Firey balls!!

[Plaidman]

So, it's 7 am. Man comes in, gets a big cup of coffee. Now our coffee's hot, especally when you add in that cappacino crap.

Man takes coffee, goes around the store to where the seven-up is, and where I can't see people the most at.

Few moments later I hear a yelp. Thinking he spilled his coffee, I rush over to help.

Nope. The man STUFFED the coffee INTO HIS PANTS, in an attempt to steal coffee. But what happens when you squeeze a paper cup with hot liquid inside? It spills out, and over his stomach and presummly, his balls which he was holding.

I also managed to come over just in time to see the cup fall out of his pants.

I was laughing so hard, I just said Nice try....

He glared at me, and hobbled out, claiming he's going to sue, yadda yadda yadda.

[KnitShoni]

I am sooo glad I didn't take a drink of water when I read this post.

And he's going to sue? I'd love to see him explain that one to a judge:

"Well, your honor, if the coffee wasn't so hot, I wouldn't have burned my nether regions when I stuffed it down my pants. It's the store's fault for making it so hot!"

[Pagan]

You need to introduce him to the lady here that spilled Mickey D's coffee on herself and was initially awarded $3 million!

[Broomjockey]

One can only hope the burns were quite severe, making this individual elligible for a "Living Darwin"

[bigjimaz]

When I seen the thread title I was thinking of the candy fireballs.

Well I was!

Really, I was.

Well, maybe I had a slight glimmer of singed nether regions.

OK, ok, I was hoping it would be about singed nether regions. Are you satisfied now?

Great story, Plaidman.

[Sliceanddice]

i wanna hear what he said to the doctor (because there no way in hell a guy who spilled almost molten hot liquid down his pants, and burn his naughty bits and not see a doctor)

[DGoddessChardonnay]

i wanna hear what he said to the doctor (because there no way in hell a guy who spilled almost molten hot liquid down his pants, and burn his naughty bits and not see a doctor)

If he's smart, he'll come up with an excuse of some sort . . .

"Another guy bumped into me at the convenience store and caused me to spill my coffee all over my privates."

Or . . .

"I was being chased by an alien spacecraft, and in retaliation, they poured hot coffee on me."

Either way, it's pretty damn funny.

[Jacen]

I'm sure there are easier ways to steal coffee then to shove it down your pants.

[Broomjockey]

I can think of easier ways without much effort.

Drink it in store.
Thermal bottle in your pocket.
WALK OUT while the cashier's helping someone else.
Toss an insufficient amount of money at the cashier as he's distracted.
And so on and so forth.

[marlovino]

If he was any kind of man he wouldn't let out a 'Yelp'. He would scream at the top of his lungs 'F**k! MY BALLS ARE ON FIRE!'




Did you at least offer him a cup of ice to 'dunk his donuts' in?

[mattm04]

I would love to see footage of that. What a complete moron.

[Gravekeeper]

If he was any kind of man he wouldn't let out a 'Yelp'. He would scream at the top of his lungs 'F**k! MY BALLS ARE ON FIRE!'

A real man would calmly stand up, leave the store, go home then curl into a ball and cry like a little girl for the next 3 days.

Also....did anyone else mentally append "Salty" and/or "chocolate" to the thread title? ><

[Sliceanddice]

i added doom... does that count?

[Imogene]

i added doom...

"Doom, doom, doom, doom, go home now."
Firey balls of doom?
I thought of Super Mario, oddly enough, at first, but upon getting into the thread, I realized it would be another coffee moron in some way or other.

[Becks]

I wonder if he's leering at people to help apply burn cream to his naughty bits.

And if the situation happens to be on film, it might be interesting to see...