Stupiest Question of the Year

[Dark Psion]

I started this topic about two crashes ago, tracking the stupidest questions for each month to see exactly what was the Stupidest Question of 2006.

I had not restarted it since I had not gotten any really stupid questions........till today.

Today, July 21st, a day that was 106 degrees.

A lady called to ask if we had any Christmas lights in stock.

:wtf:

[toolbert]

didn't you know, christmas is supposedly in july now

[Becks]

I think there are Christmas lights somewhere...oh, yeah, they're located in the section called "COME BACK IN 4 MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!"

[One-Fang]

Might have been planning a mid-summer Christmas. Do you do that over there? We do get a lot of mid-winter Christmas specials, deals, parties, restaurant themed nights, etc. But then, Christmas is traditionally seen as 'cold', and since it's mid-summer here in December, maybe we just try and get some of that 'white Christmas' feeling y'all get naturally.

[Greenday]

We had St. Patricks Day in July at the racetrack...At least it brought in more customers.

Um, one of my co-workers got asked the other day if the beer in the ice was cold. When he was informed it was indeed cold, he asked if he could have one of the beers from her stock, that was warm. He didn't want a cold beer. Ew...

Some guy was ranting to me the other day about some stupid crap. He stopped mid-rant and said, "You don't really give a f***, do you?" I immediately replied, "Nope." You know you've been working too much retail when you can answer that question honestly.

[laughingfuzzball]

Today a customer requested some cut of meat (I forget what) that we carry both bone-in and boneless. She checked the price and asked for bone-in. As I was about to grab her one sge asks me if the bone in has a bone in it. After I tell her it, in fact, does have a bone, she decides to go with the boneless.

[SteverinoNY]

You haven't heard a stupid question until a person asks you "Is a quarter considered cash? Because I just shoved one in this slot marked "cash"." (at the self checkout) Now mind you, that slot marked cash is just like the bill acceptor on a vending machine. Surely we have seen thousands of those and would never assume to shove a quarter in there. That is what the vertical slot called "coins" is for. People some days....trying to kill us all with stupidity.

[jedifarfy]

Nothing like working in cafe:

"So, what's an iced coffee?"

"What's the difference between hot and cold drinks?"

Yes, I get them, and many others, every day. :cry:

JF

[Comp_geek]

"Can you teach me how to use a keyboard?"

...need I say more...

[Worker-Intellectual]

Someone asked me if we had any of the salt used to melts snow a couple weeks ago.

Ok, I know it's Canada, but no snow = no salt

The sad thing was I think it was around June 21, the EXACT MIDDLE OF SUMMER!

Another contender for me is "(long story about bank locked in all his money, his wife or neighbor or neighbor's wife (yeah, I tuned him out) died, credit cards are bad because they put you in debt like his lazy son, the world needs more religion)... so can I take some plants and pay you back double on Monday?"

Or...
Me: "Is there a PO number?"
Moron: "Yeah. Bob."
Me: *stares at my keyboard looking for the letter B... or any letter to be exact.*

[RecoveringKinkoid]

It would have to be a toss up:

"Could I get a copy of this? I need to fax it, but I want a copy to keep myself."

And

(picture me sitting in a completely dark control room at a TV station. The lights are out. The screens are out. All the little blinking lights are out. It's utterly silent. I'm sitting in the dark with the phone in my lap, so I can find it when my boss calls back to tell us what to do. It rings.

(little old lady's voice) "Do ya'll know you're off the air?"

:rolleyes:

[Broomjockey]

I love when people ask me "What time does the 8:00 pirates start?" I like to go :confused: :headscratch: :shrug: "8:00?" :rolleyes:

[Twotall]

So far, I have to go with either

1. A fellow helpdesker asks a customer to follw the wire from her TV to her wall outlet, and is asked "how do I do that?"

2. "I'm looking for a brochure that was published by [another company, who still exists and operates fully] in 1994, do you have any in stock? You were mentioned on the back page".

3. While troubleshooting a cable TV customer who had not gotten any signals to his TV for three months: "Is the SCART cable supposed to be hanging loose?" (FYI, the SCART is the cable that connects the TV to the cable decoder)

[Pagan]

The sad thing was I think it was around June 21, the EXACT MIDDLE OF SUMMER!

Actually, that's the beginning of summer. :p

One of my favorites from when I was incarcirated....uh, working at the Victoria's Secret Call Center in Rio Rathole....

