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  • #1

    Overheard in New York

    This site is quite possibly the best reason as to why you should watch what you say in public lest it be very entertaining. My favorite quote so far:

    Big guy on cell: My son swore to us when he was 15 that he would name his first child Toofbrush. He's 21 now and I remind him of that every day... Who the hell knows? Every time I searched his room I found enough pot to cure the whole world's glaucoma.
    http://www.overheardinnewyork.com

    Very addictive and comedy material in there.
    The Grand Galactic Inquisitor hears all and sees all.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Little boy spinning DVD rack: Die, ugly people! Die! Die, ugly people!
    Mom: Stop that!
    Little boy: Die, millionaires, die!


    3 Basic rules for ordering food.
    - Order from the menu.
    - If you order something that will take some time to cook, then be prepared to wait.
    - Don't talk about Fight Club.

    Comment

    • #3
      Oh, I like these.

      *warning adult humor*

      The Lost Friends Episode

      Chick #1: What's that? 'Smegma'? That's not a word.
      Guy #1: Of course it's a word.
      Chick #1: Bullshit. What does it mean?
      Guy #1: Haven't you ever heard of dick cheese?
      Chick #1: Get the fuck out of here.
      Chick #2: It's crud that grows under men's foreskins.
      Guy #2: You must date all Jewish guys.
      Chick #2: Or Muslims.
      Chick #1: I have no idea what you're talking about.
      Guy #1: Don't you inspect a cock before you put it in your mouth?
      Chick #1: I don't put cocks in my mouth.
      Guy #2: Which explains why she's here playing Scrabble on a Saturday night.
      Guy #1: You don't give blow jobs? Honestly?
      Chick #1: No.
      Guy #2: Why not? You're an attractive adult woman.
      Chick #1: I think it's gross.
      Guy #1: Maybe she tried it once and the guy had smegma.
      Chick #2, taking hand of Chick #1: Come with me and I'll explain. [They leave the room, and Chick #2 comes back alone minutes later] Let's go. She doesn't feel like playing any more.
      Guy #2: First no blow jobs, now no Scrabble. She's really painting herself into a corner.
      Guy #1: Before we get lost in all these other issues, I get 42 points for 'smegma.'

      --Scrabble party, 34th & 2nd




      ******************

      Hot mom to kid while walking past construction site: That's called rebar. Can you say 'rebar'?
      Hardhat: Rebar!
      Last edited by ThePhoneGoddess; 06-10-2007, 02:22 PM.
      Because as we all know, on the Internet all men are men, all women are men and all children are FBI agents.

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      • #4
        Bus driver on intercom as it starts to rain: You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey... C'mon, everybody!
        Entire bus, singing: You'll never know, dear, how much I love you -- please don't take my sunshine away.
        Chick: I think that was the least-New York moment of my entire life.

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        • #5
          Mother: Honey, save the cookies for later.
          Little girl: You're so mean! I'm gonna sell you on eBay!

          And buy more cookies
          Last edited by Dreamstalker; 06-17-2007, 09:58 PM.
          "I am quite confident that I do exist."
          "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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          • #6
            Quoth AFpheonix View Post
            Chick: I think that was the least-New York moment of my entire life.
            I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
            My LiveJournal
            A page we can all agree with!

            Comment

            • #7
              I remember watching the documentary "911" and I actually got a good laugh out of it. It was near the end when the camaraman is following a cop by his side and he goes "This aint fookin' Dizz-nee-land!" and then told the guy to get out of there. Not even terrorism can overcome that "New Yawk Charm"!

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              • #8
                Mom unwrapping granola bar for child: Now, eat this over my purse. I don't want you getting crumbs everywhere.
                Four-year-old: Why?
                Mom: Rats like crumbs, and we do not want to contribute to the rat problem.
                Four-year-old: Rats? I want to see the rats!
                Mom: No! We won't be a part of the problem.
                Four-year-old: Where are the rats?!


                Boyfriend: I wish I had a dog.
                Girlfriend: I wish I were a dog.


