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25 lessons I have learned from working six months at a pharmacy.

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  • 25 lessons I have learned from working six months at a pharmacy.

    25: Some customers know what "fugly" means.

    24: You cannot hide from customers in the restroom, and bathroom stalls have locks on them for a reason.

    23: It takes less than two minutes for a pharmacist to bag a finished prescription for a patient, unless the patient tells someone in the pharmacy to "go fuck yourself" in which case bagging a prescription can take well over two hours.

    22: There is a seven year old on youtube who can solve the Rubik's Cube in 18 seconds with his eyes closed, but I could starve to death in the time it takes a senior citizen to sign their name on an electronic signature device.

    21: Whoever coined the phrase "Southern Hospitality" was probably being sarcastic.

    20: You CAN slap the customers without getting fired.

    19: A case of Red Bull is NOT a challenge.

    18: "I am never coming here again" is stupid people code for "See you next week".

    17: Not so sure about #20.

    16: Allergy medicine + sleeping pills + cough syrup = BAD idea, but it makes the work day go by so much faster.

    15: You cannot get "messed up" on Robitussin DM, but if you are going to try, it is best to clock out first.

    14: When a customer is picking up his Viagra prescription, it is considered inappropriate to say "Give it to her good".

    13: Do not refer to accidentally discarded tablets as "floor candy".

    12: When paying for their medication, customers do not want to play "three card monty double or nothing".

    11: An 18 year old with a history of mental illness can buy a case of shotgun shells without resistance, but if a sickly 90 year old woman who can barely stand wants to buy flu medicine with pseudoephedrine, she has better have a state or federal issued id, and some spare time.

    10: If the customers last name is "Hussein", let it the fuck go.

    9: When the pharmacy is very busy and shorthanded, the customers somehow expect you to appologise for being the one who DIDN'T call in sick.

    8: The heavy duty pain killers locked up in the safe are refered to as "C2" not "happy pills".

    7: KY is not"sex jelly", and Preperation-H does not cure "ass rot".

    6: Try to limit yourself to three "that's what she said" jokes a day.

    5: "Count the asian customers" is a game that should be avoided at all costs, or at the very least, NOT played over the stores loudspeakers.

    4: This is NOT Sparta.

    3: Do not ask the pharmacist for everythings "street value", and do not refer to drugs by their "street names".

    2: "The pharmacy closes at 9pm sharp" is somehow interpreted as "Do not come one minute before 8:55".

    1: Taking a bottle of scotch to your lips and turning it upside down will not kill the brain cells that retain the information that "Fleets Pedia-Lax Baby Enema" exists, but Jesus Christ it's worth a shot.

    Sorry about #1, but it is a real OVER THE COUNTER item that any parent in the United States can buy and use at their own discretion, and it has cost me many sleepless nights.
    "Sorry, the restaurant is closed in honor of customer appreciation day."

  • #2
    Hey, if you've ever had a baby not have a bowel movement for three days who now has a distended tummy and is howling like a banshee, when the doc says pump their little tush full of a saline laxative, you'll try anything to get some sleep.

    Just be sure you have a *large* disposable basin handy to catch the resulting clumpy goo. That stuff works fast!
    Last edited by EvilEmpryss; 12-18-2009, 06:00 AM.
    Sorry, my cow died so I don't need your bull

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    • #3
      IMHO, some of this works better in the "Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Work Thread."
      The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

      Now queen of USSR-Land...

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      • #4
        #7 seems more or less accurate to me.. if not terribly PC.
        I will never go to school!

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        • #5
          Quoth EvilEmpryss View Post
          Hey, if you've ever had a baby not have a bowel movement for three days who now has a distended tummy and is howling like a banshee, when the doc says pump their little tush full of a saline laxative, you'll try anything to get some sleep.

          Just be sure you have a *large* disposable basin handy to catch the resulting clumpy goo. That stuff works fast!
          That is really a visual I could have done without. Thank you.
          If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.
          --Woodrow Willson

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          • #6
            Quoth Grrrrrrr View Post
            15: You cannot get "messed up" on Robitussin DM, but if you are going to try, it is best to clock out first.
            18: The heavy duty pain killers locked up in the safe are refered to as "C2" not "happy pills"..
            15: You can. Robitussin Cough medicene. It takes about 4 bottles of it though before you feel something.

            18: After heart surgery, mom refered to her pain killers as happy pills. After hearing it for so long, I just refer it to as I cannot prononce the name of mine.
            Military Spouse Support.
            http://www.customerssuck.com/board/group.php?groupid=45
            Plaidman's Minions: Telecom_Goddess: Dungeon Minion

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            • #7
              16: Allergy medicine + sleeping pills + cough syrup = BAD idea, but it makes the work day go by so much faster.