"What color is black?" :wtf:

[Sir Spaniard the 12th]

I had something similar happen to me about 3 days ago... but I was the customer, and someone else was the employee. I was walking through the newsagent of our local shopping complex, looking for a book to buy, when I noticed the staff member there wearing a santa hat and a vest with 'season's greetings on it.

I'm not sure who was more confused, me or her....

[chainedbarista]

'do you sell coffee here?'

me: '...'

[Kiwi]

I get "are you the artist" time and time again

yes at 22.... im a MASTER at all of theres hundreds of styles AND...

selling them for under 100 a piece...

idiot

[One-Fang]

As is usual, I think a lot of these so-called 'stupid questions' can be put down to simply not knowing how things work. Simple ignorance rather than outright stupidity. There's a vast difference between not knowing how a fax works and asking "what colour is black".

My stupidest question? After being advised to hold in the power button on his computer for 8-10 seconds to 'kill' it, "What do you mean 'power button'?"

[Jester]

This seems like a perfect spot for more Stupid Tourist Questions I Or My Friends Have Heard:

"How long is the four hour tour?"

"What time does the 11:00 drag show start?"

And while the following is not a stupid tourist question, it may be one of the funniest/stupidest questions I have ever heard tale of, related to me by my buddy Greg. Greg was at a book store, and a guy walked up to the help desk with a book in his hand. The following conversation ensued between the stupid customer and the employee working there.

SC: Do you have this in the can?
EMP: Um...excuse me? :confused:
SC: This book....do you have it in the can?
EMP: Sir, I am sorry, I really have no idea what you mean.
SC: I just want to know if you have this book [waves book] in the can?
EMP: Sir, this is a bookstore. We have nothing in a can.
SC: But it says right here on the back, 11.99 U.S., 7.99 CAN!

Greg still has not stopped laughing. Nor have I.

[HawaiianShirts]

From my days doing housekeeping in Yellowstone National Park:

"Where do you get the water for all these geysers?"
"Are the buffalo friendly?"
"Where do I go to get my hunting permit?"
"Where do you put all the animals in the winter?"
"There's no TV in the hotels! Don't you people even get basic cable out here?"
"Do you turn off Old Faithful at night?"
"Do these hot pools get cold in the winter?"
"Has that waterfall (Lower Falls) ever frozen?"
And my personal favorite: "When are they going to introduce gorillas back into the park?"

(By the way... For anyone who is wondering, the answer is no, Old Faithful is not less faithful now than it used to be. For as long as humans have been watching it, it has erupted fairly consistently at intervals of between approximately 70 minutes to 120 minutes. It has never been every hour on the hour.)

[Format C]

I started this topic about two crashes ago, tracking the stupidest questions for each month to see exactly what was the Stupidest Question of 2006.

I had not restarted it since I had not gotten any really stupid questions........till today.

Today, July 21st, a day that was 106 degrees.

A lady called to ask if we had any Christmas lights in stock.

:wtf:
Ugh. My choir director passed out our Christmas music on 19 July. We are recording a Christmas album in October.

[blas]

"I don't have my ID on me, will you sell me ciggs anyway?"

[Plaidman]

I Don't often get stupid questions, the only two I gotten was:

"If I'm honest about being underage, will you sell me beer?"

and my personal favorite that was just recent, and keep in mind that while yes, I do work at a convience store, we still follow American and Oregon laws:

"Do you sell pot man...?"
"Um. no?"
"Man, this town sucks ass!!!"

I Also live in Portland. Just go knock on a random house and you'll eventully find someone who does sell it.

SC: But it says right here on the back, 11.99 U.S., 7.99 CAN! <--- LOL LOL!!!

[Broomjockey]

Ugh. My choir director passed out our Christmas music on 19 July. We are recording a Christmas album in October.

That kind of timing is fairly standard for music groups, especially if you're recording. Time for everyone to practice on their own, some light practicing in the group, then around the start of September or so, hard drilling with lots of nitpicking to make everything as good as it can be.

[real people person]

here's a good one: this happened last week during the heat wave

a guy walked in and said " i see from your name that you are a seasonal store"
me: yep
guy " so , do you sell snow shovels?"


after he left i thought that i should have sold him the one we had in the back for like $1000. you know, supply and demand.

k:devil:

[DistantStar]

I'm filling in at the fitting room, and am sitting there after a guy tries on some pants or something.

Idiot Questioner: "Would it be all right if I take this up front to pay for it?"

Me: *blink* "Um, sir, you have to. I don't have a register here."

I still don't see how a phone looks like a register to these people.

