Dear....

[monolayth]

Dear dishes,

Go do yourself.....

meh,
Mono

[Elspeth]

Dear Fates:

I don't like you right now. Thank you for screwing the weekend we had planned in Oregon. Yes I know I could have spent less money, but we had to eat. Granted we get to stay home and watch the 1st leg of the Sounders game at home but I miss our friends. If I didn't have family up here we would move down there.

Also where are the house cleaning fairies?!

Els

[CalyCoRose]

Dear Elspeth,

I have been wondering the same thing about the house cleaning fairies. Did they go on strike?

Wondering,
CCR

[Sarlon]

dear lungs,

I love you...I take good care of you....I don't smoke, I rarely get sick.

so why is it that this past few days you have tried everything in your power to crawl out of my chest?

no love,
me

dear Card customers,
yes I understand that your on unemployement, and that you NEED gas to get around to do things, however I do not place the $125 gas holds on your card. and please don't expect sympathy from me when you gripe that its happened before but you didn't think it would happen again!!!!11!

and for the record...no I'm not stealing your money. I do not set the fees, I do not set the gas hold amounts, its plainly written in your terms and conditions. yelling at a lowly peon such as myself, changes nothing....but suddenly you don't have time to contact the people that can handle this, but you have time each month to call in and complain?

no love, me

[fireheart]

Dear QANTAS staff AND QANTAS CEO,

Hurry up and sort out your dispute like good little boys already? You can't cry poor, then turn around and give yourself a 70% payrise....>.>

[CalyCoRose]

Dear Nabisco,

Thank you for creating the deliciousness that is Limited Edition Oreo Candy Cane flavor. I am in love.


CCR

[Becks]

"Dear" BIL,

Just so you know, whatever stains are on the carpet in the basement are from YOUR dog, and not the cats. Your dog is only trained to let you know what she has to go out when she's in the truck--she's not housebroken. And I don't know if you noticed, but you only really let her outside once or twice a day. Me and Mommy are the ones who let her out the rest of the time.

If I had a dollar for every time she peed or pooped down here because she needed to go out late at night--when you're still awake--and you didn't let her, I don't think I'd need a job. That being said, I don't appreciate you telling my sister that it's because of the cats having "accidents". Fuck that. They're all litter box trained and we clean up after them when they have upset tummies/hairballs.

Just because you hate your job, stop being a dick to the rest of us. We're doing you favors--Mommy by being the resident house sitter, and the rest of us by paying you rent so you can pay off the mortgage.

Not in the mood for your BS,

--me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dear" MOTH,

Fuck you. Just because I didn't want to go for a hike in snow covered mushy ground, I'm an embarrassment? Yeah. Just...fuck you. Really.

Getting really sick of the members of the household with penises,

--me

[BeenThereDoneThat]

"Dear" Spouse,

I'm sure you didn't really HAVE to mop our bathroom floor just as it was time for me to get up and get ready for work...in said bathroom. And you sure didn't have to give me attitude when asked if there was a section of floor next to the sink that hadn't been mopped yet so I could grab my tooth care supplies and take them downstairs so I wouldn't be late. I'm really tired of your immature, passive-aggressive bullshit, so put on your big boy pants, do your share of the housework when I'm already AT work, have the decency to talk to me like the person you profess to love even if you are in a whiny/pissy/entitled mood, and don't treat me like I'm dog shit on the bottom of your shoe. It's pretty bad when I would almost rather be at work than at home.

Seethingly yours,
The woman who married your sorry ass

[HappyFun Ball]

Dear Uterus,

For 21 years you have caused me nothing but pain, embarrasment and cost me money, so I am having you evicted.

Good Bye Forever,

Not So Happy Fun Ball when you act up

[Jack T. Chance]

Dear Windows XP;

We've had some good times, you and I. You saved me from the horrors of Windows ME, you allowed me to play some of the greatest PC games ever made, you served me faithfully for roughly a decade. But now, now you are a bloated, useless whore that has outlived her usefulness! You cause me nothing but headaches and I am DONE with you! Time I started saving up for a new desktop with a shiny, new install of either Windows Vista or Windows 7!

Goodbye, Windows XP. It hasn't been pleasant.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear T-Mobile;

Please to be getting the 3G network working PROPERLY with the BlackBerry Internet Services again! KTHXBYE!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Clearwire;

You best be getting your act together and securing additional funding to keep your 4G WiMax mobile internet service alive & kicking! Don't you even THINK about going out of business on me!

[BeenThereDoneThat]

Time I started saving up for a new desktop with a shiny, new install of either Windows Vista or Windows 7!

Suggestion: Skip Vista and go right to Win7

[Jack T. Chance]

Suggestion: Skip Vista and go right to Win7

Except that I've been using Vista for 3 years on my laptop and it has been about 99% trouble-free! At this point, it's more stable and reliable than XP! Whereas Windows 7, based on my limited experience on a neighbor's computer and at work for just the last few weeks, seems to be a case of change solely for change's sake. The stuff they "fixed" wasn't broken to begin with, making the transition to 7 a steeper learning curve than it needed to be, In My Opinion.

[BeenThereDoneThat]

Vista didn't work out too badly for me either but Win7 seems very stable. YMMV

[BookstoreEscapee]

Dear Guy,

Last week you were looking at my card and asking about my name, after months of being all friendly and flirty; this week you barely acknowledge my presence. WTF?



Dear Self,

Why do you bother getting your hopes up? Don't you know better by now?

[monolayth]

Dear adult females,

When you use the "word" "bestie" in a sentence I cannot take you seriously. That "word" is best left to girls in high school.

Thank you,
The women who want to be taken seriously.