I'm sure most of you know how I feel about this order. I got it outside of work today. I was taking a walk in a neighborhood I really like--that I make the effort to drive to, mind you--when I rounded a corner on my right. I happened to glance at a house across the street where a man and 2 women were standing, putting up pumpkins and such. I just barely glanced and went on. As soon as I get my back to them, I hear it: "Smile!" It was unmistakable. I didn't even have any interaction with them; I was totally minding my own business. If I were a 200-lb guy, I guarantee you he wouldn't have ordered me to do anything at all.
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Maybe not a conscious power game, but I can say I've never been told to smile by any stranger that wasn't male (usually older than me, too), and I never heard any of my male coworkers told to smile by the same customers who would tell me to do so. I don't tend to get too worked about it but I do find it a bit condescending. Maybe I don't want to smile. Maybe I'm tired. Maybe my goldfish just died. You don't know. And if I'm just walking past you and not interacting with you in any way, why do you feel the need to tell me what my expression should be?I don't go in for ancient wisdom
I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"
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Quoth Aethian View PostOr maybe he just wanted to see a pretty woman smile? How is that a power game? Sometimes just a little smile can brighten the smilers day...
Well, then he should do or say something worthy of a smile, if that's what he wants. You dont' walk up to a total ass stranger who's minding her own business and try to get her to perform like a trained fucking dog.
That a total ass stranger "wants to see her smile" does not create one iota of obligation in her. She doesn't owe him anything. He doesn't know what kind of day she's having, but yet, she has to put on a mask of some sort to please him?
He has the very real option of going up to someone he knows and saying "You know, I could use a smile from a friend right now." if he needs a pick me up.
Maybe it's not a power game. Maybe he's just clueless because he's seen other men do it and it seems harmless to him. However, when you consider that that request, when it goes ignored, is all too often followed up with "Hey, why can't you be nice?" or "You're not very friendly" or "Well, fuck you, then, bitch!", you can probably see why a lot of women get put pretty much immediately on the defensive when they hear some stranger demand this of them.
I have NEVER been told this by a woman. And I challenge anyone to find a man who's had another man say it to them.Last edited by RecoveringKinkoid; 10-27-2011, 10:14 PM.
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Ophelia Benson has a post on her blog on this topic...actually, more than one...Last edited by BookstoreEscapee; 10-27-2011, 10:37 PM.I don't go in for ancient wisdom
I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"
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Quoth BookstoreEscapee View PostOphelia Benson has a post on her blog on this topic...actually, more than one..."Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably
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I have been told to smile by a girl before! She was an extremely drunk teenager, I was heavily pregnant and wanted to go to bed but was attending my B-I-L's birthday party because I'd promised that I would. I grinned at her later though, when I was cleaning up and bandaging the foot she'd sliced open (wearing gloves of course). For some reason, she didn't appreciate the smile that she'd earlier asked for...Don't tempt pixies, it never ends well.
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Quoth Aethian View PostOr maybe he just wanted to see a pretty woman smile? How is that a power game? Sometimes just a little smile can brighten the smilers day...The report button - not just for decoration
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Quoth Aethian View PostOr maybe he just wanted to see a pretty woman smile? How is that a power game? Sometimes just a little smile can brighten the smilers day..."Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT'S MORPHING TIME!"
- Gilgamesh, Final Fantasy V
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Quoth RecoveringKinkoid View PostWell, then he should do or say something worthy of a smile, if that's what he wants. You dont' walk up to a total ass stranger who's minding her own business and try to get her to perform like a trained fucking dog.Quoth Kogarashi View PostBest way to get one of those, then, is to smile first."Things that fail to kill me make me level up." ~ NateWantsToBattle, Training Hard (Counting Stars parody)
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I hate this. What is it with people who tell total strangers to smile? Am I the only one who thinks it's creepy and weird when someone walks around with a huge smile on their face?*
*I mean when they are simply walking down the street, getting on a bus, walking through a store---not interacting with anyone, not listening to music or a phone conversation...just walking along smiling. I dunno, seems odd to me.When you start at zero, everything's progress.
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Quoth BookstoreEscapee View PostOphelia Benson has a post on her blog on this topic...actually, more than one...I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
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Quoth MoonCat View PostI hate this. What is it with people who tell total strangers to smile? Am I the only one who thinks it's creepy and weird when someone walks around with a huge smile on their face?* *I mean when they are simply walking down the street, getting on a bus, walking through a store---not interacting with anyone, not listening to music or a phone conversation...just walking along smiling. I dunno, seems odd to me."Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably
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