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Men Kissing Men
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Old 01-10-2007, 08:26 PM
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Default Men Kissing Men

Bad language, sorry.


Men kissing Men

Years ago I managed a video and music store. It was, for the most part a good job. There were the normal SCs who I tried my best to disarm with wit and charm. Then there were the people who just wanted to make a scene.

I though for sure this I would get fired by the corporate boss after this stunt. To this day I don’t know what came over me. I guess I just snapped.


M – Me ( the hero, maybe)
E – Erik (co-worker)
SC – Rude lady


I was at the counter checking in videos. Customers would often come up and ask questions. Being a slow day I was much happier than normal. Low stress=good mood. Erik worked the till and hummed a happy song. Things were right in the world.

An older woman walked up the counter with a DVD in her hand. She had that walk of a person with a purpose. I knew my good day was coming to an end.

SC – I want my money back!

She tossed a DVD on the counter. Nice, strike one.

M – Did it not work?

SC – It worked fine, it was just the most vile movie I have ever seen. Vile and sick.

M – We don’t give a credit if you don’t like the movie, sorry. I would be happy to help you locate a movie you might like more.

SC – What! Are you crazy? I said this is filth. I want it pulled form your store.

M - ……..

SC – NOW!

I picked up the DVD and checked it in. It was late. The movie was Big Daddy.

M – How was this offensive?

SC – Two men kissed. That’s wrong. It’s wrong in society. It’s wrong before God. It’s horrible, horrible, and horrible!

She was turning red and getting louder.


M – Well as I said we don’t give credits because a customer dislikes the movie……

SC – This is not about content. It’s wrong and evil. These fags are here to destroy us with their AIDS! You will do what I want.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Erik turn around. Now Erik is a great guy and he kisses men. He was turning red too. I thought I should defuse this and quick.

M – Tell you what, I will credit your late fee and help you find a movie to your liking.

SC – GET ME YOUR MANAGER!

M – I am the manager.

SC – Pull this fag loving movie from your shelves!

M – I have a better idea.

I will never know why I did what I did. I yanked Erik over and kissed him. It was not much of a kiss. I only kiss girls and he kisses boys but I kissed him.

SC – AARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

She screamed. The girl working music started running up. I waved her off. The SC looked like she was being electrified with all the twitching. She grabbed a customer comment card and ran out the door. I mean a full sprint.

M – Shit she’s going to complain to corporate. Erik?

Erik had fallen to his knees laughing.

M – Stop it.

Erik – Can’t.

M – What did you see today?

Erik – Nothing (he was almost crying) Nothing man.

M – I’m gonna get fired.

Erik – No one saw anything. Can you man the till I can’t get up.

M – Sure. Hey don’t tell Sarah (my girlfriend).

Erik – Maybe….. (He never did)

I still thank my lucky stars we were dead that day.


Fallout

Two weeks later the regional manager paid a visit. It was the normal sales and personal meeting. At the end of it he seemed to get uncomfortable.

RM – I had a complaint card mailed to me about clerks kissing and I was wondering………

M – I always tell the staff not to be affectionate with their boyfriends of girlfriends. I will mention it again in the next store meeting.

RM – It was, well, a boy, boy kiss.

M – Weird.

RM – The card also said something about dirty movies and going to hell.

M – Did the card have a phone number on it? I would be happy to give them a call. (Talk about a bluff)

RM – No. Please just keep an eye out.

M – Sure.



I was so relieved. I though I was getting fired. Somehow the corporate people always seem know more than they let on.
I told Erik I was in the clear.
He celebrated by putting on a Ricky Martin tee shirt that was two sizes to small, making the music girl put Ricky Martin’s CD on the store player and dancing around the store.


I never told Sarah ether………..
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