star]

I better tell my mom I now have a "Bean"...lol.

[Moosenogger]

Why does it not surprise me that the girl who apparently doesn't know anything about the female anatomy is pregnant?

Also, the laundromat is not the best place to argue the finer points of anyone's anatomy, much less the female anatomy.

[skeptic53]

I had a patient (female) once who called it "the little man in the boat". Another (male) called it "the pearl in the clam".

[dragon_wings]

*giggles madly* Wow. My brain can't wrap itself around that.

[MoonCat]

God, just when I think I've heard everything....


I don't know which is worse....bean or the pearl in the clam. I mean, excuse me, CLAM??!!

[Stormraven]

I've heard it called a 'bean', as in 'flicking the bean', but those who said that also knew it was slang.

[Slayer]

Just... just... I don't even know what to say.

[Seshat]

<sighs>

Clitoris.
Vulva.
Labia majora.
Labia minora.
Mons venus.
Vaginal vestibule.
etc, etc, etc.

No beans involved. Or peas, or little men.

[dragon_wings]

@ Seshat: sounds like you've had to make this lecture before.

[Seshat]

<giggles>

Who, me?


Ignorance story - I think I may have told this once before.

When my mother was in hospital, in early labour with me, she shared a room with another early-labour mother. The other woman was terrified, and asked Mum where the baby came out. Like, did it come out your mouth, or what?

.....

Mum hit the nurse call button, the Matron (this was late 1960s, they were still called Matrons then) spent quite a bit of time in with the other woman.

And my mother became a serious advocate of sex education in schools. I knew the basics of the anatomical differences between boys and girls from a very young age, could explain the menstrual cycle (roughly, anyway) before I started, and understood the biological consequences of pregnancy before my hips were broad enough to carry a child.

Of course, Mum's program of sex ed missed one key piece of information. I didn't learn that sex is fun until much later. :lol:

[dragon_wings]

Lol. My mom's a nurse and my dad's a former Green Beret medic. I knew about sex early as well. Early enough that I don't ever remember getting an actual 'sex talk'.

[Marmalady]

*nods* I remember a friend of mine telling me that when her mother was pregnant with her, right up until she was in labour she had no idea how the baby was going to be born. Apparently she asked the midwife 'How does the baby get out?' and was told 'The same way it got in, my dear!' and when the penny dropped she was all :eek:

I never got sat down for a 'sex talk' either. My mum took the view that as and when I asked the questions, she would give me the answers honestly. I knew what was what before I left primary school.

[Mr Hero]

I guess I'll be going home and eating beans tonight.

[gerund]

<sighs>

Clitoris.
Vulva.
Labia majora.
Labia minora.
Mons venus.
Vaginal vestibule.


What makes me laugh is when they call all of this "the 'gina" or just "my vagina".

There is lots of parts to it, and they all have different names. The vagina is just the bit that men want. :lol:

[Flying Grype]

Lol. My mom's a nurse and my dad's a former Green Beret medic. I knew about sex early as well. Early enough that I don't ever remember getting an actual 'sex talk'.

My mom was just a bit of a hippie, and I was reading when I was three. :D She got me a copy of "Where Did I Come From?" and I can't remember the first time I read it. I can't remember The Talk either.

Interestingly enough that book DID mention that sex was fun. It said that it was tiring like jumping rope for a long time but that it felt good. On the other hand it didn't go into much detail about the, uh, secondary bits such as clitoris, labia, testicles, etc. I guess they figured those would be confusing when the book is essentially about how babies are made.

[C. Cecil Ivanish]

I guess I'll be going home and eating beans tonight.Nice new take for "I'll be in my bunk" I'd say. I might even recycle it.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

You know, the sad bit is that the one of them has no clue about her own body, and the other thinks that because she's into girls is the reason she does. (Her comment was funny, and I get what she's saying, but still.)

I'm a raging straight and I know all about the vag. You know why? Because I'm the proud owner of one. :rolleyes:

[Sparky]

One of my pet peeves is people referring to the female external sex organs as the vagina. As in: Put some pants on! People can see your vagina! Um, no. Not unless they have speculums.

My favorite name for ... whatever part of the anatomy it means ... comes from Tom Robbins' Still Life with Woodpecker, in which he refers to the female ... um ... parts as "the peachfish." Quoting from memory here, but it was something like "that delightful thing, part fur, part fin...."

At one point his character is considering dating again after a painful breakup. Quote:

Her head said no. The peachfish said it was about damn time. Her heart did a flip flop and voted with the peachfish.

[Yarnil]

I made a beandish this weekend...Didnt look anything like a female part. The girl *might* be wrong there :roll:

[ShinyGreenApple]

That's it. The human race is doomed.

Reminds me of my intro to CNA class where one girl asked how kidney stones came out, and the teacher explained. So the student is all "Oh, well then why does everybody scream and cry 'bout 'em? That shouldn't be too bad, it's where my babies came out."

Everyone else: :eek::spew:

That turned into a 40 minute rabbit trail about the female anatomy, which later the teacher admitted to 'never being so embarrassed for another person in my LIFE!' When we were finishing up for the day, she said something about where semen was stored and "If you need to know how it gets out of the penis, please see me after class before you leave and we'll talk."

