Seraph vs.... A Stick

[Seraph]

Stick won.

For Easter, I managed to slightly impale my calf onto a stick. Best part was that my husband didn't understand what was going on, and proceeded to walk away without me. And then stopped halfway across the field we were traversing, asked what happened, and then continued again.

And then stopped on the other side of the field and asked "Wait, does this mean you want a first aid kit?"

After waiting about five minutes, I realized he wasn't coming back, even though I'd replied in the affirmative, LOL. So I hobbled across the field to his grandma's house, after pulling the stick out (stupid thing ruined my one good pair of khaki pants too!), and kinda flopped in the hallway, whimpering.

Hubby's grandma proceeded to march me to the bathroom, for first aid.

- slightly squicky part, highlight for it-

where she pulled the puncture open and then poured hydrogen peroxide straight in. That was both painful and extremely weird feeling, with all the bubbles forming INSIDE THE CALF. /geh

During it all, she told me to suck it up, she'd seen worse. Hardcore grandma is hardcore!

Stick only went in a little over half an inch, maaaaybe 3/4", by my guess, can't really tell, but its painful as get out.

I did, however, go back for said stick (was easy to find, it had blood on it, LOL), and proceeded to smack it against a tree trunk to break it out of revenge.


....wherein one of the pieces ricocheted off and pinged me in the face. :<



STUPID STICKS.

[KiaKat]

It is a Stick of Ebil and must be DESTROYED.

You must take it to the fires of Mount Doom and dispose of it there.

[LillFilly]

Quoth KiaKat

It is a Stick of Ebil and must be DESTROYED.

You must take it to the fires of Mount Doom and dispose of it there.

Sooo, did you burn it or feed it to a beaver afterward? Hmm, but then the beaver might get a taste for blood and become mutant killer beaver!

[Seraph]

Quoth LillFilly

Hmm, but then the beaver might get a taste for blood and become mutant killer beaver!

And then it will BITE YOU IN THE LEG.

[lordlundar]

To start off with, . That must have hurt.

Second, (and I say this with care and sincerity) Seraph, you are a KLUTZ!

[Seraph]

Quoth lordlundar

Second, (and I say this with care and sincerity) Seraph, you are a KLUTZ!

Understatement of the Year 2012.

[Dytchdoctir]

Quoth Seraph

I did, however, go back for said stick (was easy to find, it had blood on it, LOL), and proceeded to smack it against a tree trunk to break it out of revenge.

When I started to read this part, I thought you were going to say you went to get the stick in order to whack your husband upside the head with it.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Quoth lordlundar

Second, (and I say this with care and sincerity) Seraph, you are a KLUTZ!

She serves up so much PWNAGE on a regular basis that the Law of Averages states the deficiencies must come somewhere.

I give you: Seraph, Enemy of Nature.

[Seraph]

That would explain why nature has tried to kill me on so many occasions... <.<

[sms001]

Quoth LillFilly

Sooo, did you burn it or feed it to a beaver afterward?

Yes, because her first two encounters with the stick went SO well!

[Seraph's Area News:]

"A local woman was found cowering in a drainage ditch, surrounded by rabid beavers, apparently in an effort to avoid immolation after her attempt at burning A STICK went awry, resulting in a county-wide brush fire. Film at 11."

Hope you heal quickly S, and Go Team Grandma!