Well, that was enthusiastic. (not really safe for work)

[Cooper]

NOTE: Check the last page. I'm still getting creepy emails! -8/1/13

So, I'm a photographer. I wanted to get more 'posed-portrait' shots, so I put an ad in [notable online ad site] I'm glad I have a very strong creep meter, not that these guys weren't making it obvious.

Basically, I said I'm a photographer who wants to expand their portfolio (I was very careful to be gender-neutral here since saying "I'm female!" tends to attract creeps like flies on sites like that.) and if there was a model looking to expand their portfolio, we should get together.

I've gotten a few serious offers, one who wanted to do an artsy-nude (kinda iffy), and these two.

Uhmm... no.

"Can u host a male"

fine. I'm more comfortable with girls, but male is fine.

"that would like to do more of porn style pics"

No no no

"I am thinking like posing doggie style solo kink"

No no no

"I am up for a fun shoot as long as u are ok with me just enjoying my open sex fetish fantasy well let me know"

no no no no

NO

HI EARL

"HI THIS IS EARL,"

Hi Earl.

I AM A NUDE MALE MODEL FOR ART AND PHOTO CLASSES

Okay, Earl.

"AND VERY OPEN TO BEING NUDE ANYWHERE IN FRONT OF PEOPLE AS I'M"

You seem very enthusiastic, Earl but-

" AN EXHIBITIONIST AT HEART AND JUST LOVE STRIPPING NAKED IN FRONT OF STUDENTS AND TEACHERS !"

I don't think-

"SOME OPEN MINDED FEMALE TEACHERS AND SOME MALES TOO LOVE PUSHING THE ENVELOPE WITH A NAKED MALE MODEL [ME] "

we're a

"UNDER HER CONTROL IN THE CLASS ROOM BY WANTING TO LEAVE DOORS AND CURTAINS OPEN A LITTLE OR IN SOME CASES ALL THE WAY OPEN AND EXPOSE THE NAKED MALE TO ANYONE WALKING BY AND IT'S FUN WATCHING THEM STOP AND WATCH ME NAKED AS A JAYBIRD !"

good fit for each

" A FEW TEACHERS ALSO ENJOY LETTING ME GET ERECT WHILE I'M POSING TELLING THE CLASS THAT MALES DO GET ERECT AT TIMES AS IT'S NORMAL AND EXPECTED ESPECIALLY WHEN TOLD TO GET INTO A POSE WHERE I'M ON MY BACK AND LEGS AND ARMS ARE TOTALLY SPREAD WIDE WITH A PILLOW UNDER MY BUTT "

STAHP EARL

"AND MY GENITALS ARE ELEVATED AND ON DISPLAY FOR EVERYONE TO SEE AND DRAW ! SOME FEMALE TEACHERS LOVES USING ME IN POSES LIKE THIS KNOWING I'M GETTING ERECT ALMOST AS SOON AS I'M ON MY BACK AND LEGS ARE SPREAD , SOMETIMES SHE WILL GRAB MY ANKES WHILE STUDENT'S ARE WATCHING AND SPREAD ME WIDER AS SHE KNOWS I ENJOY HER TOUCHING ME AND BEING EXPOSED TO THE MAX !"

Please!

" SHE AND OTHERS WILL ALSO AT TIMES KEEP ME POSING NAKED PAST THE END OF CLASS SO THAT THE NEXT CLASS STARTS COMING IN AND SHE TELLS HER CLASS ONLY 3 MORE MINS WITH THE MODEL TO FINISH UP THE DRAWING ! "

DO NOT WANT

" SHE AND I VERY MUCH ENJOY THE REACTIONS OF THE NEXT CLASS SEEING A NAKED MALE STILL POSING AND THERE NOT EVEN USING A NUDE MODEL IN THERE CLASS !"

NO

" BY THE TIME I'M DONE MODELING ALL THE NEXT CLASS ARE WATCHING ME AND I'M SLOWLY GETTING DRESSED RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE CLASS FACING EVERYONE AND HALF ERECTED AS IT'S EXCITING DOING SOMETHING I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DOING AS IN EXPOSING MYSELF TO THE WHOLE NEW CLASS AND THE STUDENTS AND FEMALE TEACHERS ARE ENJOYING THE NUDITY AS I GET DRESSED !!! "

EARL!

