feeding time

[thehippie777]

Spotted in another Montana newspaper:

How would you handle this situation? Talk about putting the waiters/manager in an awkward situation. Can you imagine the other customers' reactions???

http://www.missoulian.com/articles/2...cal/news05.txt

[Danno]

Apparently public breastfeeding is unambiguously legal there so I guess that's what I'd tell the complainers, assuming they existed. I suppose there are other situations where people could bother others with perfectly legal actions, but frankly if neither law nor policy is being violated why can't one customer politely tell another that their actions are making them uncomfortable? Not passive aggressive enough I guess.

Off topic - Great Zeus, I had to double check that this didn't take place in Alaska with the names she gave her kids. River's fine I guess, but that poor baby's gonna probably take a lot of flack for being named Canyon someday.

[pile of monkeys]

I don't think the issue seems to be the fact that the mother was breastfeeding, but that she did it in an almost aggressively public way, and then got "outraged" and indignant when it was suggested she could be more discreet. I personally think that those who breastfeed without covering up, and in situations where it's extremely public, do so almost hoping someone will make an issue of it, so they can lecture everyone on how natural and right and wonderful it is. Those who are just feeding their children generally manage to do so without making a scene. I also think it's a bit disingenuous for someone to whip out a body part that, like it or not, is sexualized as well as procreative, and then complain that people are staring. I have known many many people who breastfed their children, and they all managed to do so, in public, without ever causing a scene or even having people realize what was happening.

There was an interesting case at the mall I used to work in, where a woman was breastfeeding on a mall bench. She did so by exposing her entire breast, and not using any kind of cover or clevely draped shirt or anything. Literally pulled her breast out of her shirt and went to it. A college student, if I recall correctly, took a picture with his camera phone. The woman complained to mall security that he was taking pornographic pictures of her without her consent. Neither her face or the child's was visible or recognizable. She also tried to demand that security erase the video footage of that area during that time, as she thought security personnel would do something illegal or immoral with the footage. The ultimate response, after mall management and the police were called in, was that she chose to essentially expose herself in public, and in doing so, she couldn't claim that someone was recording a pornographic act without acknowledging that she was performing one. Since she raised quite the stink about how breastfeeding was legal and wonderful and natural and right, and that breasts were made for feeding children, she couldn't turn around and say that it was pornographic. An aside, but I think relevant, no one approached her to ask her to move, stop, or cover up. But many people stared. Which, I'm sorry, seemed to be her intent. The college student ended up deleting the picture. I think he, too, was trying to prove a point. (Malls in college towns. Ugh.)

I have no objections to those who breastfeed, but, like any group that has its militants, I feel that often people go too far in trying to "prove their point" and end up hurting "the cause" and those who genuinely just want to go about their business.

[MannersMakethMan]

Interesting article. The woman herself doesn't come across too bad, but we are only seeing one side of the story. I would have liked to know how accurate her description was of the table for one thing.

What I don't understand is why couldn't the other customers have said anything to her directly? Why did they have to go through the manager? They could always have looked away if they really didn't like it as well, but if she doesn't know she's offending anyone, how can she be expected to do anything?

If they'd said anything, then there was a moral obligation for her to be more discrete, but otherwise she's completely in the right. The restaurant handled it the only way they could really, but they shouldn't have had to get involved at all.

[Plaidman]

My. Gawd.

There are almost 7 billion people on this planet.

Let say that there are 3.5 billion woman and 3.5 billion men.

Take out a third or so of the woman for lack of breasts, due to age, or medical reasons.


So that is 2.16 billion woman with boobs.

Now, to claim that you are one of the few people who can honestly say you have never ever ever once seen one of those 2.16 billion woman's boobs, (Remember folks, woman are twice the fun, so that's really 4.32 BILLION BOOBS!) then no-one in the world can help you. Woman's breasts are everywhere.

In books, movies, art, pictures, internet, down the street. Heck, intresting fact, even your /hot/ cousin has them. Your aunt, your sister, your niece, your daughter, even grandma has boobs. You never seen Grandma's boobs?

Its. A. Boob.
Feeding a child. What, you got no problems eating dead lobster ripped from the sea and gutted by a grizzled bearded man who just got down with man sex from lack of woman?

Oh wait 7 degrees. You haven't seen boobs. So diidn't your lobster, nor the gay fisherman who dug it up. Creepy.

But you can't have a child drink milk.


The milk you drink comes from cows.

And no, chocolate milk doesn't come from brown cows you racist.

[PepperElf]

hmmm

not to be a devil but... so that means the woman in the story can also whip it out in church to feed too.

now i'm all for breastfeeding, it's natural and all, but... at the same time i don't think it's bad to want someone to use a feeding blanket. i figure... it's balancing out what you need to do with manners.

heck, going to the toilet is natural too.
so is changing a diaper.

but you won't see either of those being done at the restaurant table

[Emrld]

It doesn't take but just a glance of an exposed breast (let alone some other body parts I can think of) that would cause me to lose my desire to eat. I don't have to stare for that to happen.

While my sisters nursed her children I personally didn't want to be in the room. Let alone at a resturant with someone no matter if the cover or not.

I have no problem with whatever choice a person makes in the care of feeding of their children. (as long as they are caring for the child - not my place to make decissions)
On the other hand- I don't want to see you bits and pieces even if it is a normal natural function taking place.
I have more respect for the woman who covers up and shows respect to the rest of the patrons.
Another thing to consider . . .family friendly setting . . .that means children of all ages. Ergo the exposed person is making a choice that it is ok to expose others children to the sight of breast feeding. (And yes, I made that point to someone who had no problem exposing their breast and then offering it to their child. The woman admitted that I had a point she had yet to consider.)

again I state - your child your choice - just consider how many people you are effecting by those choices - is my official OPINION

[tollbaby]

Plaid, that was incredibly well-said.

If you can't take a little flash of boob while a mom feeds her baby, then for god's sake be an adult and walk away. (or look away)

Why is it acceptable for men to go around shirtless but women must practically wear a burka (sp?) to breastfeed??? You know what, in my city, it's LEGAL for women to go topless in public, and I'm proud of that. I don't do it on a regular basis, but at least when I was a new mom and breastfeeding, I could point THAT out if anyone complained.

I have no problem whatsoever with women breastfeeding in a challenging manner. It's absolutely incomprehensible that society makes such a huge deal out of something so natural. Do you have to put a towel or blanket over your head to eat? Seems kind of ridiculous to make a breastfeeding baby do it.

[sms001]

It IS legal for men to go topless. Even in a restaurant. But there is a difference between legality and societal norms. I've got no problem with a mother breastfeeding, wouldn't even glance back if one caught my eye. But I'd probably ask management to ask the man with no shirt on to get dressed.

On the other hand I have no problem with myself or others sitting down at a picnic table with no shirt and chowing down.

I realize it's conditioning to object to one and not the other but the fact is that there are things that bug some people that wouldn't phase others. Being polite and caring about the society around you means occasionally doing something innocuous like using a feeding blanket, or wearing a shirt.

Heck, farting is a natural biological function. But not many of us do it at the restaurant even though it is perfectly legal and within our rights.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

heck, going to the toilet is natural too.
so is changing a diaper.

but you won't see either of those being done at the restaurant table

My guess would be that that is because eating is a function that people do at a table and crapping and/or diaper changing is not.

And yes, she can whip it out and feed her child in church, too. Why shouldn't she?

I assure you, God's seen a boob or two. Which, it would appear, is more than the denizens of the sad little burg in the story have seen.

It doesn't really matter what anyone thinks or how anyone would have reacted. The law is on the lady's side, according to the article. They were waaaay out of line, and their behavior was harrassing.

And thank you, Plaidman.

[PepperElf]

i know people will disagree with me... i just feel that it could have been handled better by both people, regardless of the law.

likewise... i somehow suspect if say...a hormonal teenage boy (or man!) was there and just started staring and looking extremely aroused (but not acting on it) she might be offended and upset with him and perhaps ask him to stop

however that's not illegal either

(and legal and appropriate aren't always the same thing... there's always going to be people who don't feel comfortable with it, but it doesn't mean there's something wrong with that person)

but i'll leave this alone after this comment... cos anything else i guess would be for fratching

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Oh, I agree with that wholeheartedly.

I dunno if any of you watch The Office, but anyone remember that scene where Jan made a big deal out of the fact she was breastfeeding and how natural it was and how nobody had to be embarassed and then Creed walked over and just started blatantly staring.?

[thehippie777]

This was totally meant as a "look at what the manager/staff had to deal with" rather then "holy poo a boob!" But...let's go with it lol

[Lace Neil Singer]

She didn't have to whip out her breast and plug the baby in; my sister in law manages to feed my niece in a perfectly discreet way (she puts her baby inside her shirt so to the casual onlooker, she might as well be giving the baby a prolonged cuddle). She certainly doesn't do it in public; my sister in law believes that feeding her baby is a private joy, not a public one and I agree with her.

In the living room surrounded by family; fine. In a restaurant surrounded by strangers; not fine. We all have to share this planet so the least we can do is respect each other. Looks to me like this woman was just trying to provoke trouble by flashing her breast; feeding her child was secondary. Pardon the pun, but this woman made a complete tit out of herself by acting the way she did.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Well, here's the thing, there's not always a place to go that's more private. And more often than not, you can only put it off so long.

So your choice is to not leave your house for a couple years or do the best you can.