Here's the Dear Abby Update

[flybye023]

and it's a little disappointing IMO. Unwanted Touching in Retail Situations

There was some acknowledgment that people have the right not to be touched but answers ranged from "She's ignorant" to "She's not paying enough attention to her surroundings".

[NightWatch]

hey, maybe it's just me, but that link doesn't have any updates on the dear abby issue. there is a drop box for dates, maybe it's a different date that i missed?

[ReadyToRetire]

It worked just fine for me.

[edible_hat]

Maybe we should go to Abby's office and touch her.

[crazylegs]

Thats it? With all the emails we sent she pulls one out tat disagrees and three that agrees with her?

She sucks. Big time.

[edible_hat]

Maybe it's time for a new tack...

Dear Abby,

Somebody keeps giving me bad advice. For example, when I asked what I should do about customers touching me at work, her advice was to "suck it up and live with it". What should I do about this bad advice giver?

-Felt Up by Strangers on a Daily Basis

[PepperElf]

oh that's what i was going to post about! i read today's paper yesterday (yeah they deliver it by mid afternoon here) and the whole thing was reader responses to her statements.

i'll try to find it.... think i found it here http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/

RETAIL WORKERS HAVE THE RIGHT TO THEIR OWN PERSONAL SPACE

DEAR ABBY: I disagree with your reply to "Nicki in Maryland" (March 23), the retail saleswoman who is tired of being not only touched, but physically pulled about by customers.
Everyone has personal space, and this includes service industry employees. A light touch on the arm is one thing; to be pulled or regularly touched on the shoulders and hands is quite another. To suggest that Nicki tolerate such behavior to keep a customer, or find another line of work, is disappointing. Frankly, some customers are not worth keeping, or should be educated that retail workers are human beings who deserve to be respected as such.

Maybe Nicki likes her job. Why should she give it up because of the occasional behavior of the rude and insensitive? Perhaps the job works for her because of personal or school issues. Retail jobs often have the most flexible schedules.

As a former retail employee, I have many fond memories, but I also remember people from all levels of society who believe that we are somehow less than human, temporary slaves to be treated as they see fit, and subjected to all manner of poor behavior without recourse. -- BETH IN HAYWARD, CALIF.

DEAR BETH: You are entitled to disagree. However, I also suggested to "Nicki" that she review the company's policy on touching with her employer, stay out of arm's reach, and look for tasks in the store that involve less contact with customers. While some readers sympathized with her, others agreed with me. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: While I agree that Nicki's situation is one about which the supervisor should be made aware, I believe a firm, straightforward "Please don't touch me" is appropriate. I am a former food server. I contended with the problem on a daily basis. I also don't care to be touched by anyone I do not know. I feel that everyone has the right NOT to be touched. We as human beings need to respect this.

Nicki should, indeed, try to remain out of arm's reach as you suggested. That tends to work, as it makes the other person look foolish if they have to lean to grab you. -- CYNDI IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR ABBY: Retail employees have no less right to say "No" to unwanted physical contact than any other human being. Moreover, a corporate culture of respect for employees fosters a healthy work environment, which is far more important to sales than the retention of a single pushy, touchy-feely customer who does not respect employees. Happy workers, confident in the support of their supervisor, sell with smiles on their faces, rather than selling at arm's length in fear. -- CUSTOMER'S NOT ALWAYS RIGHT

DEAR ABBY: Perhaps "Nicki" isn't well aware enough of her surroundings. A conscious effort to train herself to be sensitive to who is around her or approaching her could solve her problem. Simply glancing up could give her a clue as to whether the person is coming to ask a question. As a result, there would be less reason for the impolite to reach out and touch her. -- ANDY IN LUBBOCK, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: Being touched by customers happens to go with the turf in any meet-the-public job. If Nicki can't accept this basic fact, she should find a job in accounting.

Friendly people make more sales, receive more tips and earn more money. Face it: Friendliness involves a certain amount of physical contact, and it's human nature to reach out to people you like. That's why successful businessmen make a point of shaking hands. -- ALLEN IN GRAND ISLAND, NEB

COPYRIGHT 2008 UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE

to me it sounds like the only person who agreed with Abby was just agreeing with the "stay out of arms reach" part. No one agreed with her attitude that they should be be accpeting of the treatment because they are servants to the customer.

I suspect she got a LOT of email about that.

(woops didn't think about that, thanks Ree)

[iradney]

Dear Abby is a moron. That is all.

[CaroPhoenix]

And Allen in Grand Island, NEB should be shot and quartered. I cannot believe he thinks all retail/food employees should be "friendly" by letting people lay hands on them. (I'm thinking Allen is a pervert).

I think we should e-mail her some more mail disagreeing with the original letter AND the letters (and her advice) from today. Sheesh.

[marasbaras]

Can I touch you if I buy you dinner first?

(ducks and runs!)

[CaroPhoenix]

*dies laughing at marasbaras*

That was too funny ... thank you for killing me.

But yeah, I like my suggestion. Just keep sending her the complain e-mails, she might wake up and smell the coffee or something.

[csever01]

I have to say that from how it sounded to me, only the last one (Allen) actually agreed with her. The others seemed to generally agree that perhaps Nikki should maintain a bigger personal bubble to avoid the problem, but they also confirmed that retail employees have the right to NOT be touched.

Clearly, Allen has never had a job involving direct customer contact.

Abby needs to get her eyes checked if she thinks everyone else agreed with her.

EDIT:
OK, I know I should just shake my head and let it go, but I just had to send another comment:

Dear Abby,
I noticed you responded to readers' views regarding Nikki in Maryland (March 23), but I am disgusted with your response. First, you should realize that the majority of the examples you claim "agreed" with you actually only agreed with your advice to widen her personal bubble. Most maintained that she has a right not to be touched. Second, you clearly left out the scores of other readers who responded negatively to your column. I know many people on a personal and professional level who responded to your advice and vehemently disagreed with you, yet none of their letters made it into your carefully crafted column. You have lost a long-time reader, Abby, and judging from your original response to Nikki, in doing so, you have gone against your own advice. You of all people should be graceful enough to admit you might have been wrong rather than use a clearly biased sample of responses to justify your misguided advice.
Sincerely,
Moving On in Minnesota

[BaristaTrav]

Hate to break it to you, but the vast majority of Dear Abby readers are likely themselves, SCs.

[Kogo Shuko]

Abby sounded like a consumer in her response to Nikki.

Maybe she doesn't know what it is like to be LED somewhere by a customer who smells of BO and has your arm in a vicelike grip.

[LostMyMind]

I gave up on that Abby pretender when she gave crappy advice to grandparents when they were complaining about on how their deaf married child's keeps their grand-children safe when they're sleeping.

I wrote her an email telling her, that unlike people who can hear. Deaf people can't hear kids breaking into the kitchen or getting outside and wake up to stop them. So locking the child into their very safe room at night is necessary.

That Abby pretender is nothing but a spoiled rich brat giving out textbook advice that isn't rooted in reality.