You Want Fries with That?

[Kara]

Ewww

Alternate titles/one-liners I thought up when I read this:

Talk about a CRAPPY meal
No, sir, please DO NOT super size it
You have the wrong restaurant. We are not the "Home of the Whopper."
You have the wrong restaurant. You cannot "BIGGIE" size it
Robble Robble
No, sir. We will NOT make you a Boston Pancake*
Someone get a mop. Or a Fry-Guy
Will that be for here or to go?
No sir, that is not ANY kind of McNugget
Congratulations. You just made Ronald McDonald cry
That is NOT an acceptable donation to the Ronald McDonald House
Do you need a napkin?
What can I get you to drink with that?

And finally,

Police have identified the suspect as the former Mayor McCheese. McCheese, you may recall, was forced out of office in shame after it was revealed that he made his secretary, Birdie, fondle his buns as part of her daily duties. McCheese has long been suspected of Ms Birdie's subsequent disappearance, but no evidence has ever been found to connect him to the incident.

*If you don't know, for the sake of your innocence, DON'T ASK!

[XCashier]

Workers threatened to call police, so the man left, Sims said.

Um no, you don't threaten, you just CALL THE POLICE right then and there! When are folks going to learn that walking on eggshells around these creeps isn't going to make things any better?!

[DesignFox]

That is NOT an acceptable donation to the Ronald McDonald House

now THAT is hilarious.

People are sick...I would have called the cops. No threats. Just called them.

Maybe we need to treat people like that like the animals they are...you know, tackle him and rub his nose in it! BAD human! BAD!

[XCashier]

Maybe we need to treat people like that like the animals they are...you know, tackle him and rub his nose in it! BAD human! BAD!

Maybe swat him with a rolled-up newspaper? Hang on, no newspaper...will this do?

[DesignFox]

I like the salmon...that works nicely!

Although, if we had some paper, maybe we could train him to go on IT instead of the floor...wait, that's still gross...

[HYHYBT]

Um no, you don't threaten, you just CALL THE POLICE right then and there! When are folks going to learn that walking on eggshells around these creeps isn't going to make things any better?!

It hardly matters; it's not like the guy would still be there by the time the police showed up anyway.