I can FEEL my IQ dropping......

[crazylegs]

Do you work here?

Whilst said in full uniform with company name on front, rear and on (much to my suprise) my trousers.

[princess4life]

SC: Which way does the CD go in the computer?
Me: What/
SC: does the shiny side go up or down?
Me: down
SC: Well then what about painted side?

[HawaiianShirts]

Stupid Woman: Talk to me about the difference between a laptop and a desktop.

Me: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh...............uuuuuuuu uunmmmmmmm........ besides the obvious?

I've gotten that one before. I'll grant that some of those customers are thinking along the lines of SuperB's response, but, yes, that question has thrown me for a loop before from the people who truly do not know that a laptop computer (by a very general definition) is simply a mobile version of a desktop computer. I think it's the keyword computer that they somehow miss.

Lately, though, the question that has been boggling my mind is... well, it's not so much a question as an assumption. I have customers, about once or twice a week, who genuinely believe that in order to use a laptop, one MUST have a desktop to go with it. One guy was even a little perturbed that we didn't sell laptop + desktop bundles because he didn't have either, was planning to purchase them together, and was hoping for a "good deal." Took me about half an hour to get him to understand that the two types of computer are independent of each other, but he was quite happy when he realized there was an extra $600 or so he didn't have to spend.

[gunsage]

Me: "So are you connected directly or wirelessly?"
SC: "Oh, no, I have a mouse."

Me: "Is it Windows XP or Vista?"
SC: "Dell."

Me: "The problem here is we've detected spam coming from your connection."
SC: "WTF is spam?"

This is why I keep headache medicine in my drawer.

[Dave1982]

depending on how it was asked and why, it's not necessarily a silly question at all.

I know, hence "at least at face value"

In this particular case, the woman was just an idiot.

[smileyeagle1021]

guest called the hotel, call forwarded to me...

sc- do you work for (company)
me- actually, I'm the guest in room 303, I just answered the phone saying "reservation desk" as a joke... here's your sign

(I can't believe I'm the first person who thought of bill engval for this thread)

[Sparky]

I just had this moronic woman call from a doctors office about the status of some claims. She had the utter gall to ask me what the definition of a recouped claim was (which is when a claim is paid,but the health insurance company takes the money back due to overpayment, etc.) and also asked me how to spell recoupment and discrepancy. How the hell can somebody not know that and they do the billing/coding??!!

Many years ago I was treasurer for my union local. Found a bank that would give us free checking. Opened an account. The silly woman at the bank decided that instead of putting A.F.S.C.M.E. on the checks we ought to spell it out. (American Federation of State County and Municipal Employees.) I had to tell her how to spell federation, municipal, and employees before she finally figured out it wouldn't all fit. Gee, ya think?

He last name was the same as the name of the vice-president of the bank. Coincidence? I think not.

[Slytovhand]

Co-worker: What's the number plate of the vehicle?
SC: Umm - where would I find that?

[protege]

SC: Well then what about painted side?

The smartass in me would tell them that the painted side goes down too. What can I say, I love seeing feeble minds explode

[angelicafire]

My company is in the US. I've gotten (twice in one day, no less):

"You mean if I call Canada, that would be considered an international long distance call?"

Which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't then have an argument with the customer explaining that Canada is indeed a sovereign nation and not a part of the United States.

[Brightglaive]

The smartass in me would tell them that the painted side goes down too. What can I say, I love seeing feeble minds explode

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me up in a round room and told me to sit in a corner. I couldn't find a corner so I sat in the middle. It drove me crazy........

Crazy? I was crazy once.......

My company is in the US. I've gotten (twice in one day, no less):

"You mean if I call Canada, that would be considered an international long distance call?"

Which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't then have an argument with the customer explaining that Canada is indeed a sovereign nation and not a part of the United States.

AWWWW....C'mon..... The USA should annex Canada.... well, most of it anyway. We probably wouldn't want Nunavut, Montreal and Newfoundland.... I guess the retired terrorists are not so much of a problem, though. (Mah Tohngue is firmly in Cheek. May mah tohngue turn green iffin it ain't!! ) Disclaimer: Some of my best friends are Canadian and these are some of our inside jokes. /disclaimer

[freaktard]

I just remembered this story from a long time ago, when I was still in housewares at Sears.

Me: Me
SG: Stupid Guy

SG: Do you sell PA systems here?

Me: Public address systems, you mean? No, I'm afraid we don't sell anything like that.

SG: Well, why is it so hard to find them? I've been to every store in this mall.

Me: Oh, you should try <big music store>. It's across the highway. I go there a lot, and I know they have a lot of PA systems to pick from.

SG: (looks confused) Isn't that...a music store?

Me: Yes.

SG: Why would a music store carry PA systems?

Me: Well, musicians frequently need them.

SG: (angrily) But this is for my church!

And here I experienced the fabled brain-shutting-down moment, stood there stupidly while I tried and failed to make his last statement make some kind of coherent sense. Finally, I said something like, "I'm sorry, I guess I can't help you, then." And he actually snarled at me! It was the only time I remember actually being snarled at.

[earl colby pottinger]

Fun

Which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't then have an argument with the customer explaining that Canada is indeed a sovereign nation and not a part of the United States.

This person is in for a world of fun when they return from their next vacation without the proper ID.

[Arm]

I had this one a few days ago:

-get a trouble ticket, find the pertinent information, ignore the engrish writeup of the issue, make sure the phone number has the right number of digits, dial.

Other End: (picks up) "...." (nothing but silence)
Me: "Hi, this is Arm with the blahblah support team. Is this User Name?"
OE: "ummm.... what?"
Me: "Is this User Name?"
OE: "I... don't know?"


..... THAT SOUND was the sound of my brain IMPLODING.
I don't even remember how I ended the call.
In what rational world does that question result in that answer? That question has TWO ANSWERS. One answer is YES, the other answer is NO. Either answer is acceptable. Not knowing is not acceptable. I didn't ask you for the cube root of -27. I asked you who you WERE, oh idiot of indeterminate identity...

In the end, it turned out not to be my user, thank god. The level 1 folks botched the contact information as usual, and when I eventually did get my user, I asked about the phone number, and it didn't match any phone they'd ever had.

[smileyeagle1021]

I didn't ask you for the cube root of -27. I asked you who you WERE, oh idiot of indeterminate identity...
.

that's -3 btw...
and I get that every other call
me- reservation desk, this is smileyeagle speaking, may I ask with whom I'm speaking?
sc- i'm sorry, I'm not sure how to answer that

...umm, with your name would be appropriate...