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I am sorry sir, your brass balls are not deductible

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  • #1

    I am sorry sir, your brass balls are not deductible

    It's Tax Season, and I am working once again at a patriotic tax place.

    Guy came in, a contractor ok whatever.
    On his tax form he has listed under advertising "Brass plated testicular vehicle adornment"

    ME: well you know who I am...
    DC: Dumb Contractor. (Mind you this is a bit of a redneck area)

    Me: Sir, it says here you are claiming "Brass plated testicular vehicle adornment"
    DC: Yeah its on my truck as advertising
    Me: Does it have your logo or phone number etc
    DC: Nope. It shows My truck has brass balls and can do anything
    Me: Umm. Sir, without an actual logo, I can't use that as a deduction
    DC: Why not? My balls show I am up to any job
    Me: I am sorry sir. Your brass balls are not deductible.

    I am proud of myself for saying it with a straight face!
    You've got a real problem all right, and a banjo is the only answer! - Pinkie Pie
    Tags: None
  • #2
    I would just like you to know that my fiance thinks you are a hero.

    I give you the internets. YOU WIN THE INTERNETS.

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    • #3
      aww Thanks Kia!
      You've got a real problem all right, and a banjo is the only answer! - Pinkie Pie

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      • #4
        Well......

        I mean....

        It takes balls to try to get away with that.

        *hides
        "You are loved" - Plaidman.

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        • #5
          Quoth AmethystSquirrel View Post
          Me: I am sorry sir. Your brass balls are not deductible.
          Thank you, I've been wanting a new Sig.
          The High Priest is an Illusion!

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          • #6
            The IRS can remove them...


            ... and that would be a dedickdabull ...
            Last edited by dalesys; 01-13-2011, 03:48 AM.
            I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
            Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
            Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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            • #7
              Around here, someone would steal the brass balls. I mean...who wouldn't?
              A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

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              • #8
                Truck Ballz. Gotta love 'em. A friend of mine who was visiting from the Carribean saw those on a vehicle one day for the first time (steel ones)...This was his first exposure to them. His reaction went something like

                him: "Eric, what what fu--?"
                me: "Huh, oh. Those are truck ballz"
                him: "TRUCK BA....?!" --- he got no further before laughing so hard, and for so long, that I was worried that he was going to have trouble breathing...

                ===================

                Am -- I work for an accounting firm. I feel your pain, even tho I just do tech support, helping people get their programs in order so that they can then promptly wait until the last farking minute to get their tax return information to us.... I know very well that I will have this conversation on or about April 13 of this year: "Why yes, we'd be glad to do the work on your incredibly complex return with all sorts of unusual deductions for you! You want it submitted before the 18th? No extension? Please hold" <cue laughter until I regain my composure> "Sure. But the price just went up. A LOT. I'm talking double or better. Now, would you prefer that, or do you wanna just have us file an extension and get it done as soon as we can fit you in?"

                (note - the due date is the 18th this year due to some obscure holiday)
                Last edited by EricKei; 01-19-2011, 02:56 PM.
                "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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                • #9
                  Well, if you're going to claim them as an asset, does that mean your wife gets em' in event of divorce? They'll look nice on the mantle, right next to YOURS.
                  - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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                  • #10
                    I am so glad I put down my Coke before I read that!


                    Also I wonder if Agent DiNozzo needs balls on HIS car....(one of the earlier episodes of NCIS had him going through this long list of cars describing them to Ziva as either "Chick" or "guy")

                    On that note I wonder.....if truck balls exist, do truck penises also exist? or does the truck compensate for the lack of penis?
                    Last edited by fireheart; 01-13-2011, 06:10 AM.
                    The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                    Now queen of USSR-Land...

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                    • #11
                      I've seen plenty of trucks (and cars too) with dicks.

                      Trouble is, they're very often driving them.
                      Engaged to the sweet Mytical He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.

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                      • #12
                        This thread is killing me!
                        Steven Slater ROCKS! So does James Jones!

                        The world is an asshole contest...and EVERYONE'S A WINNER!

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                        • #13
                          Oh, man. What a way to start the morning . . . .
                          They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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                          • #14
                            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truck_balls

                            Wow, those are some small balls.....
                            The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                            Now queen of USSR-Land...

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                            • #15
                              I was getting gonna start eating my food when I saw what you said, that line was so full of win you can have my fried chicken.
                              ......../\
                              ....../__\
                              ..../\...../\
                              ../__\../__\

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