Dear....

[Evil Queen]

Dear Mel,

I want puppies!

Waiting until New Mexico,
-EQ

[edible_hat]

Dear guy who's replacing the tiles in the car wash:

What the *$%@ did you eat? That smell you left in the bathroom can't be natural.

-The guy who threw up after you shat out whatever it was that crawled up you and died.

[morgana]

Dear Kansas Republican Legislators,

Quit playing f***ing games with my livelihood! Trying to blackmail the governor into signing your damn budget bill against her will (and ours!) is a bunch of political bullshit!

Hate,

A Kansas State Employee

[AdminAssistant]

Dear Kansas Legislature (again),

DITTO!!!

Believe it or not, some of us may need our tax refunds. I was hoping to use mine on some new eyeglasses. I can only hope that Missouri will be more generous with the half I get from them. And don't you even THINK about cutting University dollars. I barely make a living wage as it is, and many of my professors are in the same boat.

Growingly,

A New Kansas Resident

Dear University,

If you do have to make cuts, why don't you make them in OTHER places? I'm sure there's some overpaid administrators floating around, and there are damn sure a bunch of overpaid athletics employees. No, I don't give a damn about a basketball team - that I have to pay athletic fees to support, yet don't get access to tickets to the game, am not allowed to park on campus during the games, AND have to bend over backwards if I happen to have any of the pituitary cases in my class. This is supposed to be a world-class university, but all I see are vastly underpaid employees and a crumbling infrastructure. You know, buildings without central heat/air, that kind of thing. Taking away the grad student travel fund, because it's more important that the undergrads get a new shiny for the rec center than for grad students to have money to travel to conferences.

You can take your 'Rock Chalk' and SHOVE IT UP YOUR JAYHAWK BLUE ASS!

No Love,

Your overworked, underpaid, Humanities GTA

[Animae]

Dear R.


Please refrain from attempting to put things in my bottom without my permission. If you do not, I will be forced to take drastic and pain inducing measures to remind you that this is not a situation where it is better to ask forgiveness than permission.

[the_std]

Dear Animae,

...

...


Me

[RootedPhoenix]

Dear cheese,

Thank you for being tasty. You were quite awesome in my tomato soup.

--RP

[iradney]

Dear HR Lady

I sent you an email on Monday afternoon asking how much annual leave is currently available to me.

(Yes, I know that the leave is displayed on my payslip, but according to Formerly Awesome Boss, those days are incorrect as APPARENTLY the leave forms I sent in between June and November of LAST YEAR were LOST and therefore those days weren't taken off my annual leave.)
As far as I'm concerned, if you idiots lost the bloody forms, then there's no proof I took those days and they shouldn't be taken off. But I digress...

I STILL haven't had a reply from you. This is not a trick question. In fact, it is your JOB. Bloody well reply, you two-faced harpy!

Rads

[dalesys]

Dear DreamMachine®:
Please stop casting the ex as a rational being.
Thanks

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Nose,

Stop dripping! I do not have the sniffles!

That is all,
And you had better listen to me darn it!
Rummy

[SengaKitty]

[Not so] Dear Admissions Councilor,

What is so hard for you to understand that we are readmits? Not only are we readmits, but we were GOOD STUDENTS in our time on job corps. Why are you being such a vile bitch? I mean, really, I spent nine months on a job corps center. Is it really necessary for me to go on the tour? Not only that, but I do not intend to go to a Job Corps center in the state, so please, explain why I would want to tour the piddly whitney young center in Simpsonville tomorrow morning, let alone be at your office at the ungodly hour of 8:45 in the morning for anything othe than my interview telling me when I'm leaving this hell hole?

I was told by your supervisor I would not be required to go on the tour. The woman who TRAINED you. So what is your issue? And seriously? I mean, there are enough army brats out there, you've NEVER seen the birth certificate of one who was born abroad? BS.

Now, excuse me while I go bang my head against the wall repeatedly, so that I might lower my intelligence level to yours in order to understand your obviously fucked up idea of the situation.

A very NOT happy
Rhpg

[iradney]

Dear Formerly Awesome Boss

You suck. In fact, you suck beach balls through a hosepipe. You'll "fight for me" HAHAFUCKINGHA!!! Like you "fought" for me to get a decent laptop? Or a raise? yeah...shame on me for ever trusting you and thinking you were a great guy. I hope you get bitten by a wallaby in Australia, you bleeding hypocrite!!

DIAF!
Rads

[CaroPhoenix]

Child Rum,

I cannot take your curiosity(?) much longer. I'm going to go insane again. I do not have eyes in the back of my head (contrary to popular belief, they were not handed out at the hospital when I gave birth to you).

Please, stop touching the scissors. If your hair is bothering your eyes and you can't see. Tell. Me. I cannot do anything if you don't tell me. Cutting a little swatch above your eyes is NOT the way to go.

I think I'm going to go and curl up into a fetal position and cry.

Your Mommy

[monolayth]

Dear Nurse,

Who trained you to do an IV? the blood is supposed to stay in my body or in the little vials. Not all over the floor the bed and my hospital gown!

glad she did not have to clean up the mess,
mono


Dear Lungs,

Work right dammit!
the rest of the body,
meh

[KiaKat]

Dear mommy,

Please be ok. This was going to be the first winter you didn't end up in hospital, and I was looking forward to seeing you this weekend. The norovirus can go enjoy someone else's body for a while.

Love,

Eldest Daughter.

Dear Norovirus,

DIAF.

No love,

The One Who Takes Care of Sick Mommies

Dear A,

I'm sorry your sister's doctors suck. I'm sorry they didn't catch the diagnosis. I'm really sorry that you, of all people, have to go through so much. Your family has been through enough already. If I manage to get up there, I'll gladly help.

Love,

Kat

Dear, darling, wonderful friend B,

Life needs to give you a break. Soon. I'll talk to life for you and see if I can do something. In the meantime, please remember you have a lot of friends who want to help in any way we can. And don't forget your kitties - they can help.

Many hugs,

Kia

Dear Life,

FOAD. Seriously. All you're doing right now is causing problems.

No Love,

One Who Will Not Be Your Bitch.