I have found the bottom of the pit of clueless.

[MystyGlyttyr]

Okay. I'm in Texas, where the temperature is currenly about 77. Farenheit. Sunny and nice. Also, I um, am sitting in a huge building that is a NEWSPAPER OFFICE. There's a big sign hanging right over my desk pointing directly to me saying "EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT". You have to sign in downstairs and make your way past dozens of classified ad people, retail sales, and secretaries, to a rickety elevator, which takes 30 seconds to bring you up one floor, at which point you disembark and come face-to-face with a redhead waving a handful of newspapers around and yelling at two gentleman carrying 75 pounds of camera equipment each that there's no way in hell that she's going to pose her feet for any shoe-story pictures.

Now. The woman who I turned to face at this point really, really, REALLY stood out. Probably because she was wearing a pink parka, windpants, furry boots, a tobaggan hat, and goggles. She seriously looked like she should have skis strapped to her back.

She shuffles her way over to me in her gear while I try to decide where she might have the shotgun hidden, and, very politely, says..."I need to buy 32 tickets."

Thought train derailed. 24 dead, 137 wounded, property damage in the millions.

"Um...what?"

"I need to buy 32 tickets to the Army concert coming up in April."

You would think my brainless 45-second stare at her would get the message across, but no, she just stood there and smiled very nicely at me. Through her goggles.

"Um...ma'am...we're the newspaper. We don't sell concert tickets."

She tilted her head at me. "Oh, you don't?"

"...no...?"

"Oh. Do you know who might?"

"Um...maybe...the concert venue?"

"Oh. Okay, I'll check there. Thank you!" And she proceeds to go tromping down the stairs...and I hear her murmuring "Boy, it's hot in here!"

This happened almost half an hour ago and I've just now managed to formulate coherent thoughts to post it. I've seriously been wrecking my brain trying to figure it out. We're not advertised as a ticket seller for this concert. I know. I checked, thinking maybe, just maybe, I might be the crazy one. But, no. We're not.

So, now I'm going to eat chocolate until I puke. That might make me feel better.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Oh well. I guess if your brain cells had to suffer mine did too. The way I'm going I'll have none soon and end up flopping around like a freshly caught perch.

BTW, are you that redhead? What kind of newspaper do you work for anyway?

[wagegoth]

At least she left quietly.

[Ringtail Z28]

Never say that you've found the bottom of the pit of clueless. The customers will just break out the shovels and start digging. That's if they could figure out how one works.

[Format C]

I have had students who log on to a computer, instinctively start up Internet Explorer, then ask "How do I type a paper?"

My response is "Microsoft Word," which in turn generates a "How do I find?" like Word is a software package that is accessible by the web. This has happened during final exam weeks too.

[Gurndigarn]

I have had students who log on to a computer, instinctively start up Internet Explorer, then ask "How do I type a paper?"

My response is "Microsoft Word," which in turn generates a "How do I find?" like Word is a software package that is accessible by the web. This has happened during final exam weeks too.

Scary detail? I just heard that Google just launched an office-type software package that is accessable by the web.

Me, I want my software at my fingertips, not at the mercy of the web.

[Getoutofmylobby]

And these people are college students?

They need to ASK someone about how to type a paper?

Holy crap...

I almost broke rule 1 with this thread.

[Retail Associate]

Okay. I'm in Texas, where the temperature is currenly about 77. Farenheit. Sunny and nice. . .The woman . . . was wearing a pink parka, windpants, furry boots, a tobaggan hat, and goggles. She seriously looked like she should have skis strapped to her back.

I'm in Michigan where the temp is about 20º farenheit, haven't seen the sun in months and the wind chill is 13 below! I saw a young man in the parking lot tonight wearing shorts and a sleeveless tee. I think these two were transported to the wrong destinations, considering their wardrobes.

Funny story, MystyGlyttyr. I hope you didn't eat too much chocolate. Wait a minute. Is there such a thing as too much chocolate?

[Format C]

And these people are college students?

They need to ASK someone about how to type a paper?

Holy crap...

I almost broke rule 1 with this thread.

Yes, students have asked how to type a paper. In some cases, it goes downhill from there, but that is for another thread.

[Becks]

You know, not too long ago people like that would be taken away. Do they still do that?

[Rapscallion]

I'm in Michigan where the temp is about 20º farenheit, haven't seen the sun in months and the wind chill is 13 below! I saw a young man in the parking lot tonight wearing shorts and a sleeveless tee. I think these two were transported to the wrong destinations, considering their wardrobes.

If you handn't mentioned young, I'd have claimed responsibility for that one.

Rapscallion

[Primer]

You know, not too long ago people like that would be taken away. Do they still do that?

In Texas? Regretfully not.
Sounds like Mysty works for a paper in the eastern part of the state....unless she's in MY town!

[tollbaby]

And these people are college students?

They need to ASK someone about how to type a paper?

Holy crap...

I almost broke rule 1 with this thread.

One of my old bosses was a fairly highly-placed government executive (which means he AT LEAST had a bachelor's, if not a masters). He phoned me up one morning (ridiculously early) and asked if I could rush into the office because he had an emergency on his hands.

I arrive, and he's sitting there drinking his coffee, reading the paper. Ok, what's the emergency??? He says, "Oh, I typed up this letter this morning"... immediately, warning bells are going off in my head and I said, "uh-oh"... he goes, "Hey! I can type as well as the next guy! I even formatted it properly." (questionable, but ok, I'm listening)... so what's the problem? "How do I save this thing?"

No kidding. The man makes $120,000/year, and doesn't know how to save a document in Word. He uses that computer EVERY SINGLE DAY. Frightening, isn't it?

[ahanix1989]

Oh god... you and your texas weather.
The better part about winter: You can tell who the true sluts at school are -- wind chill is -20°F and they still have short skirts on. Standing outside waiting for their parents. Whining about how cold it is. As I drive past in my nice, heated Dodge. They don't even get the temporary satisfaction of my exhaust gas, because it points out the other side

[DGoddessChardonnay]

You know, not too long ago people like that would be taken away. Do they still do that?

Probably not, as it would be a violation of civil rights.