              15: You cannot get "messed up" on Robitussin DM, but if you are going to try, it is best to clock out first.
              So very very true
              "Getting to the top is optional. Getting down is mandatory." _Ed Viesturs
              "Love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking, and don't settle" Steve Jobs

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              • #8
                Quoth Plaidman View Post
                18: After heart surgery, mom refered to her pain killers as happy pills. After hearing it for so long, I just refer it to as I cannot prononce the name of mine.
                My family members have lots of issues, take lots of meds. Happy pills are generally the ones for psych problems. All others are referred to simply as "drugs". This causes problems when little ones tell their teachers that Mommy had to get more drugs from her dealer.

                What they should be saying is that Mommy is getting medication refills from her doctor.
                Sorry, my cow died so I don't need your bull

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                • #9
                  26: When you always ask the question 'would you like to wait for your script or come back and collect it?' and the customer replies 'i'll wait for it but i'm just gonna pop into the supermarket to do my shopping' you start to wonder if YOU don't understand the meaning of the phrase 'WAIT for your script'.

                  27: Asking the customer if their personal information written on the script by the doctor is correct and they says "Yes" can sometimes mean "no it's not" But you don't know this till you are calling out the name 'SMITH SCRIPT FOR SMITH' and the customer looks at you funny then they realise it's them but they changed their name last week, two years ago, 'oh thats my married name i divorced the idiot years ago but never got around to changing my name till last week he was such a wanker and a druggie, no good father........' as her child is standing next to her

                  28: Women younger then you think they can get away with calling you 'love' or 'darl' or 'sweetie' then get offended when you point to your name badge and say 'the name's Just Ace'

                  29: People come in asking about a particular product, you spend 15 minutes discussing the item and finding out if it will interact with any prescription medication they are on then they say 'thanks, i'll go get it from the supermarket now it's $2 cheaper there!' unfortunately we can't say 'not a problem that will be $20 for the consult'

                  30: You can ask a customer as many questions as you like and get no answers but as soon as that man with the white coat comes down from that dispensary they open up like a cheap hooker!!

                  31: People think that only men are Pharmacists.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Plaidman View Post
                    15: You can. Robitussin Cough medicene. It takes about 4 bottles of it though before you feel something.

                    18: After heart surgery, mom refered to her pain killers as happy pills. After hearing it for so long, I just refer it to as I cannot prononce the name of mine.
                    While it does contain 2mg/mL DXM, it also contains guaifenesin, an expectorant, so the would-be robotripper will not retain the syrup long enough to experience significant psychoactive effects.

                    But you'll feel something, all right, and I don't just mean the toilet rim.

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                    • #11
                      Hee, Ass Rot. Those 2 little words made my morning.

                      Prep H is also useful for getting rid of those bags under your eyes. Really; reduces the puffiness.
                      "If anyone wants this old box containing the broken bits of my former faith in humanity, I'll take your best offer now. You may be able to salvage a few of em' for parts..... " - Quote by Argabarga

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                      • #12
                        29: People come in asking about a particular product, you spend 15 minutes discussing the item and finding out if it will interact with any prescription medication they are on then they say 'thanks, i'll go get it from the supermarket now it's $2 cheaper there!' unfortunately we can't say 'not a problem that will be $20 for the consult'
                        Personally, if that happened to me, i'd let it go. The reason being is that i just spent 15 minutes convincing the guy to go bug the supermarket guys, and not me. Good investment (sorry supermarket guys, lol)

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                        • #13
                          Quoth EvilEmpryss View Post
                          Hey, if you've ever had a baby not have a bowel movement for three days who now has a distended tummy and is howling like a banshee, when the doc says pump their little tush full of a saline laxative, you'll try anything to get some sleep.

                          Just be sure you have a *large* disposable basin handy to catch the resulting clumpy goo. That stuff works fast!
                          There's a visual I could live without.

                          But if it that intel does happen to come in handy when my baby's born, Thank You.
                          D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.
                          Quoth = Crossbow "EvilHomer, Irv, Gravekeeper, and Seraph: the Four Horsemen of the Dumbpocalypse."

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                          • #14
                            My little guy takes medication at night. Me and him both think it's the height of hilarity to call it "crack".

                            So, at night when I have to call him downstairs to take it I yell up the stairs "Hey Crackhead! time for your crack!" The little guy and I will then laugh like it's the funniest thing ever. Mr. Mis said I will be the one to explain it to the nice policemen who show up when the little guys' teacher calls them because she overheard the little guy talking about taking crack.
                            Do not annoy the woman with the flamethrower!

                            If you don't like it, I believe you can go to hell! ~Trinity from The Matrix

                            Yes, MadMike does live under my couch.

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Grrrrrrr View Post
                              1: Taking a bottle of scotch to your lips and turning it upside down will not kill the brain cells that retain the information that "Fleets Pedia-Lax Baby Enema" exists, but Jesus Christ it's worth a shot.

                              Sorry about #1, but it is a real OVER THE COUNTER item that any parent in the United States can buy and use at their own discretion, and it has cost me many sleepless nights.
                              I know a woman who was potty trained at 8 months. This was done with the extensive use of enemas. Fortunately, her therapy is going well.
                              "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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