Dear....

[Food Lady]

Dear accuracy hater: Yes, I like for people to be accurate with grammar. My remark had nothing to do with you personally. You didn't have to defend yourself saying "Well, I could save your life!" What does one have to do with the other, anyway? And yes, I also like media productions to be as historically accurate as possible. I've a right to that opinion. I'm not sure why it angers you, except that you just like when people wing it? I sincerely hope that you don't just wing it when administering medical care to your patients. You put a big damper on my Easter, and I only came over because I care about your son and daughter-in-law. I really wanted to have my meal at my house, but I agreed to their house anyway. And then I had to deal with your condescending tone. I'm sure you don't mean to be like that, but someone needs to tell you how you sound. I'm not gonna; I just met you.

[Food Lady]

Dear Jerk-wad at Work,
You think you can tell me how to do my job? Let's review some things: I've been here 15 months, you have been here five. If you want to tell me about Job-issue items, then all we're allowed to wear at work would be a shirt hat, and apron; in other words STFU about me carrying a pocketknife, jackass. Oh, and the minute your name is included in the list of managers, is the minute you can tell me what to do. Otherwise, shut up, do your job and remember who has the fucking seniority.
Signed,
J.

I could've written this so many times (minus the naughty words ), and my initial is even the same as yours.

[Kit-Ginevra]

If you want to tell me about Job-issue items, then all we're allowed to wear at work would be a shirt hat, and apron;
Signed,
J.

JUST a shirt,hat and apron?Is this some sort of specialty restaurant? Nothing to cover the nether regions(especially in the vicinity of cooking and sharp knives? ?

[Food Lady]

Dear spine, why you no hurt me all day and now that I have to be at work in less than 8 hours, you keep me up? I'd replace you if I could!

[Tama]

Dear Life: FUCK YOU!

I need a $10,000 oral surgery, there's almost $400 in vehicle tax before we can renew the car registration (which expires TOMORROW), and rent is due soon too!

We were doing so well! Why now???

[Tyg3rW01f]

Dear Rednecks
I know it is my job to bring your *bleep*ing food as I'm the *bleep*ing delivery guy. HOW-the *bleep*-EVER!! It is NOT my *bleep*ing job to take your *bleep*ing abuse over the *bleep*ing phone! NEXT *bleep*ing time, I'll make *bleepitty bleepitty bleep bleep* certain to make YOUR *bleep*ing order a *BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*ing "Timed Order" that won't arrive at your piece of *bleep* trailer for another three hours!

[Dreamstalker]

Dear (possibly soon to be ex) Client:

Yes, I agreed to take care of your (sick) dog for 3 weeks...which I now realize I shouldn't have done. I know you're paying me less than the vet would charge for boarding, but there's a tradeoff there. If anything goes wrong I may not be able to get the pooch to the vet in time, and I cannot pay out of pocket. Your dog, you pay for his care.

I realize you're leaving on Thursday. I emailed you three simple questions about my overnight shifts (confirming that YOU said those shifts would not be a problem), contact/emergency info and the dog's medication (if you run out I can't just 'pop over to the hospital'). You ignored my email except to say 'can u come early'...I can, but you need to answer my questions. Interesting how you won't contact me if there will be a permanent timestamped record of what you said.

[catcul]

Dear Delta Airlines,

Why do you see fit to send me to Detroit on my way home? When I flew to Charlotte, NC, from Orlando, FL, I had to go through Detroit, MI. When I fly to Greensboro, NC, from Austin, TX, I'll have to go through Detroit, MI.

Why do you do that? That makes no sense to me at all.

Sincerely,

Catcul

[Tama]

I think Detroit must realllllllly need the business...

[catcul]

There's a clip from a movie called "Kentucky Fried Movie, a Fistful of Yen" on YouTube that has dialog relevant to this.

Good Guy: "You don't scare me, you "
Bad Guy: "Take him to Detroit."
GG: "No, NO, not Detroit! Please! Anything but that."

[darkroxas45]

Dear Tim,
Dude when we go fishing, Just go to the boat ramps. It saves time and frustration when we don't have to pull 20 pounds of grass off our hooks and weights between casts. Also STOP BLARING YOUR FREAKING MUSIC. You can boost the bass/treble/volume all you well please, your speakers are still . Plus if I don't sleep the night before I sure as don't wanna go fishing at 7-9 a.m. I wanna go home and sleep.

[wolfie]

You can boost the bass/treble/volume all you well please

Never gone fishing for treble or volume - what kind of gear do you use?

[dalesys]

Never gone fishing for treble or volume - what kind of gear do you use?

I'd call *that* fishing for trouble.

[darkroxas45]

I was just mad because he takes us out to this little beach area that kinda sucks for fishing, and on the drive there, or well, any where he turns the bass, treble, and volume on his stereo all the way up and blares it through the stock Mercury Sable speakers

[catcul]

Dear Allegiant Air,

Please get me to St. Pete and back safely. My flights are coming up quickly. Make sure the ground doesn't follow suit.

Sincerely,

Catcul