[Seshat]

What makes me laugh is when they call all of this "the 'gina" or just "my vagina".

There is lots of parts to it, and they all have different names. The vagina is just the bit that men want. :lol:

I dunno... men have wanted all sorts of aspects, in my experience. Including some parts that are nowhere near the crotch.

But yes, the vagina proper is internal.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I AM THE CLIT COMMANDER!

:D

Sorry folks. The otherwise-useless TV and movie quotes are really hitting the surface today.

[barainga]

What does the Coalition for the Liberation of Itinerat Tree dwellers have to do with the female anatomy?

In other news, what the hell. Arguing about something like that. Perhaps Laundromats are the first open discussion forums, posibly a prelude to the internet.

[Becks]

Holy biscuit. The conversation in the OP was so stupid it literally made me sick.

[manybellsdown]

If she'd stuck with "flicking the bean" she wouldn't be pregnant.

[taxguykarl]

:brainbleach:The irony is the pregnant one didn't know the medical terms for the affected anatomy.:rolleyes: Another irony: the ones who shouldn't breed are.:eek:

[Moirae]

rofl. That girl should be embarrassed. So should her mother.

This would be why sex education in schools is so important. I never had the "sex talk" with my mother, because they taught us all about it in school starting in grade three, and yes, every single year from then on till graduation. Yes, mum had to sign something agreeing to it, but she was all for it. She told me they could explain it better than she could. The schools made sure we were well educated in terminology and function. They also made sure to scare the living crap out of us about diseases and pregnancy with video's and stuff, and made sure that we knew how to prevent both but that we were absolutely positive that none of that was 100% and the only way NOT to get pregnant was to not have sex.

I don't understand why this is such a hard concept to deal with for some people.

[Android Kaeli]

I had to reboot my brain there several times. I KNEW what the general anatomy of the male/female body was well before I got into middle school. Even then the sex ed. course wasn't all that great but it still taught us the basics.

Though I do remember one girl not going through the course, as it was opitional and us students had a form to take home about it [ those that didn't go through this course had other work to do to make up for it ]. I think from what I can remember, her parents thought that was a course that was highly inapropriate for us kids.

[LewisLegion]

No beans involved. Or peas, or little men.

I disagree. Sometimes little men ARE involved.

**stare**

[gerund]

I dunno... men have wanted all sorts of aspects, in my experience. Including some parts that are nowhere near the crotch.


I had assumed that this (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fleshlight) (Do I have to say NSFW here?) was enough of an argument to prove my case.

[Jay 2K Winger]

I don't understand why this is such a hard concept to deal with for some people.

Because they reach puberty/teenage years, and they get the common teenage Senses of Invulnerability and Inculpability (screw you spell-check, that is a word, I just coined it) and just assume that nothing bad will ever happen to them, and damn any statistics or evidence otherwise, because they're Speshul, and if anything does go wrong, it's always Someone Else's Fault.

"I'll never be in a car accident, that always happens to stupid people, and I'm not stupid, Q.E.D." then becomes "I was in a car accident, but it was totally the fault of the other driver for not stopping when I ran that red light."

"I'll never get pregnant, that always happens to sluts and skanks, and I'm not a slut or a skank, so." then becomes "That asshole got me pregnant, he should have known I wasn't on the pill and been more careful and worn a condom!"

And so on and so on.

[Nayeli_Sabia]

It's possible, that the more informed girl was sick of the uninformed girl's ignorance, willful or otherwise, and it all boiled to a head in public.

Sometimes public humiliation works wonders

[Laund-o-rama Mama]

It's possible, that the more informed girl was sick of the uninformed girl's ignorance, willful or otherwise, and it all boiled to a head in public.

Sometimes public humiliation works wonders

I think this is true, from her tone of pure exasperation. The more informed girl was also older (in college, because I earlier heard her mention her "dorm laundry" to her mom).

I forgot to mention the best part. After arguing for a while, the older one says that they should keep their voices down because "that girl (me) can hear us". Her sister said nu-uh, she's listening to her iPod. (I have my iPod on when I start closing up, but always turn it off if customers walk in. But I still had the earbuds in and was up at the desk working on the deposit.)

They debated whether or not I was listening, and they both stared my way. Suppressing giggles, I said out loud and clear, "I can totally hear you."

They cracked up. But unfortunately, that didn't actually stop the argument from continuing. They picked up the Great Bean and Vulva Debate soon after.

[AriGriffin]

All I can remember from sex education was having to watch a video in which varrious comedians/celebrities from the late 80s and early 90s talked about safe sex and being told not to laugh.

Yeah, I only got to watch a couple of minutes of it before laughing at Sinbad dressed as a condom and getting sent to the Principal's office. (Time Out: The Truth About HIV, AIDS, and You- 1992 and yes, it is on Youtube. Urkel raps in it too.)

[Sparky]

They picked up the Great Bean and Vulva Debate soon after.

This is a story to save for your grandchildren. "Hey kids, did I ever tell you about the Great Bean and Vulva war of 2011?"

