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  #951  
Old 03-15-2012, 02:48 AM
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lobo94 lobo94 is offline
Store Manager
 
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Instigate revolution.
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  #952  
Old 03-15-2012, 03:37 AM
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fireheart fireheart is offline
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I am not allowed to make the following out of clay:

-Breasts.
-Bra
-clay breasts wrapped in a bra.
-Eyeballs.
-anything phallic in nature.
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  #953  
Old 03-15-2012, 07:40 AM
Gizmo Gizmo is offline
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Location: South of UK
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Be introduced to the work experience student. Do I really want him scarred and scared for life?
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  #954  
Old 03-15-2012, 01:43 PM
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Solacelawlz Solacelawlz is offline
Joo gotcho popcone ready?!?!!!
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Amidst Country, Jawja
Posts: 120
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- Put my supervisor's cosplay pics on everyone's desktop
- Mangle "Special C" when he won't stfu and tell's horrible wanna be jokes
- Prank call the IT department
- Sell my art
- Barrel roll into cubical walls
- Turn our server room into a dance hall
- Have an open bar
- Dance on open bar
- Drown my phone
- Booby trap the aisle with a phone cord
- Setup "fireman" poles
- Dance on "fireman" poles
- Build the whitehouse out of T.O. reports
- Play frisbee with cd-roms
- Put on my tough mudder attire and climb the building
- Jump off building into a pile of gold coins (I call this "screwdge mcduckin' it!")
- Play jinga with my work pc's and servers
- Have my supervisor's dance off to "I'm Sexy and I know It"
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  #955  
Old 03-16-2012, 10:22 AM
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BeeMused BeeMused is offline
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Location: Germany
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I'm not allowed to reach into a bulk-pack and throw cock-rings at the warehouse manager,
even if he started it.
I'm not allowed to test new e-stim devices on the trainees,
even if they ganged up on me to try the same.
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  #956  
Old 03-21-2012, 12:38 AM
Irving Patrick Freleigh's Avatar
Irving Patrick Freleigh Irving Patrick Freleigh is offline
IS SERIOUS NOW
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: burning pink camo dumpster
Posts: 12,499
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No forgetting your work shirt in the backroom and strolling around the salesfloor during business hours in a t-shirt that says "Pimpin' Ain't Easy" on it.

This wasn't me. It was my co-worker. Almost. I debated reminding him to put his shirt on and ultimately decided against it.

Quote:
Quoth fireheart
I am not allowed to make the following out of clay:


-anything phallic in nature.
This is for your own good. After it dried and was fired, it would become a blunt trauma weapon for anybody who happened to break into your home.
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  #957  
Old 03-21-2012, 05:26 PM
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Dilorenzo Dilorenzo is offline
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Location: Mentor, OH
Posts: 291
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Oooh, ooh, I've got some good ones. I am currently:

-Not allowed to talk to people, at all or for any reason.
-Not allowed to socialize with any employee of this company for any reason, in our out of work
-Not allowed to make any decisions on my own (in a job which cannot be done without a large degree of decision making)
-Not allowed to currently sit where I am sitting. I should actually be kept separate from all other employees.
-Not allowed to deal directly with customers (something I do every day)
-Not allowed to know any specifics about the products the company sells
-Not allowed any access to financial information of any sort

Yeah... company issued a manual on how temps in the company are to be treated. Needless to say every single rule is one I have broken, or been told to ignore.

I told em I wouldn't mind being kept separate, just throw some meat down the hole now and again.
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  #958  
Old 03-21-2012, 05:32 PM
Gizmo Gizmo is offline
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Location: South of UK
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Quote:
Quoth Dilorenzo View Post
Yeah... company issued a manual on how temps in the company are to be treated. Needless to say every single rule is one I have broken, or been told to ignore.
Wow. Thats a moron in management if I've ever seen one!
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  #959  
Old 03-24-2012, 10:18 PM
scruff scruff is offline
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Quote:
Quoth Geek King View Post
Hee. I was in a near-future, high-tech RPG campaign set in the year 2040. The GM specifically mentioned Metallica's "Fuel" and "Enter Sandman" being used to sell Caddys.
:-) I was in a futuristic RPG ages ago, our party win condition involved sticking external speakers on our spaceship and buzzing planets, forcing them to listen to Metalica.
(we also had a holodeck in the basement, the GM had no issues with that, but did claim we didn't have enough memory to run Doom on the shipboard computer... As I say, it was some time ago...)
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  #960  
Old 03-24-2012, 10:28 PM
Irving Patrick Freleigh's Avatar
Irving Patrick Freleigh Irving Patrick Freleigh is offline
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Location: burning pink camo dumpster
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Quote:
Quoth Dilorenzo View Post

Yeah... company issued a manual on how temps in the company are to be treated. Needless to say every single rule is one I have broken, or been told to ignore.
Sounds like your employer views Dilbert as an instruction manual, not a warning.

When they're done with the temps, they'll toss them out in the dumpster. But only because they're too big to flush down the toilet.
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