And I posted it before, but my boyfriend's favorite one I got: "Do you sell food?" This at Wally World. How could you miss the entire GROCERY STORE we have in here, huh???

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Oh, geeze, I remembered two more from Kinko's:

SC: (holding a sharpie in each hand, one red, one black.) How much is this? (holds up the black.)

Me: (I take it and look at the very obvious price tag.) 2.99.

SC: Do you have them in red?

Me: Yes.

SC: Where would those be?

Me: Try your left hand.



And here's a gem:

SC: What color could you make this for me?

Me: Any color you like, sir.

SC: And what color would that be?

Me: Don't know, sir.

SC: Why don't you know?

SC: Because you haven't told me yet.

[SandwichMaven]

I used to be a receptionist at a doctor's office and this one kind of stumped me:

*phone rings*
Me: "So-And-So Pediatrics. This is SandwichMaven. How can I help you?"
SC: "Is this the dentist's office?"
Me: :confused:

[Dark Psion]

Had another stupid question, but this one came from a boss.

They have some big shots from True Value coming in on Monday, so we were told to get everything cleaned up. I spent all afternoon sweeping one isle after another and as I am sweeping, Boss#2 (The Sister) asks if I was told that we needed to sweep and mop the floor.

:rolleyes:

I just held up the broom and pointed. at it.

[ShoresKoC]

Oh.. my favorite was from when I was a receptionist in a salon, now keep in mind, I live in Virginia. Just in case anyone doesnt know, its on the east coast of the usa. As in, the only thing east of Virginia is WATER.

Woman: Excuse me, how do I get on the interstate?

me: 2 miles up the road are enterances to 64 East and 64 West

Woman: East..... and West?

Me: yes

Woman: ok.... Do I go East or West to get to West Virginia?

Me:..... West

Woman: Whew, thanks! I wouldnt have wanted to end up in California!

Me: holy.....

And no.... this was not a tourist... this was a goold ole "i live 10 miles down the road" American.

[Moirae]

I used to work in the mall in my early 20's when I was in University. I worked in the information booth.

Please keep in mind that this is NOT a knock on Americans, only a laugh at the morons that came in that day.

Now, mind you, it was the middle of July and four Americans walked up to me. All cool, by my way of thinking. We often get Americans coming through for vacation (Canada is a cheap vacation spot due to the difference between the Canadian and American dollar) during the summer.

Until one of them opened his mouth.

In summer, it can reach up to 120 degrees Fehr. Usually it's only around 80 degrees fehrenheight, but it can get alot hotter than that. This was one of those days. It was over 100 degrees that day, and everyone is cooking in their own skin. The mall is PACKED because most people in my area don't bother to get an AC when you'll probably only need it for one month a year.

But no, this American says in all honesty while he's wearing shorts, runners, and a muscle shirt "Where's all the snow? We want to go skiing and are headed out to Banff."

I couldn't help it. I just started laughing, it was so funny. Now, if you've never been to Banff, it's one of our premier ski towns. Expensive, and great hills.

During the winter. During the summer in over 100 degree heat, you won't find a bit of snow off the caps of the Rocky Mountains. It's all melted.

So I try, as nicely as possible, to explain to him that there is no snow during the summer. Banff is pretty but what they'll find is kanoing, rafting, horseback riding, etc, during the summer.

And then the dip comes back to me later before he leaves and asks if we "Barter like they do in Mexico."

Seriously, even his friends were on him about that one. I politely told him to think of Canada as being just like the US but our money is worth less, and our army is alot smaller.

Frightening thing is, that's not the only time something like that has happened. I've been asked if we wear seal skin coats, drives dog sleds to work, and live in igloos. I've also had people express surprise at not seeing snow 10 miles past the American border.

I realize there's no need for you to know that much about Canada, but until I met my husband (he's from Louisiana) I honestly wondered about the education down there.

[Broomjockey]

My favourite for the longest time was Rick Mercer's talking to Americans segment on This Hour has 22 Minutes.
The best segment had to be when he was getting people to congratulate Canada on getting our 4th state or something like that, and finally right after a lady with a kid gives her congratulations, her kid pipes up, "Wait! Canada has provinces!"
Just so no Americans think I'm puttin' ya down, I just wanna say one of the smartest people I ever met was a girl from the states who transferred to my school, and I know lots of people with dual-citizenship. So there :p :D

[Moirae]

:) I know many more Americans than I used to and it's not that bad. I think my early years just showed I encountered some stupid people, that's all. I just thought it wouldn't take much brains to realize that 100 degree whether would equal no snow.

