More "mama drama" update...

[mjr]

Ok, so the other day I check my email, and I see a LinkedIn request from someone. It's my mother -- but using the last name of Prison Boy.

In reference to these two threads:

http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...d.php?t=107407

http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...d.php?t=111381

The problem I'm having is how to move forward. She sent me a "connect" request on LinkedIn.

We're in VASTLY different fields, and I try to keep my "connect" list limited to colleagues in tech, and tech recruiters.

So I'm thinking of responding, "When did you change your name?"

I know that the stuff is gonna hit the fan. Prison Boy gets out (or is supposed to, anyway) in March of 2017. So in the neighborhood of seven months.

I'm still considering taking some of the advice given in the previous threads on this topic. I have a feeling, though, that there will be a lot of guilt involved.

On top of it, mom doesn't make a lot of money anyway. She's likely going to have to support this guy, because it might be hard for him to get a job with his record. AND on top of it, she wants to take a cruise for her 60th birthday in January.

But the cruise is a side note. She's going to have a hard time finding a place to live, too, I think. If I know my sister like I think I do, she's going to check to make sure that Prison Boy registers as a sex offender within the amount of time he's supposed to. Sis is really not afraid to send him back to jail.

But I'm rambling.

Overall, what course of action do you guys think I should take as far as this LinkedIn thing? Part of me wants to roll the dice, so to speak, and just say, "So, when did you change your name??", and part of me just wants to ignore it until March.

Thoughts?

[KuariKaydrith]

I'd ignore it. She's made her decision and it's not likely that she's going to change in. All I can really recommend is to be there for her when things between her and Prison Boy go to shit. And they will go to shit.

[Librarybabe]

Let me ask the obvious question: What benefit(s) do you derive from having a LinkedIn account? I had one for two years, after initially connecting with former co-workers whose contracts weren't renewed and wanted peer references. I was okay with this.
After a couple months, I was getting requests from people I didn't know to "network" with them. I'm guessing they were friends of former co-workers. Soon, I was getting 2+ of these/week. I got nothing from this cyber relationship and simply closed my account.
If your Mom is as unwelcome in your life as you've made it seem, you'll either have to deal the the consequences of ignoring her, or do as I did and drop LinkedIn.
Emotional leeches can't feed on you if they can't find you. Just sayin'.

[Rodimal]

Ignore her. One less toxic relationship to deal with.

[Deserted]

Reply to the request with "Who is this?" (if possible; I don't use LinkedIn). See what she says.

[EricKei]

I'd say just ignore it. Dollars to doughnuts Prison Boy is another of her contacts, and that means anyone who looks at your profile will see you and her (and PB) as "associated." Also, the link means that both of them will at least have the names, workplaces, and (if uploaded) pictures of your contacts. I would imagine that this is NOT something you want them to have.

[taxguykarl]

Agreed with the above: Ignore that request. Don't give potential stalkers any info.

[Seanette]

Ok, so the other day I check my email, and I see a LinkedIn request from someone. It's my mother -- but using the last name of Prison Boy.

Oh dear God. Better brace yourself for when he gets out.

Any hope of quickly moving to another town and not telling her where?

[mjr]

Let me ask the obvious question: What benefit(s) do you derive from having a LinkedIn account? I had one for two years, after initially connecting with former co-workers whose contracts weren't renewed and wanted peer references. I was okay with this.

This is basically it. Mostly for colleagues that I have worked with in the past, and some technical recruiters. Every now and then I'll get a message from a recruiter there asking me if I'm interested in a position.

Any hope of quickly moving to another town and not telling her where?

At this point? Probably not. We'd have to find a new house and sell our current one. And we're pretty much "established" where we are.

[mjr]

...and an update.

I check one of my email accounts today and I see an email from my sister.

I don't know what happened, but all the email said is "Mom's getting divorced".

My initial response to sis was "WTF? That was fast."

I'm trying to get details out of her right now...

[dalesys]

Probably found out about his fourteen other mail-order brides...

[mjr]

Probably found out about his fourteen other mail-order brides...

That's highly likely.

I'm guessing it could be that, or any number of other things, like:

-- She found out he really doesn't love her, and was just using her,
-- She came to her senses
-- What my sister told her finally sunk in
-- She met someone else, and wanted to start that relationship.

Could be any number of things, really. Wife and I are just glad it's basically done now.

[taxguykarl]

Wife and I are just glad it's basically done now.

Done now or done for now? There is an awful lot of manipulation in this saga.

[mjr]

Done now or done for now? There is an awful lot of manipulation in this saga.

Sigh. That's a valid point.

We're hoping done now. But you never know.

[MoonCat]

I truly wish your mom would look into counseling. IIRC she's around my age, right? (I'm 59) I can understand wanting someone special in one's life, but the way she goes about it....is just so dangerous and unwise. Based on what you said back when this saga began, I really think she needs to understand why she's doing things like this - before she gets taken for her life savings, or worse.