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07-26-2012, 09:29 AM
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Chaos is neat.
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Charleston, WV
Posts: 324
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Coworker: *walks up with a Gabriel Iglecias DVD* "Man, whoever sponsors this guy should kill themselves."
Me: "Why? I kind of like him."
Coworker: "What? Dee de dee! That's all he says. Dee de dee!"
Me: "Are you sure you're not confusing him with Carlos Mencia?"
Coworker: "S***, man, they all look the same. Oh, wait. That sounded really racist."
------------
Next day, same coworker.
(After I dealt with a particularly irritating (and condescending) Middle Eastern customer who kept opening boxes.)
Me: "Not to be racist, but I swear any time I deal with a Middle Eastern woman, she has to open the box and check on the contents."
Coworker: "Maybe she's checking it for bombs."
Me: "Okay, that's way more racist than what I said."
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07-26-2012, 12:42 PM
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night stock bitch
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: East Tennessee
Posts: 1,232
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CW: I'm basically a girl with balls.
__________________
R.I.P. Plaidman
Yes I am. I'm just the kind of girly who'll kick your ass if you mess up my glitter shoes. ~MystyGlyttyr
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07-26-2012, 05:48 PM
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Front End Supervisor
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 122
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My boss: "Don't make lunch plans for Friday because you're going out to buy me an iPad."
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07-29-2012, 05:24 AM
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Fadavaceas
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 940
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"There are certain people's boobs I'll pluck and others I won't."
"Yeah, please don't pluck my boobs."
__________________
I suspect that... inside every adult (sometimes not very far inside) is a bratty kid who wants everything his own way.
- Bill Watterson
My co-workers: They're there when they need me.
- IPF
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08-01-2012, 03:23 PM
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Just some guy
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 11,619
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"So, when you did your Wonder Woman job, did it involve bullet-deflecting wristbands?"
Rapscallion
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08-02-2012, 01:25 PM
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Hype All Day E'ery Day!
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Standin' On Shame's Grave!
Posts: 104
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"If you smack it, does it not moan?"
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08-02-2012, 09:36 PM
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Assistant Manager
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Holodeck 3
Posts: 274
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CW: "That is one big churro!"
Me: "That's more than one churro. That's more like two churros in a compromising position!"
__________________
"Redheads have at least a 95% chance of being gorgeous. They're also concentrated evil." - Irv
"This is all strange, uncharted territory and your hamster only has three legs." - Gravekeeper
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08-08-2012, 08:49 PM
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Geallta i ngra
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Norfolk, England.
Posts: 1,191
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"Sip it my backside, I'm in a bloody hurry here!"
__________________
Engaged to the sweet Mytical  He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.
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08-09-2012, 05:07 PM
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Just some guy
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 11,619
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"I was going to tell a funny story, but I only had an hour."
Rapscallion
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08-10-2012, 12:52 AM
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Corporate Motel Slave
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Home of rain-soaked coffee worshipers
Posts: 2,138
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"...and I know really shouldn't be driving on it, because it's soooo dangerous, but I mean, the ticking sound goes away once I'm over 50mph...."
__________________
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
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