They actually expect us to do this!

[Samaliel]

look it up online, I'm sure it's somewhere

If you can think of it, somebody already put up a website about it. And according to rule #34, there must be a perverted sicko who also turned this into some kind of freaky fetish porn.

[Beckpatton]

That is officially the stupidest, suckiest story I have ever heard! and I have worked in customer service for over 15 years! WOW!

[BookstoreEscapee]

Like the ferret, she's sweet as heck but can take a chunk out of you if you really make her mad.

Pablo has a notch in his ear where he got bit by a ferret when he was a baby. Hmm, I wonder if that has anything to do with his dislike for other animals...

I can't stand spiders. If I can squish them in a tissue, I'm OK, I can handle that, but a tarantula ... just, no.

[BaristaTrav]

I work for a large corporation pet store. I won't mention the name of the company, but it rhymes with BLETCO. Now, as some of you may know, we sell African emperor scorpions (harmless) and rose-haired tarantulas (also harmless). Though I've already stated that both of these animals aren't dangerous, that's not to say that a bite or sting isn't unpleasant. It sucks.

Now, about a month ago, a man approached me and stated that he and his son were interested in a tarantula. I followed him to the reptile section (I know tarantulas aren't reptiles, but that's where BLETCO keeps them) and he pointed out which one they liked: a rose-haired tarantula. So I unlocked the cage and picked it up to show them. They studied it, interested. Then the boy's father said, "Do they bite?" I replied, "Rarely. you have to really anger them to make them bite." He said, "What happens if they bite?" Now, I've been bitten by a tarantula before, so I know what happens from experience. "It's about the same as a bee sting," I said. Then I lost all respect for this particular customer. He said, "Can you make it bite you so we can see what it's like?"

At first, I thought he was joking. He wasn't. When I told him I wasn't going to intentionally get bitten by a large arachnid, he asked why. I said, "Would you?"
He replied, "No, but you work here. I'm not going to buy a tarantula unless I know for sure that the bite isn't dangerous." I said, "Sir, I myself have been bitten by a tarantula before. It swells up for a day or so, then it's gone." He replied, "Well, if it's that mild, why don't you make it bite you?" I said, "Sir, I'm sorry, but I simply am not going to make this tarantula bite me just so you can see it." I put the tarantula back in her cage. The man said, "Fine, we'll go someplace else then."

About a week later, one of my coworkers said that a woman tried to get her to do the same thing with a scorpion. I loathe sucky customers, but man, are they amusing!

Hmmm.. well first off, being that these animals can give you a painful bite that swells up for a day, I would hardly classify them as "harmless." Perhaps "not deadly," but I wouldn't say harmless..

Secondly, I think an apropriate reply would be: "sure, I'll let it bite me on the hand if you let it bite you on the scrotum." I think that's fair.

anyway.. I was a little afraid by the title of your post that this person complained to corporate and a new memo came down stating that all employees must let arachnids bite them per customer requests..

[Imogene]

there must be a perverted sicko who also turned this into some kind of freaky fetish porn.

Pain is a fairly commonplace fetish now... though it's usually only a stinging pain... whips and such... (rest of my thought is OT, so, I'm excluding it)

[Becks]

Holy biscuit.

That guy needs some smacks upside his head.

[Broomjockey]

rule #34, there must be a perverted sicko who also turned this into some kind of freaky fetish porn.

Actually, Rule 34 simply states that "If it exists, there is porn of it." It doesn't actually say that it has to be pervs or fetish porn or anything. Rule 35 is "If there isn't any porn yet, there will be."

Pain is a fairly commonplace fetish now... though it's usually only a stinging pain... whips and such...

I would hope there's a difference between S&M and purposefully stinging your private bits with venomous insects. *shudder* Arachnids. Whatever.

[Music Mo-Gal]

I don't know who I feel sorrier for: the OP or the poor tarantula. I hope that no other store sells a pet to those SCs - they don't deserve one!

[Nyx]

What a frakin' moron!!!

I also felt for the spider. Poor thing doesn't need to be distressed like that.

[tollbaby]

Oh yes, let's traumatize the poor animal so you and your kid can get your kicks for something you probably won't even buy!!! omg, what a wad. I wouldn't sell this guy a pet if my job depended on it.

[Record Store Tough Guy]

Pain is a fairly commonplace fetish now... though it's usually only a stinging pain... whips and such... (rest of my thought is OT, so, I'm excluding it)

Well, to be fair, a scorpion would be stinging pain too.

[Leopardmadcat]

"Can you make it bite you so we can see what it's like?"

WTF? You see this is why I don't work retail, I don't deal with weapon grade stupidity all that well...

Correct method:
"Sir you need to leave the store now, and don't come back unless you want to be arrested."

Incorrect method:
Pick him up by the scruff of his neck, carry him to the door, and launch him into the parking lot via application of foot to his glutious-maximus.

Now guess which one is more fun?

[chainedbarista]

leopard, i'm going with #2 for the win; maybe it's not the right method, but i sure as hell will enjoy it.

That asshole needs a five-gallon bucket of spiders and dog feces dumped over his head.

i was thinking more along the lines of a treatment that involves:

desert sun
stakes
rope
honey
fire ants

well, sir, these ants aren't deadly, unless you're allergic to them; let's test your immune response, shall we? it's only mildly painful, if you're not...

[Tito]

I believe that I can now say that I've heard it all....

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

anyway.. I was a little afraid by the title of your post that this person complained to corporate and a new memo came down stating that all employees must let arachnids bite them per customer requests..

I may be much too jaded, but that wouldn't surprise me. Tarantulas can't be all that cheap and corporate suits usually can't see anything other than dollar signs.