Just When You Thought You'd Heard It All...

[fireheart]

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/hea...-1226699880200

The journal in question is located here: http://download.journals.elsevierhea...1213002320.pdf

WARNING: the first article shows an x-ray of the pelvic area, but the genitalia aren't as clear. The second article does actually show human dong, albeit in a medical context. The second article also has a very graphic image of the fork being pulled out.

So say that you are a man who needs sexual gratification. You decide that sticking something up your urethra is the way to go. Do you:

a) not bother doing so and opt for something more pleasurable and safe?
b) use a catheter or some other very fine object? (ie a skewer)
c) stick a fork 10cm into your penis and end up having to get it removed under general anaesethic in the ER?

If you chose c) congratulations, you are this guy!

The kicker? He'd shoved it in handle first.
The second kicker? They managed to get it out without tearing a hole open in the penis.

OUCH!

[crazylegs]

I'm aware of a pt who did this with a spring onion...

[dalesys]

I'm aware of a pt who did this with a spring onion...

... and the spring unwound...

[fireheart]

I'm aware of a pt who did this with a spring onion...

Oh I've heard quite a few of those stories. Roses, razor blades, you name it.

This one just made me go since I was wondering how the hell a guy can shove a FORK up there...

[Parrothead]

The fork was not visible from the outside

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!!!!!??????

[Draper Mel]

This is the only emoticon appropriate to this story:

[Racket_Man]

OOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

WHY is the only question??

[fireheart]

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!!!!!??????

Oh it gets better...you may not have been able to see it, but you could FEEL IT. (this is coming from the second link I posted)

As for the list of items supposedly inserted into one's wiener, here's a list according to the journal:

needles, pencils,
ball point pens, pen lids, garden wire, copper wire, speaker wire, safety pins, Allen
keys), wire-like objects (telephone cables, rubber tubes, feeding tubes, straws, string), toothbrushes, household batteries, light bulbs, marbles, cotton tip swabs, plastic cups, thermomethers, plants and vegetables (carrot, cucumber, beans, hay, bamboo sticks, grass leaves), parts of animals (leeches, squirrel tail, snakes, bones), toys, pieces of latex gloves, blue tack, Intrauterine Contraceptive Devices (IUCD), tampons, pessaries, powders (cocaine), fluids (glue, hot wax)

At least it wasn't a light bulb....O_o

[DaisyQueen]

I'm a woman and the thought of this hurt ME! OW! OW! OW! Why oh why would you do this?!

[Eevie]

I'm not so much wondering WHY... I'm wondering HOW... I just... Ugh.

[crazylegs]

The worst is wire. Depending on what type of wire it is it may get entangled in the bladder and not be able to be removed the way it went in...

[Mikkel]

I can't help thinking that if the tines stuck out, an erection would look awesome and a bit frightening .

[Mytical]

As a guy I will say... NO WAY IN HECK. Nope, uh uh, negatory, Neit, Nien, no, non, nie, ne, pa, lo. Did I forget to say ain't no way in heck??!

[AccountingDrone]

I'm a woman and the thought of this hurt ME! OW! OW! OW! Why oh why would you do this?!

Prostate massage.

Silly buggers should go onto Ebay and buy a set of urethral sounds. Much safer. They have knobs on the end to prevent them from being shoved in too far to retrieve.

[dalesys]

Prostate massage.

A Wizard's staff...
[/Ogg]