[Becks]

A story from my mommy...not a customer, but a coworker, asked in all seriousness...

What religion is the Pope the head of?

[RobertM]

I work on a preserved railway here in the UK and these are some of the questions I have been asked.

A lady asked me if there was another passenger train after the last one of the day!!!!

Why don't you run steam on diesel service weekends?

What is the price of the £10.50 rover ticket?

Are there any services today? This was when a train was in the station and people were getting on and off.

It never ceases to amaze me how many people leave their brain at home!!!

Robert

[we'vegotawinner]

of COURSE christmas is in july. haven't you seen those mattress store commercials?

[Jester]

Sometimes you can answer a somewhat stupid question without ever saying a word.

Now, my friends and my coworkers (once I have worked somewhere long enough) all know that me and mornings don't get along. I figure I won't bother mornings if they don't bother me. Basically, I am NOT the guy you want to schedule for the breakfast shift. And once my coworker start seeing me during even late mornings, for whatever reason, they start to catch on.

Now, the place I work currently, they have caught on to this. Jester=not a morning person. So, we were getting in our new computer system, and my supervisor (a nice guy) approaches me and says, "Jester, for the computer training, do you want the 9 am or the 1 pm session?" I don't say a word, don't do a thing, just LOOK at him. Him: [short pause] "Right. 1 o'clock." I love being me! :D

Another one I love, dearly, is one I deal with repeatedly. Again, not SC's, just somewhat clueless people, who either call or walk in, and the following conversation, or a variant there, then ensues:

THEM: "What are your hours?"
ME: "We open at 7 am for breakfast and close at 11 pm every day."
THEM: "So what time are you closing tonight?"
ME: "Um....11 pm."
THEM: "And what are your hours on Sunday?"
ME: "Those are our hours every single day."
THEM: "Oh, okay."

:banghead:

And finally, a conversation I have almost every day that I work...

THEM: "So, how long have you lived here?"
ME: "I came for a month, it's been several years."
THEM: "So...do you like it?"

[Canarr]

One I overheard while standing in line at McDonald's a few years ago (note: McDonald's menus come in "Regular" and "Maxi" here in Germany).

Was standing behind two girls in their mid-teens, when one of them turned to the other and said, in all seriousness:

"What means large again, Mini or Maxi?"

She looked at me with large doe eyes when I broke out laughing. :lol:

[RecoveringKinkoid]

"mini or maxi?" :eek:

1. When I worked for the zoo (yeah, I worked there, too. Toldja, I'm kind of old. Ish.) I heard some doozies. Had an adult woman asking after the baby polar bears, which were actually Arctic Foxes in a clearly marked enclosure.

2.The teenage girl who upon looking at a rhino enclosure, and being unable to indentify the rhino inside, starting looking for the board that told about the animal. I'm glad she was at least trying to learn something, but was further dismayed when she pronounced the word as "uhhhhh.....reeno, it says. Reeno."
(I heard this whole conversation while stringing lights from a cherry picker overhead. The stuff you hear. )

3. One pet peeve I had at Kinko's was when students would bring in a paper and ask to have it "binded." As in "I'd like to have this binded." Easily half of them would do this. I'm talking college students. One guy actually said "I'd like this paper bounded." I took it, smiled, and just casually asked, "No problem. English paper?" The quip soared cleanly over his head and splattered dead on the floor in a broken heap. Oh, well.

[Canadian In Maine]

I am a cashier in a grocery store and one question I get all the time while standing at my station is: Can I pay for this here?

Um, where else would you pay except at a cash register??? :confused:

Best one yet: Which beach is closer to the ocean? :roll:

[Jester]

One of my favorites down here in this SMALL ISLAND tourist town:

"Which way is the water?"

Also, as a waiter in a restaurant (any of the ones I have worked in), have never tired of "Do we pay you?" Damn well better pay me. If you pay one of the other servers, they will be happy, but my management and I will be less thrilled.

[HawaiianShirts]

This one's for RecoveringKinkoid with the zoo experience (and anyone else who has spent more than five minutes outside a city):

Again from my time in Yellowstone. I was driving with some friends/co-workers one afternoon after work to another part of the park to play tourist for a few hours. Traffic had slowed to a near standstill in one place because there was a large bull elk beating up a tree next to the road. As we passed it, I heard this conversation from the car in front of me (windows were all down 'cause it was a nice day).