" I HAVE A LOT OF INTERESTING STORIES OF BEING EXPOSED BY TEACHERS TO OTHERS OUTSIDE OF THE CLASSROOM AND EVEN POSING NUDE OUTSIDE OF THE ART BUILDING IN FULL VIEW OF PEOPLE WALKING BY AND ALOUD TO WALK TO THE BATHROOM NAKED IN THE ART BUILDING WITH OTHERS IN THE HALLWAY WATCHING !"

STAHP!

" GETTING BACK TO YOUR PROJECT I AM OPEN TO BEING USED AS YOU WANT FOR PICS OF ANY TYPE YOU WOULD LIKE !""

...who has the brain bleach?

[dalesys]

Well, the Chicks He Dicks have the correct response.

[Grendus]

You can have the when I'm done with it. Though after that... I think you should just go ahead and crack open a new bottle, thing I'm going to finish this one... and the next.

[manybellsdown]

I'd be willing to bet "Earl" has never actually done any of those things. His whole fantasy probably consisted of telling someone that story.

[Cooper]

It's possible. I sent the first male a 'no' but I'm not even responding to Earl. Far as he knows I never saw it.

[XCashier]

I'd be willing to bet "Earl" has never actually done any of those things. His whole fantasy probably consisted of telling someone that story.

That is most likely the case. I took a Life Drawing class in college, and the models, male and female, were nothing but professional. There was no inappropriate poses or touching, never an erection, the models wore a robe until it was time to pose. I would think that any model who behaved like "Earl" claims to would have the teacher calling the police PDQ.

[AccountingDrone]

That is most likely the case. I took a Life Drawing class in college, and the models, male and female, were nothing but professional. There was no inappropriate poses or touching, never an erection, the models wore a robe until it was time to pose. I would think that any model who behaved like "Earl" claims to would have the teacher calling the police PDQ.

Or someone in the class, or someone walking past and getting an obscene flash

[dalesys]

Or someone in the class, or someone walking past and getting an obscene flash

Or as happened at Robert Fulghum's school, where Robert left the room for a moment and the model's boyfriend carried her off... and he was wearing a gorilla suit.

[MoonCat]

I think "Earl" was pretending he was visiting an online, ahem, "dating" site, throughout that conversation, if you get my drift... Assuming he can type with one hand...or...no, won't go there....

[Cooper]

If I were a different kind of person... Earl gave me his number. I could troll him so hard.

[aulocksmith]

Oh god... I feel for you Cooper. I also do a lot of photography, and just started branching out to commercial work. I've had relatives ask me to do sexy style shoots for them, and I thought that was bad. Earl just kinda tops it all though.

I think the niche I'm heading in to of pet photography might be a better fit for me. Unless I get clients asking for sexy shots of their pets...

[Marlowe]

I stopped advertising for portrait jobs for that very reason. At the time I was thinking of cutting back to give me more time to work on my Master's stuff, but what really made up my mind was this one guy (friend of a friend) who wanted "some nice pictures to send to relatives." I'm always very cautious, but he seemed OK, so on the day in question we met up and went on a walk around the city, through Christchurch Meadows and along the river, stopping occasionally to do pictures along the way. Then, I turn around to change the memory card, turn back and the guy has dropped trou and is smiling at me expectantly. Ew.

Fun and not entirely unrelated fact: nudity has the disadvantage of providing your gentleman's area with next to no protection from the business end of a large three-pronged battery charger.

Extra fun fact: If you choose to cast your trousers aside while making inappropriate advances to your photographer, getting pronged in the nads by a charger could give her enough time to grab said trousers and run away with them, leaving you to make a bare-assed, painful walk of shame back to your college.

The more you know, eh?

[Skarredmind]

So... aulock... I have this sheep and I need...

LOL sorry

[dalesys]

So... aulock... I have this sheep and I need...

LOL sorry

So Skarred, you're from Wyoming, I see...

Daaaaddy!

[XCashier]

Fun and not entirely unrelated fact: nudity has the disadvantage of providing your gentleman's area with next to no protection from the business end of a large three-pronged battery charger.

HA! Seriously, he was practically asking for it.

Extra fun fact: If you choose to cast your trousers aside while making inappropriate advances to your photographer, getting pronged in the nads by a charger could give her enough time to grab said trousers and run away with them, leaving you to make a bare-assed, painful walk of shame back to your college.

And he totally deserved it. Here's hoping a cop picked him up as well. Let him have fun explaining himself.