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Generate a Bogus Job Description
Old 03-26-2015, 10:39 PM
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MoonCat MoonCat is offline
Kale-free since 1957
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Eastern US.
Posts: 6,154
Default Generate a Bogus Job Description

This is pretty funny.


Here's mine. Think I should put it on a resume?

"MoonCat is a ninja who uses quantum mechanics to create wealth of winning in putting one foot forward"
"Words in the heart cannot be taken."
---RIP Sir Terry Pratchett
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Old 03-26-2015, 10:48 PM
mathnerd mathnerd is offline
Store Manager
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 808

"Mathnerd is a rock star who uses advanced statistics to create new models of leaning in in the cloud"

Actually kind of accurate in a weird sort of way.
At the conclusion of an Irish wedding, the priest said "Everybody please hug the person who has made your life worth living. The bartender was nearly crushed to death.
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Old 03-26-2015, 11:34 PM
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Irving Patrick Freleigh Irving Patrick Freleigh is offline
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: burning pink camo dumpster
Posts: 12,853

Irving Patrick Freleigh is a pundit who uses content management systems to create creative analysis of leaning in in long-term investments.

Which is probably why he still makes his living lifting heavy things and putting them down again.
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
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Old 03-27-2015, 12:52 AM
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Jay 2K Winger Jay 2K Winger is offline
Pedestrian of the Apocalypse
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 4,631

Jay 2K Winger is a generalist who uses content management systems to create new paradigms of championing in human endeavors.

...this is news to me.
PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

There are only four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!
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Old 03-27-2015, 01:13 AM
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XCashier XCashier is offline
Insert clever title here
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: At the Fabric Store
Posts: 6,068

XCashier is a wizard who uses warp-field theory to create atomic explanations of dominating in making the world a better place
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
My LiveJournal
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Old 03-27-2015, 03:32 AM
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ParkingWitch ParkingWitch is offline
Front End Supervisor
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 147

My given name is a lone wolf who uses drunken econometrics to create new paradigms of mansplaining in human resources.
Still missing you, Plaid
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Old 03-27-2015, 04:40 AM
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Aragarthiel Aragarthiel is offline
The one who takes trash out
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Terminus
Posts: 84

Aragarthiel is a mastermind who uses content management systems to create unchecked growth of dunking in communism

I'm a mastermind. 'Nuff said.
"If you look up long enough, you'll see a shooting star."-Untamed Hearts
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Old 03-27-2015, 10:59 AM
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Kit-Ginevra Kit-Ginevra is offline
Official CS tillgirl fondler!
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Dancing under the stars of Selryndar...
Posts: 395

This sounds so much like Wally from Dilbert created it.
Head of the Green Lifesaver Domination Front
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Old 03-27-2015, 11:30 AM
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catcul catcul is offline
Computer Technician
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 344

"Catcul is a consultant who uses death hacking to create jargon generation of dominating in dad Twitter"

I will destroy you all on Twitter.
This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."
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Old 03-27-2015, 05:20 PM
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taxguykarl taxguykarl is offline
Seasonal Tax Preparer
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Chicagoland (South suburbs)
Posts: 2,647

"taxguykarl is a former musician who uses Google Analytics to create holistic nirvana of forging in trust-fund kids"
I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

Who is John Galt?
-Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged
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