Things I am not allowed to do at work.

[lobo94]

Instigate revolution.

[fireheart]

I am not allowed to make the following out of clay:

-Breasts.
-Bra
-clay breasts wrapped in a bra.
-Eyeballs.
-anything phallic in nature.

[Gizmo]

Be introduced to the work experience student. Do I really want him scarred and scared for life?

[Solacelawlz]

- Put my supervisor's cosplay pics on everyone's desktop
- Mangle "Special C" when he won't stfu and tell's horrible wanna be jokes
- Prank call the IT department
- Sell my art
- Barrel roll into cubical walls
- Turn our server room into a dance hall
- Have an open bar
- Dance on open bar
- Drown my phone
- Booby trap the aisle with a phone cord
- Setup "fireman" poles
- Dance on "fireman" poles
- Build the whitehouse out of T.O. reports
- Play frisbee with cd-roms
- Put on my tough mudder attire and climb the building
- Jump off building into a pile of gold coins (I call this "screwdge mcduckin' it!")
- Play jinga with my work pc's and servers
- Have my supervisor's dance off to "I'm Sexy and I know It"

[BeeMused]

I'm not allowed to reach into a bulk-pack and throw cock-rings at the warehouse manager,
even if he started it.
I'm not allowed to test new e-stim devices on the trainees,
even if they ganged up on me to try the same.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

No forgetting your work shirt in the backroom and strolling around the salesfloor during business hours in a t-shirt that says "Pimpin' Ain't Easy" on it.

This wasn't me. It was my co-worker. Almost. I debated reminding him to put his shirt on and ultimately decided against it.

Quoth fireheart

I am not allowed to make the following out of clay:


-anything phallic in nature.

This is for your own good. After it dried and was fired, it would become a blunt trauma weapon for anybody who happened to break into your home.

[Dilorenzo]

Oooh, ooh, I've got some good ones. I am currently:

-Not allowed to talk to people, at all or for any reason.
-Not allowed to socialize with any employee of this company for any reason, in our out of work
-Not allowed to make any decisions on my own (in a job which cannot be done without a large degree of decision making)
-Not allowed to currently sit where I am sitting. I should actually be kept separate from all other employees.
-Not allowed to deal directly with customers (something I do every day)
-Not allowed to know any specifics about the products the company sells
-Not allowed any access to financial information of any sort

Yeah... company issued a manual on how temps in the company are to be treated. Needless to say every single rule is one I have broken, or been told to ignore.

I told em I wouldn't mind being kept separate, just throw some meat down the hole now and again.

[Gizmo]

Quoth Dilorenzo

Yeah... company issued a manual on how temps in the company are to be treated. Needless to say every single rule is one I have broken, or been told to ignore.

Wow. Thats a moron in management if I've ever seen one!

[scruff]

Quoth Geek King

Hee. I was in a near-future, high-tech RPG campaign set in the year 2040. The GM specifically mentioned Metallica's "Fuel" and "Enter Sandman" being used to sell Caddys.

:-) I was in a futuristic RPG ages ago, our party win condition involved sticking external speakers on our spaceship and buzzing planets, forcing them to listen to Metalica.
(we also had a holodeck in the basement, the GM had no issues with that, but did claim we didn't have enough memory to run Doom on the shipboard computer... As I say, it was some time ago...)

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Quoth Dilorenzo

Yeah... company issued a manual on how temps in the company are to be treated. Needless to say every single rule is one I have broken, or been told to ignore.

Sounds like your employer views Dilbert as an instruction manual, not a warning.

When they're done with the temps, they'll toss them out in the dumpster. But only because they're too big to flush down the toilet.