Can we all post this sign?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Don't know where this belongs, exactly...

Someone on PFB has an avatar that I think all retail establishments should be allowed to post:

Warning: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus.

:roll:

[ForestDragon]

I always fancied one I saw in a comic shop someplace:

Shoplifters will be merrily beaten to a bloody pulp.

Another abandoned children one I heard of said:

Children left unattended will be given triple shots of espresso and a free puppy.
:lol:

[XCashier]

"If you are grouchy, irritable or just plain mean, there will be a $100 surcharge for putting up with you."

[Mr B Rabbit]

We have a sign up in the IT office which states that no unattended children are allowed to enter.

It gets better if you know I work in a school. Sadly we're not allowed to enforce it.

[Boozy]

An interesting one in a local independent clothing store:

"There is a special place in hell for those who steal from small independent shops. If you insist on shoplifting, go to Walmart. They can afford it."

[Strange Magic]

"Unattended children will be given a triple expresso and a puppy upon leaving"

[digilight]

I've seen the one saying that they would give the kids expresso and a puppy at a shop I go to.

My mechanic has a sign that says

"We screwed the last guy so we could pass the savings on to you".

One of my clients has a sign on their door saying

"this is a cell phone free office. If you forget and use your phone, you will need to make a $10.00 donation to the whatevercoolcharietywearesponsering."

[Ackee]

What a brillant idea.

[Rahmota]

In the office at the scrap yard I deal with they have this sign:

NO returns. If you bought the wrong part you now have a spare.

[Midnight12]

Sign on the Local Bar/Bingo in my area (Both owned by the same person)
"No one under 18 is allowed in here, if they get in, they will be desensitized TO EVERYTHING, and the parent blamed for negligence"

[DesignFox]

A couple fun ones I've seen:

In a museum shop- "Unattended children will be sold"

Next to a big urn- "Ashes of problem customers" (gotta love the Renaissance Fair)

My dad has a sign in his shop that has a list of hourly charges next to different customer infactions. i.e. if you tried to fix it yourself first... That sign was pretty funny, I wish I could remember the list off the top of my head... Recently he taped over the rates and put higher numbers..when I asked him about this he simply responded, "Inflation" :lol:

"We screwed the last guy so we could pass the savings on to you." - My dad has that one, too. :lol:

[BookstoreEscapee]

I saw a picture of a sign somewhere, I think it was at a pub in Ireland: "We are closed because we are closed." :D

[MCSledgehammer]

At the grocery store, somebody modified the leash law ordinance sign to read "All children must be kept on leashes and attended at all times." Love it!

[B&NGoddess]

"children left unattended will be towed."

"survivors will be prosecuted."

those are my faves.

[Drakstern]

Comic shop I used to frequent.

"All unattended children will be conscripted into the Imperial Guard TO FIGHT THE SPAWN OF THE WARP FOR THE GLORY OF THE EMPEROR OF MANKIND!"

[blas]

My dad actually bought a sign that said one of our favorite sayings in retail...

"Lack of planning on your part does NOT contsititue an emergency on my part!"

[Midnight12]

My dad actually bought a sign that said one of our favorite sayings in retail...

"Lack of planning on your part does NOT contsititue an emergency on my part!"

this SHOULD be a sign

Poor time management on your part does not mean a re-prioritizing on our part
Or
the Customer is not always right but often left!
(the Customer is not always right but often not paying attention/not in their right mind) and so on

[KaeZoo]

At a mechanic's shop:

Labor: $60/hr
If you watch: $90/hr
If you help: $120/hr

[counterjockey]

Here's an idea that I think would be hard to argue with. Most restrooms in stores, restaurants etc., have signs to the effect of "Employees Must Wash Hands Before Returning To Work."

Mine would say "Employees Must Wash Hands Before Returning To Work. Customers Must Wash Hands Before Returning To Shop." (With appropriate modifications, i.e., in a restaurant "Guests Must Wash Hands Before Returning To The Table OR NO DESSERT!!!)

[myswtghst]

I have a sign on my desk that reads "I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter." If only my customers could see it. ;)

[XCashier]

Slightly :ot:, but I have a refrigerator magnet with a picture of Xena drawing her sword and the caption, "I just want to get through the day without having to kick someone's ass." :D

[Blueberry]

At my store in the kid's section we have:

Unattended children will be given a puppy and an espresso

[Food Lady]

Here's an idea that I think would be hard to argue with. Most restrooms in stores, restaurants etc., have signs to the effect of "Employees Must Wash Hands Before Returning To Work."
Our local grocery store has that sign, but someone crossed out "employees" and put "everyone". :D

[Jack T. Chance]

The comic shop I used to go to in the '80s and early '90s used to cut out large images of menacing characters, tape them on the wall somewhere, and then add a word bubble with an appropriate anti-shoplifting message. For example, an image of The Punisher saying "Shoplifters will be punished!" :cool:

But of course, what I most want in my current store, sitting on my desk, is this old gem:

http://solo3.abac.com/scanman/compdept.jpg

:devil:

[XCashier]

The comic shop I used to go to in the '80s and early '90s used to cut out large images of menacing characters, tape them on the wall somewhere, and then add a word bubble with an appropriate anti-shoplifting message. For example, an image of The Punisher saying "Shoplifters will be punished!" :cool:
I got a great Judge Dredd poster from a comic shop. It showed the Judge shoving a cigarette down some schnook's throat and the caption, "Attention citizen! No smoking in this area!" That one hung in my house for a long time. :lol:

[Jack T. Chance]

I got a great Judge Dredd poster from a comic shop. It showed the Judge shoving a cigarette down some schnook's throat and the caption, "Attention citizen! No smoking in this area!" That one hung in my house for a long time. :lol:That's AWESOME! I might have to try to find a copy of that poster sometime! :cool: