For Easter, I managed to slightly impale my calf onto a stick. Best part was that my husband didn't understand what was going on, and proceeded to walk away without me. And then stopped halfway across the field we were traversing, asked what happened, and then continued again.
And then stopped on the other side of the field and asked "Wait, does this mean you want a first aid kit?"
After waiting about five minutes, I realized he wasn't coming back, even though I'd replied in the affirmative, LOL. So I hobbled across the field to his grandma's house, after pulling the stick out (stupid thing ruined my one good pair of khaki pants too!), and kinda flopped in the hallway, whimpering.
Hubby's grandma proceeded to march me to the bathroom, for first aid.
- slightly squicky part, highlight for it-
where she pulled the puncture open and then poured hydrogen peroxide straight in. That was both painful and extremely weird feeling, with all the bubbles forming INSIDE THE CALF. /geh
During it all, she told me to suck it up, she'd seen worse.
Hardcore grandma is hardcore!
Stick only went in a little over half an inch, maaaaybe 3/4", by my guess, can't really tell, but its painful as get out.
I did, however, go back for said stick (was easy to find, it had blood on it, LOL), and proceeded to smack it against a tree trunk to break it out of revenge.
....wherein one of the pieces ricocheted off and pinged me in the face. :<