The New Relationship: King or Knight? (men, women, and 'in charge' in relations...)

[teh_blumchenkinder]

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...king-or-knight
:3 I cannot express how happy I am reading this article from Psychology Today. Not MSNBC or Yahoo! or some crap-- actual, legitimate, research backed and professionally written encouragement-- and well articulated to boot!

[Flying Grype]

Oh HELL yes. But I wouldn't say 'knight' either, that still has implications for chivalry and stuff. Can we both just be people? My fiance and I are effectively roommates with benefits. I mean, it's more than that, but that's how we live. We keep our finances separate, we help each other out, and neither one of us is 'dominant' for making more money. The alpha-beta theory seems like it comes from patriarchists who watch too much Cesar Millan. In their minds, if the man isn't the leader the woman must be the leader... there is no room for alternative schemes.

I have thought since I was a kid that a relationship where one person is always the protector/provider and the other was always the one being helped/coddled would be tedious very quickly. Anyone who thinks they're going to spend their life with another person needs to be able to flip-flop.

[Mytical]

Wait, so there is hope for the 'knight' (and I use the term only because the article did) personality? Which means there is hope for me yet . Seriously, if your partner is happy, and you care for each other..what does it matter if one makes more money then the other. EVERY relationship should be 50/50 (though yes in times the percentage changes depending on needs this is the 'average').

[ShadedWings]

Wow... this article almost exactly describes me and my beau-that-is-here. I are lucky.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

I know! Isn't it exciting??
*cough *
Sorry, I'm a little hyper right now, which is strange, 'cuz it's morning... but eh!
I know some relational problems stem from "I'm a guy, I'm supposed to take care of my girl," because that's a societal 'imperative' just as much as "guys don't hit girls ever." Thankfully, more and more people are realizing that worth and manhood aren't attached to monetary earnings. There are more articles that I want to read at that magazine-- I didn't realize it was online! ... But it's already midterms for me.

[ShinyGreenApple]

In the past couple years or so, I've untangled SO many emotional and psychological knots I had because I started seeing things this way. My Mom raised me with the belief that women really shouldn't have to work because they're supposed to stay home with baybees while their man works and provides. I was miserable for a long time because I was working and couldn't find a nice guy and the economy sucks and blah blah blah. While I'm just working retail again, I'm happy knowing that I can be happy. If I pursue a relationship, it's because I want the person, not what he can provide for me monetarily.

If more people thought of relationships as give and take, two way things, they'd be so much happier.