Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Because I want my vag to smell like Christmas...

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Because I want my vag to smell like Christmas...

    I was just reminded of this classic that occurred during the Christmas season...it's not exactly sucky, just...well...um. You'll see.

    This lady comes up to me while I'm standing behind a checkstand doing some sort of courtesy-clerkish thing, and shows me a box of douche.

    "I can't find this in (other brand), could you go look for me?"

    Okay, ew, but whatever. I look. Other brand isn't there. I come back, tell her this. She says that's fine. But...

    "Do you have this in, like, a pine scent?"

    She was serious. I could not have made this up. I said "No" very quickly and pretty much ran full speed in the other direction. That was some weird, weird shit.
    Discourtesy Clerk, purveyor of fine hay bales, pine scented douche and stuff that's not in bins since July 2006.

  • #2
    OMG. Ew.

    Comment


    • #3
      When I read the title of this thread, I was thinking 'I really hope that VAG doesn't stand for what I think it does...' and then turns out it did, then I laughed...and felt a little icky in the process.
      I ride the time, it unfolds a new day,
      another time, this world would fade away
      To find true love, is like no other joy,
      our choice is here
      be happy for today

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth COMINATCHA View Post
        When I read the title of this thread, I was thinking 'I really hope that VAG doesn't stand for what I think it does...' and then turns out it did, then I laughed...and felt a little icky in the process.
        I'd kinda hoped that the OP meant to type out "veg". Then I read the post, and felt badly for thinking of a really dirty comment.
        I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes

        Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!

        Comment


        • #5
          call me stupid, but wouldn't pine...er...sting a little??
          The report button - not just for decoration

          Comment


          • #6
            I don't suppose pine would sting any worse than any other scent, but its a sad reflection that a woman would be so afraid of smelling like - well, like a woman - that she thinks her bits should be pine-scented instead !
            A person who is nice to you, but not nice to the waiter is not a nice person
            - Dave Barry

            Comment


            • #7
              It would have been twice as funny if she had asked for "new car".
              "We were put on this Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." -Kurt Vonnegut

              Comment


              • #8
                Did you suggest she mix one part Pine Sol, one part pine sap, and four parts water?

                That would get her--ummmm---area nice and piney-smelling.
                Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                Comment


                • #9
                  How about PiƱa Colada..I can be her litttle cabana boy.
                  Last edited by Blinky; 01-25-2007, 12:53 PM.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Gawdzillers View Post
                    It would have been twice as funny if she had asked for "new car".
                    Well thank you very freaking much. Now I'll never be able to buy a new car ever again without thinking of this thread.

                    M
                    I never lost my faith in humanity. Can't lose what you never had right?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Blinky View Post
                      How about PiƱa Colada..I can be her litttle cabana boy.


                      Botannical gardens? You could be her gardener?

                      Vanilla? You could be the baker?

                      This is all just too disturbing...

                      Peppermint? Hey, it's Christmasy!
                      "I'm still walking, so I'm sure that I can dance!" from Saint of Circumstance - Grateful Dead

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        If this posts twice - forgive me - I am having computer issues and it's not posting my edit -

                        Actually, this reminds me of a story heard during my bartending days. It happened to one bartender I worked with. We made the whipped cream for the drinks that needed it. We'd use the vanilla and heavy cream and put it in the container with the whippet - yada yada.

                        Well, she was making the whipped cream for the shift and while using the vanilla, she thought that vanilla had a very sensual smell. She got this crazy idea that the next time she was alone with her b/f - she'd bust out the vanilla and utilize it for - well -

                        anyway, so she's at home - getting busy with the b/f - and she tells him to hold on a minute and runs to her spice cupboard to grab the vanilla. She grabs the bottle, runs back to the bedroom, lays down, gets a handful and applies - only to realize she did not grab the vanilla - but rather - she grabbed the peppermint!

                        She said she screamed and it subsequently killed the mood for any nookie.

                        The day after she told us this story, one of the other bartenders stuck a peppermint patty in the cash drawer, so when she opened it - she saw it. It became a running joke to stick peppermint patties wherever she may run into one.
                        "I'm still walking, so I'm sure that I can dance!" from Saint of Circumstance - Grateful Dead

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay...

                          I really wonder if she didn't know what the stuff actually was.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I always wondered about why you'd want your hoo ha to smell like...well, anything.

                            I've also always wondered who keep a douch in a freaking greenhouse, too, but maybe I'm just stupid that way.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              You're not meant to wash it though are you? Just use water! Soaps can disrupt the natural bacteria and give you thrush. According to Cosmo.
                              No longer a flight atttendant!

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X