Dear....

[Jack T. Chance]

Dear Research In Motion BlackBerry;

I DESPERATELY miss the good old days with you, back around 2007. Why did you have to let yourselves get left so far behind the rest of the pack in the smartphone race?

Wishing I could get a thoroughly MODERN BlackBerry every bit as good as my old 8700 was at the time!

--An old school CrackBerry Addict

[fireheart]

Dear Peter Coombe,

I can TOTALLY sympathise with you being over "Mr Clickety Cane"...it is the ONLY song I've had in my head whenever someone has mentioned your name over the past week. Although I am impressed that you kept count of how many audiences you've performed for! (He has performed for over 4100 audiences)

Now I want to hear more of the OTHER songs for my kids! ("Juicy Juicy Green Grass" is becoming a favourite as it's not nearly as earwormy)

Love,
Fireheart.

Dear student who I think has ASD,

Hooray for lining up with the rest of my class today without prompting! Fingers crossed we might be able to do it without the prompt tomorrow!

(For context: this kid refused to get off the playground at the end of recess and lunch over the last week. We had a breakthrough with the bribing of Lego, but he didn't need it today)

Dear child with developmental delays,

You did SO well this morning in your second language class. You moved out of the way for other children when they moved into your space and you participated in the circle game we had today (although you kept squeaking the bone so I think we need to find a non-squeaking one ) as well SO wonderfully!

Love,
Fireheart.

Dear class,

YOu are such a wonderful group of children

[Tyg3rW01f]

Dear Green-ass New Guy,
I know I am one of the slower delivery drivers; I know I took a month to learn the basics of our job.
But dammit! I learned REAL QUICK to NOT use the GPS app on my phone! Don't you know those damn things are at least ten years out of date?! Hell, Cellphone GPS STILL has NO CLUE that Sam's Gap is open and Old 26 has been renumbered!
Pick up the damn pace, will ya?

Signed,
j.

[Kagato]

Dear flatmates,

I don't care that it is pouring down with rain outside and that you 'don't want to stand outside getting wet while you're having a smoke'. YOU DON'T COVER THE [CENSORED]ING SMOKE DETECTORS SO THAT YOU CAN SMOKE IN THE FLAT WITHOUT SETTING THE ALARMS OFF.

I have sent an email to the landlord with a photo of the roof smoke alarm having a sock still fitted over it that you idiots didn't even have the common sense to take it off again afterwards, because I don't feel like DYING if there happens to be a fire and the alarm doesn't go off because you twits covered the damn thing, I hope you get booted out sooner rather than later.

No love,

Me.

[catcul]

Dear Lenovo,

I hate some of your new laptops. On your T440s and T540s, you have the worst touchpads I have ever used. You have to push it down to mouse click. Right clicking is even more difficult. If I'm having problems as a technician, I can't imagine how much difficulty the average user is having.

F you,

Catcul

[Dreamstalker]

Dear ASM:

I know I never ask for days off or call out (late, yes; out completely, no). So when I have a request for days only one week there must be a reason (dogsitting 3 towns over and can't leave the pooch alone for any more than 6 hours). Stick to the request. If you read my note enough to grasp "no overnight" you read enough to grasp the other part. Usually I'll handle the schedule abuse, but not that week. I could have requested off completely, but I didn't. Don't push it.

By the way, that text just after midnight on Saturday wanting me to change my availability that day when you knew darn well I was still petsitting? Not appreciated and really not professional (I bet you wouldn't have dared do that if I'd been home--why not just ASK me on Friday when I was actually there?). The shift lead has my cell number, he could have just called me at a more reasonable hour--the answer still would have been no as I couldn't have been there in time.

[Tyg3rW01f]

Dear Chicago Cubs fans

STFU and FUND your piece-of- team so you can buy some players who are worth the time it takes to sign their check! Maybe THAT way, you'll break the so-called curse and win a Series.

Otherwise, QUIT whining and just accept the fact your team simply SUCKS!!

[catcul]

Dear Travel Agency,

I am glad that I don't have to use your "services" anymore. In my last project, you were the exclusive travel agency for the bank. All you offered were were $110+/night hotel rooms. Unfortunately, the bank will only pay for $100/night. That would include taxes and fees. That meant that we had to find hotels through a certain hotel site just to find a hotel room that would keep us under budget. We still had to call you and book those rooms.

Now, you are the preferred travel agency. The bank encourages, but doesn't require, using your services. Now you offer $60-$90/night hotel rooms. It's funny how that works. I'm still going to use my preferred travel agency. That's not you.

Sincerely,

Catcul

[Tyg3rW01f]

Dear Jerk-wad at Work,
You think you can tell me how to do my job? Let's review some things: I've been here 15 months, you have been here five. If you want to tell me about Job-issue items, then all we're allowed to wear at work would be a shirt hat, and apron; in other words STFU about me carrying a pocketknife, jackass. Oh, and the minute your name is included in the list of managers, is the minute you can tell me what to do. Otherwise, shut up, do your job and remember who has the fucking seniority.
Signed,
J.

[Tyg3rW01f]

Dear Dumbass Customers
START LISTENING TO ME!!! I have FIFTEEN pizzas to make, 20 coming out of the oven, and ten deliveries to make as of thirty minutes ago!! I DO NOT have the time it will take to completely and utterly RE-EDUCATE you on how to F***ING LISTEN to the Specials!! And NO! These are SPECIALS!! They are NOT regular menu price!!! You CANNOT combine Specials and BOGO!! Go curse my competitors with your fucktard-ness and stupity!!!
-Signed
Pissed off Pizza Guy

[Dreamstalker]

Dear E:

Stop telling me how to do my job. I know you need to think that you're on top of things, but let's be honest, I know far more about the technical quirks and frustrations of SCO (and how to properly and quickly deal with them) than you do. Go back to running the other slackers on the registers and let me do what I do. As I'm listening to you prattle on about how I should be bagging, getting baskets, etc that guy on #8 who I was watching just walked off without paying for over $100 worth of stuff. I'm not signing my name to that receipt, I know what happened and the manager does too.

[fireheart]

Dear hayfever,

Please FOAD.

Seriously,
Fireheart.

Dear Work,

Thank you for being ever so supportive of me. Hopefully you won't mind me taking notes this year to help me remember things during shifts. It'll also help should things suddenly come to bite me in the ass.

Love,
Fireheart.

Dear Bing Lee,

Thank you for offering to hold the TV for me today and letting me wait around until my partner came in to pay. Getting a TV home is a bitch on the train, so I was glad that you gave us that leeway. It is now currently running a Raspberry Pi and my partner is watching Youtube Videos off of it.

Yours sincerely,
Fireheart.

[Tyg3rW01f]

Dear SC's at Work
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT m************************ SPECIAL YOU WANT, f****ING ASK FOR IT INSTEAD OF ASKING ME WHAT g**f****d*** SPECIALS WE HAVE!!!
Signed,
Tyg3rW01f

[Tyg3rW01f]

Dear Me,
POwerplaying is easy, RP is hard. RP is more rewarding in the long-run dipshit.

[Sarlon]

Dear Weather,

I love you....I love spring.....I love the cool nights and hot days....I mean this......

BUT CAN YOU PLEASE MAKE UP YOUR FREAKING MIND ABOUT 80 DEGREE HIGH ONE DAY AND 20 DEGREE HIGH THE NEXT?!!!

No love,

Me