[Captain Trips]

Sounds like sum mo' po' white trash.

[raw456]

I'm surprised no one here has called it The Scroll Button yet??

(cookies for reference) :D


I never got "the talk" when I was young. When I was 12 my mum left a packet of maxipads on my bed and a book entitled "so you're becoming a woman". I figured the rest out myself:)

[BlaqueKatt]

gives a strange meaning to this image. (http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/66292672/5359326)..(which is also Erikai's avi)

[Plague*Star]

This is a story to save for your grandchildren. "Hey kids, did I ever tell you about the Great Bean and Vulva war of 2011?"

I was thinking more along the lines of an animated film:
"It's the Great Bean and Vulva, Charlie Brown!"
Gynecological Advice, 5¢
P*S

[Nayeli_Sabia]

I'm surprised no one here has called it The Scroll Button yet??

(cookies for reference) :D


Scroll Button! As explained by Jennie Breeden (http://thedevilspanties.com/archives/1407)

I can has cookies please?:D

[Moosenogger]

...I had an older woman (probably mid 40s) in my college psychology course who didn't understand why mixing semen from two men didn't result in them BOTH being the child's father.

The room got dead quiet after that question, I tell you what.

[Zaiida]

:roll: Bean. I had baked beans for dinner so I guess I had an orgy of clitorises.

A bean. I guess that makes some sense. Think of the sizes, Butter or Broadbean or even Pea!, peas are beans right?. Oh great now I'm overthinking this.

*Looks down* No I will not. but I really want to dammit

Never got the 'Talk' from my folks but we had various anatomy and biology books floating around so I picked up fairly early on what was what and promptly shared it at my Catholic primary school. Fun note and call home that was.

[dalesys]

Anybody thinking of Beanie-Weenies?

[UncleImpy]

Well, it was a laundromat, right?

(wait for it)

Where else should this family be airing their dirty laundry?

:p

[Geek King]

Do You like beans?
Do you like George Wendt?
Would you eat beans with George Wendt?
Would you go see George Wendt in a bean-eating movie?
While eating beans with George Wendt?

This thread has broken that episode for me for all time now. :lol:

[Ironclad Alibi]

I am reminded of a book I got back in the mid 1980s titled The Bean Report. It didn't mention anything about the female anatomy. It was about the effects of eating beans.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

So apparently I was watching hardcore porn when Mr. Bean was still on TV?

[powerboy]

I've heard it called a 'bean', as in 'flicking the bean', but those who said that also knew it was slang.

I have also heard it as slang

[tropicsgoddess]

I've never heard of that part being called a bean....but wow...TMI! :brainbleach:

[Becks]

Do You like beans?
Do you like George Wendt?
Would you eat beans with George Wendt?
Would you go see George Wendt in a bean-eating movie?
While eating beans with George Wendt?

This thread has broken that episode for me for all time now. :lol:

The Animaniacs are now ruined for me. *pout*

[EricKei]

gives a strange meaning to this image. (http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/66292672/5359326)..(which is also Erickei's avi)
*snort* :spew:

My computer says that it's he's lucky I wasn't drinking anything when i read that. I would have had to turn myself in for a Rule 1 violation >_<

[pzychobitch]

The first thing I thought of when reading the post was that Gerard Butler movie with Katherine Heigle.... I forget the name of it right now.

[Mr Hero]

Do You like beans?
Do you like George Wendt?
Would you eat beans with George Wendt?
Would you go see George Wendt in a bean-eating movie?
While eating beans with George Wendt?

This thread has broken that episode for me for all time now. :lol:

Damnit! I was just about to post on this thread in a reference to this episode. After reading this topic, I can answer the survey question that yes, I do like beans, and yes, I do enjoy movies about beans.

[dragon_wings]

The first thing I thought of when reading the post was that Gerard Butler movie with Katherine Heigle.... I forget the name of it right now.

Are you referring to the movie PS I Love You?

[EricKei]

I do like beans, and yes, I do enjoy movies about beans....fava beans? Perhaps with a nice chianti? :devil:

[Andara Bledin]

After reading this topic, I can answer the survey question that yes, I do like beans, and yes, I do enjoy movies about beans.
Yes, but would you see George Wendt in a bean-eating movie?

^-.-^

[Treasure]

The first thing I thought of when reading the post was that Gerard Butler movie with Katherine Heigle.... I forget the name of it right now.
The Ugly Truth

(PS I love you, was Gerard Butler and Hilary Swank, and much sappier)

[CaroPhoenix]

Hmmm ... This explains Mr. Rum's preoccupation with baked beans, red kidney beans, black beans, and all various and sundry beans known to man.

:D

[dragon_wings]

The Ugly Truth

(PS I love you, was Gerard Butler and Hilary Swank, and much sappier)

Oops. Though I was going by memory. And I haven't seen The Ugly Truth.

[Laund-o-rama Mama]

He saw beans, lots of beans lots of beans lots of beans.... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRtrqhVe3Ao)

[Ironclad Alibi]

Here is the result (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agQFh6y4-jE) of eating lots and lots of beans. NSFW