Kid: What is that, Dad?
Dad: That's a moose, son.
Kid: How can you tell?
Dad: Well, you know it's a moose because it has velvet on its antlers.
Kid: Oh. I thought it was a deer.

Nope. Wrong animal. Wrong way to identify an animal. Kid was closer to the right answer.

[protege]

This gem was uttered by one of the interns at work:

"Does the printer have to be plugged in and on in order to work?











...at this point you should consider that the guy had a 4.0 GPA and was in college.

:beam: me up Scotty, no intelligent life down here...

[walking with scissors]

Me: "My office is on the fourth floor."

Him: "What floor is that on?"

:(

[Hempress]

I used to work at an amusement park. We had a rollercoaster that went forwards through the entire track, stopped at the top of the hill, and then went through it backwards. Think about that for a second.

SC: This line is taking forever. Why won't you put a second train on the track?
Me: :confused: :roll: Because people would die.

[Mixed Bag]

Best one yet: Which beach is closer to the ocean? :roll:

Tell people they're tide. :wave::cry::doh:

[Imogene]

Um, one of my co-workers got asked the other day if the beer in the ice was cold. When he was informed it was indeed cold, he asked if he could have one of the beers from her stock, that was warm. He didn't want a cold beer. Ew...


Blegh! Cold drink...

I quite enjoy a nice room temperature soda more often than not.

I only drink cold sodas when they come out of the school vending machine (There are two soda machines at school, but one of them is more apt to get your soda stuck than to get your soda...)

Oh, wait... beer?

I don't drink often, but, I'd bet the reasoning behind not wanting a beer with ice is similar to my reasons for not wanting a soda with ice: you never get the watered down taste, you get a bit more soda, and I read somewhere that the germ count in restaurant ice is usually higher than the germ count in their toilets... I might have to go looking for that article...

[AFpheonix]

I don't drink often, but, I'd bet the reasoning behind not wanting a beer with ice is similar to my reasons for not wanting a soda with ice: you never get the watered down taste, you get a bit more soda, and I read somewhere that the germ count in restaurant ice is usually higher than the germ count in their toilets... I might have to go looking for that article...

:confused:
The ice wasn't IN the beer, the beer cans were submerged in totes full of ice.

Ugh...warm beer...that's just nasty.

[Jester]

My little sister used to have this bad habit (she may still have it, for all I know): at night, she would be sipping on a Diet Coke, and would go to sleep with it out. And in the morning, she would drink it. A warm...flat...stale...diet coke.

The thought of which still makes me run screaming from the room in abject terror. (Of course, the taste of fresh cold bubbly diet coke does that to me anyway...but still...)

[April]

Me, standing at the service desk about 10 feet from the entrance and exit doors. Customer walks up to me, totally frazzled and says "How in the world do I get out of this store?"

[Pagan]

Me: "So-And-So Pediatrics. This is SandwichMaven. How can I help you?"
SC: "Is this the dentist's office?"
Me: :confused:

I used to get a variation of this when I worked in the Biology Dept at NMSU:

Me: Biology Dept, how can I help you?
Clueless Wonder: Is this the English Dept? :headscratch:

[we'vegotawinner]

sc: "are you open?"
me: thinking, "no i'm standing at an empty lane with my light on because i like to screw with people like yourself."

[AFpheonix]

I started this topic about two crashes ago, tracking the stupidest questions for each month to see exactly what was the Stupidest Question of 2006.

I had not restarted it since I had not gotten any really stupid questions........till today.

Today, July 21st, a day that was 106 degrees.

A lady called to ask if we had any Christmas lights in stock.

:wtf:

I used christmas lights to decorate for my wedding last August. There was quite a few boxes left over from the Christmas before in the backroom, though.

[Confuzed-Monkey]

Best one yet: Which beach is closer to the ocean? :roll:

Tell people they're tide. :wave::cry::doh:

Now thats funnys.

[WHShit]

I think I have had one to give yours a run for it's money.

I had someone come nto Books and ask me for a book. They said they did not remember what it was called, who the author was, what it was about or what the cover looked like, but they saw on "on the telly". Then they said "do you have it in stock"?

WTF?

Also had 2 more people that same week ask for books that they did not know the name of, author of, what it looked like or what it was about at all. All of these people actually were suprised that I could not help them! How can someone expect me to find the book they are looking for with that information?:roll:

[Mixed Bag]

March confidently over three rows away, bend your knees, scan the shelf at your waist-level for several seconds, slide a nonselling £15-20 tome out and slap it into their hands. :devil: