Lightbulb jokes

[SongsOfDragons]

(I hope these are okay!!!)

How many students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Well, two of course, but you have to wonder how they got in there.

How many Space Marines does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One to hold the bulb and ninety-nine to turn the Rhino.

Anyone got any more?:D

[Boozy]

This is an old classic that I'm sure everyone's heard, but I've tailored it for CS:

How many SCs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One - they just hold the bulb and the world revolves around them.

[rvdammit]

How many Microsoft Programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they just define darkness as the new standard.

[Fera Festiva]

How many Freudian therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two - one to change the bulb and one to hold the penis - ladder! I meant ladder!

</psychology geek>

:D

[DarthRetard]

Fera, that one's hilarious....I'm telling that one thursday at work...

Here's my addition....

How many Irishmen (im irish) does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

100. 1 to hold the lightbulb, the rest to drink till the room spins.

How man Iraqis does it take to launch a Scud Missile?(OT i know, but it's a variation cause they dont have lightbulbs....kind of..)

3. One to fuel it.
One to launch it, and
One to watch CNN to see where it lands.

[Plaidman]

How many Dragon ball Z characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

1: But it takes ten eposides and a movie.

[hecubus]

How many lightbulbs does it take to change a dyslexic?

[iradney]

Q. How many Zen Masters does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. A bathtub filled with brightly coloured fish

[SongsOfDragons]

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Television.

[Kara]

How many H4X0RZ does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1337

[Jpurple]

Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?


No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.

[DarthRetard]

OH! Jpurple you just reminded me of my old band lightbulb jokes.....haaaaa....


How many trumpet players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

5. 1 to do it, and the other four to tell him how much better they could have done it, and with more style and range too.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

How many Chicago Bears fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Five. One to screw in the bulb and 4 to reminisce about how good the '85 Bears were.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb.
None! They all cut themselves in the dark.

[Rapscallion]

How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a light bulb?

You don't know. You weren't there!

Rapscallion

[BlaqueKatt]

how many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?

one but it really has to want to change


how many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

one because apparently I'm the only one that knows how<cries>


how many feminatzis does it take to change a lightbulb?

that's not funny.

[MystyGlyttyr]

How many pro wrestlers does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to "take out" the old lightbulb, one to get the new lightbulb over, one to get some heat off the new lightbulb's brilliance, and one to complain that the lightbulb has been holding him back for years.

It's mostly only funny to wrestlers but I still like it :D

[protege]

Q - How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A - Any number, but they always screw it up.

Q - How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A - Four. One to change the bulb, and three to write about how the bulb is exploiting the socket.

Q - How many believable, competent, "just right for the job" presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?
A - It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?

Q - How many Chinamen does it take to change a light bulb?
A - Thousands, because Confucious say many hands make light work.

Q - How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A - Three. One to screw it in, one to watch, and one to shoot the witness.

A - One.
Q - How many psychics does it take to change a light bulb?

[DannyboyO1]

How many algebra professors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Solve for X.



How many [noun] does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

[number] [reason why number is hilarious]

Mad libs? I never metahumor I didn't like.

[Rahmota]

A few science fiction lightbulb jokes.

How many Daleks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Why would they want to replace the light bulb they just exterminated.

How many vulcans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2 but they can only do it once every 7 years.

How many red shirts (TOS) does it take?
Nobody knows they keep dying.

How many officers (TNG) does it take?
The entire bridge staff but only after a briefing and they try to talk it into changing on its own.

How many Klingons does it take?
3, one to change it and the others to chant a lightbulb changing opera.

How many Talosians (TOS) does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one but they only make you think the bulb changed.
(If you get that reference then welcome to the trek cluub...):)

[porkinator]

I am able to change a lightbulb by myself:

I hold the bulb to the socket and the world revolves around me. :D

[XCashier]

How many Klingons does it take?
3, one to change it and the others to chant a lightbulb changing opera.
Here's an alternate version:
How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Klingons aren't afraid of the dark.

:)

[April]

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

5. One to do it and 4 others to joke about the screwing part

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2. The problem is getting them in there in the first place

[DarthRetard]

Kind of OT, but how did the lightbulb joke originate, do you know? I mean, I just wonder if it's cause lightbulb changing is supposed to be so simple and it's joking insult, or what?

Anyways, here's my contribution....

How many Taliban does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. The lightbulb was created by an American. JIHAD!:D

[HYHYBT]

Kind of OT, but how did the lightbulb joke originate, do you know? I mean, I just wonder if it's cause lightbulb changing is supposed to be so simple and it's joking insult, or what?

Well, the light bulb joke dates back to the founding of Venice in 421...

(no, I couldn't find their origin. Instead I found a page of Star Trek scripts about changing light bulbs)
http://www.eviloverlord.com/parodies/

[Gawdzillers]

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a human?
A: TIME PARADOX

[flybye023]

Q. How many humans does it take to change a lightbult?
A. Lightbulb? What's a lightbulb

Q. How many Ferengi does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Ferengi don't make change

Q. How many Cardassians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Two. One to do it and the other to kill him and take all the credit

[Sofar]

How many skaters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Hella.

[Midnight12]

How many People with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb

Hey wanna go ride bikes!

(if you get this then you know what its |:-P

[MCSledgehammer]

How many Marxists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. The lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

[Spiffy McMoron]

Q: How many divorced men does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Nobody knows-the judge never gives them the house.

[Spiffy McMoron]

Q: How many emo kids does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. They'd rather sit in the dark and cry. :p

[stormtreader]

Q: How many sound technicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One....Two...One, Two...