                Drag queen: Hey, were you in prison?
                Angry man: Yeah, I was.
                Drag queen: That's where I know you from!
                Angry man: Oh, yeah, hey! How are you?
                Drag queen: I'm good. It's so good to see you!

                This site rocks.
                People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
                My DeviantArt.

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                • #9
                  Chick on cell: Dan and I hit it off so great! We were sitting there on opposite ends of the couch and our feet were all intertwined and I paused and just was like "look at us! It's like we have known each other for ages." [pauses] Well, I am thinking of asking him to get his DNA checked to see if we are compatible. 'Cause you know I want someone compatible. I wonder what his genealogical lines are. I told him that I was crazy though and that I was gonna ask. It's just great that he is willing to do it. It's good that he knows I'll be in control of everything.
                  The Grand Galactic Inquisitor hears all and sees all.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Little girl at checkstand: Mommy, I want to drink my soda out of a paper bag, just like daddy!

                    Testing
                    "I saw a flock of moosen! There were many of 'em. Many much moosen. Out in the woods- in the woodes- in the woodsen. The meese want the food. The food is to eatenesen."

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Tourist: What kind of berry is a triberry?
                      Barista: What?
                      Tourist: You're selling a triberry muffin. Well, what's a triberry? I've never heard of that before.
                      Barista: It has blueberry, strawberry, and raspberry in it. They call it triberry because it has three kinds of berries in it.
                      Tourist: So there aren't any triberries in it?
                      Barista: No.
                      Tourist: Then why do you call it a triberry muffin? That's false advertising.
                      Barista: As I explained, it's called that because it has three berries in it.
                      Tourist: But none of those berries are triberries?
                      Barista: No. There is no such thing as a triberry.
                      Tourist: I don't understand.
                      Barista: Look, do you want the muffin or not?
                      Tourist: I don't think so. I don't want to eat anything unless I know what it is first.
                      Barista: So what can I get you?
                      Tourist: Do you have a donut?
                      Barista: No.
                      Tourist: Never mind. [leaves]
                      Barista: Dumbass.


                      *snort*
                      I question my sanity every day. Sometimes it answers.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Chick: What the hell you doin' goin' around hittin' on other women?
                        Boyfriend: It ain't like that! It ain't like that!
                        Chick: What's the matter witchoo?! [Slaps him.]
                        Boyfriend: I just want to know if I still got it!

                        White chick to black chick: That's a cute bag. It would be, if it were real.
                        Black chick: Bitch, it ain't fake, it's stolen!
                        People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
                        My DeviantArt.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          If y'all are enjoying this, you should check out the sister site, Overheard in the Office. I've posted anonymously on there a few times as well.

                          http://overheardintheoffice.com/

                          ETA:
                          "Tech support on phone to customer: You know what you just did? Yeah, never do that again."
                          Last edited by myswtghst; 06-25-2007, 12:47 AM. Reason: See above
                          "In the end I was the mean girl/or somebody's in between girl"~Neko Case

                          “You don't need many words if you already know what you're talking about.” ~William Stafford

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                          • #14
                            Trendy big black woman #1: Girl, did you see that woman?
                            Trendy big black woman #2: Hell yeah.
                            Trendy big black woman #1: Looks like she got dressed without instructions!

                            --McDonald's, 34th & 5th



                            ...I'd better look around to see where I put my user's guide, I wouldn't want to make any mistakes. I mean I don't want to end up like this, do I?
                            "I'm not a crazed gunman, dad, I'm an assassin... Well, the difference being one is a job and the other's mental sickness!" -The Sniper

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                            • #15
                              Ghetto goth girl putting black eyeliner on lips: Do you know what he said?
                              Friend in stall: What?
                              Ghetto goth girl: He said I was aggressive. I can't help if I'm aggressive 'cause I'm half-vampire, half-werewolf.


                              Total surrender
                              Your touch is so tender
                              Your skin is like water on a burning beach
                              And it brings me relief
                              "Nails in My Feet" - Crowded House

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