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Stupid Woman: Talk to me about the difference between a laptop and a desktop.
Me: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh...............uuuuuuuu uunmmmmmmm........ besides the obvious?
I've gotten that one before. I'll grant that some of those customers are thinking along the lines of SuperB's response, but, yes, that question has thrown me for a loop before from the people who truly do not know that a laptop computer (by a very general definition) is simply a mobile version of a desktop computer. I think it's the keyword computer that they somehow miss.
Lately, though, the question that has been boggling my mind is... well, it's not so much a question as an assumption. I have customers, about once or twice a week, who genuinely believe that in order to use a laptop, one MUST have a desktop to go with it. One guy was even a little perturbed that we didn't sell laptop + desktop bundles because he didn't have either, was planning to purchase them together, and was hoping for a "good deal." Took me about half an hour to get him to understand that the two types of computer are independent of each other, but he was quite happy when he realized there was an extra $600 or so he didn't have to spend.
I suspect that... inside every adult (sometimes not very far inside) is a bratty kid who wants everything his own way.
- Bill Watterson My co-workers: They're there when they need me.
- IPF
sc- do you work for (company)
me- actually, I'm the guest in room 303, I just answered the phone saying "reservation desk" as a joke... here's your sign
(I can't believe I'm the first person who thought of bill engval for this thread)
If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song
I just had this moronic woman call from a doctors office about the status of some claims. She had the utter gall to ask me what the definition of a recouped claim was (which is when a claim is paid,but the health insurance company takes the money back due to overpayment, etc.) and also asked me how to spell recoupment and discrepancy. How the hell can somebody not know that and they do the billing/coding??!!
Many years ago I was treasurer for my union local. Found a bank that would give us free checking. Opened an account. The silly woman at the bank decided that instead of putting A.F.S.C.M.E. on the checks we ought to spell it out. (American Federation of State County and Municipal Employees.) I had to tell her how to spell federation, municipal, and employees before she finally figured out it wouldn't all fit. Gee, ya think?
He last name was the same as the name of the vice-president of the bank. Coincidence? I think not.
Women can do anything men can.
But we don't because lots of it's disgusting.
Maxine
My company is in the US. I've gotten (twice in one day, no less):
"You mean if I call Canada, that would be considered an international long distance call?"
Which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't then have an argument with the customer explaining that Canada is indeed a sovereign nation and not a part of the United States.
The smartass in me would tell them that the painted side goes down too. What can I say, I love seeing feeble minds explode
Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me up in a round room and told me to sit in a corner. I couldn't find a corner so I sat in the middle. It drove me crazy........
My company is in the US. I've gotten (twice in one day, no less):
"You mean if I call Canada, that would be considered an international long distance call?"
Which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't then have an argument with the customer explaining that Canada is indeed a sovereign nation and not a part of the United States.
AWWWW....C'mon..... The USA should annex Canada.... well, most of it anyway. We probably wouldn't want Nunavut, Montreal and Newfoundland.... I guess the retired terrorists are not so much of a problem, though. (Mah Tohngue is firmly in Cheek. May mah tohngue turn green iffin it ain't!! ) Disclaimer: Some of my best friends are Canadian and these are some of our inside jokes. /disclaimer
Last edited by Brightglaive; 02-29-2008, 07:39 PM.
You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take,and statistically speaking, 99% of the shots you do take.
I just remembered this story from a long time ago, when I was still in housewares at Sears.
Me: Me
SG: Stupid Guy
SG: Do you sell PA systems here?
Me: Public address systems, you mean? No, I'm afraid we don't sell anything like that.
SG: Well, why is it so hard to find them? I've been to every store in this mall.
Me: Oh, you should try <big music store>. It's across the highway. I go there a lot, and I know they have a lot of PA systems to pick from.
SG: (looks confused) Isn't that...a music store?
Me: Yes.
SG: Why would a music store carry PA systems?
Me: Well, musicians frequently need them.
SG: (angrily) But this is for my church!
And here I experienced the fabled brain-shutting-down moment, stood there stupidly while I tried and failed to make his last statement make some kind of coherent sense. Finally, I said something like, "I'm sorry, I guess I can't help you, then." And he actually snarled at me! It was the only time I remember actually being snarled at.
"Wouldn't that be unethical?"
"That's only an issue for those who aren't already in Hell."
--Dilbert
Which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't then have an argument with the customer explaining that Canada is indeed a sovereign nation and not a part of the United States.
This person is in for a world of fun when they return from their next vacation without the proper ID.
-get a trouble ticket, find the pertinent information, ignore the engrish writeup of the issue, make sure the phone number has the right number of digits, dial.
Other End: (picks up) "...." (nothing but silence)
Me: "Hi, this is Arm with the blahblah support team. Is this User Name?"
OE: "ummm.... what?"
Me: "Is this User Name?"
OE: "I... don't know?"
..... THAT SOUND was the sound of my brain IMPLODING.
I don't even remember how I ended the call.
In what rational world does that question result in that answer? That question has TWO ANSWERS. One answer is YES, the other answer is NO. Either answer is acceptable. Not knowing is not acceptable. I didn't ask you for the cube root of -27. I asked you who you WERE, oh idiot of indeterminate identity...
In the end, it turned out not to be my user, thank god. The level 1 folks botched the contact information as usual, and when I eventually did get my user, I asked about the phone number, and it didn't match any phone they'd ever had.
"Joi's CEO is about as sneaky and subtle as a two year old on crack driving an air craft carrier down Broadway." - Broomjockey
I didn't ask you for the cube root of -27. I asked you who you WERE, oh idiot of indeterminate identity...
.
that's -3 btw...
and I get that every other call
me- reservation desk, this is smileyeagle speaking, may I ask with whom I'm speaking?
sc- i'm sorry, I'm not sure how to answer that
...umm, with your name would be appropriate...
If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song
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