Dear....

[BookstoreEscapee]

Dear refrigerator,

You didn't have to die to get us to clean you out.


be

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Prosciutto,

I you.

I you just out of the package, and I pull a strip off and just eat you, washing it down with a slice of cantalope.

I you with a side helping of Child Rum eating a piece along with me.

I especially you wrapped up in a white flour tortilla with just a miniscule amount of mayonnaise in it.

Happily,
Rummy
----------------------------------
Dear Cheetos Puffs,

You are cheesey awesomeness.

Rummy
--------------------------------------
Dear BJ's Warehouse Club,

You are the best because you have both the prosciutto AND cheetos puffs. I'm in hog heaven.

Rummy
-----------------------------------------
Dear Everyone,

Yes, I'm writing love letters to food.

Please don't make fun of me.


Rummy

[monolayth]

Dear toddler,

Morning comes at 9 or 10, what is this 7 stuff this morning? You know that I will be a raging B all day today right?

Want more sleep,
mom.

Dear new husband,

Do you remember how much of a jerk you were when you quit smoking? Why have you decided to take it back up? This is not ok.

Angry,
Mono.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Dear Summer,

It's not even June and I hate you already.

be

[dragon_wings]

Dear Route 8 bus:

Eat me.

A very tired and pissed off Dragon_Wings

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Dining Room Table,

Could you please clean yourself?

Not motivated,
Rummy
------------------------------
Dear Mr. Rum,

What should I tell my mother when she asks: "Does your husband like going to the gym more than being with you and Child Rum?"



Rummy

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Els,

Thank you. At least her eye didn't crust over during her nap.

*le sigh*
Rummy
------------------------------------
Dear Jack & Dragon_Wings,

I feel and share your pain. NoVA isn't that much better.

Road rage-y,
Rummy
-----------------------------------
Dear MommaRum,

No, I did not let Child Rum play in pinkeye fields. I have no clue how she picked it up.

Ready to tear out hair,
Your loving daughter,
Rummy

[dragon_wings]

Dear Motorists in the Greater DC/Baltimore Metropolitan Area;

Please stop sucking so hard!

KTHXBYE!

--Your Fellow Motorist That is Ready to Usher in the Era of Autodueling So He Can Blow Your Reckless, Aggressive-Driving Asses Off of His Roads!

Omg yes! And I only ride the buses.

~~~~~~

Dear heat:

Fuck off.

A very over heated Dragon_Wings

[Jack T. Chance]

Dear Motorists in the Greater DC/Baltimore Metropolitan Area;

Please stop sucking so hard!

KTHXBYE!

--Your Fellow Motorist That is Ready to Usher in the Era of Autodueling So He Can Blow Your Reckless, Aggressive-Driving Asses Off of His Roads!

[Elspeth]

Rummy,
Hugs to you and Child Rum. Poor thing!

Els


Life in general,
yeah can you just knock it the fuck off. Thanks. oh and could a doctor maybe figure out what the fuck is wrong with my Grandma? She just turned 97, this isn't fun anymore

also Sounders, get your dam arse in gear for Sat.

House clean yourself

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Whoever Is In Charge,

First Child Rum goes to pediatrician yesterday. Gets diagnosed with ear infection. Gets amoxicillian.

Then this morning, she wakes up, and her right eye (the one with the cataract no less!) is crusted over and she can't open it. So I take her back to the pediatrician's office. Now she has pinkeye.

Could you please stop ganging up on my daughter?


Rummy

[Moirae]

Dear slimy good for nothing know it all manager:

I quit. I can't take your crap anymore. So go stick your snobbery up your wazzoo.

Your ever loyal employee, Moirae

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Left Ear,

You better only be having sympathy pains and not having an ear infection like what Child Rum may or may not have.


Rummy

[monolayth]

Dear mother nature,

Could you please take some midol? Seriously you have been extra crazy these past few weeks.

supposed to have strong and severe storms here,
mono

[CaroPhoenix]

Not-So-Dear-BiL#1 and his wife,

Please get in touch with your freaking security company! I'm getting tired of calls from them looking for SiL#1. For some reason you put Mr. Rum down as an "emergency contact" and now they're leaving messages for him to call you to get you to call them.

Stop it now.

Act like adults, call them, and get this straightened out. I'm tempted to tell them you've been abducted by space aliens.

GRRRRRR,
Rummy