I'll have two boxes of .... O_o

[PepperElf]

http://notalwaysright.com/of-all-the...ud-to-slip/164


this whole site is making me giggle
but that last one made me laugh the most...

http://notalwaysright.com/the-joys-o...hteousness/218
this was funny too except the cop also lied about the part where it's illegal to drive while using your cell phone.
unless it's some weird state... it's legal if you're in a hands-free mode (meh)

[Emrld]

I know where I live that we have an area that during school zone it is not legal to use cell phone while driving . . .even in hands free mode.

(and most of the time you can tell if someone has you on hands free - sounds just like speaker.)

I would also like to know why when the woman said something about catching up to the vehicle . . .meaning she was also speading he didn't offer to write her a ticket.

Just seems a little fishy to me.

[Caveat Emptor]

Oh, man. I had to stifle my laughter lest my supervisor chastise me.


"DE TING, DE TING!!!
Tech Support | Oregon, USA
(I worked tech support for a major software company, specifically with their digital media products. This call was about their video editing software.)

Me: “Thanks for calling ***** tech support.

(The customer gives me her info and has a thick accent I can’t place.)

Me: “Great! What can I do for you?”

Her: “Yes. I am trying to edit dees beedio, and eet’s blue and blue on de ting.”

Me: “So…it’s blue, and blue…on the thing?”

Her: “Yes.”

Me: “Where is it blue?”

Her: “On de ting.”

Me: “By ‘thing,’ do you mean the Computer screen or your camera?”

Her: “Yes…de ting.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t see what you are looking at so you’ll have to tell me the name of the thing that is blue.”

Her: *getting angry* “DE TING!!! Eeet’s BLUUUUE AN BLUUUEE ON DE TING!!!!”

Me: “What exactly is blue? The video on your monitor? Are you outputting to TV? The viewfinder on your camera?”

Her: “Yes.”

Me: “Yes…which one?”

Her: *yelling* “DE TING!!!!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but I don’t understand where you are having a problem.”

Her: “THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!!! I SPEAK PERFECT ENGLISH!!! MY HUSBAND TAUGHT ME HE WILL BE VERY VERY ANGRY WIT YOU!!! I DEMAND RESPECT!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!”

Me: “Ma’am, I agree. You speak english very very well. The problem I am having is you are not telling me where you are seeing blue video.”

Her: “ON DE TIIIING!!!”

(This exchange went on for a while before she got frustrated and hung up. The best part is, my call was being listened to by some higher level support guys. They created an internal troubleshooting document that appeared as follows

PROBLEM: VIDEO IS BLUE AND BLUE ON THE THING

SOLUTION: NONE AT THIS TIME

TROUBLESHOOTING:
>(TECH SUPPORT)IS THE THING BLUE? TRY REINSTALLING THE THING

>(TECH SUPPORT) THING REINSTALLED. STILL BLUE

>(ENGINEER) CANNOT RECREATE THING IN LAB.

>(ENGINEER) PROBLEM ALMOST RECREATED. THING RED."

[PepperElf]

scammers gets pwned by the truth, caught in their own lies

http://notalwaysright.com/how-to-sca...mer-part-4/330

http://notalwaysright.com/how-to-sca...mer-part-3/242
(the part about the cops is especially funny)

http://notalwaysright.com/lesson-1-h...m-a-scammer/12
ROFL...

and that last one reminds me of this...
http://www.gearzoneproducts.com/inde...OD&ProdID=1572

a gentleman who came into the store, brought his products to the counter and told the person helping him, " I know Chris he is one of my friends from the teams. Can I get a hook up on the price?" The only issue: it was Chris who was helping him and they did not know each other and had never met before. It is now a running joke in the company because it has happened more than once.

(and ... now i'm gonna buy that tshirt for my bf cos he loves that story lol)

http://notalwaysright.com/more-slippage/223
march of the.... so when does THAT movie open up?

[Caveat Emptor]

I love the one where the dog owner calls the emergency vet line, describes something one her dog's belly that looks like "a tube of red lipstick...."

[Gawdzillers]

http://notalwaysright.com/thats-like-mean/213

Ell Oh Ell.

[tropicsgoddess]

That site has some hilarious stories!!! Cockporn and March of the penises!!! Lol!!!

[cinema guy]

I like this one.

Madagascar = mad about...

[lordlundar]

http://notalwaysright.com/the-joys-o...hteousness/218
this was funny too except the cop also lied about the part where it's illegal to drive while using your cell phone.
unless it's some weird state... it's legal if you're in a hands-free mode (meh)

Don't be so quick to judge. Hands free mode does not make it legal as the person can get nailed for reckless endangerment. It's usually applied to ANYthing that can distract the driver while driving.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

That site has some hilarious stories!!! Cockporn and March of the penises!!! Lol!!!

If that's available on DVD, I think I know who has a copy . . .

[PepperElf]

Hands free mode does not make it legal as the person can get nailed for reckless endangerment. It's usually applied to ANYthing that can distract the driver while driving.

but then they'd have to actually know that the driver was reckless driving, not just an assumption. i could be wrong but i've yet to hear of any state that's banned cellphones while driving. i think he was just trying to scare her into shutting up.

Worst. Advertising. Ever.
very funny too. except where someone threw ketchup at her and called her a "satanist bi**h" just for wearing a bad halloween costume.


and This lil gem

Customer: “Excuse me, but I ordered the vegetable soup!”
Me: “Yes ma’am, I know.”
Customer: “I don’t see ANY vegetables in this!”
Me: “Ma’am, that’s because it’s your coffee.”
Customer: “Oh.”
(She was surprisingly nice for the rest of meal and left a hefty tip.)

[Shangri-laschild]

This can't end well....

"(At an ice cream shop)

Me: “Would you like any mix-ins with that?”

Older woman: “Yes, I would like almonds. But not too many, because I’m allergic, and if I have too many I will die.”

Me: …"

[Broomjockey]

i could be wrong but i've yet to hear of any state that's banned cellphones while driving. i think he was just trying to scare her into shutting up.

I have. Pretty sure it was at least California, and maybe some of the centre states. Plus I think some areas in Canada it's a ticketable offense if they've got you stopped for something else.