Attention Ladies: It's Not an Insult.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I was just raised with, well, chivalry. I hold doors, I ask if people need help, etc. It's always disappointing when I get glares for being nice. I open a door, lady walks a-r-o-u-n-d me and opens the other door. WTF?

That wasn't a lady. That was a dumb, poorly brought up broad.

[crazylegs]

At least, I'll avoid using the word "pants" for any reason whatsoever, just to be safe.

Feel free to use it in a derogatory, negative sense (this food is pants), its great fun to use!

Am racking my brains asto what to recommend, oh the London Eye, the big ferris wheel thing, you have to order the tickets before hand (I think, time for google) but the views are fantastic.
Other than that I don't know London well enough I'm afraid

[Posture Moll]

Oi, I really don't get why grown women bristle at the term.

In my opinion, if you are old enough to be legally married, you are old enough to be ma'am-ed. 'Miss' is something I reserve for teenaged gals.

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

I miss the days they called me "Mademoiselle." People don't like Ma'am?" how about "Madame?" That's me, "Madame."

[Posture Moll]

I use madam, too. Of course, ladies that take offense get Signora-ed and Your Ladyship-ed until the cows come home.

[MrDelirious]

I use madam, too. Of course, ladies that take offense get Signora-ed and Your Ladyship-ed until the cows come home.

Yes. That's it. I'm calling the next sorority blonde who leaves her stuff behind "Your Ladyship."

"Your Ladyship, you have misplaced your sunglasses!"

[Posture Moll]

That would be adorable!

[Andara Bledin]

But the best was when he was overheard on speakerphone calling someone "Sandra" and was met with a curt "It's Sandy!"

*snicker* That's a woman I used to work with!

Seriously, there was a woman named Sandie. The big cheese is married to a Sandra, and he kept changing the other woman's name to Sandra, and she'd bristle, and say, "It's Sandie!" He's terrible with names and he knows it, so he never got bent about it.

Whether this bugs me or not really depends on who's saying it. When it's little old ladies or little old men, I don't mind. Even if it's other women, but when cocky guys who think they're god's gift to women call me honey and sweetheart, then it bugs me.

Heh, that reminds me of a story about the woman that used to work across the room from me (I got moved to a different part of the office that I like a whole lot more, even if there is a huge window to another office directly behind me.

She had this guy on the phone who was trying to argue the price down on her and she wasn't having any of it. Finally, it got to the point where she was telling him, "I don't care if you order the part or not. If you don't buy it, someone else will." Then a few minutes later, "You don't know me. I'm not your woman, and I sure as hell am not little! If you want the part, fax an order. Goodbye!"

Yeah. This guy had called her "his little lady." That went over real well.

And yeah, he sent a fax for the part, just like she knew he would. We were the only people who even had that part.

At least, I'll avoid using the word "pants" for any reason whatsoever, just to be safe.

Don't forget to avoid the word 'fanny' too. In England, you would wear your 'pants' to cover your 'fanny.' Ain't language fun? (aside from fanny packs, which are almost dead, I don't know that that word even gets used much in the US these days)

[edit to add]

Oh, yeah, almost forgot.

I never use "sir" or "ma'am" when I'm on the phone with people. It's just way too easy to get it wrong.

There's one (legally) female person who calls in to our company somewhat regularly. We buy parts from her. When she first worked for the company I work for long, long ago, she was legally male. The word is that she was ugly when she was male, and she's just as ugly as a female. Big, stocky, not well-proportioned, and has an obnoxious east coast "I'm in a hurry and far too important for anyone to slow me down" attitude, and a notably male (still) voice. Half the office still calls her "him."

There's another woman that works for an associate of the boss' who I've spoken to a few times. My comment about her voice was that it sounded like a man who was very, very good and doing female impersonation. The inflection and attitude were very feminine, but the voice sounded basically masculine. I found out recently that she is also post-op, only unlike the first example, she's rather pretty.

Plus, I've spoken to a few dozen people of both genders over the years who either sound completely ambiguous, or sound distinctly like the other gender. As a result, I just avoid the whole gender-specific honorifics and just stay polite and professional whenever I'm not dealing with face-to-face communications.

^-.-^

[ArenaBoy]

In high school, I was working at Generic Pharmacy and it was policy to ask to card for cigs if the person looked 28 or younger. I carded this one guy who happened to be military.

The entire time he refered to me as ma'am and I quite liked it. I saw it as being polite and seeing me as not someone below his status (me "lowly" casher and him customer). Actually, it felt like he was elevating my status as as superiors are refered to as sir or ma'am.

My mom loves military customers, she says they are one of if not the most polite groups of people in the world. One occurrence was one of their friends was drunk and they got him out apologizing for his behavior even though they didn't cause any trouble.


I grew up around women and military men so respect is embedded in me. It's not that a big of a deal to be respected, I take it as a compliment if a clerk calls me sir. It's just being respectful and polite.

[reformedwaitress]

I'm a Southerner. I grew up calling people older than me "sir" and "ma'am" and I grew up being called "miss" or "dear". I'm cool with miss. I'm cool with "honey". I'm fine with "sweetie" or "dear" or "darling". I'm even okay with "babe" sometimes, depending on how it's used.

But I will admit I pull the same thing the woman in the OP did with ma'am. Now granted, I don't get bitchy, but I'll look at you and say (jokingly) "Don't call me ma'am. I'm too young to be a ma'am".

I know it's not meant as an insult, but something about that word just bothers me. Yes, I'm insane. I know.

Hi, I'm ReformedWaitress and I feel old.

[Becks]

I'm Like that with my first name, its one that can be abbreviated, and thats what I'm known as (like Steve and Stephen only it not) so when I hear my full first name I freak out, I nearly did on my driving test when the examiner called me (full name)

When people call me by my full first name, I get worried. I'm used to only being called that when I'm in trouble. If people at work every find out my middle name, I'm getting out of Dodge.

[Banrion]

Hi, I'm ReformedWaitress and I feel old.

Sort of off topic, but sort of not. What has recently made me start feeling old is those drop down boxes for your age on numerous websites. I'm not in the top category anymore (18-25), I have to drop to the second!!

[reformedwaitress]

Sort of off topic, but sort of not. What has recently made me start feeling old is those drop down boxes for your age on numerous websites. I'm not in the top category anymore (18-25), I have to drop to the second!!

I'll have to do that next year. It'll be depressing.

Though honestly, what makes me feel older than ma'am or anything else is realizing that my little girl is five and in school. THAT makes me feel old.

[Lady Wrath]

When I was somewhere around 11 or 12 I was looking at sandals at Wal-Mart, when a salesclerk said something along the lines of, "We have more like those in the next aisle, ma'am, if you'd like to see them."

I don't think it has anything to do with age anymore. It's just being polite.